drrobctnik

Latest Posts by drrobctnik

Jeanette Winterson, Gut Symmetries

fyi i do not “crush” i experience violent, all-consuming devotion and yearning that leaves me physically ill

"How can you like these very toxic and horrible characters that have done despicable and unforgivable things?" oh it's quite simple actually, this is fiction and I think with my dick.

Cathy Linh Che, from Go Forget your father//Friedrich Nietzsche// Richey Edwards// // Moss Angel, Girldirt Angelfog// Rainer Maria Rilke, Fragment of an Elegy,// Leila Miccolis, till death do us part.

jaw threatened to flex and twist in the irritation rising from being asked. shame and pride broiled in his chest. through it all julius keeps that smile up, because that's all he's ever known. smile through the agony, the negatives - your feelings and needs and wants don't matter.

"no. everything's fine." what good would telling roman do anyway? as if roman could fix things.

@blckfckinmsk [!!]

· 𓂃 ࣪˖🔪 ˖ ࣪𓂂 . "Why punish someone without reason?"

it was a terribly naive and oddly sentimental statement. one that julius could scarcely comprehend - let alone agree with. he has to bite back the scoff that catches behind teeth. instead, julius flashes a practiced & eased smile.

"if only the world agreed with you, roro. we might be in a better off place." as it stood - being fired from his job, pending acceptance into G.U.N - julius felt a tad, bitter. maybe that was why he had brought up the topic to begin with. of course roman knew none of this: julius saw no point in sharing such developments with roman.

👀

"no." the speed and sharpness with which julius answered that question. he didn't hesitate. an eyebrow rose in criticism, "am I supposed to? why? sentimentality? nostalgia?"

@blckfckinmsk [!!]

· 𓂃 ࣪˖🔪 ˖ ࣪𓂂 . "Why punish someone without reason?"

it was a terribly naive and oddly sentimental statement. one that julius could scarcely comprehend - let alone agree with. he has to bite back the scoff that catches behind teeth. instead, julius flashes a practiced & eased smile.

"if only the world agreed with you, roro. we might be in a better off place." as it stood - being fired from his job, pending acceptance into G.U.N - julius felt a tad, bitter. maybe that was why he had brought up the topic to begin with. of course roman knew none of this: julius saw no point in sharing such developments with roman.

“these characters should be mentally healthy before they get together 😌” ummm no I actually think we should smash their mental illnesses together like clumps of play-doh and see what colors it makes

&. 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝟐 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  dialogue prompts taken from the silent hill 2 remake, developed by bloober team. trigger warning for dark themes. feel free to change as you seem fit. )

❛ in my restless dreams, i see that town. ❜

❛ hey, it's okay. i didn't mean to scare you. ❜

❛ i'm kind of lost. ❜

❛ i guess i don't really care if it's dangerous or not. i'm going either way. ❜

❛ what happened to this town? ❜

❛ whatever it is, it's not human. ❜

❛ i didn't do anything! he was like that when i got here. ❜

❛ you wanna come with? maybe together we can find a way out of this town. ❜

❛ sorry, but i can't leave. not yet. ❜

❛ are you afraid? ❜

❛ did you find the person that you were looking for? ❜

❛ don't worry, i'm not crazy. least, i don't think so. ❜

❛ should i go with you? this town really is dangerous. ❜

❛ what's a big dumb-dumb like you doing here anyway? ❜

❛ hey, that's not very nice. didn't your parents teach you any manners? ❜

❛ do i look like your girlfriend? ❜

❛ i can't believe it. your face, your voice... you could be— ❜

❛ i don't look like a ghost, do i? see? warm. ❜

❛ i can show you if you want. unless you have somewhere else to be? something else to do? ❜

❛ hey, easy there. i'm just messing with you. ❜

❛ you're coming with me? can't you just tell me where it is? ❜

❛ what, you were just gonna leave me here? alone? with all these monsters around? ❜

❛ is it because i remind you of... her? ❜

❛ this place we're going to, what is it, exactly? ❜

❛ you ever stay in a place like this? the walls are so thin you can hear everything. love, hate, jealousy... ❜

❛ i think you just saved my life back there. ❜

❛ hey. you think i'd look good in this one? ❜

❛ this room... there's something wrong with it. i think we should leave. ❜

❛ oh, loosen up. it sure beats running around with those monsters out there. ❜

❛ what will you tell her if... when you find her? ❜

❛ oh, c'mon. don't give me that look. i was just kidding. ❜

❛ can we stay? just for a little while? ❜

❛ this place, this whole thing, it's like a nightmare. i just wanted to get away from it, even for a second. ❜

❛ here. something to take the edge off. ❜

❛ we should probably get going. ❜

❛ we could come back later, if you want. you know, in case we need a break. ❜

❛ i wanted to ask you... what if you can't find [ name ]? what will you do? ❜

❛ thanks for checking up on me. it's very sweet of you. ❜

❛ how do you know my name? ❜

❛ i'm sorry, but i can't let you just run around this place. you might get hurt. ❜

❛ please open the door. there's something in here. ❜

❛ i was almost killed back there! i've never been so scared in my whole life! ❜

❛ all you care about is that dead wife of yours. ❜

❛ you couldn't care less about me, could you? ❜

❛ stay with me. don't leave me alone again. you're supposed to take care of me. ❜

❛ i don't know, for some reason i feel like it's up to me to protect her. ❜

❛ well, whaddaya know... a stroll in the rain. how romantic. ❜

❛ i'm trying to keep things light. just humor me, okay? ❜

❛ you think you could give me a hand? ❜

❛ you're supposed to be the big man around here. how's a little girl like me supposed to help? ❜

❛ what's wrong? i thought you wanted to get out of here. ❜

❛ this place is different from what i remember. i guess... things never really stay the same, do they? ❜

❛ you... still don't want me to go with you? if we stick together, we just might make it out of here. ❜

❛ ain't no big deal. just put the gun to their head and... pow! ❜

❛ you can't just kill someone 'cause of the way they looked at you. ❜

❛ please. i'll be good. i promise. ❜

❛ it's always the same with you. you're only after one thing. ❜

❛ i don't know who you think i am, but i don't want to hurt you. ❜

❛ i thought that thing killed you...! are you hurt? ❜

❛ but that thing... it stabbed you. there was blood everywhere. ❜

❛ stabbed me? what do you mean? ❜

❛ honey... did something happen to you? ❜

❛ are you confusing me with someone else? ❜

❛ you said you took everything. but you forgot the videotape we made. ❜

❛ it doesn't matter who i am. i'm here for you. ❜

❛ see? i'm real. ❜

❛ don't you want to touch me? ❜

❛ i'll come back, i promise. ❜

❛ how many times do i have to kill you? ❜

❛ it doesn't matter if you're smart, dumb, ugly, pretty... it's all the same once you're dead! ❜

❛ you wanna talk down to me some more? tell me to relax? ❜

❛ you know i'll find you! ❜

❛ guess i deserved it, huh? the fartface that i am. ❜

❛ you got any other things planned? i think i saw a dark room back there you could lock me up in. ❜

❛ where are you? i'm waiting for you. please, come to me. ❜

❛ i think you were right. what we're looking for... it's not here. ❜

❛ thank you for helping me earlier... but i wish you hadn't. ❜

❛ i know what you are. i know why i needed you. but it's all over now. i don't need you anymore. ❜

❛ it'd be easier if they just killed me. ❜

❛ why are you still here? i told you to go. ❜

❛ wait! please don't go. don't leave me alone. i didn't mean what i said. ❜

❛ please... tell me i'll be okay. ❜

❛ i'm here for you. so what if i'm not her? ❜

❛ i can give you what she never could. i can be better than her. ❜

❛ what else do you want me to be? ❜

❛ i won't let you do this to me. i won't let you go. ❜

❛ the truth is, i hated you. ❜

❛ i wanted my life back. ❜

❛ i tried. i really did. but... i just... can't go on without you. ❜

❛ i can't forgive myself for what i've done. ❜

❛ i want you to go on. i want you to live. for yourself and for others. ❜

❛ you made me happy. ❜

Commission finished for my mutuals and their wonderful AU.

[txt:] surprised to hear what?

[txt:] erm, nothing really?

[txt:] well maybe some things.

[txt:] i don't know i've never been asked that before.

[txt]: surprised to hear that. [txt]: so what else about you is old schooled too then?

he's tugged, led really. eyes flicked down, blurred and blackened around the edges. like straws narrowed in and zoomed in on the fact that the hand was still gripped onto his jacket. oh. no one had ever done that before. why was that so...? why was julius so focused in on that? he couldn't look away from that hand on his jacket, to the point where he did bump into him when they stopped abruptly.

julius stumbled back a step, muttering a quickly, flustered and spluttered, "er, s-sorry! i didn't mean to bump into you," finally tears his eyes away in order to look at the place. his eyes widened, a sucked in stuck breath at the sight. glory that had to be the fanciest looking building he's ever seen. "whoa." decent? julius wasn't sure his wallet could afford it from just looking at the building alone.

· 𓂃 ࣪˖🔪 ˖ ࣪𓂂 . "Mhmmm," hummed back before giving Julius' jacket a tug for him to follow. "There's this place just down the block." Assured as he makes his way down pavement, still not letting go of the other's jacket as he lead to the shop. Just to abruptly stop in front of the place so that they intentionally bump into one another. "Here. It's not the best place, but it's decent." They're in the nicer part of Gotham after all, so decent is good really. He's just a bit spoiled.

[txt:] haha er, nothing?

[txt:] i just, haven't had anyone to text before, really.

[txt:] i'm kinda old school like that??

[txt]: really? [txt]: what's wrong with you? [txt]: jk

how to get rid of horrible and traumatic mental imagery and memories without literally turning to lethal levels of substance abuse

@blckfckinmsk

[txt:] hey.

[txt:] sorry i don't really text very much

[txt:] lol

you're not? that's a shame. immediately, a blush rises onto julius' expression, eyes widening a fraction in stunned surprise. o-oh. he clears his throat again as the pretty blonde stands up sharply, agreeing to the coffee. at that, julius flashes a soft, bright smile, "oh that's great. er, is there a shop nearby that you want to go to?" julius didn't quite know the area - newer to gotham - and he figured that it be better to let this guy take the reigns, lead.

· 𓂃 ࣪˖🔪 ˖ ࣪𓂂 . Head raises from magazine he was sifting through when he hears voice and eyes are quick to assess the other man in front of him. Nice face, he looks tall too. Body leans back fully in seat as he remained silent with ramblings, faint smirk on his face the entire time. "You're not? That's a shame." Said offhandedly before abruptly standing. A hand ran through hair to push a few strands out of his face. "'kay, I can go for a coffee. I wasn't waiting for anyone by the way."

[gun shot]

Came because my interest was piqued seeing you on my dash. Stayed because of your unique portrayal and amazing in depth characterization of the character you've brought to the table. Letting the villain be a villain. The amazing lore behind the character really has me coming back to read it over and over again. Also the mun , ive had nothing but amazing interactions with too.

thank you once again kris, your words never fail to leave me pleasantly stunned and smiling like a doofus.

i'm glad you find julius' lore amazing, that really touches my heart. at times i wonder if maybe i'm doing 'too much' with his backstory & his powers. but then i remember this is my blog & i make the rules dammit. it really reaffirms my thoughts to know that other people also enjoy his lore and his abilities. >w<

as always, i enjoy our convos. looking forward to chatting more via discord with ya. ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

came for the character, stayed for the unique interpretation that always has me interested to know more on your take, and the great writing!

oh wow, this was so kind of you to say!!

by all means if you ever want to know more about julius' character, or my take on him, please feel free to send in headcanon asks!! even unprompted. tbh with how julius is as a character - reserved, secretive, and overall just not very sociable - i can't really truly seeing him divulging much personal information readily. so the only true way to really get to know the meat & potatoes of his character & my interpretation is through headcanons!!

thank you for complimenting my writing, that truly means a lot to hear coming from you, since you're a fantastic writer yourself!! ⋆˙⟡♡

Mads Mikkelsen for the fc thing ( specifically early Hannibal seasons. )

because of personal reasons, i can't really see this!! i relate mads mikkelsen & hannibal as a whole with someone else, so trying to apply him to julius just doesn't gel with me. early hannibal is a bit too calm for julius anyway, for as much as julius can try to hold himself together, he isn't actually that well put together.

"unrepentant" is one of my favorite things to be. "don't you feel bad about what you did" no lol

MUN VS. MUSE. How to Play: Compare yourself to your muse. Then tag your mutuals to do the same.

LOW: ○○○○○ | HIGH: ●●●●● Repost, don’t reblog!

NAME. Mun: Wilhelm Muse: Julius

AGE. Mun: 34 Muse: technically immortal/ageless, appears 31ish.

PRONOUNS. Mun: He/They Muse: He/Him

HEIGHT. Mun: 5'2" Muse: 6'3"

RESPONSIBILITY. Mun: ●●●○○ Muse: ○○○○○

SOCIABILITY. Mun: ●○○○○ Muse: ○○○○○

SENSITIVITY. Mun: ●●●●○ Muse: ●●●●●

GENEROSITY. Mun: ●●●○○ Muse: ○○○○○

MODESTY. Mun: ●●●○○ Muse: ○○○○○

KINDNESS. Mun: ●●●○○ Muse: ○○○○○

PHYSICAL STRENGTH. Mun: ○○○○○ Muse: ●●●●●

CARING. Mun: ●●○○○ Muse: ○○○○○

CURIOSITY. Mun: ●●○○○ Muse: ●●●●●

IRRITABILITY. Mun: ●●●●● Muse: ●●●●●

TOUCHINESS. Mun: ●○○○○ Muse: ●●●●○

LAZINESS. Mun: ●●●●● Muse: ●●○○○

ANXIETY. Mun: ●●●●○ Muse: ●●●●●

SELF-DISCIPLINE. Mun: ●●○○○ Muse: ●●●●●

TAGGED BY: @maaskuline !! TAGGING: whoever wants to.

PSA: WHAT IS BLOCKING?

Blocking is;

A way to not see a particular user & their posts

A way to cultivate your space

A way to avoid conflict

Blocking ISN'T;

Inherently selfish & immature

Something you need an explanation for

'An awful thing to do to someone'

There's this odd movement of people trying to de-normalize blocking users. Trying to hide behind excuses such as "you need to communicate with your partners, it's immature to block someone out of the blue" and... No??? No. More likely than not, people who tend to get blocked the most by users are strangers they don't vibe with or rp partners they didn't even interact with that they no longer see themselves interacting with for any reason. More people need to see it as a red flag when people get super genuinely upset when one of the billions of people on the internet block them "out of the blue". If you cannot handle being blocked online, whether it's someone you apparently know, or some random who might've just fat fingered the block button and doesn't even know you exist, you shouldn't be online. Are there freak scenarios where someone shouldn't block someone? Maybe, but people should prioritize their mental health and simply block someone instead of engaging with someone out of obligation. This is a hobby, I can click what button I please. Not to say people will block their mutuals willy-nilly or you should be walking on eggshells, but it's time to stop viewing blocking someone as a "bad thing" or a "last resort".

PSA

If you ever see someone who writes a character you love and they write them well… tell them. Like someone’s writing? Tell them. Like the way someone’s muse is being portrayed? Tell them. Do you enjoy a muses’ head canons? Tell them. Do you enjoy seeing someone’s creativity and writing on your dashboard? Tell them. Do you enjoy seeing someone on your dashboard no matter what? Tell them

—

More often not, it is really appreciated when someone hears things about their writing and makes them feel appreciated. A simple message can have such a lasting impact and turn someone’s day around. Speak now, spread love.

man this guy is my favourite character (throws rocks at him) (throws rocks at him) (throws rocks at him) (throws rocks at him (thr

"as can i," he motions with a slight grand sweep of his arm, "& yet here we are."

quiets as he lets the echidna stew on his former question. honestly julius doesn't expect an actual response. at most he figures the echidna will dismiss him or laugh outright in his face. tell him it's none of his business. julius knows it's what he would have done.

colour him surprised when the warrior actually opts for honesty, vulnerability. hmph. he respects that. enough not to mock him. it'd be easy to do, but julius refrains.

"for whatever it is worth to you, i am sorry for your losses. losing a family is one thing, but an entire tribe? i can't begin to fathom that. so while i can't say i completely understand your," he motions to the broken pipe, "peculiar way of dealing with problems. i won't chastise you for it, from this point onward. unless you piss me off."

@drrobctnik xxx

a sputtered clipped laugh punches out of him immediately at the echidna's confession about the 'fixed' phone. ah yes, of course. how stupid of julius to think elsewise.

"you do realize you can stop and think before resorting to brute strength, yes?" how hypocritical of julius to say. especially considering whenever he did lose his composure and his calm, julius would be the first to resort to and praise violent or physical methods. that being said, julius drew the line at trying to 'fix' menial tasks using sheer strength alone. even he wasn't that desperate to resort to such violence. he wasn't some mindless barbarian. "i know you are not that daft, echidna. what is the real reason you want to constantly 'fix' things using only your fists alone? what is it, some nonsense about fear of not being acceptable enough or worthy enough if you're not the strongest of the bunch?"

He fails to see what's funny about malfunctioning devices, particularly those that are the creations of humans- a tribe which the man hails from. Perhaps this is a case of laughing at oneself? Humility doesn't suite the other well. Not even the slightest.

The suggestion is met with a short puff that seems to fuel the trajectory of his gaze as it rolls. Advice. Like he asked for it! "I can think...of better ways to spend the time."

He's adjusting the cuffs of his boxing gloves when his critic based company continues to pry into nothing more than an instinct on his part, but he's annoyed enough by the fact the man probably thinks that's all it boils down to even though he'd blindly agree with his short fused patience. Glove creaking as he squeezes the tension out of one, he shakes his head with the intent of knocking the dreaded quills falling cross his gaze back. "It is all I had. Relied on. Since I lost everything."

A response like rumbling thunder despite how plain of an answer it is. There is nothing more to say about something so clear cut. So he does not.

I didn’t miss that social cue I just thought it was stupid 

they hate me for finding romance in the violent & violence in the romantic. also for the killing

a sputtered clipped laugh punches out of him immediately at the echidna's confession about the 'fixed' phone. ah yes, of course. how stupid of julius to think elsewise.

"you do realize you can stop and think before resorting to brute strength, yes?" how hypocritical of julius to say. especially considering whenever he did lose his composure and his calm, julius would be the first to resort to and praise violent or physical methods.

that being said, julius drew the line at trying to 'fix' menial tasks using sheer strength alone. even he wasn't that desperate to resort to such violence. he wasn't some mindless barbarian.

"i know you are not that daft, echidna. what is the real reason you want to constantly 'fix' things using only your fists alone? what is it, some nonsense about fear of not being acceptable enough or worthy enough if you're not the strongest of the bunch?"

"My actions speak for themselves." What they say is a series of clunking hisses from where he's punched through a steam pipe in order to 'fix' a leak.

he's wordlessly staring at the destroyed pipe. eyebrows pinch together and his gaze narrowed behind sunglasses. seems to be weighing his options on whether he wants to deal with whatever moronic conversation will stem from this.

a heavy weighted sigh that bleeds into his words, sounding deadpanned and tired, "do i want to know what the fuck inspired you to try and fix this instead of calling an actual service."

no anon idc idc 😶‍🌫️

wilhelm it has been such an utter delight to reconnect with you and julius again. i've had so much fun writing our characters and just talking with you and everything that it entails. i've missed you more than i can ever say, and i really dont know what else to say that i havent said already. it's just been so nice having you back in my life, and i wouldn't trade you for anything or anyone. i look forward to what the future has in store for us both, and i hope you stay a continuous part of it. you're a piece of me i didnt know i was missing, tbh.

no joke i legitimately teared up reading this ask.

the only thing that could separate me from you is death, quite frankly. i couldn't ever see myself wanting to leave you. you're a piece of me i didn't know i was missing either. i feel like we just clicked and slotted into place with one another.

of course we've our differences, but i'm pretty sure that's to be expected of people because no one's ever going to fully understand another person without slip ups or misunderstandings, miscommunications. it's the human experience. i'll always strive to hear you, to understand you, even if it takes me time to do so. you've always been worth that. you'll always be worth that.

i'd never trade you for anyone or anything else either. you're the hannibal to my will. the kirk to my spock. for risk of sounding cheesy and sappy, i feel like you complete me in a way that i've never encountered before and that's so invigorating as much as it is scary (not b/c of you, but experiences in life have made me, weary at points).

thank you for existing. thank you for all you've done, whether it's things that've made me smile or the steps we've taken even if it's been a bit tough for both of us. all of it just means that our bond has grown stronger and we're closer because of it. i'll never regret a moment i've spoken to you, negative or not.

you mean too much to me. i'd never regret you. no matter what.