Brain Dump - Blog Posts

I think ppl tend to brush over the loneliness of brain trauma and how isolating it is to be recovering from a tbi (traumatic brain injury)

I've been in recovery for 2yrs and something I don't think ppl fully understand is how when ur trying to “move on” and “go back to normal”, your body doesn't move like your body anymore.

It doesn't feel like your body anymore.

There is nothing more devastating than trying live your life in a body that doesn't feel like yours or work like the body you once had. Like how tf do you expect me to move on when my limbs don't feel like my limbs?!

You're left mourning the death of the body you once had and no one else sees or knows how disconnected from yourself you feel.

Brain damage sucks

They gonna beat the shit outta each other LAKDAKJFSKF

your discord pfp and your tumblr pfp are locked in a room together. what happens?

marion kennedy.

marion kennedy

“i'm marion, but my friends call me mari” everyone calls her mari, actually. she doesn't really like being called "marion" that's reserved for her oldest brother or father.

full name leak: marion aurora evangeline kennedy. her father wanted to name her prunella. thank GOD for her mother.

march 9 !! pisces <3

she's super popular at her school, at least with the Socs she knows everyone and everyone knows her.

her schedule looks something like this: AP English, AP World History, AP Latin, AP Physics Electricity & Magnetism, Chamber Choir, Chamber Orchestra, Gym.

doesn't have a math class because she has already taken all the possible courses.

she's in a shit ton of clubs and extracurricular activities. theater, cheer, madrigals, piano, cooking club, drama club, gardening club, student council, babysitter, ballet, ice skating, mandarin, competitive dance, girl scouts, model un, NHS, yearbook committee, & mock trial.

captain of the cheer team !! president of the student council !!

she's genuinely so overwhelmed

okay let's go to modern times for a second: she is a social media FIEN. (i'll make a post on it)

okay i'll probably make a part 2 i have too much to say but i feel like this is too long.

I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY ON HER BUT I DONT WANNA MAKE THIS TOO LONG !!

I almost forgot to post this honestly, enjoy lol

Geronimo speaking

I have ideas, so I’m just gonna spill all the imaginative beans.

rare people that speak and communicate in incredibly strange yet amazing and catchy tones. And even if they did try to speak like normal people, they would fail miserably. speaking like a normal human would take a lot of practice and time, just like learning a different language, but more difficult. 

Obviously inspired by Pogo’s music. If you don’t know who that is, I suggest you go check out his youtube channel and listen to some of his music.

Why am I so stupid chronicles pt.1

This whole time I was thinking wow janet jackson looks so much like michael jackson and then I saw a picture of her recently and again thought wow the resemblance is uncanny and then was thinking ooooh have they ever been in a room together and tried to google about the resemblance only to realize they’re freaking SIBLINGS??!!!???!?!!?

My brain can’t be bothered, ahhhhh the perks of not being american (srsly the country needs help) hehehehehehe

Shoot the messenger, kill the news. Blame it all on the psychopomp.

How to brain dump like a pro

what you need

a messy notebook (I like the Leuchturm bullet ones)

a pen

a beverage for emotional support (or several <3)

how to get started

grab your notebook, and sit down in a quiet moment with enough time so you won't stress even more. The point of a brain dump is to unload all your thoughts, everything that is stressing you is put to paper. not aesthetically, no cutesy Pinterest vibes; we need it plain, unromanticised, and personal.

some prompts to get you going

do I have any deadlines coming up?

have I been making time for myself and my hobbies?

what projects, tasks, appointments, and/ or plans are currently stressing me out?

am I procrastinating anything?

am I properly looking after myself? (mental/physical health, skincare, hobbies, school/work, etc etc)

am I currently working through any challenges, and if yes how is that going so far?

how are my friends/relationships doing?

is there an area in my life that I should prioritise right now?

do I feel confident and comfortable at the moment?

Review and reflect

take some time and go over your writing; you can underline or highlight the points that you find most important. make this whole "brain dump" thing a routine; sometimes it takes a bit of writing until you actually get comfortable with putting your emotions onto paper (it sounds easier than it is..), but the more often you do this, the more comfortable you will get!! <3

As always, please feel free to share your own suggestions and tips in the comments! <3

love ya ･:*₊‧✩

I had a breakdown, and I'm not writing it here so I can take your pity, it won't solve my life my passing problems, or even my undiagnosed depression. I'm here only to vent because I have no one to talk to and I feel like the more I keep it in the faster I will explode.

I had a breakdown, i started crying in the middle of my mom's living room, realizing how different I was from when I left this home two years ago, and suddenly, everything started to feel more real.

I cried the tears I had kept hidden behind my eyelids back when I had to apologize to my supposed friends for being bad at jokes, for acting cold with them, for being dramatic, for being too much, for being who I am and who I thought I had lost back in those two years of seclusion. I had to embarrass myself, to beg for a little attention from them because it seemed like they fed from it. They enjoyed ignoring me just so I could go crawling back to them. I apologized for not being able to be handled with.

Every single day I come to realize just how narcissistic they have been, how much they've broken me. How many things do I have to suffer to keep calling them my friends?

First and time I apologize for being myself, especially to people who joke about suicide every single day

Brain dump of today because I've been having a shitty week

Since some time ago, I've been feeling like my friends always ignore me, make fun of me, or try to get something from me (gifts, money, food, class notes, others stuff)

To set some examples: on Tuesday, one of them took a photo of me when i wasn't looking, edited it, and posted it online as a meme. On any other time, I would've laughed, but I was already in a bad mood, so when she told me, "Is it noticeable that I'm bored?" I couldn't even fake laugh and answered "Yes, and a lot" in the most annoyed voice I have ever heard from myself.

I was so mad at her for posting it. But j think it was a mistake from my part because I didn't telk her to stop, so I think she believes she didn't do anything wrong.

On Wednesday, I skipped classes so i could do son stuff at home. i didn't tell them I wasn't going until one of them (not the picture girl, the other one) asked if I was going, like an hour and a half after class started.

Yesterday, Thursday, they asked me to buy some stuff for a model we were going to photograph, but I didn't know what to buy. So I asked them before arriving at school. But they didn't answer, I kept asking until "message girl" told me "idk" so I answered, "I don't think they have that at the store, but I'll ask" I ended up buying a juice, a bottle of water and some chocolates. But j still was mad because they had already bought a juice and some cheetos. They haven't payed me, but meh.

A lot has happened, but i just needed to vent

I don't know why I always remember those moments... Am I still afraid of having a couple? Am I sacred of telling them I'm demi or asexual? Am I actually sacred of even thinking about having a couple?

I don't know, I only only want to erase those moments. I want to give me a chance or the person that likes me. But im scared that those things can happen again, even with totally different people.

I don't know why I have the luck that every person I get to have genuine interest in ends up being shit at the end.

I'm scared to like someone because they might end like the others.

Why am I scared of someone having a crush on me? What is it impossible for me to believe that something like that can happen?

Why am I scared of even thinking about a kiss? There's nothing wrong with it, but why am I scared?

A little poem, or brain dump poem, that one of my friends wrote and gave me authorization to publish here

The moment you realized everything you do is worthless. That your friends already did it, so if you do it, it's just a copy, stealing an idea.

The moment you realize you really have no talent, no amazing thing about yourself that you can show everyone, while your friends all always say how amazing the other friend is.

The moment you realize you'll never achieve your goals because you need to be good at something you're not, because you lack an ability, because the more you try to learn, the more you get tired of even trying.

Mi buena amiga escribió un libro, se está publicando en Wattpad por el momento.

Se llama Helio. Denle apoyo plis. Les dejó el link

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

My good friend wrote a book, it's being published on Wattpad for the moment.

It's called Helio, give it love please. For the moment, it's only on Spanish. I leave you the link

https://www.wattpad.com/story/371509053?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=Rochely1702

Even though I have new friends i still alone sometimes. Things that happen

On other news I have the autograph of a Mexican movie director. Sooo... Good week (?

Our last names are very similar. He gave a masterclass on my school. Search him up it's Carlos Carrera

Por favor no sean alegóricos a decir gracias, hola, adiós, como estas. Se ven mal si no lo hacen, es decencia humana.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk