Man I Still Remember Back When I Was Optimistic And Witty. Used To Love Wordplay And Stupid Jokes. Did

everywhere i go everyone compliments me on the particle cannons i attached to my body. they say things like "those look effective against armored targets, and also very precise" and then i blush cutely and obliterate a scrap car

You know that state of mind where you can't sit still, nothing is at ease, and you feel like you need to your skin off? I recently gained the ability to enter that state at will.

HOW DO UNDO?

Now why do i feel the need to write this as an early 2000s romcom?

An asexual and an aromantic would make the worst odd couple imaginable.

Literally incapable of reconciling their differences or even feeling what the other person feels. They're good friends but neither of them understand the context clues the other is sending. One is always screwing the neighbors and the other is constantly confused when their attempts to romance a brick wall bear no fruits.

Easily the worst fucking sitcom possible. Every single scene is uncomfortable. None of the jokes land. nothing ever gets resolved. "But at least normal people would understand ace/aero better as a result", the marketing team pitches! Only to find out that the sitcom actually makes people understand them worse.

Runs a good first season and is immediately canceled with a cliffhanger ending

why the fuck does my mother move so much of my stuff it's always "I WOULD MOVE THAT SO YOU DONT LOSE IT" and then she moves it and i can't fucking FIND IT where the FUCK is my PEN FOR My TABLET

I am out of nerds

how many nerds do i have to shove up my ass before i see god?

I mean by the time they were done with him he was planted in the ground like a tuber, and he was braindead, so the entire thing is technically a vegetable

A proper salad consists of three divine components:

ingredience (vegitable of all kin)

indulgence (dressing, oil, salt, croutons, cheese, etc)

violence (chopp and shred that shit asunder)

slamming the big red button on my desk labeled "bweh" over and over again to no discernible effect

im as horny as i am depressed

i can't stop thinking about girlcock 😭

Since somehow this website is less of a cesspool than twitter even with 90% of its userbase gone and there is literally no other social media platform actually suited to posting completely random thoughts with zero refrain I dug out this 10 year old account to do exactly that.

Declare a thumb war then in the middle of teh thumbwar pull them in and KISS THEM