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3d Thoughts - Blog Posts
I binged the FIFTH FUCKING DAY IN A ROW.
Holy shit. I feel so ashamed for even typing this and I don't know how or why I could let that happen. And I could've restricted so easily, too, yesterday and today because my parents were at work and I was home alone with my siblings, but NOOO I had to fucking...
I haven't even weighed myself but I'm sure it's going to be awful when I do, especially since I've been doing so well before (I've lost a lot of weight and haven't binged for a relatively long time). I've probably ruined all the progress of the past weeks.
I'm going to fucking change now. I don't think today can be saved honestly, even if I at least counted most of my calories and compared to the other days, it wasn't as bad, but I'm still going to get in my steps and then I'll be fucking DONE with binging. Thankfully, we'll soon visit my Grandma and on travel days I can fast usually, so I'm going to absolutely use that as sort of catalyst for finally locking in again, but of course I'm going to start RIGHT FUCKING NOW.
I can't go back to school after Easter break having gained like 5kg or something, not when we have so many swimming classes atm and all my friends were calling me skinny and complimenting my waist. I still have a week and a half to lock in and lose weight and I'm going to use it.
In the second week, only my sister and I will be home for a couple of days and maybe I'll even try to fast through all of them (depending on how much school work I'll have left to do then)
So yeah, sorry for rambling but I do feel slightly better now because of it
life so shit i think about 4na when i see this part
first b/p in awhile because all this time I've been doing the b of bp only
how I'll feel after i stop switching €ds and actually recover
vent
i just relapsed in binging and its the night before eid pls i cant do this anymore. i keep overeating and I've been eating so much this ramadan. my mh has gotten sm worse. pls I've had enough of having an ed but each time i try to recover i just end up switching €ds and its exhausting. i want a break from this so bad it has been like this for 3 years now. i just eanted to be skinny i didn't want to be in misery. i wish i wasn't a fatass so bad. why do i keep eating. i hate food so much i wish we didn't have to eat to survive.
literally fighting the urge to relapse these days idfk what to do anymore. i feel so horrible i cant possibly live like this any longer
My father said he could last longer not eating
And I REALLY doubt that