Latest Posts by thesassymarquess - Page 4

lance: don’t you touch her!

me, sobbing even though i’ve watched this scene 100+ times: n-nice…

Some perfect things about this picture: - All of the glasses are mismatched - He has giant holes missing from his couch that implies he possibly just got angry one day and decided to rip up his furniture - Only one person gets a napkin apparently and that’s the Person of Indeterminate Gender - The fruit looks fake (and probably is) - There are inexplicable jars on the table - The couch also looks kinda like it’s built into the wall

I think I just spent like 2? Maybe more hours reading this. If you don't like essays or A series of unfortunate events, I would recommend not reading this. However if you do like both, and would like to read an essay about A Series of Unfortunate Events, then continue

What, Then, Does Beatrice Mean? Hermaphroditic Gender, Predatory Sexuality, and Promiscuous Allusion in Daniel Handler/Lemony Snicket’s "A Series of Unfortunate Events"

by Tison Pugh

In many ways, Daniel Handler/Lemony Snicket depicts a setting amenable to female agency and empowerment throughout his A Series of Unfortunate Events.1 The chief protagonist, Violet Baudelaire, moves freely in traditionally masculine fields, and other characters—both male and female—appear remarkably unhampered by stereotypical gender roles and expectations. Roberta Seelinger Trites defines a feminist children’s novel as one “in which the main character is empowered regardless of gender. A key concept here is ‘regardless’: in a feminist children’s novel, the child’s sex does not provide a permanent obstacle to her development” (4).2 From Trites’s perspective, Violet’s freedom from traditional gender roles enables the entire series to take on a feminist cast because such a paradigm of gendered equality is taken as the normative structure of the society depicted in the thirteen novels of the series.

Keep reading

A quick short story

So, I recently wrote a quick short story to prove a point about storytelling (Ironically how to NOT do it) but I ended up actually rather liking the piece. So I’ll be posting it below. So, without much further ado, I’ll be posting the piece. Except for one problem. The piece itself gets dark. Quite dark for what I typically write. So I am trying to figure out how to “Tag triggers” because I’d rather not surprise readers with how... bad... it gets. But the to list the triggers outright would be an outright spoiler to the ending of the story, but to have a reader read a part of the story that greatly upsets them is not something I would do, because I would dislike a similar twist being pulled upon me (which, again sort of ironically, plays into the reasons for creating the story. Funny that)

So my question is simply, What is the best way to tag a trigger that is also a spoiler?

Got tagged by @noahwithaw (As seen above if you’re not blind)

Relationship Status: Has Girlfriend (As of October 1st, i.e. yesterday)

Favorite Colors: Colors along the blue green spectrum, to specifically name them, Cyan, Teal, and Turquoise.

Wake up time: Typically around 11:00 AM to 2:00 PM. College is great for sleeping in.

Cats or Dogs: I prefer Cats to Dogs. There are a few breeds of Dog I really like (Yorkshire Terriers)

Coke or Pepsi: These two aren’t that different (I can typically tell the difference and really the only thing they affect is what other sodas come with them since Coke and Pepsi are a huge duopoly and such) though I personally prefer Pepsi, both for the other sodas that come with it, and just between Coke and Pepsi. Most Pepsi machines come with root beer (mug typically) so yeah, why am I going to drink Pepsi when rootbeer is an option?

Chapstick or Lipstick: What? Chapstick I guess? I mean why would I want to wear lipstick? I’m a guy. I barely even use chapstick (typically only when camping, and then I try to avoid using it because chapped lips are a sign of dehydration, which means if you drink enough water your lips don’t get chapped. So how I avoid using chapstick is by trying to drink more water. It works as long as water in is greater than water out).

Last Song I Listened To: Well I’ve typically got some music going on when I’m trying to focus on something so I had Lemon Demon’s “I Earn My Life” and at this point “Angry People” is playing and I’m having a hard time not laughing. “Evil Babies with guns. It’s completely normal.”

I’m not really planning on tagging anyone on this really. Most people I have that I follow/follow me, I either already know the answers to most of these, or they’ve just been asked by Noah, or, OR this is the one person I’m tagging, they’re @bumibomber.

Tagged by @k-omerebii aka my bae 
Rules: Tag 9-10 people you want to get to know better
 Relationship status: cuddling my pillow at night 
Favorite color(s): red, faded colours 
Wake up time: lol it rlly depends. School days = 6:45 am, weekends = 8+ am
Cats or dogs: dogs obviously but I rlly love kittens too
Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi 
Chapstick or lipstick: lipstick 
Last song you listened to: Here Comes a Thought from the show Steven Universe 💖

I tag: @hafizzzle @noahweidner and whoever wants to do this

funny story

Way back in 7th grade english class, we got an old substitute teacher who did his very best to impress us students. He wasn’t successful, but he cracked jokes and made puns that would make everyone sigh in disappointment. That day we were working on poems, but since there was a substitute not much work was being done. I was slacking off by talking to the boy next to me. After a little bit he started jabbing me in the side as a joke and I started slapping his arm whenever he threatened to jab me again. So, the substitute sees this as a great chance to give us some fun “advice”. He says, “You know, when a boy messes with a girl like that, it means he has a crush on her.”

Everyone in the class went wild with laughter and the boy and I started gagging. Because we are twins.

The teacher was mortified when we told him and he turned really red in the face. He didn’t try to impress any of the students anymore, that’s for sure!

This was hell to finish this chapter. Now that it's done I can begin work on the next chapter (fun)

Dimension 52

(View the other chapters here [Chapter 1][Chapter 2][Chapter 3])

Chapter 4:

Despite Prismo warning he couldn’t bring Ford home, he had done it. Fortunately Ford had done so without the use of the Dimensional Portal. It’d been a year and a half since he’d been stranded, but at last, he was back in Gravity Falls.

It was one of those rainy summer days in a part of the woods he recognized as fairly close to his house. He could get back and resume his life where he’d left off. The first thing he intended to do was to disassemble that damn machine that’d sent him on this trip in the first place! After that, he’d give Stanley a piece of his mind, probably using his fist, since that seemed to get through to Stan.

Keep reading

Dimension 52

(View the other chapters here [Chapter 1][Chapter 2][Chapter 3])

Chapter 4:

Despite Prismo warning he couldn’t bring Ford home, he had done it. Fortunately Ford had done so without the use of the Dimensional Portal. It’d been a year and a half since he’d been stranded, but at last, he was back in Gravity Falls.

It was one of those rainy summer days in a part of the woods he recognized as fairly close to his house. He could get back and resume his life where he’d left off. The first thing he intended to do was to disassemble that damn machine that’d sent him on this trip in the first place! After that, he’d give Stanley a piece of his mind, probably using his fist, since that seemed to get through to Stan.

Ford reached the clearing where he’d built his house, but something seemed off. There were a bunch of signs pointing to his house labeled “Welcome to the Murder Hut!” and “Admission only $20.” Some of the signs advertised a “Madame Mystery.” Ford also noticed several other new decorations outside his house, such as the beginning of a totem pole around his antenna, and numerous satellite dishes of his had been taken down too. Over the Back door was a sign labeled “Tours” and over the side entrance was “Gift Shop.” Ford stormed up to the front door and knocked on it urgently. He was fairly cross at this point, but he heard footsteps approaching the door. The door was swung open grandly by a woman in quite the unique sense of style. To put it simply, she was dressed in what looked to be a cross of business woman and like how mom used to dress. She was probably the one called "Madame Mystery" since she seemed to be going for some kind of psychic look.

Her looks however, were not the thing that surprised Ford, that was her reaction. Her eyes immediately lit up and she swept him up in one of the biggest hugs he’d ever seen. She’d managed to physically lift Ford off the ground and was swinging him around with her eyes squeezed tight against the tears rolling from her face. “You don’t know how much I’ve missed you Dipper,” she said.

The name filled Ford with instant dread for a simple reason. He wasn’t Dipper, and he didn’t even know who this Dipper person was. He didn’t know how to break it to her. As she opened her eyes and took another look at his face and it turned out he didn’t have to.

She instantly dropped him, and her bright and cheerful tone was suddenly icily cold when she spoke again. “You’re not Dipper. Who are you and where is my brother?”

Ford was struggling to put the pieces together and remained silent. The woman looked angrier than Ford had felt earlier. “WHAT AREN’T YOU TELLING ME? YOU HAVE TO KNOW WHERE HE IS!”

Ford looked so helpless as he just starred sadly at that woman who seemed to lose so much energy shouting at him. She was on the verge of tears.Her voice quavered as she asked him again. “Just give it to me straight, okay? I’m already lost without him.”

After a moments silence the woman’s emotions finally won over her. She leaned over a nearby counter and burst into tears. Ford could make out “I failed you again” and “I’m so sorry” from repetition alone. Whatever happened to her was obviously traumatic.

Ford was never good dealing with emotions, especially other people’s. He decided his best course of action would be to let her cry herself out, and then ask her what was wrong. After that perhaps he could see if she could help him out of this dimension.

It took a while for Madame Mystery to stop crying. After she finally stopped, she excused herself to the bathroom to wash off her face, and rejoined Ford in the kitchen. Her eyes where still red and puffy from crying. She did her best to smile as she sat at the table with him. It just wound up looking fake. “As long as you’re here, you’re my guest. You want anything to eat or drink maybe?”

“Just water would be fine. I think we have some more important things to talk about.”

Madame Mystery nodded her head and left the room. A moment later she returned with a glass of water for Ford, and what looked like a glass of apple juice for herself.

Ford begun, “So can you tell me your name, and who this ‘Dipper’ is?”

Madame Mystery nodded, “My name is Mabel Pines. Dipper’s my brother, my twin brother. ”

There were many things Ford expected to hear. but that was not one of them. From the look Mabel could see on his face, this was quite obviously not one of them.

“Sorry, it’s just that... my name is Stanford Pines, and I have a twin brother too.”

It had been an hour since he’d arrived. Ford and Mabel had reached some pretty similar conclusions about their universes. Some differences were irrelevant while other differences led to a few interesting revelations. The first Ford had was that judging by the shooting star design she had on Mabel seemed to be one of the symbols from Bill’s wheel. When Mabel handed him Dipper's journal the silver pine tree with the carefully painted '1' told a similar story. The similarities to him didn't end there as apparently Dipper had fallen through his own portal, which meant he'd most likely made his own deal with Bill. The portals themselves might even be the same design. At this point Mabel and Ford had moved down to Dipper's lab, the entrance cleverly hidden behind a vending machine by Mabel.

“So after your brother disappeared, what exactly did you do?” Ford asked.

“For the first couple of weeks I spent all my time down here as I tried to fix the portal. After a while I was forced to go out into town and they wound up noticing I looked similar to my brother. I put out the idea that he’d gone off into the woods to look for something and left the shack in my hands. A missing persons report went out, the case went cold about a year ago. They thought I might have been responsible for my brother's disappearance, which meant sitting through quite a bit of investigating. Their final conclusion was I got too shaken up by the whole ordeal. I think there's still reason to believe they'll come back and arrest me. If it comes to that I don't think Dipper will ever come back.”

She looked at Ford with tears in her eyes and continued, “I need to be there when he gets back! I need to tell him I’m sorry!”

Mabel had begun to cry again but she pulled herself together and asked Ford, “Can you fix the portal, please?”

Ford knew full well fixing the portal would be a bad idea, but she was so fragile he couldn't just say no. A functional portal might also get him home. Should the world take priority, or two world-weary souls?

After a long pause, Ford looked at Mabel and said, “I’ll try my best.”

After taking a look at the portal and Dipper's journal one large, terrible conclusion was clear. Dipper’s portal was very different from his own, and he’d have to have all of Dipper’s journals if he even wanted to have a hope of fixing it properly. Looking at the consoles there were circuits there that he had no idea why they’d be there in the first place! It was as if Dipper was given an entirely different set of schematics to build off of. Or maybe he just thought differently when it came to solving the problems that were inherent in Bill’s original design. The best he could do would be to jury-rig it and hope that it holds together for long enough to get Dipper here to fix it himself. Plus there was a significant risk of him creating an interdimensional rift if he did that.

Since Ford had moved out of the theoretical zone, Ford had learned a bit more about interdimensional physics in the past year and a half. Despite not being able to get it to full efficiency he could likely minimize the danger. He rewired as much of it as he understood and jury rigged a few new things. One component that might prevent a rift and another that would hopefully create a stable portal to Dipper through a link to his bio signature.

After three days he was ready to show his hard work to Mabel. He really hoped that this would work and bring back her brother. Then perhaps he could get home himself.

“So Ford, before we fire this thing up, I wanted to give you this.”

Mabel held in her hands a crimson red sweater.

“It's a gift for all you've done for me. I know it won't be enough, but thank you.”

Mabel gave Ford another hug as he wondered if these invasions of personal space were going to be a multidimensional trend. He flipped a few switches on the control panel as a steady hum emanated from the portal. Ford entered the portal room then called out, “Mabel, stay back and watch the controls for me, okay?”

“Okay Ford. WAIT THERE’S A WARNING LIGHT!”

The call came out too late though. The portal sent off a dangerous wave of energy, temporarily stopping gravity. Ford floated up and got a clear view of an electrical explosion from the control room along with the sickeningly familiar feeling of being dragged toward the portal. Ford screamed out in distress, “NO, NO, NO, NO!”

Gravity had seemingly recovered for Mabel, who was now running into the room with a rope. "I'm not letting this happen again!" she shouted while throwing an end of it to Ford.

He caught the rope and could feel Mabel trying to pull him back in. Sadly it was clear that if she kept at it she'd get pulled in herself. “Shut it down! Don’t worry about me! Stopping the portal from destroying the shack is more important!”

Mabel looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "No, I can still save you! The lever's just a few steps back, I'll shut it down, I can make it!"

Ford knew there wasn't a chance of that happening. She probably knew too and simply wouldn't admit it. “I’m going to let go, and you’re going to push that button, okay?”

“NO!”

“I’m letting go in 3!”

“PLEASE!”

“2!″

“DON’T!”

“1!″

“YOU CAN’T DO THIS!”

“0.″

With that Ford let go. Mabel fell far back and landed right next to the switch. He felt himself being sucked into the portal again. There was only one thing left for him to say. "I'm sorry."

A moment later he was gone. Then the room became completely silent as Mabel shut down the portal.

…

funny story

In my junior year of high school, this guy asked me on a date. He rented a redbox movie and made a pizza. We were watching the movie and the oven beeped so the pizza was done. He looked me dead in the eye and said, “This is the worst part.” I then watched this boy open the oven and pull the pizza out with his bare hands, rack and all, screaming at the top of his lungs. We never had a second date.

*re-reads my own story*: Damn this is some good shit

*gets to the part where I stopped writing*: WTF WHERE'S THE REST OF IT HOW DO I GET MORE

Brain: You're the author, if you want more you have to write it

Me: *flips tables*

Chapter 1 of Dimension 52 over on Archive of Our Own. Also there’s chapters 2 and 3 over there too. This is to anyone who prefers AO3 to Tumblr.

The Author of the fanfics:

My friend

Current works in progress:

Heyo, it’s GravitiJatuh/Lxilani here. Summer is approaching, which means that updates on my fics will speed up a whole lot. Here is the future of my writing for the next few weeks:

Fearscape Of The Pines, Chapter 3: Our Phobias - out June 11/12

Scar-Crossed, Chapter 1: Orion’s Belt - out July 2016

Shooting The Star, Chapter 2: Blue Universe - out July 2016

unnamed fanfiction, Chapter 1 - out summer 2016

And an original story is in the works! It is called Venn and is inspired by Gravity Falls. I fully intend for it to become a full-length novel. The publication/finish date is completely unknown at this point; I haven’t even finished chapter 3 yet. I’ll give little updates and maybe excerpts of passages here and there until it’s finished, however long it may take (I’m guessing months or years). 

I’m sure you all are much more excited for my fanfics, though. Please look out for those, and thank you for reading!

D I P P E R   P I N E S   x   5 0

I caught that “Soup Store” reference. I’m reblogging solely because of it

You kind of have to wonder, if 2B had been drawn out over a full season, just how long they could have sustained these two not speaking to each other

^ from this post

Here you go @incorporatedmii!! Have I already told you that I love your AU???

“When you’re about to sneeze, but don’t want to sneeze like a kitten in front of your crush”

INTRODUCING: DIPPER THE CUTE PATOOT

fanfic author reaction to you (the reader)

fave/follow/kudos: smile @ screen

short review, "good job!"/"love it": happy thoughts @ you

review with details/thoughts: big smile, omg, author knows ur username now prob

add fic to rec list: OMG, tears in corner of eyes, u are now bffs

make fanart for story: author will name first born after you, a pic of ur icon hangs above their fireplace

Dimension 52

(View the other chapters here [Chapter 1][Chapter 2])

Chapter 3:

It had been a couple of months since Ford had initially landed in Ooo, Six months to be precise. His records of how long he’d been lost were kept as accurate as possible. He’d had time to meet some of the other denizens including Princess Bubblegum’s friend, Marceline the Vampire Queen. She’d visited for a bit of a prank, namely moving Bubblegum’s bed halfway across Ooo. There was the Ice King, apparently an old senile wizard who came into Bubblegum’s castle with the intent to kidnap her. Ford fought the Ice King back, knocking off the crown that was seemingly the source of his powers (Afterwards the Ice King left sulking over the fact that Princess Bubblegum apparently had a new ‘boyfriend’, a statement that left Ford quite confused for the longest amount of time.) He even ran into a pair of talking dogs named Joshua and Margret who seemed to be paranormal investigators like himself. Ford spent most of his time either training or working alongside Bubblegum on one of her recent projects, some kind of defense robot named RATTLEBALLS.

Recently he’d come to the conclusion that he wasn’t really needed in Ooo anymore, and he had more or less finished his hand-to-hand combat lessons he’d been taking. There was also the rather unnerving issue of the candy citizens that kept calling him Billy for some strange reason.  So Ford grabbed his things, including several devices he and Bubblegum had built and some food for his journey ahead. It was time for him to discuss with Bubblegum his departure from this dimension.

“Hey Peppermint Butler, where’s Princess Bubblegum?”

“She’s in her Lab currently. Do you need me to get her?”

“No, that’ll be fine, I need to talk to her myself. Thank you Peppermint Butler.”

Ford found Princess Bubblegum sitting at her lab working furiously on an invention. “Hello Princess Bubblegum.” Bubblegum silently continued to work on her invention, not really acknowledging Ford’s presence. She put down a soldering iron and picked up a screw driver sealing the case on a piece of electronics. At this point she looked up and noticed Ford’s presence.

“Hey Ford, what’s up.”

“I’m ready to go home now.”

“I understand. I figured this day was coming.” Her tone sounded off to Ford. This wasn’t her typical cheery, bubbly attitude she had.

She grabbed her device off the table, revealing a second one sitting across from it. She gave a push to her desk causing her chair to slide across the room to the Traveler’s Stone. She picked it up on the way past, smoothly exited the chair, and walked over.

“So from what I learned of the it, all you have to do it is hold it and concentrate on your destination.”

“Really? It’s that simple?”

“Yup. But before you go, take this.” She held out the little device in her hand.

“It’s an interdimensional communicator. It’s a pretty basic prototype, but it gets the job done. I’ve got another one on my desk.”

“So how does it send messages back and forth? Is it a full digital interface? I’d say my experience with these is a little behind your tech.”

“The interface is only partially digital, it just sends a physical letter through it. It’s got this dimensions address already programmed into it. All you have to do is give it something to send.”

“Any restrictions to it?”

“For one thing, anything sent has to be less than five inches wide and less than one inch thick.”

Ford looked into the sole slot on the device and noted it matched the measurements given.

“I’ll also need you to send me your current dimensional ID every time you hop to a new dimension, otherwise I won’t be able to reply.”

“Sounds pretty useful if I can get the hang of it. How do I interact with it if I need to change the settings or something? Also can it send anything that fits in it?”

“You can send anything that isn’t alive. I simply think the results would not be pretty. Other than that, size is the only factor.”

“Have you tested it yet?”

“Give me a second.”

She walked back to her desk, grabbed a folded up letter, and inserted it into her device. It continued inside the device on it’s own. After a second, the letter was gone and Ford’s device beeped out a “You’ve got D-mail.”

“Okay so now you push the button here.”

As he did so, the letter emerged from the slot in his device. It read “DMD: Dimensional Mailing Device Instructional Manual.”

“Let’s do a quick test to see if yours can send properly.”

After more than enough tests of Princess Bubblegum’s invention that may have been an excuse to spend just a bit more time together they grabbed the stone and left the lab.

“If my understanding of the Traveler’s Stone is correct being on top of the castle will be the safest location to avoid mishaps.”

A faint breeze blew by as the two of them looked down on the Candy Kingdom. The time to say goodbye had finally come. Princess Bubblegum started to hand the Stone to Ford, but after a moment’s hesitation she set the stone aside to give Ford a  well-deserved hug. Though it felt awkward and unexpected on his end Ford reciprocated the hug.

“I’ll miss you.” She whispered to him.

Ford’s face turned a shade of pink brighter than Bubblegum’s hair. He picked up the stone and a second later it floated out of his hand. After shifting into a vertical ring a glowing portal appeared inside it.

“Goodbye Princess Bubblegum.”

“Call me Bonnie.”

“Goodbye Bonnie.”

With that, Ford stepped through the portal.

“‘Aw Balls’? What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“Man, this is only the second time this has happened. Though it’s kinda weird it’s happened twice man.”

Stanford Pines stood in the middle of Prismo’s time room, with the only other object in the room being a little waste basket with a miniature basketball hoop attached. The rest of Prismo’s room was a bright yellow, except for the pink of Prismo himself. Prismo looked to be nothing more than a shadow cast upon the entire room from a higher plane of existence. Honestly Ford wasn’t exactly sure what Prismo’s true form was, but odds were good he looked more impressive than his results did.

“Okay, explain to me why when I wish to be able to go back to my home dimension, a trash can appears.”

“Well, err… I’m not exactly sure why the waste basket appears. Perhaps your true home could be in the trash.”

Prismo didn’t seem to be very sure of what was going on, but he seemed to be attempting to lighten the mood judging by his tone. However the joke was as tasteless as one of Stanley’s used to be. It had been what 11 years or so since he’d last heard a joke from Stanley. Ford felt a kind of emptiness over this reflection, but he pushed down these feelings and tried to focus on the conversation.

Prismo looked at Ford noting Ford’s complete distaste towards the joke and resumed speaking. “Ok, I’m sorry, I guess that wasn’t that funny. Look I can try to explain as much as I can, but it might be a little long. You shouldn’t need to worry too much though, since it won’t take any time in any other dimensions, which is why it’s called my time room.”

Prismo took in a deep breath and began: “So as you are well aware, there are many different dimensions and timelines and universes in the multiverse, or multidimensional space, or whatever you want to call it. My powers are limited in that I can only alter certain dimensions that are within my domain. So if say someone from the Land of Ooo comes in and wishes that say the Lich never existed, I’d alter the universe for their wish, and insert them into their new Lich-free reality. Of course there can be plural universes for dimensions, so I only change or create the relevant universe. If someone comes in and wishes to go to another Dimension entirely, the new dimension needs to be within my circle of power for me to be able to get them there. Unfortunately yours is out of bounds. I don’t even know where you’re originally from. Theoretically you might never get back.”

“Well thanks for the hope.”

“I said theoretically. You do still have residual traces of your home dimension on you, so someone could track you by the trail you’ve been leaving as you journey around. In addition you might stumble back into your home dimension on accident. Future prediction is a nasty business Ford. You never know when something good or bad might happen. You can only guess the chances that it might happen.”

“What do I do now? I don’t even know how to leave this room.”

“Well all I said was that I couldn’t quite get you home, right?”

“Are you implying that you can get me closer to home?”

“Yep, I’ll even let it be on the house for you. That way you’ve still got one wish left.”

It looked like Ford wouldn’t be back as home as easily as he thought. At least a wish and a push in the right direction would be useful.

“So where will you send me exactly?”

“You followed a certain vector in the 4th dimensional plane. I believe that I can pinpoint it, and boom, I’ll send you right back in that direction. You’ll end up closer to where you left from, but that’s really the best I can do here.”

“Okay, So about that wish…”

[Chapter 4]

I'd say Wendy still misses Dipper, but hear aim is too good.

Winter for a Pine Tree

Disclaimer: Hey this gets dark real fast (0 to 60) and was written primarily to “Balance out the forces of the universe” After a friend of mine took a join project I’d been involved in and taken it off the rails into Wendip Territory (The stories ended up splitting into 2 stories written by two authors each instead of 1 story by 4). Anyways to balance out the force of the universe (and yes, I’m looking at you Graviti and Futur) I wrote this.

It gets dark so I tagged it as Depravity Falls, and spoiler alert, it involves death. So you’ve been forewarned.

Keep reading

Winter for a Pine Tree

Disclaimer: Hey this gets dark real fast (0 to 60) and was written primarily to “Balance out the forces of the universe” After a friend of mine took a join project I’d been involved in and taken it off the rails into Wendip Territory (The stories ended up splitting into 2 stories written by two authors each instead of 1 story by 4). Anyways to balance out the force of the universe (and yes, I’m looking at you Graviti and Futur) I wrote this.

It gets dark so I tagged it as Depravity Falls, and spoiler alert, it involves death. So you’ve been forewarned.

It had been three days since Dipper had last seen anyone in his family. The thought was still fresh in his mind as he hollered into his walkie talkie hoping for Mabel to respond. It had also been three days since he’d last eaten as his stomach was reminding him. And well somewhere nearby he could hear some of Bill’s monsters roaming around, possibly planning on eating him. Unfortunately for Dipper, he quickly recognized the creatures coming up behind him as eyebats. With them coming from behind him, his only option was to exit the alley he’d been hiding in and hope that there was a shelter he could hide in elsewhere.

Dipper made a break for it, and saw on the other side of the street the Gravity Falls mall, which fortunately was an indoor mall, so that’d likely slow down the eyebats. After a quick dash across the street, and having to ignore a very annoying monster, Dipper made it inside the mall without being eaten or turned to stone. The mall looked terrible, there was a huge hole in the skylight, the whole place had graffiti everywhere, and the carts, tables, and chairs were all over the place. Everything looked so ruined and abandoned. Except for a single table with a plate of nachos sitting on it under a working light.

Oh thank god Dipper thought, it felt like weeks since he’d last eaten, even if it’d only been a few days. Dipper forgot about almost everything as he ran towards those nachos in complete bliss over being able to eat again. He ran over and grabbed the nachos off the table. Then he noticed the wire that got pulled with the nachos. He didn’t even have to time to scream before he saw the shotgun fire.

The gun had been aimed to hit an adult in the lower crotch to upper leg area. Wendy had figured when she set it up it’d stop just about any attempted bandit or thug from getting to her, and teach them a good lesson too, hopefully without killing the target either. However Dipper was decidedly not the height of the average adult and had instead been shot right in the chest. He screamed out in pain as the power of the blast knocked him of his feet to the floor. He knew right away that regardless of what happened next, he couldn’t survive this. Even before weirdmaggedon his injury was enough to be fatal.

He heard footsteps run into the room and saw none other than Wendy run into the room. Dipper’s head was still ringing from the blast, and he couldn’t clearly hear what she was saying as she entered. She seemed to look pissed, was probably screaming, and had a crossbow drawn in her hand. He then saw as her anger quickly turned to confusion and then horror upon seeing him lying there. Wendy ran over to him obviously upset over something, but Dipper couldn’t make out the words. She was sobbing as she picked him up. The whole world was beginning to get fuzzy, and the pain was beginning to lessen. Dipper was beginning to feel really warm. Really warm and comfortable. Before he lost consciousness, he heard what Wendy was saying to him “I’m sorry Dipper. I’m so sorry.”

Dipper lay there and his last thoughts churned away at those words. He couldn’t make sense of what they meant. What was she sorry for? He really couldn’t remember anymore. His eyes felt heavy but he never built up the strength to close them. Wendy watched as the last signs of life left Dipper’s eyes.

Reblogging for future reference

Word Tracking Spreadsheets - These sheets also have sections for character and plot information.

Next Day Reblog

Dimension 52

(View the other chapters here [Chapter 1])

Chapter 2:

Another unexpected terrain… just as he’d predicted. Ford took a cursory glance around. At this point he was at dimension 4, and he still felt no closer to home. In fact, Ford felt like he’d managed to get further away this time. He stood in a forest full of white trees with pink leaves. Though the leaves were more similar to cotton in texture.

Keep reading

Dimension 52

(View the other chapters here [Chapter 1])

Chapter 2:

Another unexpected terrain... just as he’d predicted. Ford took a cursory glance around. At this point he was at dimension 4, and he still felt no closer to home. In fact, Ford felt like he’d managed to get further away this time. He stood in a forest full of white trees with pink leaves. Though the leaves were more similar to cotton in texture.

Ford scowled at his bad luck. At this point it seemed that with each random jump he made, he only got further and further away from home. He checked his log that he’d been recording the days on. “What! I’ve been gone for an entire YEAR now!”

Thinking back on this, it actually felt like he’d been gone for an even longer period of time than that. And yet despite all this time he spent wandering between dimensions, he was still hopelessly lost. “After all I’ve never seen any biology like this!”

“And it’s been a long time since I’ve seen biology like yours.” A sweet bubbly voice responded.

Ford turned around, he’d figured that he was alone initially, but he’d been so wrapped up in thought that he hadn’t noticed a figure approach him from behind. She was about Ford’s height level, and dressed entirely in pink. In fact she was entirely pink, excluding a golden crown with a bluish spherical gem sitting on her head. She looked fairly regal, with a long fancy pink dress, and long pink hair. If Ford had to guess her age, he’d say somewhere around her early twenties. She seemed to radiate kindness, however Ford knew that appearances could be deceiving. After all, he’d learned that the hard way recently.

“So will you tell me who you are?” She was pointing some kind of scanner at him, or at least that’s what he assumed it was.

“I’m just a traveler who’s a bit lost at the moment.”

“Oh, really?” She said with an icy tone. “Where are you from?”

“Oh it’s a bit far away from here, I doubt you’ve heard of it.”

“Yeah, I don’t think you’re from Ooo, or anywhere nearby.”

Ford didn’t know where this Ooo was, so he felt even more lost than before. He was positive that this lady didn’t trust him, and knew that this wouldn’t end well unless he could turn it around quickly. What was there to talk about that he could use as a diversion. He could ask about the trees, though that might not work, she seemed suspicious about him for his earlier comments. He could try asking about why she is pink, though that might be offensive. Or he could try asking about that device in her ha-

“Are you a human?”

Well that one cut him a quite off guard. Is this one of those dimensions where the sentient lifeforms EAT humans?! This could go real south real fast if it was. Then again, if it was she’d probably already have captured him. He supposed in this situation he could tell the truth without having to worry, at least not quite as much.

“Yes, I’m a human, and my name is Stanford Pines.”

“Greetings Stanford, I am Princess Bubblegum, ruler of the Candy Kingdom. Where do you come from?” Her tone had calmed down for a moment. However, when she asked where he was from the force was back in her voice.

So she was a princess? That would fit with her attire. He wondered if bubblegum was just a surname, if she was actually made of bubblegum, or both. After all, for all he knew these trees could be made of cotton candy. With a name like the Candy Kingdom, that was a fairly valid assumption to make.

Ford was pretty sure that Princess Bubblegum wouldn’t exactly know where he’s from. He’d have to dodge the question somehow.

“As I’m sure you know, I’m not from around here. So out of curiosity, are humans exceedingly rare around here?”

“Well yes, actually. You’re the first human I’ve seen in a long time. I thought that they’d gone extinct.”

“WHAT! REALLY!”

Despite Ford’s shock, he quickly realized that after all his traveling, he’d be bound to hit some kind of world without humans. He just didn’t expect to hit one where they’d died out only recently. He recovered fairly quickly, and followed up with another question.

“So what’s that thing you’re holding?”

She looked down at the device in her hands and then back at him. “Well it’s kind of a weirdness detector. Or at least that’s what I like to call it.”

Well that explained how she managed to find him. He must be setting that thing off like crazy. Of course the study of weirdness and other such similar sciences was Ford’s specialty.

“Oh well, how does it work? Does it detect residual traces of abnormal tachyon frequencies or spacetime ripples?”

From what Ford could tell he’d accomplished his goal of throwing her off her investigative trail. She hopefully wouldn’t push for any more information about where he was from until he was sure she either wouldn’t think he was crazy, or he knew that he could trust her.

“No, no, it actually works off of a fairly advanced simulation of realistic behavior using some complex equations I wrote and compares whether or not the simulation and the real world match.”

Ford could tell that he’d be able to have quite the interesting conversation with this woman.

“Why don’t you try using…”

“So you’re from another dimension?” Princess Bubblegum inquired.

They’d left the forest a while ago and were now sitting up in Bubblegum’s lab discussing Ford’s situation over cups of tea.

“Yes, and I’ve been trying to find my way home ever since. Do you know of any possible ways I could possibly try getting back to my dimension? I’d rather not hop randomly around on the offchance I end up in too hostile of a dimension.”

“Would you know how to find your dimension if we could open up a link? I know that in the land of Ooo there exist many powerful objects capable of opening a portal, but they all tend to be one-way.”

Ugh. Of course he can’t just take the simple way. They can potentially control where they open the portal too, but they can’t actually find which one is his.

“Sadly, no. I don’t know which dimension is mine so I’d just be back to square one.”

“Fortunately I’ve got a plan B. You see there’s a special dimensional room known as Prismo’s time room. Anyone who enters there can make a single wish. Of course be warned that his wishes all come with some form of twist or something so be very careful of what you wish for. I’m sure he’ll explain it to you if you just ask nicely.”

“Okay, so all I need to do is to properly phrase a wish to get back to my home dimension, and he’ll do it?”

“Yep. He’ll take care of the rest for you.”

“The challenge now is, how are we going to get there?”

“Leave that to me, I’ve got an idea of where an artifact is that can get you there.”

“When you said it was in a dungeon I thought it meant one of the ones in YOUR castle, NOT someone else’s rotting booby-trapped nightmare!” Ford yelled as he ducked beneath a swinging sword. He and Bubblegum had entered a dungeon hidden in a slightly less sweet forest nearby. He’d entered with pretty much just a stick in his hands, and she’d walked in with some kind of duffel bag. They’d been traveling deeper and deeper into the dungeon when they’d run into yet another group of walking skeletons. These ones had been guarding a hallway leading to a flight of stairs. Bubblegum had already defeated two of the three skeletons and Ford had been distracting the last one while she reloaded. She got in a blast with what she referred to as her “Ball-Blam-Burglerber.” Honestly Ford had no idea what the real name of it was, but he understood that it was basically some kind of grenade launcher.  Whatever it was he ducked out of the way as the ball exploded.

“Can you give me a warning when you’re about to fire that thing in my direction!?”

“Sorry about that. Here take this, it’ll make it easier on both of us if we’re equally armed.”

Ford picked up the weapon she’d tossed to him. It seemed to be some kind of gun but there was a plasma globe right where the barrel would normally be. He picked it up and followed her down the stairs to a new room in the dungeon. They came into a stone lined chamber that was seemingly empty except for a set of locked double doors sitting across the chamber from them. Bubblegum immediately set to work picking the lock.

“What exactly does this do?”

“It’s my electrode gun. I cranked up the charge, it should be able to fry what’s left of those skeletons.”

“Okay, and what about that artifact that we came here for?”

“The Traveler’s Stone? What about it?”

“How does it work?”

“I think you just pick it up or something. I’ve never used it before.”

“Well, I –“

Ford was cut off by the click of the lock. Princess Bubblegum pushed the doors open and in front of them stood about twenty skeletons. Bubblegum whipped out her Ball Blam Whatever, Ford pulled out his weapon and the two of them opened fire. They took down most of the initial skeletons and the few stragglers left behind were either finished off in hand-to-hand against Bubblegum or blasted by Ford.

“Whew- I really wish I knew how to fight like that. Might be useful if I can’t get home right away.” Even if he does then it still might be useful Ford thought. After all he could give his brother a nice right hook for what he did.

“I could teach you if you really wanted to learn. After all we have the Traveler’s Stone now, and we’ve got plenty of time on our hands.”

“I suppose I don’t have to leave quite yet.”

Princess Bubblegum hefted up the stone and threw it in her duffel bag.

“In that case, let’s head back to my castle. I can give you some basic  combat training along with some practice with my other weapons. Perhaps you can even design something of your own.”

As he walked out of the dungeon and back to the castle he had a chance to appreciate that for once in this entire ordeal he’d had a bit of good fortune.

…

[Chapter 3]

16

Post your follower count right now

525

hades isn’t a badass. hades named his three-headed-guard-of-the-underworld-dog spot. hades whispers to his flowers to make them grow. hades grows fruit. there’s no sun in the underworld.

hades isn’t a badass. stop saying this false thing

Many years ago I found ten symbols in a cave. Some I recognized then, some I only recognize now. The native people of Gravity Falls prophesied that these symbols could create a force strong enough to vanquish Bill.

I’m willing to bet it won’t be long before there’s fanfic recreations of points 12 and 14.

Some trivia, Alex told on BigFest today:

The way the crew usual way of coming up with a story was to think of some normal situation and then add something magical and crazy. “Sock Opera” was used as the example: first they came up with an idea of Mabel trying to impress her puppet-obsessed crush with puppet show, and then they began brainstorming weird things that might happen. Some of the earlier ideas included Mabel getting super-knitting powers and making living sweaters, and puppets coming alive and attacking Mabel (Alex even made a drawing of that).

Soos never tasted alcohol in his life. As for Stan… Well, there’s the reason his nose is this color.

There will be more about Ford’s (mis)adventures beyond the portal in the Journal. Alex couldn’t talk about it much, but he gave a little teaser: Ford was thrown into a dimension, that was controlled by Bill (or his lackeys); there, his top priorities were: 1) learn to survive, 2) make a weapon capable of destroying Bill; on his journeys Ford made many friends and even more enemies and eventually became an interdimensional criminal. There will be a wanted poster for Ford in the upcoming Journal (and even more “Rick and Morty” references)

The journal will also have more info on Ford’s & McGucket’s adventures during their youth.

One of the chapters in the upcoming choose-your-own-adventure book will reveal something important about Bill’s dying message.

Giffany is still alive, she managed to import here code somewhere, before her disc was destroyed. Again, more on that in the Journal.

Originally, Soos was supposed to go by his full name (Jesus), but Disney advised against it, thinking that some people would accuse the show of blasphemy. But the decision to give Soos shortened name backfired, since many people thought his name was “Zeus”.

Originally Bill didn’t have a surname, but Disney again advised against it, since they were afraid that people behind the character “Mr. Bill” might sue them for copyright infringement. So Alex came up with the name “Bill Black”, he thought it sounded cool and mysterious, but it turned out there was a some real guy with that name, and Disney was afraid he might sue them. All the other names Alex came up with were rejected for the same reason. Eventually, one late night, Alex was coming up with ciphers for the upcoming episode and thought “What if I just name him Cipher?”. The rest is history.

There was a scene in “Sock Opera”, that had to be cut for time, where Bill claimed, he was behind many great minds of the history, like, for example, helping Isaac Newton discover gravity and helping Stanley Kubrick fake the moon landing.

Bill can never go back to the place he came from. Alex also hinted that there may be more about his origins in the Journal, although not much, since Bill is the kind of character that benefits from being mysterious.

Dipper’s real name is NOT Michael, Alex, Mabel or Bill.

There was supposed to be a sub-plot in the finale, where clones #3 & 4 would try to kidnap Dipper and go back home with Mabel instead of him, but it was cut due to being too confusing.

Alex is talking with Disney about making some Gravity Falls comics, although nothing is concrete yet.

One of the ideas for the sixth “Mabel’s Guide” short was “Mabel’s Guide to Death”, in which her pet caterpillar gets eaten by a bird, and she talks about coping with death. The idea was rejected for being too morbid. The replacement idea - “Mabel’s Guide to Smiles” - was deemed offensive by Disney, since Mabel was going to visit local prison and try to teach inmates to smile. Although Alex might upload the storyboards for this rejected short online some day.

This hit way to close to home to me (I had a discussion with a friend of mine where I pointed out a small flaw in a headcannon with evidence from a single episode, but when called didn’t want to have to go searching and prove I was right like an asshole).

Being overly-familiar with a series is such a weird burden sometimes because like

you’ll see some theory being passed around that you instantly know is wrong. Like it’s surprising to see people supporting it because the flaws in its logic are so glaringly obvious. Until it hits you that, yeah it’s wrong, but only because you were able to immediately remember the 5 second conversation between two background characters 17 minutes through s2e13 that definitively disproves it. And no casual fan would have any reason to remember that off the top of their head and it’s you who’s the weird human encyclopedia with a shot-for-shot memory the entire damn series.

Like at that point you don’t even know anymore whether to argue your point or just…maybe go outside for a little bit.

Just a reblog for anyone who might have missed it. Also a shout-out to Iceguppie who’d helped proofread this.

Dimension 52

Disclaimer: This story is primarily designed as a story of Ford during his dimensional travels. It features him crossing over to other universes with those being the following (In no order whatsoever): Rick and Morty, Adventure Time, and Steven Universe. This list will probably expand, and might involve travel to AU’s.

Chapter 1:

Author’s notes:

This story takes place directly after Stanley and Stanford’s fight in 1982, where Ford is pushed through the portal. So as such, the story starts as Ford gets pulled through. Thank you for reading.

Keep reading