Hogwarts Houses - Blog Posts

Im playing Hogwarts Legacy (finally) and Sebastian Swallow is, like, my dream man. I love him. I’ve always said that slytherin boys are my type, and here he is, the blueprint.

Don’t get me wrong I LOVE simp Gryffindor x nonchalant Slytherin, but.

But, like, it’s kinda overdone, and I think it would add more complexity and depth into ships (aswell as tension) if we did;

simp (who’s never been a simp before) Slytherin X nonchalant and oblivious (who’s never been loved back)) Gryffindor

Shrewd Slytherin

We are Slytherin. We are green and silver. We are the crushing of the waves. We are shadows and currents.

We are the calm before a storm and suggestive smirks in class. We are the legends that linger forever. Sometimes our tounges are sharper than our knives. Sometimes our smiles are more cruel than our revenge. Our condolences. We are the heroes that lived too long. We are the Kings and Queens of Kings and Queens. And heavy weighs the crown. We are the moon in the sky and the snow on the ground. We are the ballet dancers that rock. We are the northern lights in the polar night. We are beautiful and sharp and crystal clear.

And breakable.

We embrace our shadows and keep our chin high. And sometimes the dark comes seeping in. Sometimes our own weapons turn against us. Sometimes it’s hard to keep the head clear. To focus. Sometimes our control crumbles. And is taken away. Sometimes it’s impossible to hold on.

Sometimes I realise my mistake. And sometimes I ponder if I am one. And then they are there. Screaming: Yes. Yes, you are… Someone who can’t even do this simple task.

Sometimes I hide from them. In my room. I can hear them scream and yell downstairs. Upstairs. On the other side of the door. And sometimes I am happy that I am so lonely. Because at least I don’t have to listen to them. And sometimes I think: Why bother? At all?

But then there you are: The calm after the storm. The boulder in the stream. My rock. And your voice is soft:

“Want to feel alive?”

And I chuckle. Because you have come to know me so well. And you take my hand and lead me away from them.

And we conquer the world. We hoist our colours and take a gulp of freedom. We are the snake with its cunning and wisdom. We are the sea. A roaring and a calm. And we will write history and prophecies.

Because we want to.

{However, please, don’t push me.}

But imagine...

Sad gryffindors trying to cheer up by telling themselves over and over again that they are brave and that they will get through it. That they will never give up and that they know that they can do it. Sitting in the common room and starring into the fire , reminding themselves that after every night comes a new dawn. They would snuggle themselves into the big, red, fluffy blanket that lie around during winter time and wait for the house elves to tell them that they do a good job. In return the elves would beam at them , get the some hot cocoa and scones and tell them what a kind soul they are. That they can cry, that they don’t have to be strong all the time even though that it what their house is known for.

Helpless hufflepuffs that are curled up in the herbology room close their eyes to inhale the soothing scent of flowers and herbs and spices. Magical plants that shower them in golden, flying drops and wipe away their tears. Fireflies would light up the dark in the room and the flowers would start to glow. The old plants would start to hum and to sing and make the pain of being at a loss go away. Hufflepuffs being comforted by they steady pulse of nature breathing in and out. Hufflepuffs showing their vulnerable side to magical flowers that would bury them in little, colourful pedals and tickle them to make them smile that beautiful smile again.

Clueless Ravenclaws . So when they have a block in their mind they accio their broom into their room and go for a flight just before the dawn. They are joined by testhrals and after the battle of hogwarts almost everyone can see them. They would be in the middle of the pack and be escorted to a safe place in the woods where they could sit down in silence and listen to the sounds of the forest. The creatures would lean into the pupils and comfort them with the presence. Ravenclaws being able to let go and fully relax and start thinking like a normal person again. The animals watching over them and making sure they get back safely.

Lonely Slytherins, when the pressure of making sure to always be the first and the best threatens to break them they sneak out of the castle at night and go down to the lake. They would sit in silence under the nightsky and stars and listen to the swapping of the waves. The merfolk would always watch them and when they deemed the time to be right they would swim to the students and take them by the hand, pull them into the water and swim with them. They would give them gillyweed and they could dive into the dark depths where mystical, magical creatures roamed and glowed and the squid would make sure that they are always safe and they would only be able to leave the lake when they were truly at ease and the voices in their heads were gone.

MAGICAL CREATURES BEING THERE TO HELP THE STUDENTS. MAGICAL BEAST BEING SWEETHEARTS AND CARING DARLINGS TO MAKE SURE THAT THESE TINY , LITTLE HUMAN BEINGS WOULD HAVE A BETTER LIVE THEN THEY HAD.

sander sides Harry Potter au

There’s not much to headcannon about when it comes to which houses they would be sorted into because they already told us what they wanted there houses be

Patton is a hufflepuff 

Logan is ravenclaw

Roman is gryffindor 

And Virgil is the reason I made this post I headcannon that in a hogwarts setting he would be a squib maybe a groundskeeper in training that’s why he feels out of place and why he is so insecure 

houses

there is an interesting tension to be had when both the malfoy and weasley families have been sorted into their respective hogwarts house for generations upon generations, and we come to find that despite surface-level appearances: draco isn't the most slytherin of slytherins, and ron isn't the most gryffindor of gryffindors

back into my hp and retj obsession and wondering how to sort the characters and i think i’ve figured them out (note: this will follow the original french!retj characterizations) 

romeo: gryffindor. no contest there ha juliette: hufflepuff, but her personal choice would be gryffindor, which the hat would probably accept. girl is brave as hell, drinking fake death potions and all. benvolio: hufflepuff all the way precious bby mercutio: slytherin. not a typical one obvs, but still. either that, or he’d want to be slytherin so he can get his family off his back. also think about all the puns he’d make!!! and the dynamic with the other rois du monde!!!! tybalt: gryffindor, although to placate his family he’d beg the hat to put him in slytherin. imagine the drama that will cause if he turned out a gryffindor.  le prince: slytherin. his le pouvoir is too cynical for him not to be. also, it runs in the family.  paris: slytherin. not because he’s a dick (depends on the production and all) but political ambition and a family resemblance goes a long way (i headcanon paris as a cunning diplomat and good with the intricacies of politics). lord capulet: either gryffindor or hufflepuff. you can make the case of him being slytherin too (i see it more with his hungarian counterpart).  lady capulet: either gryffindor (french) or slytherin (hungarian). socialite, extroverted, slightly shallow.  lady montague: ravenclaw OR slytherin for her iron will and general badassery. though as always, depends on the production. my headcanon puts lord montague in gryffindor. i suppose that’s where romeo gets his gryffindor-ness.  the nurse: hufflepuff. homely and loyal, but immensely practical, which i think is a hufflepuff characteristic.  montague youths: most of them are gryffindors/hufflepuffs (lady montague is the exception because she is not a montague by blood but by marriage) because they seem more fun-loving than the capulets, and much more prone to reckless behavior.  capulet youths: now this is where it gets weird because i see them more as slytherins/ravenclaws, as they seem much more aristocratic, cunning, and restrained than the montagues, but it doesn’t jive much with the sortings for the heads. probably the auxiliary capulet cousins (like tybalt’s father and their family, including lady capulet) are more slytherin (i definitely headcanon tybalt’s father as a slytherin). also, if you’re going by the hungarian production, though, the capulets are definitely hardcore slytherins. 

Harry Potter + Hogwarts Common Rooms

There’s not really a reason for this but almost every fandom has a Harry Potter au and I was curious to see what house people think Gregory would be in

The most Ravenclaw thing I have ever done is spending the whole night studing a subject that my friend casually brought up in the conversation because I wanted to prove that the point he had made was wrong. And when I finished digging and was confirmed that I was right, I was too tired to actually prove it to my friend and just forgot about the whole thing.

Ravenclaw: Yeah, I have this test tomorrow, but why study if you can just spend 13 hours learning how to play the mandoline

Same Ravenclaw the next day, having got an F for the test: Well, shit happens

Same Ravenclaw: *plucking the strings of a mandoline*

Is stealing still a crime if you only have one banana in your cart and the queue is unfairly long?

- A tired and hungry Ravenclaw at the cash register

Ravenclaw is the kind of person who loves studing but hates school just because nobody is gonna tell me what to do

"We're not on the same page because we have different books"

- A Ravenclaw being thoughtful

You are a true Ravenclaw if you know the struggles of sneaking to the kitchen at 5 am to have coffee without waking up your parents. It's freaking art!

Shut the fuck up, birds!

-A Ravenclaw at 4 am, watching buzzfeed vids

That thought at 3 am like "Maybe I don't need sleep... Maybe I could just drink three cups of coffee... And tomorrow I'll be able to fall asleep at ten pm... What a plan, gal" Totally Ravenclaw

A Ravenclaw is a kind of person who reads in trams to avoid people communicating with him

I love coincidences

Don’t look at the character ai at the top.

Do you think the concept of Slytherpuff (Slytherin and Hufflepuff) is adorable or is it just… not your cup of tea?

I’m just curious, that’s all.

Honestly I love all of the Hogwarts house pairings if done well. They all have their own fun dynamics.

My favourite is Slytherclaw because of how similar they are. Slytherpuff is also cute and adorable but I am kind of bored with the whole good x evil paring (or the sun/moon paring or whatever it's called). Give me the Dark Academia pair (Slytherclaw) and the Light Academia pair (Gryffinpuff).

What do you think of how Slytherin was flirting with the other houses and got flirted back?

I can imagine Hufflepuff didn’t realize they flirted with them and thought they were just complementing them.

I think Slytherin just randomly flirts with the other houses to see how they react.

Ravenclaw is either clueless and doesn't get that they were flirting or knows Slytherin is flirting and deliberately acts as if they don't know. If they know Slytherin is trying to get a reaction out of them and would rather let them suffer in silence than anything.

Gryffindor either flirts back to see how Slytherin will react or gets irritated at their constant fake flirtations.

Hufflepuff doesn't get that Slytherin is flirting and ends up flirting back accidentally in a way that makes Slytherin lose their mind.

As a Slytherclaw stan, I believe Slytherin and Ravenclaw don't flirt in public but are really good at it behind the scenes.

Gryffindor: did Ravenclaw just use "stupefy" on you?

Slytherin: me and my girl don't argue, she bash my head with a rock and I walk it off like a man.

Hufflepuff: *sneezes*

Slytherin: here *gives handkerchief*

Hufflepuff: you are so nice!

Slytherin: NO I AM NOT. I didn't want any germs from you. That's why I gave you a handkerchief.

Hufflepuff: :)

Ravenclaw: *gets papercut* ouch

Slytherin: *puts bandage on* I fucking hate you. Why do you hurt yourself all the time?

Ravenclaw: *whispers* how did you get in my house?

Slytherin: Gryffindor is stupid.....an idiot....useless

Someone: yeah, I agree. Gryffindor sucks

Slytherin: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT GRYFFINDOR?

(Headcanon: Slytherin is a soft Tsundere)

What would you do in a trolley problem? Hit the 5 people in your way or save them and hit a spectator?

Hufflepuff: I would not like to hit anyone but if I had to.....the spectator. Because killing one person is better than 5.

Gryffindor: I would hit the 5 people, it would be wrong to kill an innocent bystander.

Ravenclaw: try to stop the trolley somehow or else jump off the trolley, I can't handle responsibility.

Slytherin: hit the 5 people, then reverse the trolley and hit the spectator. No witness, no crime.

Slytherin and Ravenclaw on a date:

*Gryffindor spying on them with Hufflepuff*

Hufflepuff: this is so creepy, why are we here?

Gryffindor: why did you come then?

Hufflepuff: you told me we are getting ice cream and feed ducks in the pond!

Slytherin: they are spying on us aren't they?

Ravenclaw: ofc, hiding behind the lamp post won't help Gryffindor

Slytherin: do you know how we can scare them?

Ravenclaw: *nods* I am ready

*both pull out knives at the same time*

Ravenclaw: honey, are you ready for our next murder spree?

Slytherin: You bet I am. I heard someone following us.

Ravenclaw: the last victims are not even found yet....

Gryffindor looks at Hufflepuff: this is the moment.

Hufflepuff: what? I can't hear anything and why are they pulling out knives are they going to......

Gryffindor: RUN!!!!!!RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!!

Hufflepuff: Ahhhhhh....all I wanted was to eat free ice cream!

Slytherin: they are not coming back

Ravenclaw: No.

Slytherin: why do you have a knife anyways? As a surgeon I have knives all over me.

Ravenclaw raises eyebrow: you never know when they come in handy...let's go I want cotton candy......NOW

Slytherin: *nervous laughter* you are so cute.

Ravenclaw: I have become accustomed to people being annoying. I am getting better dealing with them after I moved in with my new roommates. They are very unpredictable people---

Hufflepuff: ----Hey give me my pillow back, it's my favourite!!!!!

Gryffindor: I am not giving you this back, I need a pillow, I didn't bring one!

Slytherin: Give me the pillow Gryffindor!

*Gryffindor throws the pillow at Slytherin*

Slytherin: Here, take it *gives it back to Hufflepuff*

Gryffindor: I thought you were on my side! You betrayed me!

Slytherin: I just love watching you get mad.

Gryffindor: How am I supposed to sleep now without a pillow?

Slytherin: we can share one.

Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw: .....

Slytherin: why are you making this a huge deal? I sleep during the day and you sleep during the night, it's simple.

Gryffindor: Oh I thought you wanted to fuck....

Slytherin: you wouldn't?

Gryffindor: unless you want me to.

Hufflepuff: ....what is happening.....

Ravenclaw: Told you they are unpredictable, did you think this will be going in that direction?

Gryffindor turns to Ravenclaw: and you! Are you crazy? Who are you always talking to? What are you? Dora the Explorer?

Gryffindor: Is Ravenclaw alright? What's wrong with them?

Hufflepuff: what do you mean by that, they look completely fine!

Gryffindor: they are literally crying in corner with a cup of coffee since half an hour.

Hufflepuff: we all cry sometimes out of the blue...

Gryffindor: really? I DON'T. Hey Slytherin can you talk to Ravenclaw? You seem like the only person who understands them

Slytherin: *shrugs in a nonchalant way* Okay

(Walks to Ravenclaw, bends down and asks softly)

Slytherin: are you alright, buddy?

Ravenclaw: I finished a book and....

Slytherin: and your favourite character died?

Ravenclaw: YES AND I'M DEPRESSED. WHY DO THE GOOD CHARACTERS DIE?

Slytherin: and was this character a morally grey anti hero?

Ravenclaw:......how do you know.

Slytherin: I get it I have been there *patting their head*

Gryffindor: did I just witness Slytherin showing affection?

Hufflepuff: *squee*

(I know we all love the Hufflepuff×Slytherin but....I LOVE Ravenclaw×Slytherin way more!!!! It's like two very similar people but yet so different. And THE POTENTIAL CHEMISTRY!!!)

Sorting monster characters into Hogwarts houses pt 2.

Grimmer is a Hufflepuff at heart my beloved

Sorting Monster characters into Hogwarts houses pt 1.

Trust me. I know what I’m talking about.

(No, Tenma is not a Gryffindor and no, Johan is not a Slytherin. Let’s stop sorting characters only because they’re good or evil)

Not all villians are Slytherin and not all heroes are Gryffindor.

I could consider Tenma a Hufflepuff but he has some attitudes and he takes some decisions that are quite unacceptable in the Hufflepuff philosophy.