Declare A Thumb War Then In The Middle Of Teh Thumbwar Pull Them In And KISS THEM

Allow me to ruin this by telling you hawk tua is a girl from a 10 year old vine who got famous by making a joke about how to properly give head hence the name "hawk tua". I'm returning the dissatisfaction i got from being told i live under a rock then memesplained to only to find out that that the meme is in fact almost a decade old and completely unfunny, you're welcome.

the joy I get by not understanding new popular stuff is one of my favorite feelings. I'm so happy I will never understand who hawk tua is, and I'm really happy with that outcome.

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I really wish I wasn't living through a major historical event right now.

Journalists interrupt and berate Blinken on Gaza policy.

Several journalists who are outspoken critics of US support for Israel loudly lambasted US Secretary of State Antony Blinken over the war on Gaza on Thursday, repeatedly interrupting his final press conference as he sought to defend his handling of the 15-month-old war.

“Criminal! Why aren’t you in The Hague,” shouted Sam Husseini, an independent journalist and longtime critic of Washington’s approach to the world, before being physically dragged outside of the briefing room.

“Why did you keep the bombs flowing when we had a deal in May?” Max Blumenthal, editor of the Grayzone, an outlet that strongly criticizes many aspects of US foreign policy, called out to Blinken before being escorted out.

(source)

isopods are fucking beautiful creatures i love them they're SO GREAT PLEASE KILL ME

Transopoid!!!! !

Is there like a cure for constantly being horny?

It's been -78 days since the last day i didn't randomly think about gay sex and that's only if you count the day i realized i didn't think about gay sex which is still technically thinking about gay sex. If you don't I have no clue what it's like to not have your thoughts filled with AGGRESSIVE GAYNESS.

Maple syrup

What are some genderfluid alternatives to ranch?

The best part about cleaning out your office is finding all the random post its and not remembering a single thing about why any of it was ever written down. My head is pounding, I'm dizzy, and I'm sitting here staring at a barely legible post it wondering what the fuck does Center of my soul have to do with Schelling's Theory of Rational Deterrence and why they're on the same post it as a grocery list containing the single item of ramen noodles.

"The next time you observe an American robin in your yard, notice how they curiously tilt their heads. They do this to listen for juicy worms."

wake up babe the robins can hear your brainworms and they're after you

how many nerds do i have to shove up my ass before i see god?

I wonder if there's someone out there whose thing is that literally all they want out of life is to be sucked into a jet engine and no one knows.

No one knows he's sitting in a padded cell waiting for his moment in life. Biding his time until the day he can walk out of that room, hop the fence of an airport then immediately get sucked into a GE90 turbo fan. T-posing in an inward draft before he's ground into dust, vaporized and shot out the back at as a molten human jet stream, shining brighter than any man ever could in that brief moment where man and machine intersect. No one will know who he is. No one will know why he did it. They will blame his captors for failing to prevent him from attaining his lifelong dream. No one understood him. No one ever will. They won't even know that his valiant sacrifice will save three-hundred sixty passengers and the Boeing 777's entire crew from a grisly demise by preventing a plane with an undiscovered engine malfunction from taking off. All for the low low price of spraying the runway with a fine red mist and permanently traumatizing the child sitting in seat number 16A.