Im Sensitive - Blog Posts

When i say i can't handle relationship angst, at least with bad ending, i mean I really really can't handle relationship angst. I'll start crying very easily. Sometimes over very small things. I made up a cheating scenario in my head and ended up having to stop myself from literally crying out in sorrow as i sobbed. More recently i read a smau that included Crocodile and the scenario was like "You wear his shirt" except Crocodile didn't like it and it was supposed to be comedic but it bummed me out, then i started to imagine it in my head and started to despair and i ended up crying sobbing again. To be fair i had stopped taking my meds again (i get lazy to refill the little day by day boxes things, refilled them again 2 days ago bc mood was starting to get really bad) but i know even if i was taking em i would've probably still cried a bit. So unless its platonic or familial angst (though something depressing enough will bum me out a lot) I cant handle it. Strangely enough, whump is an exception. I save whump especially for when im mad or upset, to which i read it and often calm down and can go to sleep.

News Flash: All my moots and faves are my besties. Fight me if you don't like it, but I love all my moots and faves too much to pick and choose.

Also: the power of friendship (and a whole lotta coffee) will aid my victory. Verbal fight only, physical contact makes me cry.

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Holiday Hacks For The Highly Sensitive Person

• Embrace the art of kindness (i.e. Practicing random acts of kindness). 

• Ground yourself and practice deep breathing to center yourself on a regular basis. 

• Create a gratitude list including 5 things you are grateful for each day. 

• Simplify the holidays (i.e. Decluttering items, writing shopping or grocery lists). 

• Pamper yourself and rejuvenate. 

• Embrace your creativity by making DIY gifts such as bath or baking products. There are many resources that include a variety of DIY gifts such as YouTube or Pinterest. 

• Don’t be hard on yourself. 

• Get yourself a gift. 

• Embrace old traditions that you love or cultivate new traditions. Do which ever one works for you. 

• Take time and space to recharge at holiday events (i.e. Bathroom breaks, taking a walk outside, etc)...

• Avoid over indulgence. This may include foods, compulsive spending, alcohol, and other toxic substances.

• Exercise regularly if possible. 

• Seek out inspiration to help motivate you during the holidays. 

• Create a budget if you plan on spending money during the holidays. 

• To avoid sensory overload, it may be helpful to shop when it is less crowded. This may include mornings or before the holidays. Shopping online may also be a helpful option. 

• Get cozy and find time to relax. 

• Help create someone else’s holiday. 

• Know your triggers and have a plan that includes healthy coping strategies. 

• If you are low on cash, swapping trades with someone such as babysitting or cooking can be a great gift idea on the holidays.

• Attend support groups. There are a number of support groups such as 12 step meetings on the holidays that may provide support as well as holiday celebration. 

Wishing you all a happy holidays!

With love,

Dahlia

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8 Ways For Highly Sensitive People to Break Free From Loneliness

October 31, 2019

Although it has taken me some time to write this article, I have been actively experimenting with techniques to break free from the loneliness I discussed in my last article.

I have recently discovered that loneliness can be temporary or it may be complex and chronic in nature. I am also realizing there is no quick and easy fix to my chronic sense of loneliness.

I do not believe one is hopeless in such a situation, as the healing process requires time and patience to overcome this obstacle.

I know many highly sensitive people can relate to my experience with loneliness. Therefore, I would love to share with you eight beneficial coping strategies that are bringing me a sense of relief on my healing path!

8 Ways a Highly Sensitive Person Can Break Free From the Chains of Loneliness and Gain a Sense of Connection!

1. Awareness

Being aware that you are lonely, rather than simply embracing solitude can be the first step to addressing an issue with loneliness. Having awareness about your vulnerabilities such as being HSP, experiencing grief, trauma, etc... It is also important to be aware that you are not alone and that there are others out there going through similar experiences. There truly is an abundance of support and like minded people in the world if you are willing to receive it!

2. Healing Work

Many highly sensitive people come from backgrounds filled with complex trauma or abuse that may have impacted the body mind and spirit of these sensitive souls. Therefore, an integrative approach may be beneficial in order to address the various underlying aspects that lead to a chronic sense of loneliness. For example, tending to one's physical, mental, and spiritual needs. Healing modalities may range from counseling, addiction recovery, therapy, support groups, alternative methods, and general health care. It may also require a degree of patience along with vigilance during the healing process and I know it is not an easy path (but worth it!)

3. Make Connection a Priority and Build It Into a Routine.

 An excellent way to integrate a sense of connection with routine, is by starting small and increasing socialization gradually. Since everyone has different personal and social needs, increasing one's sense of connection may look different from person to person. This may simply include going out for a walk, a friendly greeting to another person, connecting with the essence of nature, blocking out a specific time to spend with a close friend regularly. I personally find elements of comfort to be helpful( i.e. person, place, object, or existing routine), while transitioning to a new routine. As you gradually experiment with this concept, observe how each activity makes you feel to track progress over time. Over time, you can gain momentum and see how far you have come!

4. Seek Out Connections With Like Minded People and Value Existing Connections

As highly sensitive people, we tend to value deep connections and prefer depth over breadth in relationships rather than quantity. I know this can lead to feelings of loneliness and frustration for HSPs. I do believe it to be few and far between to find such connections but they do exist! Although it is rare, many of us have experienced these connections at some point in our lives and I am extremely grateful for those special connections as many people may never experience this in a lifetime!

Seeking out connections with like minded people can be comforting. You will also find that many others are going through similar experiences and not only need support but want to be supportive as well. By being available and of service to others, one can experience a sense of relief as well as connections.

 5. Lower Expectations With Others 

One thing I have observed about myself,(and many people in general) is a tendency to have unrealistic expectations about people without considering people's differences. I am learning that everyone approaches and processes situations differently, particularly in comparison to highly sensitive people. I also find that a great number of people in this day in age are not truly capable or available for healthy intimacy. Therefore, I realize the unnecessary struggle of taking things as personally.

6. Grounding

 There are a variety of ways to ground or center one's self.I find t connecting with nature to have profound effects, particularly after my recent visit to Alaska( ie. witnessing the beautiful scenery such as the northern lights). This can be a great way to not only embrace the sensory experience but escape from a ruminating mind. Exercises such as deep breathing, mindfulness meditation, or shielding energy with an imaginary white light or bubble can create a similar grounding effect.

Lastly, striving for a sense of autonomy and breaking free from entanglements/relationships that create energetic codependency can help protect a person's energy. Taking a walk and connecting with nature can also be a helpful technique to switch from a ruminating mind into the senses.

7. Busy Your Schedule Doing What You Love

 Volunteer for a cause that you value or participate in a hobby such as a creative project you are passionate about. I find that by immersing myself in these activities, I experience a sense of connection, purpose, and being part of something greater than myself and my struggles.

8.Connect With Yourself and Love Yourself Unconditionally

This can also be a great opportunity to embrace solitude and experience the oneness with life!

 Reexamine old beliefs about yourself or past experiences and see if it is an obstacle from putting yourself out there into the world. Many times we believe lies about ourselves and miss the opportunities to reach our potentials and create our dream lives as a result of false self beliefs. 

Learning to have self compassion and acceptance can be a great way to connect with yourself and love yourself unconditionally. I know this can take time and it can be rough at times but please remember that feelings are not always facts and whatever you are going through will pass.  Filling yourself with love and acceptance create self sufficiency. With this self sufficiency, I believe one can more easily love and connect with others as well as extend that love to others with a fuller love tank!

Thank you for letting me share about my experience with loneliness and the lessons I have learned regarding this issue! There truly can be so much more to this than simply needing to be around people as it is often more about experiencing healing and connection! How do you cope with loneliness or experience connection?

With Love,

Dahlia

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Hey, I just recently learned about HSP because I always had the feeling that something is kind of wrong with me and my mother always thought I was highly intelligent. Not sure about this but I identify a lot with HSP I already bought a book about the topic and feel like the tips they give there would help me a lot. But I live with my family and it's kind of impossible to start a routine that would make me feel better because they don't listen to me or believe in HSP it's really frustrating:/

Hi and thankyou for reaching out to me! I know it can be frustrating when other’s do not understand or make the effort to at least learn about the HSP trait. I believe relationships can actually be strengthened when we take the time to learn more about ourselves and others. Unfortunately, this is often not the case and you are not alone. Also, I am learning that being an HSP is not a flaw and HSPs are often creative and gifted! Being a smaller portion of the population, however, HSPs can easily be misunderstood. There are a number of therapists that know about and specialize in working with highly sensitive people. They can determine if you are an HSP and are skilled in this area. There are also many resources available on the topic. I hope I can help point you in the right direction and that you are doing well!

With love, 

Dahlia

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5 Reasons Highly Sensitive People Struggle With Loneliness

June 26, 2019

For the past month, I have debated on whether or not to post about loneliness as it can involve various factors or perspectives. I would also love to elaborate on this topic in my next article post as I am exploring ways to dissolve my own feelings of loneliness.

As humans, we are wired to connect with others and I believe it is an important need to be addressed. Without healthy connections, people usually try to meet these needs in a variety of unhealthy (self destructive) ways.

Although most people experience loneliness at some point in their lives, this feeling seems to come with the territory of being a highly sensitive person (HSP) on a chronic level.

Why Do We Feel Lonely?

The following list includes five common reasons HSPs may struggle with loneliness...

1. Self Isolation

Most highly sensitive people require plenty of alone time to process things (especially introverts). Although solitude is needed to recharge and protect our sensitivity, we can easily take our alone time too far without realizing it. Too much solitude can lead to self isolation. Experiencing overwhelming emotions may also lead to isolation.

2. Feeling Misunderstood/ Invalidated

Feeling misunderstood also seems to come with the territory of being an HSP. I believe one reason is that many of us want to be true to ourselves and express ourselves authentically in a society that encourages the opposite.

As HSPs, we tend to experience our emotions intensely and process things deeply. It can be difficult to express ourselves in ways non HSPs may understand and (often is misunderstood) as a result, many HSPs may feel invalidated. The HSP may have difficulty finding people that understand or validate their feelings or ideas.

3. Fear of Rejection/ Criticism

Along with feeling misunderstood, HSPs are prone to fearing rejection. Many of us struggle with social anxiety and may feel inadequate.

I believe that many people don't realize that HSPs tend to be highly self conscious and can be hard enough on themselves. The added pressure from other's criticism can simply be too much to process for an HSP. This can lead to withdrawal and loneliness.

4. Vibes

Hsps are often intuitive empaths that can pick up the energy from the environment or other's. We can also easily pick up on social cues, expressions, intentions or the underlying motives of other's.

HSPs may also feel super uncomfortable around "fake" people and want to avoid surface level friendships in general. HSPs tend to prefer deep and meaningful connections and conversations and may avoid certain people or situations if an uncomfortable vibe or feeling arises.

5. Rumination

Highly Sensitive people are known for having abundant inner worlds and a natural talent for creativity (which is amazing)! Unfortunately, this trait can also make HSPs more prone to rumination (overthinking/feeling about situations).

Rumination can also be linked to anxiety, depression, trauma, various forms of addictions (All can be isolating experiences).

The heightened state of anxiety associated with rumination may lead to a fight or flight reaction causing an HSP to either avoid social situations or negatively react. This can lead to more feelings of isolation, invalidation, and avoidance.

You Are Not Alone!

If anyone can relate to this article, please know that you are not alone in this world and your feelings are valid! There are others (including myself) that can relate and care!

I plan on writing more about this topic and my journey to dissolving my chronic loneliness.

If you can relate to this post or need to reach out, feel free to share in the comments! Thankyou very much for your support!

With Love, 

Dahlia

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Defining The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

For as long as I can remember, I have felt hyper sensitive not only to the behavior and emotions of other’s but to physical pain and the environment as well. I have always felt too much and often experienced a sense of overwhelm without even knowing where it came from at times. I have experienced the bitter sweetness that so many HSP’S know all too well. Like many HSP’S, I have often felt extremely misunderstood and have experienced difficulty fitting in with society. On the same note, I have witnessed this high level of sensitivity to be one of my greatest attributes. Being highly sensitive has been an absolute blessing in my work in the healing arts in fields such as hospice and massage therapy. The HSP trait has also been an invaluable asset as it has been linked to experiencing a range of emotions, deeply empathizing with others, and facilitating creative expression. If you or someone you know can relate to these traits, you are certainly not alone and may very well be a highly sensitive person.In this post, I would like to briefly note a number of variations describing the highly sensitive person. 

The HSP Defined

Although there are various types of Highly Sensitive people, the following descriptions are examples of ways HSP’s have been described in general:

 Dr Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D, author of The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, in an article titled What Does It Mean To Be Highly Sensitive? describes the HSP demeanor as a particular trait found in one’s personality. She defines an HSP as a person who responds to mental, physical, and emotional stimulation acutely. She explains that being a highly sensitive person is normal and about 15-20% of the population with a particular gene are considered to be a highly sensitive person. There has also been evidence based research in the field of psychology suggesting the HSP trait is, indeed, a real trait some people truly acquire. This personality trait is called SPS(Sensory Processing Sensitivity), indicating that the HSP actually has neural differences from most of the population. 

In the previously mentioned article, Dr Aron goes on to mention that the HSP has pros and cons. Some of the positive traits included involve traits such as empathy, intuition, being highly attuned to another’s needs, and creativity. Infact, many HSP’s have careers in fields such as therapy, counseling, writing, artistry, and music. Some negative aspects of being an HSP include being easily overwhelmed, tiring easily, and are very sensitive to other’s emotions. She explains more about the scientific research regarding the HSP on her website. 

Another author known for her work in this field is Dr Judith Orloff MD. She has written many books and articles geared to the highly sensitive person and I have personally enjoyed reading her work. In Psychology Today, she mentions that highly sensitive people have a low tolerance for stimulation and a preference for spending time alone. She also mentions the HSP having a sensitivity to sound, light, and smell as well as experiencing a sensitivity to large crowds. Although HSP’s can be extroverts, she mentions that most HSP’s tend to be introverts.    

In this post, I briefly described my experience as an HSP as well as several descriptions of the HSP by experts in the field of Psychology. Since this blog is dedicated to supporting and connecting with other HSP’s or anyone interested in the topic, I intend to create more informative posts as I continue my journey. I believe there is an abundance of knowledge we can all learn from eachother on this journey from surviving to thriving as highly sensitive people. 

With love,

Dahlia

Welcome To My First Blog

Hi I'm Dahlia and welcome to my first blog ever! This blog is about the HSP (Highly sensitive person). For as long as I can remember, I have been a highly sensitive person. I have always been highly sensitive to people, energies, emotions, and various other stimuli. For many years, I struggled with my sensitive nature and after experiencing many difficult life circumstances , I have been on the path to self discovery and healing. During a healing session I had many years ago, a practitioner mentioned that I was a highly sensitive person and suggested a number of resources to help me along the way. After the healing session, I became curious about the HSP topic and began my journey from surviving to thriving as a highly sensitive person. I have grown and learned alot over the years, but after the recent sudden loss of my partner ( he was my best friend and love of my life), my sensitivity has been effected in ways I can't even explain (perhaps in another post). The experience of his loss has been excrutiatingly painful and when he died, I felt like I died too. This experience has propelled me to a whole new level of healing. After a mentor recently suggested I start a blog, I chose to write about the highly sensitive person. At first, I was reluctant to create a blog. I tend to be shy and introverted and had never posted on social media before. Because I felt driven and inspired, I decided to no longer let my ego run the show and decided to create this blog with a sense of purpose. Although I don't have it all mapped out yet, this blog is intended to serve many purposes. Some purposes of this blog include:

To provide information, tools, and resources about the HSP

To be of service or support other HSP's in some way

To connect with other HSPs and like minded people

To learn more about the HSP

To evolve as a writer and learn how to blog

This post is a brief introductory to this blog. In the next post, I will describe what an HSP actually is in more detail. Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Feel free to comment or request any topics for this blog and again, welcome to the blog!

With love,

Dahlia