Experience Tumblr like never before
Salim: [takes a deep breath] Today is gonna be a good day
Salim: [deep breath] There’s going to be no bullshit
Salim: [opens the door to see Jason standing there]
Jason: My shoes are on the roof again
Salim: [closes the door]
Zain: can I have a cookie?
Jason: what did Salim say?
Zain: he said no
Jason: so why would I say yes?
Zain: because he’s not the boss of you
Jason, already taking out the cookie jar: you can have two
Salim: So.
Salim: I'm in love.
Salim: with Jason.
Salim: I'm in love with Jason.
Nick:
Nick: Our Jason?
Salim: Yes?
Salim: . . .thoughts?
Nick: And prayers.
Nick: so… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Salim recently.
Jason: no, Nicky, its not what it looks like, I swear.
Nick: oh really? so no reason for me to be jealous?
Jason: no! you’re the only one for me.
Nick: is that so?
Jason: i promise! Salim and I are just dating, okay? He’s my boyfriend.
Nick: so there are no best-friends-feelings involved?
Jason: you are still my one and only best friend! He’s just the love of my life, nothing more!
Nick: but I’m still the platonic love of your life, right?
Jason: of course bro!
Nick: bro...
Salim: what the-
Salim, whose first language isn’t English: Hello! I’m sorry if my English isn’t very good.
Jason, whose first language is English: Hte fuckign.
Jason: my boyfriend’s mad i haven’t replied to his post yet, like hold on shawty i’m tryna figure out how to spell georges
Jason: three likes and i'll run Clarisse through with a sword
Jason: *likes his own post*
Eric: *likes the post*
Rachel: >:0
Nick:
Nick: *likes the post*
Jason: okay this was a joke but now i just feel bad post cancelled
Eric: I can’t mansplain manipulate manwhore my way out of this one boys.
Eric: Manslaughter it is
Jason: Yeah, don’t worry Salim, we had a great time at the pumpkin patch! isn’t that right Zain?
*a pumpkin strapped in the backseat*
Jason: I’m gonna have to call you back
Jason: I would die for you
Salim: I would die for you too
Jason, suddenly very emotional: Please don’t
*Rachel has broken up with them*
Eric: Wow.. Rachel really hates us.
Nick: Maybe she's homophobic?
Eric: We're not a couple Nick.
Nick: We're not?
Rachel: You're not?
the year is 2003
Salim: [trying to bond with his boyfriend] hey Jason! i got us tickets for this new underground band, i think they're called Michael- Michael Romance?
Jason:
Jason: YOU GOT US TICKETS TO FUCKING MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE?!?
Nurse: You scored a 25/27 on your mental health questionnaire.
Jason: So that means I'm good at mental health, right?
*Crisis Counselor enters the room*
Jason: Ah, shit.
Jason: I just offered Salim the world, so I don’t know where y’all are gonna live, but it can’t be here
Jason’s whole character arc summed up
Jason: I suck at apologies, so...Unfuck you or whatever.
Nick, holding a deck of cards: Who wants a tarot reading!?
Eric: Those are Pokemon cards
Nick, holding a card: You got a Squirtle, it means fuck you
Jason, depressed, lying on the floor: I just feel like a noodle
Salim joining him on the floor and hugging him: Good, I like pasta
Supermassive games: there is only one thing worse than being dead.
*tears off another piece of paper to reveal “eric being dead”*
Supermassive games: boom.
The fandom: Eric
Supermassive games: no-
Salim: Have you guys seen Jason?
Rachel: No, haven’t seen him since the storm started
Nick: Since the sto- JASON NO!
Meanwhile, Jason standing in the middle of a thunderstorm with a shovel raised high: STRIKE ME DOWN ZEUS, YOU DON’T HAVE THE BALLS
Salim: Okay, truth or dare?
Jason: Truth
Salim: How many hours have you slept this week?
Jason: ...Dare
Salim: Go to bed
Jason: I’ve decided that I don’t like this game
Nick: Please tell me you didn’t kidnap him, Jason?
Jason, carrying Zain: I didn’t kidnap him
Nick: Oh thank god
Jason: I adopted him
Nick: What happened to my fun girlfriend?
Rachel: I was never fun, you take that back.
Salim: So, what was your childhood like?
Jason: Oh, you mean my tragic backstory that you must be at least level 3 friendship to unlock?
Salim: ...What level am I at?
Jason: 10. So it all started-
Jason: idk bro, i should probably kiss him
Eric:
Nick:
Rachel:
Salim:
Jason: what?
-eric interrogating Salim-
Eric: Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole, truth, and nothing but the truth?
Salim: no
Eric:
eric, into his walkie talkie: what do I do now?
Jason: You're wearing makeup.
Salim: Oh, it's just eyeliner. Do you like it?
Jason: Looks... okay, I guess.
*later*
Jason, sobbing into Nick's shoulder: IT LOOKED SO GOOD!
Nick: I know, Jason.
Jason: I'M SO GAY!
Nick: I know, Jason.
Jason: *extremely drunk, starts colouring Salim with a highlighter*
Salim: Erm... What are you doing?
Jason: Highlighting you.
Salim: Yes, I see that... Why?
Jason: Cuz you're important.
Eric: I don’t like your accusatory tone.
Rachel: Well, I’d use a different tone, but I’m trying to accuse you of something.
Jason: We're playing scrabble. It's a nightmare
Salim: Scrabble? I like scrabble!
Nick: Not when you're playing with Rachel. She puts words like 'ephemeral' and we put words like 'dog'
Interviewer: what kind of guy do you prefer?
Rachel: my boyfriend.
Interviewer: how about you? what kind of girl do you like?
Eric: Rachel’s boyfriend.
*nick and eric start dating*
Rachel, bewildered: What the hell just happened? Jason: Something gay lmao Rachel: You’re gay
Salim: for me!