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Incorrect Harry Potter Quotes - Blog Posts
Luna: alright, here is my $7.50, but I think you should know that the money is cursed.
Ginny & Ron: what?
Luna: Oh, I cursed it!
Hermione: and by that you mean..?
Luna: so bad things will happen to he who spends it
Harry: ah that’s alright, bad things happen to me anyway
Pete: what would you wish for if you had three wishes from a genie, and you can’t wish for more wishes, more money or to bring people back from the dead
Pete: I’d wish for everytime I’ve ever wanted
Lily: ..okay, im feeling some undertones
Marlene: I’ve had some pretty bad wishes icl..
Remus: cause have you ever had a bad thought though, like ‘I wish I was dead’ or something?
James: or like you wish you could disappear?
Mary: exactly
Peter: ..no.
Sirius: I try to think positive..
Dorcas, Barty, Evan & Regulus: [who just wanted to stop by] . . .
Hermione: How’d it go, honey?
Ron: [just got back after dinner with Blaise’s parents for the first time] I think it went well..
Harry: Ron. You texted me saying “this place is so fucking fancy. I don’t know which knife to kill myself with.”.
Hermione: …
Ron: …
Harry: …
Hermione: Must of been pretty fancy if you didn’t kill yourself
Ron: Oh my god it was!! And !!-
Hermione: I wanna be a main character so bad
Ron: Is that why you read on rainy days by the window?
Harry: [ignoring Ron] me too
Hermione: …
Ron: …
Hermione: you already are..
Harry: no, I wanna be the smart, pretty main character that’s whole story is getting the partner at the end, not the main character loses everyone ‘for the plot’
Neville: nah dw Harry I get ya
Oliver: *pitches an idea*
Penelope, impressed: Huh, there might be something here!
Percy, under his breath: Yeah, a lawsuit.
LMFAO Draco being ✨Draco✨
Harry: I only have 6 weeks left to live Hermione: Harry! Oh Merlin, really?! I'll figure something out, don't worry! Ron: Mate! Really?! Hermione will figure something out, you're not going to die! Harry: It's just a guesstimate based on the choices I've made... Hermione: Ron:
Draco: my soul is as dark as my childhood
Harry:
Ron:
severus :
Lucius:
Ron : I hate you Percy
Percy: I hate myself to
Ron:.....
Percy: ......
sirius would be the rich heir and remus would be the cute stablehand
just something to think about
marauders as things my friends have said... pt. 1
Sirius: What are you guys caution hobbies?
Lily: Our what?
Sirius: You know like bad things we always do, like James messing up his hair.
James: I do not-
Remus: Habits, he means your habits.
need i remind you that ronald weasley, aged eleven, didn’t know that he had just sat in ~the harry potter~’s compartment and offered half of his sandwich to this random boy on the train who he’d only just met, because he was all alone and seemed to have no food,
i’m sick of the ron slander
Draco: I’m not afraid of anything…except acne and leprechauns.
Pansy: Leprechauns aren’t real.
Draco: I know what I saw!
I can survive well enough on my own— if given the proper reading material.
Hermione Granger, probably
*Hermione carrying the groceries*
Hermione: Hey, do you have any bags?
Harry: The only bags I have are under my eyes, and their specifically designed to carry the burden of my existence.
Hermione:
Hermione: A simple ‘no’ would have sufficed.
Harry: I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone.
Hermione: I need you to be less vague and less weird.
Hermione: Don’t worry, I still have a few books up my sleeve.
Ron: I think you mean cards-
Harry: No, she doesn’t.
Hermione: *pulling out Hogwarts, A History from her sleeve* No, I don’t.
Harry: Can’t you just admit you made a mistake?
Hermione *drinking her tea*: I prefer it with salt
harry is not third wheeling he's literally their son
Hermione: Why are you following me? Ron: Because we’re dating now? Hermione: Okay… what about Harry? Ron: We’re a package deal Harry: Buy one idiot, get one free
Harry Potter as bullshit ive said #1
Ron: for the last two weeks ive had mac n cheese at least once a day
Hermione: what the fuck
Ron: at this point im about 80% mac n cheese
Fights between Ron and Draco always make me laugh, simply because all I can imagine is crazy tall (probably well built from fighting with his brothers) ginger haired Ron starring down at a tiny, scrawny, pale kid shouting overly worded insults
Remus: *plucking petals off a flower* He loves me... he loves me not. He loves me... he loves me not. He loves me... *plucks last petal* he loves me not...
Sirius: *bursting in with an armful of various flowers and bouquets* That can’t be right, try again.
Sirius: May i sit here?
Remus: That’s my lap.
Sirius: That doesn’t answer my question, Remus.
Sirius: Who the fuck ate all my chocolate frogs? I WILL KI-
Remus: I did.
Sirius: Kiss you and ask if you want more, love.
Remus: There are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way and the Sirius way.
James: Isn't that just the wrong way?
Remus: Yeah, but faster.
Sirius: No, it's too dangerous for you to go alone! Here, take this!
Remus:
Remus: You're just holding out your hand.
Sirius: Can’t believe you dared me to kiss Moony, James.
James: But i didn’t da-
Sirius: Guess i have no choice.
James: Sirius i didn’t-
Peter: *holds back laughter*
Sirius: Can’t believe you guys, always the same with you....... come here Moony.
Remus: Okay. *leans in*
Lily: Potter!
James: Evans!
Lily: Potter.
James: Evans.
Lily: Potter!! and that’s my final word!!
James: Evans!!!
Sirius: Why the hell are they shouting each other's last names?
Remus: (without looking up from his book) They're fighting over which one to use when they get married.
*Sirius, James & Peter not being able to sleep in the Gryffindor common room at 3 am, while Remus quietly sleeps*
Sirius (whispering): According to a study, one out of four boys is homosexual. We’re four boys and that means one of us is homosexual. I just hope it's Remus, because he's such a cute and handsome guy.
James: .....
Peter: Yeah it’s definitely Moony, for sure.