Actually Osdd - Blog Posts

oh i forgot all might wrote our intro post, maybe we do have dissociative amnesia, oops.

oh my god r u a system w incredibox sourced alts too ?!?

YES I AM!!!

Wh... What?? What is?? What does this mean??

The headmate?

Wh.... I don't remember this being made or the context. Did he scream in *Innerworld* and wake us? I... Am so confused...

Last night i woke up to a scream because there was a bug in liliths room, rip

Drew myself and also a Femtanyl Inspired Persona!! Probably will draw her a bunch :3 I'm a Frequent Fronter now! - Venus (will prob draw an Intro thing for here soon <3)

CW // SH scars + Imagery, Many Eyes

This is so old. My entire Identity, Personality, Role, Appearance, and Name has changed significantly. I night draw something new but my name is Skye, I'm still a Lesbian, but everything else is Totally different. Crazy... Oh im also not 16, I'm 14? I probably lied tbh

- 🌥️

Sys Mates Draw Themselves

Number 2 Nadia Skye

Nadia is a 16 year old bunhattic lesbian who goes by she/bun Pronouns and bunny doesn't take shit from anyone :) - Cordelia

Sys Mates Draw Themselves

Number 8

Posting this for Chasm, Fakeclaimers can choke and die xoxo 😘 -Jace

sys members draw themselves or whatever. Sup. 🐷

Sys Mates Draw Themselves

Number 4 Josephine

This bubbly beautiful baby is a mood brightener for everyone. She is a great big sister, and a talented artist -Cordelia

Sys Mates Draw Themselves

Number 3 Lucifer Cain CW: Blood

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Lucifer, or Luci, is a genderfluid vampire who's favorite colors are Blood Red and Uravity Pink! This 17 year old Vamp is the most passionate boy you'll ever meet and knives is my best friend. They are dating Kenzie, who I am also dating :) -Cordelia

Sys Mates Draw Themselves

Number 2 Nadia Skye

Nadia is a 16 year old bunhattic lesbian who goes by she/bun Pronouns and bunny doesn't take shit from anyone :) - Cordelia

Sys Mates Draw themselves

Number 1, Phoenix

Phoenix is a 31 year old catcrowic unlabeled person who uses He/Crow Pronouns and is dating a headmate named Petra Cain. He is a rehabilitated Persecutor, and while he may have his bad days he is amazing ♡ -Cordelia

This Aged Well 😭 Everyone who knows was very open minded about it. It isn't perfect, and they haven't made any attempt to learn more or recognize us as individuals but they acknowledge it and believe me, ultimately I am very glad I told them even though I was scared. I only told people I trusted at first. Then my family had a small bit of an intervention with me and with the support of those who already knew, I told the rest of my family who didn't know.

The only people who don't know are my Father, his Wife, and my step-sister. This is because I am only medically recognized not diagnosed and my father has a tendency of thinking me a Liar for attention. Also all three are very very close minded.

My advice to you, if you want to tell people you are a system, please be very careful who you tell. Only tell those you trust and never tell someone who might harm you in some way with this information. Your saftey should always come before your comfortability.

With Love, Cordelia

I'm terrified of my family finding out I'm a system now that i know i dont want to be diagnosed. Diagnosis would prevent me from transitioning and ruin a lot in my life. But ive already been too honest, and I've even been medically recognized as a system. It's terrifying and I don't know what to do

Our Grandmother allowed us to put this painting up. It is our most amazing piece, and I think it will give Mark good memories

I thought I would update everyone that Everyone except my father and step family knows I'm a System and everyone was open minded about it except my mom -Kyle

I'm terrified of my family finding out I'm a system now that i know i dont want to be diagnosed. Diagnosis would prevent me from transitioning and ruin a lot in my life. But ive already been too honest, and I've even been medically recognized as a system. It's terrifying and I don't know what to do

Yep. This. Literally this.

There are SO many things that I didn't realize I actually experienced because the descriptions of those symptoms sound like they're saying something else.

About 85-95% percent of our memories are in third person but I totally thought most people had that to a good extent until I talked to several people who not only thought it was super weird, but also didn't even know what I was saying because the very idea of it is so foreign.

This is why discussions of dissociation in CDD spaces REALLY should be only for 'traumagenic' systems. Whether you believe you can be a system without trauma, if you don't believe you have the trauma or the disorder caused by it, you shouldn't be in spaces for those trying to figure out how to manage disorder.

Also the mental health medical system sucks ass. We need more professionals who can actually bridge the gap between text book definitions and what it actually fucking looks like. We went to an evaluation and downplayed our symptoms so fucking much because we didn't think they fit the written descriptions (and growing up being gaslit into believing we're overreacting about everything). We got a very noncommittal place holder diagnosis from that appointment, that we waited six months and drove 2 hours for, probably because we told the doctor we didn't have amnesia because we had no fucking idea what emotional or grey out amnesia was, AND we didn't know that you can have black outs and not realize anything. is missing. We figured the lack of 'waking up' and not remembering how we got where we were, meant that we had zero amnesia. But holy shit is that wrong.

Anyways. All that to say, OP, you are not the only one who experiences this.

-Apollo (maybe?)

Sometimes I genuinely hate that I have a disorder where I take things literally.

Especially when that's intersectioned by CDD spaces where a lot of the descriptions of dissociation are hard to relate to, despite having several periods of time where strong dissociation is the only explanation.

And it's not even necessarily because I can't relate to them, it's just that my brain gets caught on the literal wording of that experience and immediately thinks that I can't experience that because I don't feel that specific way.

Does anyone else reading this feel the same?

Because I hear descriptions like feeling like you're outside of your body or over the shoulder, and I never feel like I experience that in real time. It only happens with memories, where a ton of those are in third person.

There are periods of time where I want a certain drink, but my brain fights to find the right word because several different parts of me want a different drink, even though I know that I want the specific drink that my brain suddenly can't recall the word for.

Honestly, I feel like 90% of my dissociation happens without me being able to cognitively recognize when it's actively happening, and I only realize after looking back that I remember maybe the bare fucking minimum.

And I dunno, maybe I've just been dissociated for so much of my life that it's so normal to me that I don't even know it's dissociation. It's really hard to parse what is and isn't normal when you 1) are neurodivergent and 2) see your normal as normal.

If any of you out there have any other descriptions of what dissociation can look like I would love to hear them, because that's the only way my brain will get over the mental block / confused phase of trying to understand.