Experience Tumblr like never before
Severus: Fool me once, I’m gonna kill you
Severus: What the hell were you thinking?
Regulus: I heard releasing birds at a wedding is romantic!
Severus: You released OSTRICHES!
Severus: Hey, did you know as a kid I accidentally ate paper?
Narcissa: I feel like we've all done that at least once.
Bellatrix: I ate it too-
Narcissa: See?
Bellatrix:: -On purpose...
Severus & Narcissa: ...What?
Severus: What goes up but never comes down?
Narcissa: The amount of stress you're bringing this family.
Severus: Sleep is the body’s best safety mechanism.
Lucius: How so?
Severus: It keeps you from screwing up for 8 hours.
Bellatrix: Severus doesn’t look very happy.
Regulus: That's his happy. He's just a bitch.
Severus: I think my guardian angel drinks.
Severus, sniffling: Calm down, I’m probably not sick. It might just be allergies.
Regulus: Okay, tell me this, are you like, really tired?
Severus: I have depression, what do you think?
Regulus, watching Severus & Bellatrix panic : What's going on?
Lucius: Severus is having a midlife crisis and Bellatrix is just having a crisis.
Regulus: Severus, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?
Severus, naked in Regulus's bed: No, I absolutely do not.
Regulus, already taking off his clothes: Fuck... Me neither.
Lucius: Severus just said "I have an appetite for destruction" and then he reached down and untied my shoe.
Severus: I regret getting dragged into your heterosexual tomfoolery.
Severus: Where's Narcissa?
Bellatrix: Don't worry, I'll find her.
Bellatrix, shouting: Lucius sucks!
Narcissa, distantly: Lucius is the best person ever! Fuck you!
Bellatrix: Found her.
Sirius: I mean. Severus's just standing there now.
Sirius: Waiting for me, I guess.
Sirius: But it's okay, I think he's pretty much settled down.
Remus: Settled down?
Sirius: Well, he only stabbed me once.
Regulus: Truth or dare?
Severus: Truth.
Regulus: How many hours have you slept this week?
Severus:
Severus: Dare.
Regulus: Go to sleep.
Severus: I don't like this game.
Severus: Hey guys I just found a new song I really like-
Regulus: Is it about death?
Severus: No.
Bellatrix: Is it about drugs?
Lucius: Is it about sex?
Severus: NO- it's about happiness and peace and-
Regulus, Bellatrix, and Lucius:
Bellatrix: Hey Severus, Narcissa just broke my seashell lamp.
Severus: Neat. I’m gonna die alone.
Bellatrix: Okay, you win.
James: Severus... you've been cuddling with me for over and hour now.
Severus: *muffled* mm hmmm :)
James: Fuck. I should be annoyed but you're adorable.
Regulus: What did Severus do this time?
Bellatrix: More like WHO did Severus do this time?
Narcissa: What did you two do?
Severus:
Regulus:
Narcissa: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.
Narcissa: What do you call disobeying the law?
The Squad: A hobby.
Narcissa: *crosses her arms*
The Squad: That we do not engage in.
Severus, grinning: I have a knife!
Narcissa: Put it down, Severus.
Severus: Make me! *sprints away*
Narcissa: Hey Severus, do you have any hobbies?
Severus: Swimming..
Narcissa: Really? That’s cool. I never expected you to-
Severus: In a pool of self hatred and regret.
Severus: If looking good was a crime, you’d be a law abiding citizen.
Severus: I wish I could control wasps and bees to sting my enemies.
Lily: You’re too young to have enemies.
Severus: You don’t even know.
Sirius: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!?
Severus: Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.
Severus: Look, Bellatrix, it's the third time this week you had a mental breakdown and its Monday.
Lucius: How the hell are you still alive?
Severus: Honestly, I’m just as confused as you are.
Regulus: It’s funny how well you and Severus get along. Didn’t he hate you at first?
Lucius: Severus hates everybody at first. It’s his way of reaching out to people.
Narcissa: So what, now I’m just supposed to do everything that Severus does? What if he jumped off a cliff?
Lucius: If Severus were to jump off a cliff, he would have done his due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry. So yes, if you see Severus jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.
Narcissa: You jump off a cliff.
Lucius: Gladly, provided Severus did first.