Experience Tumblr like never before
Jingle Bells!
Batman yells!
Jason Todd is dead-
Dick is fired-
Tim is Tired
And Damian is mad.
OH!
swinging through Gotham-
looking for some crime
Gonna make some criminals
shit their pants tonight.
Scaring petty thefts.
defusing a bomb-
Joker has outdone himself
and now Timmy is gone-
OH!
Jingle claps
Batman snapped
That's a lot of kids-
Oh my god
please help this man
he might have an addiction-
OH!
Jingle hoes
There Grayson goes
wait- nevermind he's back
Tim's health at steak
he needs a break
so let him hit the sac
OH!
Jingle fun
Dami's done
but he loves them nonetheless
Jason shot
Batman "I think the fUCK NOT"
so he's the dissapointmenntttttt
THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT!
Damian: Give it back, Todd!
Jason, holding a batarang over his head: What are you gonna do? Stab me?
Damian: Pulls out throwing knife yes.
Jason: wait, what?
Damian: stabs him
Jason: You little B*tch!
Bruce: appears Hey, no swearing.
Jason: Demon just stabbed me!
Bruce: Damian, what did I tell you about stabbing your brothers?
Damian: sighs don't stab your brothers...
Batman: phone rings "Hello?"
Tim: "DadJasonjustshottheguninthehouseandnoweverythingisinabsoluteanarchypleasecomesaveme" dodges vase "oh my god, DAMIAN! GO PUT THE TIGER BACK!"
Justice Legue: ...
Batman: "Wait, slow down. Jason did what? Damian has a Tiger?"
Tim: "Do you really need to ASK? THERE'S A TIGER IN THE HOUSE, BRUCE!"
Batman: "I'll be home soon. Is everyone okay?"
Tim: "My mental stability isn't but I think their fine-" BANG "Nevermind, Damian's been shot."
Batman: "Where is Alfred?"
Tim: "Silently watching us in the corner of the room." pause of silence "OH GOD, THERE'S A FIRE! I gotta go."
click
Batman: Emergency. I have to leave.
Superman, that heard everything with Super-hearing: ... Right. So-
Bruce: Who's going to help me take down Superman?
batchildren™: crickets
Bruce: Really? None of you? You're my kids!
Jason, from the back: We're adopted!
Bruce: Damian isn't.
Damian: I'm dating Superman's son, I can't kill Jon's dad.
Everyone else: ...
Bruce: Tim?
Tim: I'm actually dating Kon...
Bruce:... Jason?
Jason: Fuck you, old man. I just don't like you.
Bruce: Dick, tell me you aren't dating someone from the superfamily, too.
Dick: Nope.
Bruce: sigh of relief
Dick: Only Wally!
Bruce, realizing all of his kids are dating the pupils of the colleagues he dislikes most: I'm gonna go take a nap...