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Sad Ending - Blog Posts

8 months ago

𝘗𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘙𝘢𝘪𝘯ִִ*ੈ༘⋆

𝘗𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘙𝘢𝘪𝘯ִִ*ੈ༘⋆

Proofread: mostly Wc:6.3k WARNINGS:Cheating,swearing,smut,piv,oral(m!receiving),getting caught in the act,reader is insecure,SH,use of drugs multiple times,Chris being an asshole kinda(guy logic), just sadness, no happy ending;(

Reader ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

my hands shook as i read the text.it had been sent 30 minutes ago but for some reason every time I re-read it it felt like the first."chris cheated on you"was all it said.it was from his own brother,matthew, so i knew this wasn't some type of sick joke.matt actually always had my back.when guys would make fun of me or people would stare he would try and jump in to tell them to stop.we were never friends, far from that.he was just a nice guy.

tears welled up in my salted eye as I began to type out my response to this shocking information. "What?" was all my fingers could pry themselves to type out.such a simple question with an answer that will unravel the past 5 years of my life of my life.matt began typing again almost as soon as I hit send, this time taking a much longer time.my heart sunk even deeper, if that was even possible at this point, and my stomach twisted into knots that no medicine could undo.

After about 2 minutes his message bubble showed up.i felt nothing short of sick to my stomach as i read it.he had gone to a party and cheated on me with some random slut, and was bragging about it?my head felt as if it would fall off my body at any second.i couldn't believe what i was reading, i didn't want to believe it.

the detailed story made my entire body fill with so many emotions.i began to hyperventilate.breathes quickening by the second.i didn't know what to do.a story with so much detail had no choice but to be true.i didn't want to be in my own skin anymore.i shoved the sleeve of my hoodie up and began to scratch at the skin on my arm harshly.the stinging sensation sending strange tingles to my head.old scars on my wrists sensitive, tender, so breakable.

I soon felt the need to break away.i ripped the hoodie off my body in a weird flailing mess.gripping at chunks of my hair and ripping my headphones out of my now red ears.broken sobs lefty my mouth as I attempted to catch my breath.tears pouring out of me like a fountain.how could he do this to me.after everything he told me?and everything we've been through?

anger began to fill my blood.i started to shake my hands violently.needing to get rid of this tent up anger and sadness smoothie somehow.before i knew it my hand was in my wall.blood trickling down my fist once I removed it from the fresh hole.i then realized what I had to do.My feet hurriedly carried me to the front door.I grabbed my keys somewhere along my journey to the car.puting the key in the ignition and starting my car up.the drive there was a blur.i don't even think I should be driving like this.but who cares? I sure didn't

Chris ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

Blood rushed to my face as i took another shot.i began to feel dizzy as this was my fourth one of the night and tilting my head back wasn’t the best for the state i was in.i let the alcohol burn through my throat like fire as i swallowed. I looked down at my phone unsteadily. I couldn’t help but notice a few missed calls from my girlfriend. I thought nothing of it. Y/n is always clingy anyways.

I mean seriously I go out for one night and she's up my ass. I put my phone on dnd so she cant bother me any longer.This was my night.i was going to have fun whatever way i want, without her.that sounds right.perfect actually.

I shot my head up from my phone as one of my good friends came up to me with a call of my name.it was Jack “hey man” i slurred out as i weakly dabbed up the blonde.he was sweaty and out of breath.I internally cringed as his clammy palm grabbed mine.trying my best to wipe my hand without him noticing.

“Yo, I got two men upstairs waiting if you tryna join?” He asked.i knew what he meant by two man.it definitely didn’t mean double date.i contemplated what I should do, not being able to stop harping back to the missed calls from my girlfriend.i knew it was wrong.i was drunk but not dumb.she loved me, i loved her at one point.this was fucked.everything about what i had been doing behind her back these past few months has been fucked.

I soon found my mouth moving faster than my brain. “Which one is mine?”

Reader ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

It felt like I had just teleported here as I stared at chris' front door.I knocked on it with my good hand.A few seconds later I was met with a confused looking matt. "woah what happened to you?" he asked shocked

I ignored his question entirely.he’s a big boy and thinks he can piece together what happened to me. "your parents home?"I asked.knowing that what I was about to do wasnt something his parents should hear.

"uh no they're.out why are you here?"Matt asked confused and weirded out.i never truly noticed how handsome he was.it might just be my blurry vision though.

"Is Chris home or is he with that slut Stacy?"I snipped at the taller boy.

"nah he actually went out for a few hours, to another party or something." I felt defeated as the words left his mouth. my body didn't even have the strength to support the anger running through my veins as I could only imagine what he was doing at this party.

I needed to get high.That was all I knew how to do In times like this.times when the only things that consumed my thoughts were ones that made me feel as if I wanted the earth to swallow me whole. "You got weed?" I sputtered out as I fought back tears.

Matt was clearly taken aback at my suddenness but nonetheless answered "yea.. come in" he moved aside to let me in. I mumbled a small thanks as I walked past him into the house.

Chris ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

I followed Jack upstairs as he began to describe the girl I would get.she was apparently blonde, short and had a fat ass, perfect. You could see how excited I was by simply looking down at my pants. Hopefully this girl will reciprocate.

Through all my excitement it wasn't hard to find guilt.it lingered in the back of my mind while doing these kinds of things. y/n was probably home, watching some stupid rom-com cuddled up in a blanket all cozy, sad and worried I'm not answering but doing her best to ignore it.that's just how she was.an over thinking anxiety mess that liked to hide it to make herself feel better.i would be lying if i said i didn't find that cute.

As Jack opened the door I was met with two girls waiting for us on the bed.i could spot the blonde immediately seeing as the other had dark coily hair, definitely jack's type. I eagerly made my way over to my girl who I hadn't even learned the name of. She was even more gorgeous then I had imagined.her hair was pin straight and her lips were plump, red.she had blue eyes and the hottest body.

I connected our lips before any words could be spoken.our lips moved perfectly as i undressed her.i paid no mind to what Jack and his girl were doing. All I care about is her. All I want is her. Her soft lips made my fingers tingle as I touched her bare skin.feeling like my fingers were on fire as they roughly brushed over every part of her.

She then flipped us over so she was on top of me. As I felt her clothed wetness with my fingers I couldn’t help but remember my girlfriend.she was probably at home right now, wondering where I am and what I’m doing and why I’m not answering, slowly getting more upset by the second.I brushed off the thought as the blonde on top of me took off her panties and began to position herself on top of my face.I was in perfect view of her pussy.everything a guy could dream of. Shaved, pink, tiny, perfect.

Something still felt so wrong.I had cheated on y/n plenty of times, why does now feel different? Before my thoughts could continue I felt my phone buzz in my back pocket.I know this is wrong.I need to leave.then without saying anything I got her off of me and left the room.Jack didn’t seem to say anything but she was throwing confused obscenities at me as I walked out.

Reader ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

My giggles were uncontainable as me and Matt cracked jokes across from each other on our comfortable spot on the floor. The music in the background paired with the purple led lights added an ambience to the room that couldn't be replicated. as the laughs died down the reality of my entire relationship set into my heart. I had been lied to by the one person who saw me for me.the one person to ever treat me right, buy me flowers, take me shopping, buy me food, listen to me talk about random stuff, stay on the phone with me almost every night until I fell asleep, was gone. I don't want this change. it wasn't one I could handle in my heart that had already grown as heavy as tons.

without thinking as soon as the tears began to spring out of my eyes I hugged matt.it was a little awake since we were on the floor after but it didn't matter.we sat there for some time.just holding each other as I cried into his chest.he was just so comfortable to be around, I couldn’t help but melt into him.before I could catch my own body I found my lips on his.I don’t know how it happened but it did.it felt right yet wrong.perfect yet oh so messed up.

We kisses sloppily as we were still high as shit.I slowly climbed on top of Matt which made me break the kiss for a moment.I took the second to stare deep into his hooded eyes.every detail of his face sinking into my eyes.a cheeky smile was plastered on his face and it was in this moment that i realized, he was the one.

I hurriedly kissed him again and began to remove my top as he did the same for himself.toned body all in view.my world felt like it was spinning as I tired to unclasp my bra while giggling.our tongues messily fought through laughs and desire.I felt so light yet so grounded at the same time.as if our bodies were morphing together.

We wasted no time taking all of our clothes off, both of us now completely naked on top of each other on his bedroom floor.

Chris ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

I barely shuffled past the crowd of drunken young adults as I made my way to the door and eventually my car.my eyes darken with anger at myself, hurting the only girl I've ever loved? who the fuck am I?I feel guilt wash over me as I realize how many time I had already done this. The number was truly lost on me as this normally happened when I was blackout drunk but it had to be around 10 now.

I put the keys in the ignition and started the car.my fists feel like they might explode if I didn't hit something now.i restrain myself hesitantly.scared that if I hit something I won't be able to stop. I quickly started driving.i shouldn't be driving in this condition. I'm drunk, tired, guilty and blinded with self directed rage.i couldn't stop my mind from wandering to her. no matter how much I tired to stop, how much I wanted to stop, I couldn't.everything led back to her.every color reminded me of a shirt she had.every song she had sang.every friend was one of hers.she owned every aspect of my mind.

______ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

y/n was far from gorgeous in her own eyes.yes her friends often said she was beautiful and stunning but she never saw it. and even when she did think she looked cute even no man ever did, at least not one that wasn't family.no matter how much makeup she caked onto her face in the mornings, or how many skincare products burned through her childlike skin, she never had received a compliment from another guy.

because of this she never left the house without a full face of makeup on.if anyone dared to rush her through her 12 step makeup routine she would scream and cry till they left her alone.she couldn't be seen without it.she was also always putting herself in clothes that were meant to make her body "look good". Although it only worked occasionally she continued to wear them.short crop tops with her boobs hanging out the top and the tightest leggings known to man.Some would say she was a slut, others could tell she was just hurting.She wanted to be wanted.

this was her life style until she hit junior year of high school.she had gotten so tired of trying to be the most gorgeous girl by mens standards that she simply stopped.she threw away all her makeup and burned her slutty outfits to the ground.replacing them with large baggy jeans, hoodies and random tee shirt.she would barely style her hair anymore and only at special times wore mascara.she was the polar opposite of who she used to be.she didn't even know the girl she was before.

along with this major change in looks came a major change in mind.she now envied her friends even more.seeing them have guys hit on them and ask them out constantly made her livid.sometimes when she would go out with some her friends people would stop and stare.as if she was some sort of museum exhibit "complete ugly loser hanging out with pretty girls" and she was on display like a taxidermied shark.nobody really wondering who she is or what she does to look the way she does, just how the hell did she get here.

this jealousy soon turned into self isolation.she kept herself away from her friends.she was silent whenever she had to be around them in class.no longer being interested in drama or who asked out who that week.music playing in her ears with or without headphones.she no longer participated in conversations.only sitting there and half listening.she had become a shell of the girl she once was.and for some reason she enjoyed it.noboyd noticed her.she could dig a blade as deep into her skin as she wanted to and nobody would give a fuck.her tainted blood could drip down and stain the shirt she wore to school the next day and nobody would say anything.they wouldnt notice

Her friends didn't notice her silence.only thinking it was some strange phase she was going through because well, they were teenagers, things like this would happen.over time the loneliness became too much for her causing her to attempt to migrate back to her previous friend group.fortunately they accepted her back with open arms.

then, one fateful day in a boring science class.the teacher announced that they were switching their seats to lab tables now that they were halfway through the year girls who had sat together all year were understandably sad but nobody’s emotions compared to y/n's.she hadn't felt this nervous in a long time.and it felt disgusting.

her leg bounced up and down seeing as there were only 2 more lab tables left and her name, along with 7 others, hadn't been called. all her friends were already separated so she really had no chance. "ok lab table 5 is gonna be... anita, chris, y/n and Issac." the teacher announced.

her stomach dropped at the names.not one but two boys at her table.this was a nightmare for her .whenever she sat with boys in the past they were sure to make fun of her till she wanted to crawl into whatever shirt she was wearing and never come out.she grabbed her stuff and situated herself in the small chair. Chris across from her, Antia next to him and Issac next to y/n. she kept her head down, not wanting to even look any of these people in the eye.

"Alright so I know you guys have been sitting with completely different people the whole year so take the rest of the period to talk with the people you're with and get to know them." Ms.Kratsteen stated. Anita and Issac sparked up a conversation immediately. They most likely were friends before this.

Chris looked around awkwardly before breaking the silence between the two. "So y/n, you're pretty different from last year." he said, causing y/n to look up slowly. the look on her face almost saying 'wtf'. "not like in a bad way, you still look pretty cool." he backtracked.

"thanks?you look...well the same,"the flushed girl said.making herself let out a soft laugh.he laughed lightly along with her.

Once the laughter died down Chris spoke again"yeah, its harder to change your style as a guy then you would think" he chuckled at his own words.large hands moving to rub his chin momentarily.She couldn’t help but giggle at his words as well.not that it was all that funny but just simply because the way his thin pink lips maneuvered into a sly smile was one that made her all giddy.like butterflies were bubbling inside her stomach as she stared at him intently.this strange, unfamiliar feeling, felt nice.for the first time in a while,she felt nice.

“Hey, how about you come over to mine after school?you can give me some fashion tips” he said half jokingly, not fully expecting her to say yes.but to his surprise she agreed.it was hard to ignore how she blushed deeply, he could practically hear her heart beating out of her chest, or possibly that was his own beat he was listening to.

______ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

The mood of the room was calm.Chris and y/n took turns passing the pen to each other as they sat in the seemingly silent room.the soft sound of a random The Cure song played in their ears.the noise drifting in and over their heads while the room filled with smoke.

Y/n look over to her left on the bed at Chris, red hooded eyes drifting over to his relaxed body.no words came from her mouth although she wanted them to.her mouth was agape, words just at the brim of being uttered.but for reasons out of her control they stayed locked behind her teeth.refusing to spill over which only filled her head which curiosity as to what they could be.

Chris noticed her gaze after a moment.lowly lidded eyes locking with hers.his words came out fast.not stopping themselves at the brim like hers had. “I didn’t know you smoked…” he practically mumbled.

It took her a moment to gather what to say.she never really did, not often at least.due to this the amount of weed she was intaking at the moment made her all the more out of it then normal. “I…I don’t really…only when I’m sad…” she answered at the same volume of Chris’ voice.

The distance between them felt as if it was growing larger as she stared at him from the head of her bed.back lazily rested on a large pillow as he does the same on the other side of the bed.her hand practically moves in slow motion as she reaches to grab her soda from the nightstand.her body was slothily moving as she unscrewed the top and took a sip.letting the sugary drink sit in her mouth before swallowing.

It seemed as if in the blink of an eye Chris was closer to her.like he had teleported closer. “C’mere…” he said quietly under his breath.Yet somehow the words flowed right into her ears making them ring.

She set down her drink again and crawled over to him on the bed slowly.plopping her body down next to his after not very long seeing as they were very far apart anymore.without saying anything Chris took another hit of the pen.confusion etched on her face as she watched him.

Before she could form a coherent thought two of his slender fingers were on her chin.hypnotically pulling her closer making her lips part mindlessly.their open lips collided messily.hot smoke blowing into her mouth making her throat burn.she blew the smoke back out after holding it in her mouth again.

She stared at him somehow blankly.blinking as she tried to process what had happened, yet also slowly forgetting it completely. He stared back at her.not an ounce of nervousness available to him as he gazed into her sinking eyes.

“Again…” she uttered weakly.not exactly knowing where the words or let alone the thought came from to begin with.he chuckled lowly before doing as she said.pulling her close and placing his lips on hers again.their tongues slowly fought for dominance, messy spit pooling together as their eyes closed, all the while deepening the needy kiss.

They were friends, nothing more.honestly it had never been a realistic thought to be anything more.but right now she felt like she had been with him for years.like she had seen every part of him.as if she knew every story he had to tell. She felt like she loved him.

______ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

Chris and y/n laid in bed somberly.they weren't necessarily going to sleep but it was definitely calm.y/n was slightly tapped into a random movie on his tv while he sat on his side scrolling through his phone mindlessly.

It was a nice summer night.the room they were in was extremely stuffy causing y/n to not wear a hoodie like she normally does at night.leaving her scars out In the open.she didn't mind that chris could see her scars as she knew he wouldn't mention them.sometimes she questioned if he even noticed them.she had never caught him stealing glances at them or looking at them with fascination like she had with others.and I mean yea chris could be a bit of a space cadet at times but he wasn't completely braindead.

yet the question lingered in her mind.was that the only reason he had stayed with her so long. cause he didn't think she had gone that far?if he found out, would he be disgusted? as these thoughts raced through her mind a mile a minute she found herself simultaneously pulling the blanket over her wrists.

chris, unlike she had thought, noticed this.he noticed everything about her.he noticed how her face wrinkles like a cat everytime she about to sneeze.and how she ties her shoes into butterfly's cause it's cuter.or how she knows where everyone one of her stuffed animals came from.and unfortunately for y/n, he noticed this small action.it was one so small, so miniscule, that anyone else could have and would have  missed it.but not him.not when it came down to her.

he knew what she was covering.it hurt him to know why she was pulling the blanket over herself and why her face suddenly seemed to have changed ever so slightly.he sat up lazily to be at her level. "baby..." he mumbled.the words felt strange as they ringed in her ears.it was the first time he had ever called her any type of pet name as he stated many times he hated names like that.

she turned her head to him attentively. "what's up?" she tired to act nonchalant even though she was internally fucking dying at the name he had called her in his low, stuffy, tired voice.her eyes scanned over his face for the millionth time.never being able to get fully used to the beauty he held.he could say the same about her with ease, yet he never would, not unprovoked at least.

The next words weren’t what she had expected.she thought he would want to change the movie or that he wants to go to sleep. He sputtered for a moment, trying to find the right words before speaking up. “They don’t bother me, you're beautiful to me no matter what” was all he said.no more, no less, it was perfect.just like every other word he had ever had the privilege of saying to her.

______ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

her resting was peaceful as she lay in her boyfriends arms.it was the morning of her birthday but it was still fairly early for her,8:00 to be exact.soft breaths came in and out of her nose sequentially as her resting eyelids stayed shut.the tranquility she felt was unmatched as she slept.

chris on the other had wasn't as much of a peaceful sleeper.he was practically snoring in her ear as his head rested messily in the crook of her neck that had stayed open through the night, unmoving, subconsciously scared to wake chris up.his legs were sprawled out as the only thing in order were his arms around her.despite the disheveled state he was in he was calm, something which was rare for him.

this moment. one so delicate that it should be treated as porcelain, was dropped from a 1,000 foot tall building as his brothers came barging into the room with a large camera and smiling faces. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!' they shouted in unison, causing y/n to shoot up from her sleep startled, leaving a confused and sleepy chris to roll over onto his back, rubbing his eye as he tried to figure out what the hell was going on.

once her eyes adjusted to the sight in front of her she grumble a quick "what..." as she had totally forgotten it was he birthday.she didn't even bother to fix her messed up hair or the chaoticness of her outfit as she was right on camera.a small part of her knew this would be on YouTube later that night but was far too tired to do anything about it.

"Happy birthday!" Nick shouted again from behind the camera.now reminding y/n what day it was.she yawned before looking over to chris next to her.he was sleepily grinning ear to ear as he was happy his brothers were celebrating her as well.

Before she could think Nick was grabbing her by the hand and pulling her into the kitchen, passing the camera to Matt somewhere along the way as he led her up the stairs to the island in the middle of the kitchen.chris was groggily following behind.

her eyes lit up as she saw the cake they had bought for her.it was custom made to have pictures of her and her friends on the top and all sorts of things that she liked on the sides such as her favorite artists, books and movie.the cake was y/f/c and large and heart shaped.it was perfectly adorned with a white frosting edge and must've cost at least $200.

she picked her head up, tears in her eyes as she looked at her three favorite people surrounding her. Matt smiled cheekily from behind the camera before speaking up. "Do you like it?" he asked even though the answer was obvious.

"i...I love it..." she practically whispered before noticing chris walking off back to his room.she didn't question it as maybe he wanted to fix his hair or put on a shirt on for the camera.while they waited for chris to come back she hugged the two brothers who watched her gleaming face with pride.before she could notice nick pulled a bag from behind the island

He held the pink bag out to her. "here" he said with a grin on his face.she took the bag and set it on the table and took out the tissue paper.her smile lit up even more if it was even possible as she picked up the gift.it was a small collage book.she only grew happier as she flipped through the pages.they were filled with nothing but amazing memories from her entire life.it was impossible to not cringe and laugh as she found middle school photos. showing them to the camera as they all laughed.

It was strange how Chris hadn't come back yet but she assumed he was doing something important down there.matt set the camera down on its stand as he grabbed his gift from his side.setting the black and white bag on the table in front of her. she smiled at him before opening the bag and pulling out the penguin stuffed animal he had gotten her.it was tiny and super soft an the perfect thing for her desk.she took a look at the tag and saw that the plushie had a name tag.slipping over the name tag she saw the penguin had the same name as her.

she looked up with a warm smile. "thanks matt" she hugged him sweetly before nothing chris coming up the stairs again.his arms were held behind his back as he walked up to her.once he stood in front of her he pulled out a sleek black and gold box from behind him.her eyes trailed over the box anxiously as she could tell from just the box that whatever it was was expensive.

She shakily took the box from his hand and opened it to find a silver ring.it was simple and had small diamonds on the sides of it.she put her hand over her mouth in disbelief as she looked at the ring. "I'm not proposing or nothin’...just a promise ring" chris said as he watched her stare at the ring in awe.without saying anything she set it down and hugged him passionately.

"Thank you baby..." she whispered into his neck.although he hated corny pet names he didn't protest.only hugging her back with a smile on his face.simply happy he could make her this happy.

Reader ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

His dick sprung lit of his pants as i pulled down his boxers.everything moving so lustfully slow yet hungrily fast at once.the world was spinning around us and I was so here for it.i wasted no time working my mouths way down to his cock.i didn’t hesitate to deep throat him.his length not fully registering in my head until they had connected.gagging almost immediately. He was bigger than Chris that was for sure.

I bobbed my head up and down quicker each time I came up.air was secondary to his pleasure.his hands somehow found their way to my head and began to touch me down further on his cock. Beautiful moans and whines escaped his pink lips. I looked up at him through my lashes to the best of my abilities and he looked gorgeous.hooded eyes looking as desperate as ever.i loved it.i wanted to soak up all of his being.

His beauty made me work faster.i felt my pussy ache for some sort of attention but I couldn’t bother.i was so locked on his face that my own pleasure was trivial.without warning Matt let out an estranged moan as he came down my throat.not even giving me an option to spit.

Before I could think for myself Matt sat up and grabbed me, bringing us to his bed in order to be more comfortable. Without words he liked his cock up with my soft entrance and pushed into me.a loud moan eliciting from my throat as he did so.he large man began to move fast and hard.having no mercy against me and my sensitive body.

My moans were utterly uncontrollable.only getting louder by the second.thank God nobody else was home. “You love this cock.don’t you slut?” He spat. The temporary pleasure was overwhelming to say the least.I felt so euphoric yet so dazed at once. my body couldn't seem to choose whether to moan out my pleasure or let it all rush to my brain which was already beginning to become fuzzy. "answer me." he sternly commanded.

I felt my body get hotter by the second as I tried answering him. "yes..I love it..so much.."I sputtered out. my eyes rolled back as he continued to drill into me relentlessly.my eyes that refused to open fully rolled into the back of my head as he kept the same fast rough pace, tattooed arms holding my hips in place in a way so brutal that I feared he would crush them.

Chris ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

time felt as if it had skipped as I was suddenly home in the blink of an eye.lost in my thoughts of her, only her.i huffed as I opened the front door.stumbling into my house cause the alcohol was very much still in my system.my struggling emotions were sobering me up somewhat but that didn't help my sluggish movement.

once I had hobbled over to the island that lay in the center of the kitchen I put my head in my hands.leaning over the counter with pure exhaustion.i let out a deep sigh.i had fucked up, bad.i cheated on the only girl i've ever truly loved, the only girl to ever truly love me back.what the hell was i thinking?

Slowly i pick my body up.walking over to the fridge to grab some sort of drink.for the first time in my life i wouldn't mind drinking water if it meant getting the foul taste of the blonde from earlier out of my mouth.luckily for me there was some lemonade left which i quickly grabbed a can on and sung my head back to drink.desperate for some sort of way to wash this feeling off myself.

I set the metal can down on the counter with a clink. letting out a breath i hadn't known i was holding in.my gray hoodie which was lined with fur on the inside suddenly felt suffocating.like as if i couldn't breathe with it on.but i didn't remove it as it was the closest thing to comfort i had right now.my eye rake over to the front door where i see matts keyes sitting on the holder.

Without a second thought I turned my body and head to Matt's room.not fully noticing the loud music.he would know what to do, how to handle this.even if he didn't i really just needed my older brother right now.

My hands were steady as they gripped the doorknob.opening his creaky white door slowly due to me still being absolutely wasted.i kept my head down.afraid to look him in the eye while i explained what i had done out of shame.

Reader ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

my body felt like it was going to go into overdrive as he kept his riotous pace the whole time, not slowing down to give me a moment to breathe once. "hey matt I really fucked up and-" chris started as he opened the door, looking for comfort from his brother for something.matt who was still high as ever didn't even notice this

I hear the creak of the door and immediately attempt to freeze. “Shit…Matt stop— oh fuck…mph.” I babble in attempt to get him to stop.i weakly prop myself up on my elbows to see who it was.through the bliss of getting fucked dumb I could see it was Chris standing in the doorway.despite what I was aware him doing I felt awful he had to see this.I continue to try and pry matt out of me. “Matt stop…Chris’ here.” I slur as the weight of the situation slowly sobers me up.

I watch as Matt pulls out of me hesitantly and turns to look at Chris. I'm the doorway.I knew it was the weed making him act so nonchalant.if we were sober he would’ve jumped out of his skin at the slightest sound of the door creaking. “Oh shittt” he muttered as he lay next to me, propped up on his elbows.I hadn't even noticed he crashed down next to me

“What the fuck…”Chris uttered under his alcohol infused breath.the gleam of the purple lights mixed with the effects of the weed were making it hard me to make out the details of what exactly was in-front of me but I swear I could see his eyes well with tears.

𝘞𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘉𝘺 𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘶𝘷𝘴𝘹™


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1 year ago

blame me if you want.

💭 GUIDELINES ‣ LIBRARY ‣ TAGLIST & ANONS ‣ IN PROGRESS ‣ REQUEST LIST ‣ PINNED

Blame Me If You Want.
Blame Me If You Want.
Blame Me If You Want.
Blame Me If You Want.
Blame Me If You Want.

pairing: jeongin x gender neutral reader

content warnings: heartbreak, angst, crying, break up

rating: 13+

summary: you deluded yourself into thinking you and jeongin were meant to last forever. but after some time where he felt distant, you come to find out why.

🍂 untitled — hyunjin & i.n (2 kids’ show)

Blame Me If You Want.

His hands shook slightly as they held your face as though you were to break into a thousand pieces if he let you go, and you thought you might, too, since your heart had just been shattered by the man you’d once named your forever; why not let your body and soul follow your heart into the disaster it is now? You watched as tears threatened to spill, his voice cracked and his lips formed a trembling frown, though it didn’t compare to the storm of tears rolling down your cheeks or the sobs that continuously escaped past your lips, your expression twisted into one of pure heartbreak.

“I— I really didn’t want us to end like this, Jeongin,” you sobbed, and you knew he could barely understand what you were trying to say through the hiccups and cries. “But it’s like you’ve mentally been away for months now and I don’t know what I can do anymore. I can’t continue living like this, losing sleep because I can’t figure out what is happening and you keep refusing to talk about it.”

Jeongin pulled you to his chest, resting his chin on top of your head as the fingers of one hand gripped your shirt. He was shaking all over, but you were inconsolable.

“You’ve said it on my behalf, Y/N.” He began, voice crackling as he held back tears. “At some point, your eyes felt so cold, and perhaps I am the reason, but —”

You pulled away from him, eyebrows furrowed. “If I ever looked at you coldly, I never meant it. Baby, I promise that —”

“No, not like that,” he interrupted. “I mean, I didn’t feel the same way that I used to. I’m not sure how or when it happened, but it did. I couldn’t figure out how to tell you, but I really didn’t want things to get to this point.”

A tear finally rolled down his cheek as he spoke, voice growing thicker as he held back his own devastation. His words felt as though he’d pushed you off of a cliff and now you were just falling without a safety net by yourself.

“Y/N, I know in my heart that you leaving me and finding someone who truly deserves you before this pain gets any deeper is the best thing you can do.” A choked sob escaped from his lips and he sniffled, looking away for a moment to compose himself. “I tried to be your forever, I really did. But now I’m not sure of anything; did I really fall in love? Or was it a selfish decision made for my own sake to escape from my loneliness? At first, I didn’t even want to entertain the idea but, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.”

The room was spinning at his words, your sobs intensifying while you pulled away from him completely. You were angry now, hurt, betrayed.

“What are you implying?” Your voice was louder than you’d intended, but you also couldn’t bring yourself to care when your whole world was collapsing in on itself at the moment. “Are you saying that everything we’d been through wasn’t real? Every beautiful minute spent together didn’t make you feel like this could be forever?”

You were standing now, looking down on his shiny eyes as more tears rolled freely down his achingly beautiful face; even with emotions running high, it took everything in you to not kiss them away. But he didn’t deserve that anymore, and you were well aware. When you called him over with the intention to end things, you wanted him to argue with you and tell you that you guys could work things out. You wanted to hear him say that he loved you, and that he didn’t agree with this decision. Anything to show you that he cared and was willing to fight for you and your relationship with him. Instead you found yourself feeling as though he’d punched you in the gut when he agreed wholeheartedly. Now every year spent with him was in question as you wondered just how much of it was as real to him as it had been for you. How many times did he lie through his teeth as he told you he loved you? The thought had you shaking with rage.

Jeongin didn’t respond, only sat there as he watched you back away from him slowly.

“Was I really just someone to keep your bed warm? Who the fuck says that?”

Jeongin finally stood up, hands attempting to reach you but you moved away before he could. “No, I don’t think it was like that —”

“You don’t think, Jeongin? This was the part where you told me ‘No, Y/N, it definitely wasn’t like that’. But you stand there and tell me you don’t think I was just a warm body so you didn’t feel so lonely? You’re such a coward.”

“I know that I am!” For the first time ever, Jeongin raised his voice, which took you aback. “You can blame me if you want, Y/N, but you have to believe me when I tell you that I didn’t want this to drag on like this. There were so many times where I tried to be honest about my feelings but I would look at you and always feel like such a monster for wanting to end things when what we had was so good. Don’t you think I hate this too?”

You remained silent, his words echoing in your mind. It didn’t make sense to you, nothing did. “If what we had was so good, then why did you stop loving me? When did you stop seeing me as your future?”

He opened his mouth but nothing came out. His shoulders slumped when he mumbled, “I have no idea.”

You sniffled, wrapping your own arms around yourself as you watched him. The crying had subsided a little bit by that point, and you could feel your chest becoming numb the longer he remained there. He stood before you, a shell of a man who had once decided to fall with you, but now he watched as you fell on your own to your own doom. The future looked so bleak without him, and you didn’t think you could ever forgive him for this.

“Do you think you would’ve said something sooner rather than later if I hadn’t called you over?”

“I don’t know. I hope so.”

You inhaled sharply, and exhaled shakily, your heart beating in your throat as you prepared to say the next words you’d never even dreamt of saying: “I think you should leave.”

Worst of all, Jeongin only nodded before walking out of your place. He didn’t even look back before closing the door behind him, leaving you a shattered mess.

Blame Me If You Want.

word count: 1.1k 🍂 posted: 11 • 30 • 2023

💬 a note from green;

i watched hyunjin and i.n’s 2 kids show yesterday and their untitled song had me in tears and inspired me to write this sad little thing. i hope you guys enjoy, i might post something with hyunjin too though i don’t know.

Blame Me If You Want.

🪲 TAGLIST !

# @grandpafelixx

Blame Me If You Want.

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4 weeks ago

So... at first it started out as a comic idea for my college work and then when i developed the idea to a story to write a script for college work purpose...

So... At First It Started Out As A Comic Idea For My College Work And Then When I Developed The Idea

Tell me how did my college work turned into a short xavier fanfic with a script and comic idea .. and its angst . I never have written this type of angst ever or even angst ever.... how the hell is this man single handedly made my college work about him? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?

Not complaining though... cuz i made him sit there with me for 4 hours as i finished off my story and script 🥰🫡🥹🥹

Its 3 37 am. . Someone send help.😀🫡

Btw... a short note... was trying to pull for Xavier 5 star card but instead got Sylus's birthday card... not complaining but ya ... 🙃🫠 need to save up for lumiere rerunsssss😊🤪


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5 months ago

Hi !

I just wrote my first Cherik fic on AO3, so if you like sad endings it’s a good fic for you ! but I swear it’s good and worth it !

Here’s the link !

Hi !

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1 year ago

WARNING: Graphic description of a city burning down, as well as death and injury

Wrote this from the perspective of a hivewing dragonet, the post above inspired me to attempt to write a fanfic

Hornet ran through the streets of Bloodworm hive, terror flooding his veins. One moment he was eating honeydrops with his school friends, the next the entire city was one fire. Hornet flapped his wings pitifully in a desperate attempt to take flight, fighting against his underdeveloped wings. Please someone! Help me! His mind raced as the crackle of flames mixed with the screams of terror echoed through his ears. The smell of burning wood and flesh filling the air, where were his friends? Where were his parents? All he longed for was someone to save him. He just wanted someone to wake him up and tell him he had a nightmare. A bad dream to forget about and move on.

Hornet knew he’d never forget this, as the fire spread to the top floors of the hive the structure crashed down. Every step felt like he was getting closer to being crushed by the rubble. “Mom! Dad!” Hornet cried out to deaf ears. His pleading was drowned out by the rest of the commotion. His feet stung as he rushed across the flaming street, other hivewings rushing  past him. He caught sight of his mother in the distance, he took all his energy to cry out “MOM!!”

In almost an instant his mother sprinted to his side, picking him up and taking flight. “It’s ok honey, I’m here” She comforted him through tears, Hornet knew better than that. It would never be ok again. His mother’s attempt at comforting did help distract him from the carnage around him. Now in the air he finally saw the extent of the damage. He saw his entire neighborhood running for their lives. Several of his distant relatives were injured or lying dead in the flames.

Suddenly he fell out of the air, his mother had been struck by a piece of wood. Hornet watched, his eyes full of pure horror. As the flames consumed his last remaining hope of savior. “NO!! WAKE UP!! PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME!!! MOM!!” He cried out, he rushed over to her side. Watching her thrash in agony as the flames charred her wings. He sobbed in desperation for his mom to wake up. He was quickly caught by the flames as well, screaming in pain and terror. The last thing he saw before blacking out was the ruins of his hometown.

That's probably the saddest thing I've ever wrote, Hornet does survive he just passed out at the end. He got medical help and a therapist.

Hey you guys remember how Bloodworm Hive (a giant city with potentially thousands of dragons living in it) burned down with only the SilkWings being evacuated? Potentially hundreds of deaths? Yeah. Remember how it was utterly sidelined and ignored afterwards? Yeah. Good times.


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2 months ago

Like her…(Henry Creel/001 x reader!)

Like Her…(Henry Creel/001 X Reader!)

(Warnings: Bad writing, Brenner, 001/Henry, mentions of death? NOT PROFF READ!)

(Summary: You and Henry are 011 real parents. Henry not knowing but, 011 reminds him of you..)

A/n: I got this idea off of a TikTok💀😂

Masterlist

Word count: 1.2k

“Papa, I’m chasing a ghost… I don’t know who she is…”

~~~~~~

"Am I going to get in trouble?" 011 asked, her doe eyes looked at Henry with sad expression. The same way you used to when one of the children got hurt..

"No.. no why would you think that?" Henry asked in a sickly sweet voice.

~~~~~

During the 'game', it was 002 against 007, who was only 5 at the time. 002 had thrown him hard against the wall with a hard smack.

Y/n looked at the little boy with her sad doe like eyes with an equal sad worried expression. Once the session was over and all the kids went to the rainbow room.

She left to the nurses station to check on 007. She was glad to see him wake but he had bruises slowly forming. She gave 007 a sad smile.

"Look who's awake." Y/n said with a comforting smile. 007 opened his eyes again with a small smile. "I'm really glad you're okay. And I have something that i think is well deserved."

Y/n said leaning forward slightly in the chair whispering to him. 007 looked at her with a curious expression. As y/n reached into her uniform pocket holding out a piece of candy. 007 eyes widened with a smile. Before jumping up and hugging her.

"Thank you, mummy." 007 said. Y/n's expression halted as tears formed in her eyes and wrapped her arms around the little boy.

"Keep it a secret. Okay?" Y/n said, as she pulled away. 007 nodded hiding it in his sweatpants pocket. "Get some rest."

Y/n smiled as 007 nodded laying back down cuddling up next to his stuffed animal.

Y/n got up and walked over to the station getting it ready for the next shift. She closed the door wiping her tears once she got to her room evidently was the one without any cameras. Not noticing the figure that had been waiting for her.

"Why are you crying?" Henry asked concerned. Which caused y/n to jump started by the voice. She let out breathy laugh.

"You really know how to startle someone.." she said. Turning to look at him. He was right in front of her.

"What happened?" He asked/demanded, whipping away the stranded tears with his finger.

"It's nothing. I promise." She replied, Henry was not convinced but let it go. Wrapping his arms around and kissing her.

~~~~~

"You remind me of someone..." Henry said, while sitting next to 011.

011 glances at him her eyebrows furrowed with a little crinkle between her brows. The image of you came into his mind.

~~~

"I-I just don't get it.." Y/n said, eyebrows furrowed with a little crinkle between her eyebrows.

"They are so young and have so much ahead of them. But instead they are pit against each other in some sick game.. and some of them aren't even old enough to-" She looked over to see Henry looking at the ground. Y/n sighed.

"I'm sorry.. I just wish that I could help them.." y/n said , the second part barely a whisper.

Henry grabbed her arms and kissed her forehead. She laid her head down on his chest and his arms wrapped around her.

"Someday we will..." he said..

~~~

"Who?" 011 asked Henry.

"A girl I used to know. She was confused just how you are now. When she found out what papa was doing... but that story doesn't have a happy ending I'm afraid.." Henry said, his eyes drifting off sadly.

"What...what happened to her?" 011 asked hesitantly. Henry looked at her.

"How about we save that story for a different day.." Henry said, giving the confused girl a slight smile.

  And if Henry was being honest he didn't know the whole story of what happened to the woman he loved for a long time.

~~~~~

  Henry heard 011 got attacked and snuck off to the nurses station to check on her. He saw her and all he could see was you. How her face looked calm and collected yet with a hint of pain etched on to her face. So tired that she couldn't keep her eyes open. Those doe shaped eyes with the long lashes just like you..

~~~

"What happened?" Henry demanded his voice almost sinisterly yet also concerning.

  Y/n furrowed her brows slightly in pain as she sat up. Eyes drifting closed and opening. Henry grabbed her before she could fall laying her back down against him. Her head on his chest.

"That day when you saw me crying. I was with 007 i-I gave him a piece of candy and somebody heard him call me..." y/n heisted the last part.

"Call you what? What had lead to this besides you giving him candy?" Henry asked.

  Y/n sat up steadily her doe eyes drifting off. Whipping the tears that were starting to come.

"Somebody heard 007 call me mum..." She whispered.

  Henry's eyes widened slightly looking at her. He gently pulled her back so she was lying on his chest as he ran a hand up her arm comforting her. Not long as she drifted off to sleep her face calm and collected but with a slightly pained expression from the torture he had to endure not so long before he found you.

  That night Henry made a silent vow to get you out of that hell hole. And make a wish for you to come true.

  Neither of you knowing that, that wish, that want was already alive and growing.

~~~~

"Mama is dead." 011 slightly snapped at Henry.

"And who told you that?" Henry asked. His eyebrows raised with a knowing look.

"Papa!" 011 Whisper shouted. Henry gave her a knowing look. 011 eyes widened with realisation, just like you used too. "Who doesn't always tell the truth..."

~~~~

Y/n's eyes widened with realisation as she realised why she has been so tired and nauseous lately. Y/n paled at the fact she just bestowed upon.

"Hey, you okay?" Henry asked. As he noticed how pale you had gotten. Y/n nodded slightly before collapsing. Henry caught her as her eyes rolled back.

...

"You can't see her." A nurse said blocking Henry from seeing her.

  His eyes drifted to see Brenner giving him a stern look and whisper to a guard. As the guard took him away. That was the last time he saw you.

"You will be put into a secluded room and will be watched and taken care of during the 9 months and when you have the baby it will become part of the system." Brenner said sternly. Y/n nodded slightly before looking away with tears.

~~~~

"I didn't lie 011. When I talked about your mother." Brenner said. 011 looked at him confused.

"Your mother is gone. She had died not long after she had you. It's wasn't because of you.. she got sick." Brenner said. 011 realised.

"Henry said that I reminded him a woman."

"That woman was your mother... and Henry.." 011s eyes widened as she processed the information.

"No.." She whispered. Staring at Brenner in horror.

"Yes 011. Henry is your father and that wom- Y/n is your mother. They were secretly together when they were in the lab. And that is how she had you." Brenner said.

  011 swallowed hard before asking the question she's been pondering on.

"Do I look like her?"


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