Enemies With Benefits - Blog Posts

Cigarette and Beer

"Hellooo? Anyone there?"

"...No."

"What the— wait, did you get yourself stuck in a trap? Wait a second," the hero couldn't stop their giggles, "in your own lair, and was that meant for me! How did it even happen, pssshh"

"Stop laughing and get me out of here."

I'm trying to get to 500. Pls follow if you'd like more

I had the dumbest fukin idea but consider?!! We all love the hero and villain being soulmates kay? But what what if they are not, they just have the same soulmate. Like person C randomly finds both the city's most famous hero and infamous villain vying for their attention. Living that y/n life cause they're their soulmate.

Is your villain the type to nobly give them up cause they deserve better. OR,

*Hero gives them flowers and chocolates* *Villain finds 4-foot Bouquet and cratefull chocolates to one up them* again and again until they're stuck at c's lawndoor together because they were both running to enter first with a teddy bears bigger than them screaming "get your vanilla ass away from them you wet cabbage" as they push the hero face away from them while struggling too free themselves.

C just sighs in disappointment while sipping their morning coffee and probably goes on a childhood friends to lovers arc with the boy next door who eventually cuts them out from the door

Kindly follow for more thrash on yo dash

*Villain calls hero in the middle of the night*

Hero-: umm hey?

Villain-: *sniffs* I watched a show and now liquid keeps falling from my eyes? Is it an allergy? Infection? Cancer?!

Hero-: Do... Do you mean tears! :0

Villain-: is it terminal?

But seriously my eyes have been leaking this gross gluelike thing since yesterday and I'm pretty sure I'm about to die. Follow for updates or assume disaster if I don't post

The hero shows up to foil the villains plan but instead end up fighting that other hero, their rival, who also showed up to fight them. While the vilain presumably drinks a margarita, both confused, amused and carrying out their plan before their bickering ends.

A: "I'll handle handle this, you can go home and bake cookies or something."

B: "Really?And tell me how you plan to fight a supervillain. The power of friendship?"

A: *sigh* "Can we just be civil about this."

B: "No we cannot you stole my binkin' promotion"

A: "Fine.I'll let you help me defeat them. Deal?

B: "bish, excuse me."

Elf is on the shelf, follow for trash to be on the dash

The stage between enemies and lovers where they VEHEMENTLY deny their feelings is appreciated a lot, but it still deserves more appreciation like who thought like :/ so these two people okay? And get this they hate each other, kay? But, and here's where it gets crazy they start having FEELINGS for each other! And they do not want to!! Crazy! ;/ Like who thought a person just failing so badly at insulting thier crush will be the funniest shit ever?! AND THEY WERE RIGHT!!

The internal monologue is just like

"look at them humming to themselves! Aww—! Like an idiot! Foolish!! Disgusting shit!!!"

"I wanna do things to them... I mean Violence! Murder! That's what I wanna do, target practice, fish bait!... And now I'm talking to myself "

Kindly follow for more mostly good content on your dash

Enemies to lovers where one's heart is beating fast af cause they find the other attractive but when asked they are like "tis' tis is my unbridled rage for them/you!! Dumbass!! This is the sound of bloodthirst bish, totally just the blood kind of thirst hrmph!"

OR

Their heart is beating cause of fear/panic but they'd rather chew their own leg of then admit it so when out of excuses they go, "it's cause... Um, I found you... Hot? Yup that's it. I'm just into ya. Nothing suspicious here haha"

Kindly follow for more mostly good content

I see your 'Hero breaks the villain out of jail cause they miss them.' and I raise you, 'But it's nowhere near the first time. There aren't even any heroes anymore cause they're both wanted supervillains. Each of them would have achieved world domination ten times over by now if they didn't keep foiling each other's plans. The prison doesn't even install cameras or security anymore because the insurance company has added a will not refund for damages incurred during a hero-villiain roleplay clause to their terms. Just two idiot maniacs fighting and insulting thier way through supervillainy and giving the city hell'

Kindly follow for more mostly good content

Enemies to lovers-: taken by surprise in a ball edition

A fancy ball but one party uses it gain advantage and surrounding everybody

Everyone rushing to loosen their ties and take of their jackets and tearing slits in their ball gowns and pulling out the hidden weapons that they definitely weren't supposed to bring

Bonus points if one pulls one out from behind their waistband and make eye contact with the other pulling one strapped on their thigh

Group combat when someone shoots at the ceiling to make the chandelier fall on one of them and the other runs to save them seconds before the impact,

Bonus points if it's the villainous one and they do the annoyed 'I can't believe I'm doing this' growl before running

Post Saving eye contact

When they're fighting and they perfectly matched and in sync and you can just see they'll be such a power couple.

During combat eye contact and banter

I just really like eye contact okay

When one is about to fall back during combat and their opponent grabs their wrist and/or their teammate comes up behind them to catch them.

Please follow and reblog

Hero and villain are enemies but somehow end up co-parenting an angry gay youth (yes, I'm self inserting okay) who was a struggling street kid or smth (bonus points if they're also less than a decade older)

"Greetings, parental figure. This billionaire d*ck" "Language. " " is evading taxes and illegally dumping toxic waste. Do ya mind, you know stabbing him."

"..."

"... a little?" "I guess I could do that."

"Villain, you are ruining our child! How could you teach them that!"

"Urgh,‌ what's with the stick up your—"

"Language."

"Language! And I mean that it's ineffective as it doesn't solve the problem. I got this bro, I'm already documenting all his actions to conclusively prove his misconduct to the government." *Teenager raises eyebrow* "... And than maybe throw him in a crowded public sqare without protection. "

"Woahahha! I didn't know you could be so cool. Also, we are absolutely not in anyway Bros. Do not call me that again. Ever."

.....

(Part 1)

Pls follow and reblog, I'll be back with more

When enemies have to work together to infiltrate some grand party and act like a couple to blend in. Ah, good stuff.

Dancing in order to spy on everyone and one of them keeps getting too invested on someone they're watching and end up too close to the other.

"Someone's coming! What should we do."

"Hmm, I wonder. What could two young attractive people be doing here in this dark hall."

"ahh..."

One is walking by a broom closet door and the other's hand darts out and pulls them in, putting a finger to their lips.

"You two are such a cute couple." A *wraps their hand around B's waist*

B *smiling pointedly* "Yeah we are."

The villain's mom walks in and catches Hero and villain in a uh, compromising position, (they were threatening each other!! Nothing else,,) the villain gets nervous and trying to quickly make up an excuse, and before hero could say anything, splutter out they are dating.

The hero tries to deny this but you see, the mother is the warmest person they've ever seen and her look of sheer hopefulness and the arrows of love she's shooting at them kind of makes it impossible. Plus, watching the villain be a complete mama's child as she croons at them and inquires about what they've been eating is very enjoyable.

What follows is a week of hero being infuriated at fake dating and slightly awestruck as the villain is babied and ordered around by their mother.

Pls help grow by follow

The villain and hero anyhow end up in a place where the only people they know are each other and have to find someone/something to get out. They both say don't want to be near one another, but one of them gets separation anxiety and follow the other absolutely everywhere, while making up more and more ridiculous excuses and pretending to hate it. The other, sees right through it, but let's them do their thing and enjoy it.

The hero refuses to celebrate their birthday with their friends because they think the villain is planning something and they have to find out what. When the villain finds out about this they put their schemes aside to plan a party for hero. They lead hero on a treasure hunt and when hero thinks they're finally walking into the destination of villains plans, they are surprised by all their friends and family gathered for their birthday (All of whom agreed to help villain because quite frankly, they ship it.)

Pls follow to help me grow

It is common knowledge that the villain has a crush on the hero. Anytime a ragged looking civilian comes to hero's workplace, the receptionist points them at hero's office without questions. They frequently visit hero to complaint like they're asking to see a war crime's manager.

" Your villain tried to blow up my establishment!!!"

"FOR THE LAST TIME! they are not my villain!"

*angry white women walks towards hero* "oh for god's sake what did they do now!"

"Can you please keep your villain in check." "They're not my *sigh* I'll try. "

Pls follow to help me grow

Hero x Villain mean girls au where citizens have a to wear villains colour one day of the week as show of allegiance. Wearing any other colour that is an offense that is punished greatly. A resistance movement grows where people wear the hero's colour on that day.

"I'm only fighting these (Eldritche horror levels of danger) for you because I want to kill you myself. Don't think I'm trying to save you or care about you or anything. I totally totally don't." —the enemies to lovers dynamic we all love to see.

Pls follow to help me grow

One day hero walks in and completely gives up. They just don't care anymore. What's the point of stopping the villain today is if they'll have to do it again tomorrow.

The villain now has wrap their head around this fact and after (struggling with it) ask hero out on a road trip of self discovery because "it's no fun without them' *whiny voice* that escalates into bonding experiences and unsolicited character growth