Experience Tumblr like never before
Many people seem to think that the Sober Friend, the one who doesn’t party, but will come get you and fix you up misses out on some fundamental aspects of the college experience. And yet in looking back I believe I got to experience some of the highlights of being drunk and/or high without the expense of the traditional substances. Then again, there were still the health services fees and engineering textbooks cost more than boose so...?
1. Master of Vomiting.
Yep...Noro. I can vomit while practically laying down on the toilet. The trick is to strangle the piping. I’m also quite skilled at running while nauseated and, knock on wood, haven’t missed the toilet yet.
2. Waking up on the floor + awkward interactions with someone I barely know.
Whatever you do, don’t take a shower when you’re severely dehydrated.
3. Inability to walk a line
Albuterol after I had the flu
4. Memory Loss
Severe sleep deprivation will do that.
5. Bloodshot eyes
Sleep is for people who don’t have a major statics project and circuits and a thermo exam due the same day.
6. Anti-skunk smell procedures
The people across from me didn’t have to wash their laundry but I wasn’t about to get suspended for their lack of caution and found myself freebreeze-ing my room with the best of em’.
7. The munchies
No excuse for this one. Three weeks four boxes of marshmallow fruit loops.