Experience Tumblr like never before
Witcher - Blog Posts
Skyrim/Witcher Crossover - Cicero Fuckeries
alright so i’m gonna make this its own post since I have a lot in mind for this specific lil scenario, and i don’t want to make a too big a text wall ajs;dlfkjasldk
just hear me out on this one, this would be a lot more entertaining than you might think
Cicero, Geralt and Jaskier first meet out on the road, out in front of the Loreius farm
Geralt was fully intent on ignoring Cicero’s call for help, but Jaskier is the one to be like “hey, why don’t we give this guy a hand?”
honestly the two prolly bicker a bit on what they should do but then Jaskier hits him with That Look and Geralt finally relents
Geralt helps up to the farm while Jaskier sticks around with Cicero, making small talk
aint long for Geralt to come back down the hill with Loreius in tow - really not hard for him to change Loreius’s mind on the whole ordeal
Jaskier finds the little man very odd, but still fun to talk to
Cicero also thinks he’s fun, but at the same time, i would not be surprised in the slightest if he’s lowkey plotting a murder - getting mother home stays his blade, of course, but if he has the free time? hmm… tempting, tempting indeed…
Once Loreius is down there helping Cicero, Geralt starts to leave, but Cicero calls out to him, asks him to wait, before tossing a coin purse his way as a thank you
he accepts it without a word, and off Geralt and Jaskier go
Jaskier has no idea what’s up with Cicero, but Geralt knows there’s something definitely not right
he wasn’t lying about his mother being in that box, as far as he could tell - his sharp sense of smell confirmed it - but there was just something… wrong. something dark. something evil
they don’t see each other again for a while, not until the Cure for Madness happens and Cicero is all alone in Dawnstar (assuming he’s been spared)
Geralt and Jaskier happen to be there, too, looking for work
they’re in the tavern, with Jaskier playing tunes for coin and Geralt sitting alone at a table, watching him and takin swigs of his ale, and Cicero sees em and he’s just like !!!!!!
just scampers his tiny ass over to Geralt and plops down next to him with a big smile on his face
“Well, well, well! Long time, no see, dearest Witcher! I was wondering if we’d ever cross paths again.”
“Cicero.”
they chat up a storm - or more Cicero’s talking to him while Geralt listens and prolly says like… five words in one sentence at most
definitely asks about his mother, who Cicero simply says is enjoying her new home
which confirms something on Geralt’s mind, but he keeps it to himself
Jaskier had seen the jester walk over to Geralt while he was performing, and once he’s done he goes over to say hello
ain’t long before it’s the three of them sittin there, chattin it up. Err, well, Cicero and Jaskier chatting it up while Geralt offers his most enlightening hmm’s
something something Cicero ends up more or less inviting himself along on the adventure since he, at that time between the Cure for Madness and the end of the DB questline, has nowhere else to be
something something also tagging along so he can go through with his little Jaskier murder plot
something something he does attempt to kill him a couple times but some thing or another foils it without him actually getting caught by the bard in question, or more importantly, Geralt
mind you, Jaskier actually likes Cicero - as eccentric as the man is, he relates
but then he hits him with the bard joke
and poor Jaskier
a lad is CONCERNED
HE’S TALKIN ABOUT SMASHIN LUTES AND BURNIN BARDS
starts sticking around Geralt a bit closer than usual
Cicero learns very, very quickly that you do not make murder jokes around Geralt
he does not appreciate them
he especially does not appreciate murder jokes about Jaskier
Regardless of this, Cicero tries very hard to get Geralt to laugh when the three of them are out on the road
he’s never seen him do anything more than smirk and “hmmph” in a way that he’s pretty sure was a laugh but isn’t positive on
he’s done countless jokes, no matter how well structured or not, desperate to get a chuckle, a smile, anything
Usually doesn’t work, but Jaskier gets a kick out of most of em
there’s some point in time where Cicero gives up on trying to kill Jaskier, for a couple of different reasons.
One, Geralt Will Find Him. Cicero may have outrun Arnbjorn but he will not stand a chance against a Witcher. He knows this.
Two, he’s found enough bloodshed travelling with these two to keep him contented
Three - honestly? Jaskier is friend-shaped. He can never know about who or what Cicero actually is since saying anything about him would technically break one of the Tenets, but he’s helped Cicero out in ways he may never know
at some point, the trio are at a jarl’s palace, attending some celebration (prolly the “slaying” or Alduin or something to do with the Civil War, regardless if we’re taking Dragonborn!Geralt into account)
Jaskier gets harassed by someone, who claims he slept with their spouse the last time they were there
Geralt steps in, tells em to fuck off, right
But Cicero’s watching from afar as the person leaves, and he walks over after they go with a grin on his face
“Tsk tsk tsk tsk! Naughty, naughty, Jaskier! You ought to know better than to sleep with a noble’s lover! You’ve gotten yourself in a situation now, haven’t you?”
Jaskier apologizes (kinda sarcastically, kinda awkwardly, not really sure where Cicero’s going with this)
and then the little fucker just hits him with
“Well… Geralt may scare them off for now, but… oh, what are you going to do if you’re alone, hmm?”
his grin widens and he leans closer
“Cicero could make sure they don’t come back. If you would like.”
and Jaskier is just like “wat” for a solid couple of seconds before he realizes he’s talking MURDER
Jaskier appreciates and utilizes Cicero’s murderiness and you caN’T TELL ME OTHERWISE
HE IS A FERAL FUCKING BABY NOT AFRAID TO SEND THE LITTLE GREMLIN JESTER MAN OUT TO STAB A BITCH FOR HIM
AND CICERO THRIVES OFF JASKIER’S FERAL BABINESS BECAUSE IT’S A SIDE OF HIM HE NEVER SAW UNTIL NOW
and poor Geralt
Geralt is very tired
not only does he have to make sure Jaskier doesn’t get killed, he has to make sure Cicero doesn’t go out killing people himself
the trio is often mockingly called the travelling circus by those living in the towns and cities they pass through
Geralt knows Cicero’s Dark Brotherhood and caught on pretty early, but he actually doesn’t do anything, per se
he keeps him in line as best he can when they’re travelling together - more or less makes sure he’s not killing people he shouldn’t be
but he knows Cicero’s off to his own devices when he leaves to go do whatever it is he does before travelling again
And, while he would NEVER openly admit it, he is aware the Dark Brotherhood is something of a necessary evil in Tamriel. From what he understands, they kill people, yes, but the ones they’re called upon to kill aren’t innocent people by any sense of the word. They’re slavers, they’re abusers, they’re corrupt politicians - the scum of the earth. Geralt (likely with a little bit of convincing from Jaskier if/when he finds out about Cicero’s true identity), tries his best to keep Cicero in line outside of the contracts he was once called upon to fulfill
I’m gonna leave it here for now and do separate interaction headcanon posts between Cicero and Geralt and Jaskier individually because this is a fucking huge text block but really tho
i just fucking love the idea of the gremlin jester travelling with the gremlin bard and gremlin monster hunter. there is a chaos there that i’m thriving on
Paint Process: Bounce a Coin Off Your Witcher Timelapse
This is the 30 second speedy timelapse of the painting.
I post the full length timelapses on my Patreon now!
Really enjoying song fics these days!
Does anyone know any good ones!?
Oh and I just posted a trash of the counts family
Cale Anti hero by Taylor Swift
Please tell me any songs you guys love oh and the fandom of course!
I might even just hit shuffle on my music and write a fic by random lolz!
Fanfic idea
Jaskier being able to “chi block” ala Ty Lee from Avatar the last airbender
1- imagine Geralts face
2- the scene where Ty Lee knocks out all those boy flirting with her but with jaskier !
3- everyone thinking jaskier can’t fight and him agreeing .... but he can knock people out
4 - it would be hilarious!!!
Witcher fanfic
“Butch” and “butcher” sound a lot alike and Getalt has always been one to take things the wrong way
Some latest Witcher 3 fanart
Precious Stone. On a hunt with hunting dogs🐶
August 9, 1275
Trader’s camp east of Oxenfurt
I shall keep this entry brief, for I haven’t much time. I have accepted my first contract, on what I believe to be a particularly powerful nightwraith. According to Silas, the trader who posted the contract, a local girl recently ran off with one of his men, a Skelliger by the name of Horst. Unfortunately, the two never got to marry, for their wedding was interrupted by a bandit gang, who killed Horst and attempted to ravish the girl, who took up her lover’s sword and killed herself rather than allow them to lay hands on her. I found her body in a shallow grave, marked only by the fresh earth covering it. All that is left now is to wait a few hours and burn the bones. Maybe then she will have peace.
August 7,1275
Crow’s Nest, Temeria
Today, I finished my training, and set out on the Path. This morning, I headed down to the yard for more sword practice when Geralt told me that I was ready-that he had nothing left to teach me. To be completely honest, I don't believe him. How is it that he managed to condense centuries of knowledge and witcher training into just these past few years? I can’t be ready, but he seemed so certain that I didn’t want to argue the point. Soon, as I have known since I started training, I will have to venture out into the wilds alone, to hunt monsters and monstrous men, but i’m still in shock that it was this soon. I only hope that I can make it without Geralt to guide me along his path, although I suppose that that’s the point. In any case, tonight I will feast with the Baron and his men, and then tomorrow I will take my first contract, although I know not where from. I only hope I can be half the Witcher that Geralt is, and Vessmir was.
Последнее слово. По вселенной “Ведьмака”
Последнее слово горит Клеймом на моем языке. Уродлив, помят и забит, Как перышко в жесткой руке.
Последнее слово "Беги!" - И рык, и метание стрел, И страх, словно кот, у ноги Клубком черно-белым присел.
Беги, дорогая, скорей, Пока мне послушны глаза. Возможно, я был бы смелей, Но боль же плетет, как лоза!..
Ты мне не родная. Ничуть. Но нет никого родней. Я видел твой яркий путь. Я видел тебя на дне,
Как пряди твоих волос Слетали к рукам врагов, Как в сумерках шлейф полос Сиял, словно сто костров.
Здесь воздух так сперт и глух. Я тщетно ищу следы, Но весь обратился в слух На случай большой беды.
А ты улетела. Вновь. Укутал тебя закат. Похоже, во мне есть кровь, Раз этому я не рад.
Последняя просьба горит Клеймом на моем языке. Уродлив, помят и забит, Как перышко в жесткой руке.
Не раз я тебя терял, Не раз убегали в ночь, Но кто-то ведь подсказал Последнее слово -
Дочь.
Путь Белого Волка. По вселенной “Ведьмака”
Стучат копыта. И в листьях ветер читает проповедь уходящим. Стучат копыта.И плачут дети Над прошлым. Шмыгая настоящим. Там Волчьи плечи не держат небо. И лес не стонет, а просто рушится. Там гаснут свечи. И так нелепо Свет в Тьму влюбился - И ею душится. Мечи, как ветки, ласкают спину. И вроде как-то полегче двигаться По этой клетке. А вдруг остынет И в этом сердце Жизнь? Уже ведь силится. Стучат копыта. И в листьях ветер читает проповедь уходящим. - Все карты биты. И ты в ответе Перед собой, перед настоящим. Он знает это. Он знает многое. И гонит лошадь. Но сам не гонится. Зима и лето. Одной дорогою. И гнется мужество. Кричит бессонницей. Еще минуточку...еще мгновение... Останься. Хочется. Я запах чувствую. Пришло забвение. Пришло забвение. Послало к черту все. В придачу с чувствами. И Волчьи плечи не держат небо. И лес не стонет, а просто рушится. Там гаснут свечи. И так нелепо Свет в Тьму влюбился - И ею душится. С посвящением Белому Волку
going to the search page and constantly refreshing the trending tags until I see a fandom i’m in or something wildly controversial
I’m just gonna put this idea out there in the wind, because it’s been bothering me...
What if instead of Wizards becoming Aurors in the Wizarding World, there were Witchers...? Instead of Dementors guarding Azkaban, there were six foot something tall dudes with two swords on their backs and dimiritium grenades to be popped off at any given time and any prisoner wears a collar of the same metal or it’s put into their food?
Do you really think Bellatrix Le Strange would’ve gotten out of Prison? Do you think a Witcher wouldn’t have used Axii on Sirius Black to make him tell the truth about who really sold out Harry’s Parents? You think they wouldn’t have figured out Petigrew was still around maybe when one walked by Ron Weasely at Hogwarts holding a rat or even at the train station, like “Hold up. Your rat smells like a 40+ year old man, let me just check it out?”
And the prospect of having modern Witchers...??? They still have swords, of course, because of tradition and they keep their medallions and all their mutations, but they find safer ways to make Witchers, maybe even make female Witchers...? With modern anesthesia to prevent quite so many children (the 3/10 survival rate raised up to at least like 7/10???) and maybe, just maybe they’re less hated than they are on the Continent? More so respected than feared, but obviously, some dude with cat eyes, two swords on his back and a scowl walked into a bar, you’re gonna be at least a little intimidated.
There’s also the thought that Witchers might also carry modern weapons, because why have a wand and exhaust yourself when you can bring a gun to a wand fight and shoot silver bullets...??? Can you imagine how much more danger Remus Lupin would’ve been in if Witchers were guarding Hogwarts when the Murauders were running around...? If one of them might’ve even been able to help him? Find his maker and help him break the curse...?
Can you even fathom how much James Potter might’ve idolized Witchers...? Sirius Black the cad to end all other cads himself...?
And how much faster would Voldemort have been dealt with? “Oh, you have an evil Wizard trying to start a war? Yeah, pay me five hundred galens and he’ll be dead by the end of the weekend.” But when they find out about the horcruxes they’re like “Huh...okay seven hundred and the end of the week” like there’s no way the fate of the world would’ve been dumped on Harry’s shoulders because it never would’ve come to pass. Harry’s parents probably would’ve lived and a lot of evil Wizards would be dead rather than locked up.
It’s just a concept in my mind that just seems like they could mesh so well together, but the plot points of the Harry Potter books just would be so completely different, because Witchers are prepared. For example, a School of the Wolf being invited to the Tri-Wizard Tournament? Oh, my God, you think a platoon of Witchers wouldn’t be assigned by Dumbledore to protect the school? Wouldn’t investigate the ingredients missing from Snape’s stores and smell Polyjuice Potion all over “Moody”, figure out he’s a newly escaped Crouch Jr. and immediately take him out? And probably Karkaroff, too just to be safe...? You think they wouldn’t recognize the Cup as a port key and warn everyone...?
Voldemort wouldn’t be able to get literally anything done if they had Witchers watching over/wandering the Wizarding world...and maybe even being born...? What if they could find a way to make Witchers that are fertile...? A new form of “pure blood” contention? Pure Witchers always quarreling with Pure Wizards and when some of their children refuse the “Path” lifestyle they can go to Hogwarts to learn more about magic, creature care and alchemy rather than hunting and fighting monsters?
Can you imagine how many of them would probably be more often than not sorted into houses like Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff over Slytherin or Griffindor? Witchers aren’t raised to have bold ambition or to seek glory through their bravery. Only to seek knowledge for the good of others and to help those in need...
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk...
If he comes with settings, does that mean I can buy him in bulk?
Why is he like this?