barnmousecries

Latest Posts by barnmousecries

Oh ok so it turns out ive been borrowing grief from the future ! it turns out ive been preparing to lose the things i love rather than basking in the light of them while they last. Maybe i should nt do that

just in case no one told you, you did well this year. you don’t even realize it :( I’m proud of you, you should be proud of yourself too

A cis woman tells me that maybe she should transition to gain male privilege as I'm recovering from getting beaten up in the men's bathrooms.

I tell her to be my guest and give me a call when she gets her jaw broken, I always carry a first aid kit and a pepper spray.

She calls me a misogynistic asshole.

A cis man tells me that he'd sure love some T.

Gave him my prescription and best of luck with the constant shortages and getting denied.

He calls me a pussy.

I'm fighting for my life and reproductive rights. I get told to get off women's fights, that it's not about me, like I shed my womb after my first T shot.

I search for support groups for SA victims, and I'm stuck in the same “women/NBs only”. Still shooting my shot, send an application. I introduce myself. Never get a call back.

I go to a trans night. Say I go by he/him. Get told back “yeah, that's how we all start !” by a trans woman. I'm too exhausted, I get up and I leave.

I hang out with my friends, one of them drunkenly says masculinity is a prison we must learn to escape. She gets rows of applause. Back to drinking alone.

Yes I could explain it. But who'd you rather be ? A delusional girl or a man made threat ?Or it could be better, I could just not exist ! And we'd bleach my corpse and I'd become a casualty. Not an F, ot an M, a W for Wound and for Wrong.

I put a candle on a single cupcake, 2 years on HRT. I blow it in the dark. Curtains closed like casket.

thank you to trees and also rain

shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this

Quick shout out to skin!

For being soft and warm! Also, you contain horrors I cannot comprehend...

they’re called rabbits when they’re underground and they’re called bunnies when they break out from the earths crust

one day you’ll wake up at 9:30am on a Sunday w the love of ur life and you’ll make some coffee and pancakes and it’ll all be alright

Rare pity, mercy and compassion of the giants called humanity

Again, they come running to my call of distress

only to burrow in my skin and call me delicate

their stinger falling off upon entry

They want to peel off each layer to watch it grow back shiny and new.

They choke for me as I swallow their marbles but they won’t bleed for me

won’t breathe for me

and my humming bird heart won’t sway

nor listen to what you have to say

won’t cry as you break my bones

It’s crazy how low self-worth fucks with peoples lives

A repost of some of my writing…

Keep reading

Sometimes it's useful to look at your dialogue and ask yourself, "would a real human being talk like that?" But it's also good to ask the follow-up questions of "would the way a real human being talks sound good here" and "does this character actually talk like a real human being or are they weird about it."

Thinking about... Grieving the undead.

i love you fries i love you hash browns i love you roasted potatoes i love you mashed potatoes i love you potato chips i love you potato pancakes i love you potato croquettes i love you hasselback potatoes i love you tater tots i love you potatoes

every time I try to write something silly it's not long before things get mildly serious and the tone changes

but I want to channel my inner child and forget all that, I want to write something fun without overthinking

i saw a post on twitter by a european saying americans are fake for their random compliments to strangers and their general cheery demeanor and like no. no no no you don’t understand. if you get a random compliment from an american on the street about your outfit or whatever, that is 100% genuine. we mean it. we aren’t lying we are making a small but fleeting connection with you because our lives are shitty but the human condition is enduring. oh god i’m clutching my chest

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

let’s just stop time so i can read all my books without real life interfering 

I know it’s not much in the face of everything but I have been finding hope & resilience in palestinian poetry these past few weeks and I created a google drive file of poetry collections by palestinian poets that I will keep updating as I keep on reading. I also recommend checking out @fiercynn’s palestinian poets series for more poets + poetry available online

You’ve heard of one shots, now get ready for none shots! It’s when you think of an idea for a fic and then don’t write it

“simply remembering what it feels like to love creatures that aren’t human. A nameless sadness, the fading away of the birds. The fading away of the animals. How lonely it will be here, when it’s just us.”

— Charlotte McConaghy, Migrations

my heart is a ripe fruit rotting in my chest

you know you really love someone,

when you don't hate them for breaking your heart

Loop poetry from 2019

everyone: what's your goal in life?

me: to write a story so soul snatching, so gut wrenching and so devastatingly beautiful that it leaves you crying at 3am when you have a 8am lecture/shift and it inspires people to write entire essays, to write entire fanfics, mood boards and playlists based on it.

never related to authors being like "childhood is such a blessed innocent time", catch me with that jane eyre shit like "such dread as children only can feel" and "I then sat with my doll on my knee til the fire got low, glancing round occasionally to make sure nothing worse than myself haunted the shadowy room"