Now Why Do I Feel The Need To Write This As An Early 2000s Romcom?

i can't stop thinking about girlcock 😭

I have no idea what this lettuce is doing here but the rest is cute.

https://www.instagram.com/sotce?igsh=MThjMTAwOGFrZnU1Mg==

the sudden urge to put on mouse ears and a maid outfit so you can go around making mouse based puns while cleaning the house

"Mouse-keeping!" "Cheesed to meet you! Have I seen you before?" "This one's on the mouse!" "I'll leave it squeaky clean!" "Mice to see you!"

I'll be adding more as I think of them, I'm hoping to create an encyclopedia of mouse puns.

It only took me 4 months to do step 1.

a ukulele and a revolver with one bullet in it played with a massive grin.

why the fuck does my mother move so much of my stuff it's always "I WOULD MOVE THAT SO YOU DONT LOSE IT" and then she moves it and i can't fucking FIND IT where the FUCK is my PEN FOR My TABLET

I reblog ONE transformers thing as a joke and suddenly half my feed is shipping Transformers characters together WHY IS TUMBLR LIKE THIS

its a moral obligation to kiss boymoders and call them cute girly names until they HATCHf

A MORAL OBLIGATION!

I remember the before times. They feel like a distant dream.

internet politics and real-world politics have gotten so separated, and pretty soon all this internet weirdness is gonna come crashing into real life and politicians are gonna start throwing around words like “SJW” and “anime communist” and “dark enlightenment” and it’s just gonna be the most ridiculous fucking thing

pretty sure water is gay. straight people can't swim they have to walk along the bottom of the ocean in a void.

Imagine going to take a shower and the water just dodges you, and not being able to tell whether you are hydrophobic or if the water has become homophobic.