Experience Tumblr like never before
you’ve almost got it! also i mean all of this in a friendly non-bitchy way, just to clarify preemptively
i’m not bi, but i have many friends who are & have been in that community for a long time & have given me more information about it. i am pan, however, and have identified as such & been in the community for many years! (and have been caught in the middle of this type of discourse many, many times in the pvp arena that is twitter.)
bisexuality, to my understanding, can be defined a few different ways: being attracted to both masculine & feminine people, being attracted to genders both like & unlike your own, and being attracted to 2 or more genders. i’ve seen different people define it different ways, and while i don’t think there’s one right way to be bi (or anything else), i’m not sure which of these definitions is the most widely related to, so i’m listing them all. what i am sure of, though, is that bisexuality does not exclude trans or nonbinary people! we have always & will always be included. so yeah, it doesn’t only mean “attraction to men and women” and most bi people i’ve spoken to seem to dislike that definition (mostly bc the way it’s worded excludes some nb people). also, it’s not uncommon for bi people to have a preference or “lean” towards one gender/s more than another.
pansexuality, which i’m much more familiar with, can also be defined multiple ways: being attracted to all genders, or being attracted to people regardless of gender (i’m sure there’s others, but from my own experience & all the pan people i’ve spoken to, those are the most widely used descriptions). however, it’s not necessarily accurate to say that being pan is being attracted to personality and not looks (or as some people have put it, “hearts not parts”). firstly, because this could imply that other sexualities are only attracted to looks & not personality; second, because it could imply that pan people aren’t attracted to looks at all; and third, because it entirely disregards the split attraction model that many people including myself use (for example: pansexual/aromantic, panromantic/asexual, etc etc). pansexuality can express both physical & emotional/romantic attraction just like any other orientation! also, pansexuality also includes both trans & nb people, obviously. i’ve found it’s much less common for pan people to have a preference or lean, but some of us do!
overall, bi & pan are admittedly very similar, and there’s a great deal of overlap in the people someone who uses one of these labels might be attracted to, but they are slightly different. both are valid, neither erases the other, and neither is transphobic. at the end of the day, the labels we put on our sexualities and orientations are nothing more than tools to serve us and help us express ourselves. they aren’t rigid boxes we must contort ourselves to fit into, and they certainly aren’t weapons with which to harm others (i’m looking at the people who say bisexuality is transphobic as i say that). labels can flex and bend and adopt new/more meanings over time just like any other word in our language, and that’s ok! the way everyone experiences attraction is different and complex, and labels are only here for our own comfort, and sometimes finding a community of similar people. there’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to be bi or pan or anything else, as long as you’re not blatantly disregarding the meaning (like.. someone calling themself a lesbian but expressing attraction to men, or something like that).
anyways, not to ramble or get on my soapbox or anything. again, i’m not the Pan Authority or w/e, nor is there one. everyone has their own thoughts & opinions - these are just mine. sorry this got kinda long; i hope some of this helped and made sense, i’m not great at articulating skdfhlkshfk!!!
if you saw me edit this like 3 times no you didn’t. i fucked up my grammar leave me be /j
Can y'all bitches settle something for me bc it came up in conversation
and i know i'm going to get some heat for this but
the stupid fucking "bisexuals like men and women while pan like everyone" is ridiculous and incorrect
because pansexuality is liking someone regardless of gender right? you dont care about looks? You're in it for the personality, correct? that's what i've always been taught when learning about pansexuality
meanwhile bisexuality does indeed care about looks while pansexuality doesnt. however contrary to popular belief, bisexuality does not exclude transgenders and nonbinaries. If you're hot you're hot, right?
I dont think people who identify as bisexual but exclude the other genders from the two main ones are bisexuals? if that makes sense?
at the end of the day, i know "identify how you want to identify" but pansexuality prioritizes personality and disregards gender, right? meanwhile bisexualty still cares about how you look, but does not exclude any gender. yes there are types and you can lean one way more than another but if you're hot you're hot?
idk if this makes sense, i'm bad at wording things, and I'm also still learning despite being in the community so?
help me learn this, am i correct or incorrect
pansexual is for personality and for everyone
bisexual is for looks and for everyone
also if you're going to try to correct me but be a bitch about it, then i'll just assume i'm right and you're wrong because? why you gotta be mean about it baby? i'm just asking a question and trying to learn more about this. i'm sorry if i'm wrong and i have the wrong mindset but?? at least i'm trying to learn aye?
- ein