Loop Speaks - Blog Posts

BRIGHT 

Greys, blacks, and whites 

In a world full of dull 

You are my light. 

She shines so bright 

Vivid dreams come to life 

She whispers things 

That my heart can’t 

Retain 

She sings things to my brain 

That I just can’t explain 

She makes me breathe 

Pushing the oxygen from 

Her love 

Into my lungs 

She reaches and pulls 

Down the moon and the 

Stars. 

She goes far. 

EVERYTHING 

His eyes, oh his eyes were jewels 

I wanted to rob him blind 

He stared at me like I was something 

My heart rushed, jumping in my chest 

Why did I feel like I was 

Nothing to him?

He whispered to me 

“What are we?” 

Nothing 

Coldness surrounds us 

Could we be something?

Could he keep me warm? 

“What am I to you?” 

I whispered back. 

His eyes never left my gaze, 

Never blinking

“Everything.” 

N. 

How to describe someone time isn’t a friend of- 

Fate knows your name, 

It’s strong, your strong. In your arms, I feel safe, 

Until we let go

Music turned all the way up 

The only song I wanted to hear was your heart 

Harmonious, a voice so sweet to the ears 

Fate might not be our friend, 

But time knows our name and dammit it demands it so mockingly, 

Like a threat. 

Dare we prove fate wrong and test the stars?  We’ll test the boundaries of life itself.

DATE WITH FATE 

To live, to see your face in the future 

One day will all be worth it. I know you 

Will bring me COUNTLESS smiles, so all the 

Hard work now is worth it and brings me one 

Step closer to you, to know one day I will 

Get to hold your hand again makes 

Everything worth it. Someday yeah, but fate

Will bring us together.

WORDS FROM THE HALLWAY

She had spun herself a web- not one of lies nor of truth- 

Just a sticky situation to let others come into 

It’s quite strange, to be a bird like her

For words and songs aren’t always heard

She declares her faith to one admirer 

But the nest and the next she has no desire. 

Birds can’t speak but she’s a flyer.

Watch her dive, watch her drive, 

Watch her spin her web of crimes. 

Watch those tears fall down others' faces, 

Will she stop and slow her pace? 

Twig legs no longer there, 

She’s disgusted and caught in her hair. 

Dare she move once more? Fuck those birds and slam the door.

UNKNOWN 

Ever so carelessly, you ignore my entire 

Being and destroy thoughtless opinions 

Of me. Even so, I continue to pest and 

Cause thunder to boom inside of your head. 

Those wilted flowers will caress your legs

And with one uneasy smile, I admire you

Those thorns wither and twist around 

Your arms. I will not scold, I behold your 

Truth. 

And when it’s over, I’ll give you a cold hug. 

For I am the lurking shadow,

I am the unheard footsteps and the candles 

That flicker as you rest. 

My crown will never falter, 

For I am death. 

WINTER

The grey skies take over, fuzziness endures 

Staying by the fire could be helpful 

Just don’t mourn over the storm;

As you sit, gazing at the warm fire

You know you are still cold 

From the protection of  The lonely winter.

. TREES

A bare witness, 

A bare wilderness

Naked but not free 

Been used from time and time again 

Taken for granted 

Tossed to the side when there’s nothing 

Left  Not even a thank you.

I feel sick. Again. Not in control. Again. 

Shaken, misplaced, irregular 

I have all the words ready to spew out from my faucet, 

But they won’t come out, not right now, 

And not right. Just jumbled word vomit that smells like grief, aching, and anxiety. 

My insides feel all torn up. 

All messed up. 

Just like my mind. 

I’m currently trying to find out if I’m even alive. 

This stupid ringing in my ear, 

This stupid voice in my head, 

This stupid way that I look at him. 

Pushing my feelings aside. No longer shoving them down his throat, just my fingers that he loves to suck. 

My body that he loves to touch. 

My body that is hard for me to touch. 

Looking around to see others wanting me but I’m not sure if I even want myself anymore. 

Cause he used to want me in a way that made my heart fucking flutter. He used to want me in a way that proclaimed love was real. 

I promised to put myself first. 

I promised to love myself. 

I used to put myself first. 

I used to love myself more than I loved anyone else. 

I met him and fell down a landslide. 

Is it me wanting to get pleasure because it’s so easily accessible, or is it me wanting to get pleasure to erase those feelings, to take me to an out-of-body experience, to just make my brain empty and my body full? I want to be loved, and I want to be cared for. By him. But it’s not possible, not right now, perhaps not ever, just not in the way that I love and care for him. So I’m putting myself first. I will be organized, I will be on time, I will take my medication, I will make my bed and do yoga and see friends. I will have sex for pleasure and to fill that void. I believe that love just isn’t on the menu for me right now. Not right now. I know it will come, I vow it too. But I stop my beckoning. I hold off on the searching and the begging. I’m young. It’s about me.