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Wizardposting - Blog Posts
Y'all, imagine how incredible it would be to be both a writer AND a necromancer. You can just telepathically write your books. And not just that! Imagine the efficiency!
Skeleton number one, write this cool plot I have in my head! Skeleton number two, make a tumblr post about how cool it is to be both a writer AND a necromancer!
It got real quite at the wizard party last night after I cast Ralph's slimy goblin
WIZARDS!!!
If you like casting *Flesh to Stone*
Then you will surely love *Stone to Flesh*
Give life to a cliff today!
Everyone who plays around with Tarot cards long enough winds up with a “bad” card that they love. I just barely persuaded my husband not to get the Ten of Swords tattooed on his body; traditionally, it shows a corpse with ten swords stuck in their body and means “utter ruin,” but he thought that if it took ten swords to kill you, then you must have put up a pretty good fight.
honestly this is the most badass ten of swords interpretation i've ever heard. i'm stealing this
the groundhog reportedly saw "a blood red sun. in the foreground a massive wheel framing the sun in the sky. the wheel has ceased to turn". nobody is sure what this means but its probably fine
o woe þe great metal beast hast fallen!
Ice Storm ~ Montreal, Quebec, Canada 1998
ugh, was it good? I got stuck when my homunculus started self replicating at incredible speed.
DJ sinister vizier has started playing his mixtape of insidious manipulation for the king
hadn't even seen all the options yet and immediately thought "pageboy", so its good to see we're all on the same page
Everything would be so much easier if i didnt have the curse :(
As a matter of fact...
A well-known fixture of the Arcanokinetics department of the College of Arcana at the University of Celestial Secrets is a stuffed plush rabbit, of the kind colloquially called a "bunny friend," the Haradine cultural equivalent of a Teddy bear.
It sits - or rather, slumps - on a plinth in the middle of the main lecture hall, and is used as a demonstration and practice target for spells. Many, many spells. It is patched and fraying and threadbare and stained, and has a small embroidered College of Arcana emblem sewn to its chest where a Reader would have his badge. All and sundry call it "M'lord Bun," and address it and refer to it as if it were a fiefholding lord and member of the faculty.
M'lord Bun is occasionally repaired or reverted, from his many misadventures, by members of the Temporal department of the College. Only very rarely is he mended in the mundane fashion by skilled service staff.
The Lord Bun legend has grown over the centuries, to the point, in the 5th age, which the various funerals and "retirements" of unrecoverable Lord Buns are important historical landmarks in College lore, and M'lord Bun is now a senior member of the faculty, and officiates over certain ceremonies (notably the Japery in mid-March), and often joins the Deans in their viewing box or at high table for special occasions. A chain of office is nowadays embroidered around M'lord Bun's fluffy neck.
It is not strictly true that the Wizard Brismeister was given a Dire Notice of Censure for beheading Lord Bun in year 197 of the Fourth Age. The stated reason was, in fact, for "failing to maintain the decorum required of his position." Brismeister never again read arcanokinesis, or any other subject, at the University, despite remaining a Senior Reader of Arcana, and he resigned from his post in 201. His eponymized Whirling Blade spell, although adopted immediately at Sloeberries, was not taught at Celestial until 210.
Upon Lord Bun's magical beheading, the students in attendance declared him dead on the spot, and petitioned the Master to appoint a new Lord. That was the origin of the current M'lord Bun, who has greeted the arrival of the so-called Fifth Age with characteristic inscrutability.
Less magic schools. More magic universities. Unlearn the simplified models of your secondary education. Discover how to reference scrolls written by a wizard possessed by a different wizard. Identify bias in the voices that whisper from beyond the veil. Have your institution be accused of promoting a Merlinist agenda. Become addicted to energy potions.
WIZARD WRAPPED
You casted 1,039,627 spells this year
You pondered your orb for 985 hours
You targeted 109 spells at someone other than yourself - that’s in the top 6% of wizards!
You gained 5 familiars
Your favorite focus for spellcasting this year was a staff
Your cup size is H
Your most cast spell was Spontaneous Snack Generation and you used it 576 times this year.
Your most summoned object was Ketamine Ape at 69 summons
You trapped someone within an amulet for 10,000 years
You were unwittingly haunted by the evil skull twice
you can escape just cut your stomach open with a knife 👍
trust me
This Flesh Prison cannot hold me.
maybe the real black magic was the medications we picked up along the way (draining my body of its everyday uses until I get stronger but just you wait)
Just found some old pictures of the wands my mum and I made for a Fantastic Beasts event at the college LRC (library) where I used to work.
We made them out of newspaper, toilet roll, PVA glue, acrylic paint, beads and plastic gems, and a glue gun.
These were hidden around the LRC and students would hunt for them every day for about two weeks until they found them all. Those that found them got to take them home and we also had some other activities to promote some of our Harry Potter audiobooks, ebooks and physical books and movies.
Bonus points to whoever spots the atrocious spelling mistake I made on the promotional material. Had to remember where we hid them all so I could break out the tipex
Edit: I Would like to mention as an afterthought, I am in no way in support of She Who Must Not Be Named (aka JK Rowling's) personal opinions regarding trans people. In my opinion she has turned into a vial and loathsome individual who has thoroughly tarnished my love of the fictional world she created. Her actions are pointlessly decisive, and harmful to cis and trans women alike.
Though the fanfic + fanart and the diverse community which created it and enriched that world is still incredibly dear to me. Even though I was never an active member (beyond, reading, giving kudos where it was due and occasionally commenting) I still felt like I was part of a friendly welcoming community full of talented (& not so talented), inspiring individuals.
If you are trans then please know that I support you. What is going down at the moment is utter bull. It might not feel like it sometimes, but people are on your side.
Shall we clean the circles, boss?
May the relentless forces of misfortune, calamity, and cosmic inconvenience conspire in perfect harmony to ensure that every conceivable stroke of bad luck, misstep, and catastrophic failure finds its way to you with unerring precision and unwavering persistence.
hey
Oh to be a sleep deprived wizard twink, in my tower in the mountains, gazing at the beautiful young prince in the valley below. Through my telescope wishing I could be there with him putting a crown of flowers upon his soft curly hair. alas this can be but a dream.
"Well we're here now, so what do you think?"
"The script is all wrong. It's in a first era type when it should be second. The curvature of those lines make it ever so slightly oblong, and over here you can see where they corrected but you'll still have instability. I wish you hadn't brought me here."
"You're the only one I know that could tell me all that!"
"Yeah, and a picture would've been fine too. This thing could blow at any minute! I'm not equipped for demon hunting, especially the unbound sort this sloppy work will bring!"
"Shit."
"Shit, indeed."
Prompt #1181
"I feel like this is one of those things you should have told me earlier."