Bilbo Baggins - Blog Posts

This is my head canon too! :3

I like the idea that Thorin never actually disliked Bilbo during the first half of the quest, it just came off that way because Thorin had a very big crush on Bilbo and didn't know how to deal with it and so ended up being sort of mean to him very much "I wrote a note to my crush that said get out of my school" vibes

The Fellowship movie did Bilbo so dirty ☠️ I know they didn’t make the hobbit movies yet so they were trying to keep the focus on Frodo but:

Bilbo is friends with Aragorn and comes to his defense over Boromir rather than Legolas

Bilbo volunteers to take the ring to Mordor first so nonchalantly like an old queer professor on sabbatical volunteering to cover a 101 course and everyone at the council is honored by his offer

Literally not even scared or sad about it or anything — just straight up “yeah okay I see what you’re getting at, Lord Elrond, I’ll do it 💅 guess I’ll have to rewrite the ending of my book”

Bilbo doesn’t ask to see the ring again or make a go at Frodo but instead sings a sad little song out the window after giving him Sting and his mithril shirt

“it is my dwarf-mail that Thorin gave me” AAAH

Bilbo’s there when they leave Rivendell in the winter and tells them good luck like a worried little peepaw

Also the movie makes it sound like he never got to Erebor but HE DID and was traveling with some of the original company including Gloin who’s the only one who smiles when Bilbo volunteers to take the ring to Mordor

Does anyone have any smaug raised bilbo au fanfic recommendations, because I read one a while back and now I'm desperate for more 😔

IM SORRY BUT WE WONT SURVIVE ON THE FOOD IN MIDDLE EARTH

Alright so, after looking at the food in Middle earth it does look amazing BUT I WONT BE ABLE TO EAT MY NOODLES OR RICE!! Like I love my po-tat-oes but I can only eat so many until I have had my fill for the week. And let me not even get started on seasoning, Middle earth is based on Europe with a lot of similarities and differences but one small problem with this..... we got OUR SPICES from ancient Egyptian, Chinese, and Indian cultures so what do you my dear readers think the food in Middle earth tastes like? Pepper is going to become hot and salt the new sweet BECAUSE SUGAR IS ALSO FROM ASIA....

But just imagen coming from our world tasting a dish from Lord Elrond or someone else that is an important person and smack talk them for calling pepper spicy. You are going to be standing there and ask if you can make something for yourself cus this shit was so bland and boring. (Spoiler you are going to invent spices right then and there and become super rich and famous, Smaug can go and cry in a corner cus u wont be needing his treasure)

idk if middle earth has valentine, probably not, but if they DONT imagine asking ur one to be your valentine and they just DONT GET WHAT YOU MEAN😭😭 Like what do you mean valentine? What is a valentine? Valentines day? What is that? Why are you making that face? Did I say something wrong?

After explaining what it is they just think it is the sweetes thing <3

OK BUT A MODERN FASHION GIRLY IN MIDDLE EARTH

Just imagen you packing for a trip or smt with all ur makeup, clothes and accessories then you all of a sudden when u just closed the bag u end up falling down in the middle of the road in front of either Thorin's company or the fellowship. They end up taking you with them cus somehow everyone is a gentleman and when its time to either celebrate or eat somewhere nice (Rivendell or Rohan for example) you wip out you makeup bag and the nicest/most flattering clothing pice you can find. THE WAY THEIR JAWS DROP WHEN THEY SEE YOU WHEN YOU "TRY" TO LOOK GOOD- BEAUTIFUL, GORGEOUS, WONDERFUL,AMAZING, STUNNING!!!!

EVERYONE WONDERS AND YOU END UP TELLING THEM EVERYTHING FROM WHERE TO APPLY CONCEALER, BEST BLUSH PLACEMENT, HOW COLOR THEORY ALSO APPLY DO DRESSING YOURSELF, WHAT LOOKS BEST ON WHAT BODY TYPE AND ALL THE DIFFIRENT AESTHETICS :D

Hobbits make terrible pets I guess

Serves him right.

Thorin carving wooden toys and Bilbo painting them and they give them out to all the children that migrate to Erebor with their families:

There isn’t actually as much to do as one would think. Winter settled in hard and fast and with heat restored and water running there wasn’t much that could be done by Bilbo or Thorin personally as much as it drove them both crazy.

One night by the fire Thorin eyes up a small chunk of fire wood, grabbing it and taking a leather roll from inside a drawer of his writing desk containing some knives and files. He starts to whittle away at the wood. Bilbo grimaces at the mess it’s making but suddenly all those shavings bring something to mind

After the last snow of the season has passed families will be arriving in Erebor. Many of whom had to leave most of their belongings behind and many of those families will have children who will be scared and exhausted and missing their old homes not yet understanding what a haven Erebor is.

“Say… how many of those do you think you could make in a day” Bilbo hummed thoughtful

Can i reblog this 7 trillion times? This is the cutestestest thing ever. (No composure. I just woke up)

More family shenanigans...

I quit vaping because I started to keep like Gollum. Now it just sits inside my dresser and sometimes I look at it.

😔

Me, addicted to my phone: this is what Frodo felt like

Finished concept drawing of Erebor Bilbo

Yes I did full line art and color. No do not expect me to use this much will power again.

(Plus the sketches)

@reallyhappycrown I wanted to try my hand at ‘hobbits in Erebor’ concept art and I think that’s vaguely adjacent to your request so I hope you enjoy

YOU DID NOT ASDFGHAHDGSGSH!!!!!! OH MY GODS! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

Can you draw Bilbo and Thorin eating something they cooked together?

Or Thorin kind of awkwardly trying to look after Sick Bilbo

Thorin’s doing his best ;-; I sorta combined the prompts with the second image (maybe bilbo helped by telling him the soup recipe ehehe) Thank you for the requests ^_^!!!

Bilbo has no concept of what he’s doing.

Normally it would be very scandalous indeed to touch another dwarrows hair but in the eyes of the party the two brothers were not much more then peddles and so it was actually comforting to see someone taking care of them.

Bilbo say combing through Kilis hair very, very carefully. Sectioning it and starting at the ends because every single tug made the young prince yelp pitifully… Fili had less patience for this game and Thorin had less still so it was understandable to Bilbos mind that the boy was somewhat jumpy about his hair, remembering his own hair being raked through before bed as a fauntling.

Braiding back the princes hair with two plats that met at the back of his head with one leather tie and a bead above it, Bilbo thought he’d done rather a handsome job, Kili sat up and did a spin, showing his brother who nodded approvingly.

Dori sat with Balin across the camp watching with amused smiles.. it made the two brothers seem so young to be cared for in such a way, their smiles turned into muffled laughter as they looked over that their grumpy kings unreadable expressions.

Thorin didn’t know what to think, on the one had he was glad that his nephews were being cared for, on the other he thought bitterly that that was he and Dis’s job and on the other he might have felt slightly jealous but dwarves only have two hands so that last one was the thought he tried to ignore.

Later that evening the camp was still, a few of the party were still half awake having a drink around the fire when Thorin took a deep breath and stood, enough ale in his system to make him slightly braver then he had the right to be. He walked over to Bilbo who was sitting on a log over looking the valley, his pipe in his hand.

Thorin sat beside him, a thick fingered hand resting on the small round shoulder of the hobbit. Thorin was always shocked on the few accessions he had touched the hobbit to feel how small he truely was.

The king cleared his throat.

“Thank you… For looking after them” he nodded to the princes who lay a few meters away, kili laying half on top of his snoring brother like a two man dog pile.

Bilbo looked at the hand on his shoulder then back out at the valley, exhaling a smoke ring “The more time I spend with those two.. the more I realize how young they are… Forgive me for this Thorin but… You shouldn’t have brought them”

Thorin sucked in a breath. His eyes falling to his lap “No… I shouldn’t have…”

Bilbo smiled sadly “come.. You’re worse then Kili, sit down and I’ll brush your hair too”

Thorin thanked Mahal one hundred times that it was dark and his burglar couldn’t see the redness of his cheeks as he sunk down between the Hobbits thighs, staring at a boulder across the valley like it would crack open and reveal a second arkenstone if he glared hard enough… until the Hobbits clever fingers began to unbraid his hair, treating it as gently as he did Kili’s… then all he could do was close his eyes and try to hold in most of the groan of satisfaction that rumbled in his chest.

Let's be honest, Bilbo does too much of what is considered vulgar or flirting in Thorin's culture. And he's going to die of embarrassment soon.

Bad light.

More gold sick Thorin and his treasure

For all that they are different Bilbo and Thorin have one thing in common:

Doing profoundly stupid shit with a very smug expression.

Bilbo and Thorin having a fight:

Bilbo; I see there is still a dragon under this mountain, Thorin Oakenshield

Thorin:

The haunting of Bilbo Baggins

Aka dead eyed Thorin has become Bilbos literal sleep paralysis demon but Bilbo is almost glad because this way he can still see his one’s face 😭

I’m supposed to me doing my school work but I really wanted to join in the fun.

They've made a dwarf out of him! What would his papa say?

Can you tell Dwalin was waiting for this moment?

Inspired by my own work related meeting last week. (You laugh at Dwalin's hands and I swear to Mahal I'll cry)

Okay since you guys think you’re funny(and you are) we had a tie before Beorn's and Erebor so this is the tie breaker

Reminder that this is for part two of Avenge the Living.

If you haven’t read it, please do I just fixed some types so it should be easier on the eyes (which reminds me I’m still looking for beta readers)

So Thorin and Bilbo tied the knot but Thorin never totally got over his dragon sickness and thus I present to you, a illustration I gave up on half way though of King-Consort under the mountain, Bilbo, Son of Belladonna.

Bilbo looks very pretty but very tired and haunted in his royal portrait. The consorts crown is definitely too heavy for his wee head. But Thorin likes his little consort in expensive and shiny things 😭

(I might rework/finish it later)

Okay quick poll for Avenge the Living chapter 2.

Where is Bilbo?

Hey so what if Bilbo fully just drove Sting up through Azogs chest on the Karak and that was the end of it?

I love time travel AUs so much so let me just…

Avenge the living.

Tw: graphic depictions of battle (very graphic)

Bilbo watched in horror as Thorin was flung across the outcrop like a rag doll, hitting the flat rock like a body on a sacrificial stone, at best he had the wind knocked out of him, at worst he’d have a broken back.

Last time this had all happened he’s managed to walk away but Bilbo honestly couldn’t remember if he had fallen like that before. He cringed and steeled himself.

In the black speech Azog summoned a minion almost his own size to behead Thorin.

Last time it had all been flailing, desperate chaos, this time Bilbo sucked in a deep breath and sprinting, sword forward and close to his side until the final moment where he thrust Sting up and in, somewhere between the orcs floating rib, he yanked upwards on the handle of the blade and heard the putrid popping and sloshing as he rended the side of his blade though the orcs central mass, all it could do was look shocked for two seconds before collapsing dead on top of the king. Bilbo hadn’t turned his sword to catch in the orcs ribs and easily pulled it free. It stunk of the guts it had just shorn through and Bilbo tried not to wretch, he didn’t have time, in two more seconds the company would decent and this would be Bilbos only chance.

He had to kill the white orc. Tonight.

When the fighting began Bilbo was glad to see that for the remainder of his last life what small amount of practice he had kept up with a blade had done him good and sting felt all to right in his hands so when he came nose to nose with the great Worg matriarch that Azog rode upon, Bilbo suprised even himself when he thrust his sword up, piercing the monster from the chin up into her brain, the beast didn’t even howl, she just crumbled, Azogs eyes went wide as he toppled.

The rest of the company continued to dispatch the remaining orcs and Bilbo knew it would be only seconds until the great eagles arrived. It didn’t matter. He had lived his life before and if it ended now it would have been a fine life, full of love and adventure and he would be remembered well.. So while Azog was still freeing himself from under his dead mount Bilbo charged, silent as the grave, leaping onto the Worgs side and propelling himself straight for Azog in what must have looked like a tackle. But he had to intention of grappling the monster, instead he blade shot out again, lower then he would have liked, somewhere around the orcs kidneys, Bilbo assumed. It didn’t matter, he turned the blade vertically and shoved hard and up, until the gash he made in the orcs side was large enough for his hands to regrettably follow the blade in.

Oh course it couldn’t be so easy. Azog was a great and terrible warrior and he would not go down without taking someone with him, his prosthetic blade stabbed deep into Bilbos chest.

Everything seemed to grow quiet and slow, Bilbos heart was all he could hear as he starred down at Azog as blood bubbled out of the orcs mouth and Bilbo actually smiled. He wasn’t sure if he said it or thought it but “For Thorin” where the last words to cross the hobbits mind before it all went black.

Lost in that darkness he was sure he could hear people calling his name. Maybe it was the elves, rousing him for tea.. or maybe it was young Frodo, trying to get him to carry on with what ever story he dozed off half way through.

“Bilbo!”

“Burglar!”

No one in Rivendale or the Shire had ever called him.. Burglar.. so where was he?

Bagginshield tumblr, your son is back. Dwobbit Frodo loses his second round of pebble teeth and Bilbo has a brain aneurysm

I will never understand why everyone including myself keeps drawing Bilbo looking so ancient.

That is a twink.. or a mouse.. the jury is still out on that.

Bilbo: *staring hard between Thorin and Kili*

Bilbo: *realizing they have the exact same number of brain cells* oh no.. He’s stupid

Thorin: what?

Bilbo: What??

Bilbo: *faffing around with Sting accidentally cuts some of his hair*

thorin:

I want more fanfiction about Bilbo and Thorin finding each other in the after life so please enjoy this

So that was it then. Death. It came. Collected Bilbos tired body, enshrouded him like a blanket of black satin. When it arrived there was no stopping it.

It felt as if he were back in the shire, watching every candle in his hobbitly home slowly burn down to the holder.

Bilbos eyes were already closed when he passed, hoping Frodo wouldn’t be too heart broken when he was found in the mourning.

Then, suddenly, as if the light were replaced and that satiny darkness pulled back he was no longer in the land of the elves. He was in a home… his home.

Bilbo sat, surprisingly himself with his own strength, he looked down at his hands and saw they were not the ones he had come to recognize at the end of his life.

Then came a knock and the door and as much as Bilbo was confused and disoriented he couldn’t leave a guest standing at his door.

When it swung open there were a number of people he expected to find. Belladonna, Bungo, even Gandalf seemed like a possibility but standing in his doorway, haloed by warm spring sun… he saw Thorin Oakenshield, though Bilbo swore the Dwarf looked younger then he had in his most closely kept memories.

“Master Burglar” The King said, the corner of his mouth turned up in a smile “I wondered when you would show up”

Right, first review

This fanfiction is in MP3 format and if you have some time to relax and enjoy your fan fiction being read to you PLEASE read this

There are, at this time, only two chapters available though as there are 6 more assigned to be completed I imagine they will be out in short order

Review

The style of writing is fantastic, the narration has a few minor mispronunciations but it’s honestly rather endearing and makes it feel a bit more light. (There is a point where they laugh at it had me giggling along with them)

At times I was tugging at my hair with frustration at bilbos obliviousness which I know will make it all the more worth it when he finally arrives at his destination. The suspense kept me hooked. Every character thus far has been so lovable and felt completely perfect as additions to Tolkiens works, I felt like I was seeing old friends again, like they belonged just as much as the company themselves. Not a single sentence in this story feels out of place. It is a well made path to a finale i am so excited to see.

This fic is a labour of love.

10/10, there are literally no notes, it’s a gem.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63007633/chapters/161362978

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63007633/chapters/161362978

Follow me into the dark

Thorin and Bilbo are both good men but no good man is truly safe from a creeping irresistible greed.

I love them being kinda evil I’m sorry.

Will I ever fully render this? Maybe, depends how bored I get