Experience Tumblr like never before
I've spoken to my ex every night since his first day of work...We've spoken over the phone twice. Last night/this morning (from 23.30 to like, 3 ish) and two nights ago from like, 1 am to almost 5... His voice is so damn fucking familiar cuz we used to call at night and when we woke up and he would sing me to sleep and when I've been saying I’m tired...he just sings, really badly (cuz he rlly cant sing that well, but its still so...cute) and like it kinda just hurts but in my mind I'm so tired to even say anything and it just feels so nice and so...normal. My friend asked if I wanted him back and I didn’t know what to say cuz...yeah I do but at the same time I don’t. Its because I'm so sick of him, but all I want is to be able to fall asleep on his chest, his hand playing with my hair, listening to his heartbeat, tapping my fingers on his chest to the beat of "Bam Bam" by Camila Cabello and Ed Sheeran while its light outside but he has his shutters closed...and its just so peaceful. Just him murmuring that he loves me...and I'm so tired to even take it in but I say it back because that’s how I feel, with my whole heart. I hate that I can remember every single day I spent with him. I miss holding his hand, I miss hugging him and breathing in his scent that I got so damn used to. I miss him, but not in any way you would expect. I miss when he used to come over and mess around with my skateboard in my hallway on the rug. I miss how he would always try to pick me up and that I could feel his arms shaking. I miss him kissing me, how full his lips feel on mine. I miss moments where I would quote something from a show or movie he really liked and how he would kiss me and tell me how much he loved me. I thought I was over him. I thought I’d be able to talk to him easily without intrusive thoughts. I guess I was really wrong. I even miss our song...