Latest Posts by kreitler - Page 3

favorite thing to put on a bagel?

chicken nuggys 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 i really like chicken nuggies 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

chicken nuggy 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 yikes tho, i love nutella or strawberry jam skjfgndflk dgf

I hope that someone, somewhere, voluntarily and unironically ends up spending New Year’s Eve reading the new chapter of my GRINCH x TONY THE TIGER Fanfic.

It has been read by a nun, blessed by a priest, and received rave reviews up to and including my personal favorite: “the best fic i’ve ever read in bible class“

…wait does the priest thing mean my cursed fic has technically been exorcized

Happy Holidays! 🎄🎁

Have you ever played a video game that just made you so fucking angry?

Yeah all of them, every single one, even minecraft. Fuck minecraft.

gotta admit, I'm impressed with their dedication to the bit

Congratulations to Elden Ring for winning the Game of the Year 2022 award in The Game Awards! Elden Ring was a turning-point experience in my life, and I couldn't be more grateful for being able to play this masterpiece! Here's a small fanart of Radagon to celebrate!

i call my parents and say ‘yeah i can’t do family stuff tonight, i got too much stuff to do for school’ and i e-mail my professor and say ‘i can’t do my assignments tonight, work got crazy’ and i text my boss and say ‘sorry i can’t work late tonight, i gotta some family stuff’ and through this triangulation of deceitful excuses i at last will be free

Hi my name is Blorbo Orb Plinko Horse Girlboss Way and I have long ebony black hair

Hi my name is Stigmata Divine Suffering Crucifixion Christ and I have bloody stigmata wounds (that’s how I got my name) with fresh blood and a deep gash on my side that reaches my mid-back and pain-filled blue eyes like Our Lady of Sorrows’ tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Mary Magdalene (AN: if you don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Jesus Christ but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a saint but I haven’t been canonized. I have scabbed up skin. I’m also a priest, and I go to an abbey called Montecassino in Italy where I’m a newly ordained priest (I’m seventeen). I’m a catholic (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly vestments. I love the Vatican and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black alb with a matching black cassock, and a black linen surplice, a red stole, and episcopal sandals. I had crimson blood dripping from the crown of thorns wounds in my head, the four nail wounds in both my hands and feet, and the spear wound in my side. I was walking outside Montecassino Abbey. It was storming and raining which made me think about Isaiah 4:6, which I was very happy about. A lot of protestants stared at me. I put up my crucifix at them.

“Hey Stigmata!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Pope Francis!

“What’s up Pope?” I asked.

“Nothing.” he said shyly.

But then, I heard the archbishops call me and I had to go away.

✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me thanks be 2 god! amen

i hope ebony dark’ness dementia raven way, age 33, is enjoying the my chemical romance comeback and live tour,

A Snowy Day in Liurnia

“Mother says you’re not to be trusted,” the young girl said, twirling a finger in her red locks. The woman laughed, her large hat flopping about strangely in the girl’s eyes. It made her smile in spite of her uncertainty. The crone knelt down somewhat to meet her gaze, cold blue eyes crowning a warm smile.

“Thine mother speaks true, my dear. Trust is a thing earned, not given. Though, in time will thou too grant it?” She said, as a weathered hand reached out and pat her head, softly. The girl stepped aback, not in fright but surprise. The woman’s touch was frigid as ice. It was true then. She really was the snow witch.

“…are you the reason why it’s snowing now? The manor’s never seen a blizzard before…” the young Ranni asked, taking steps forward again. The snow witch smiled further, a spark of mischief to her grin now. 

“Tis not easy to get the attention of the Carians, dear. A full moon oft outshines a dark one, after all.” She let out a laugh, shrill as the icicles hanging from the manor’s eaves. Ranni smiled, laughing too. How had this stranger crept inside the castle’s walls though? Rennala and Radagon were vigilant as any since the war had ended, but a snowfall had drawn the attention to the now frozen lake beyond the walls and the Academy. 

A fog had crept in that morning, and with it, a stooped figure tending to the trees in the small groves tucked away in the Carian Manor. Ranni had ran out to explore the growing drifts, but had found the curious figure plucking snowflakes from the air as one might take fruit hanging from a branch. 

“Tis a good omen though, young mistress,” the hag said, finally putting away her little game. An omen indeed, a guiding light of the moon had brought her here, and the one to answer the call had surprised her further. The daughter of Rennala and Radagon themselves would be her student. 

“An… Omen?” the girl stepped back, fear tinging her voice. The snow witch merely laughed again, this time loudly and the snow gathering around them seemed to sparkle with each note of her voice.

“Oh, mine apologies dearest, tis not what I meant. A sign. A very good, sign. Thou art steeped in sorcery, thy blood calls out to it and it responds. Thine path is bright, perhaps brighter than most,” she stooped down again, this time resting fully on her heels. The odd down garb sparkled like starlight in the grove, bringing the young Ranni closer still. 

“…if you… really think so. The Academy teaches sorcery…” was all she could manage to say. The snow witch tilted her head at that, her smile going from one of mischief to something dark and bitter, as a sour taste received when sweetness was expected. She relaxed however, recalling her purpose here.

“The Academy is most equipped to turn lesser minds into vessels, ready to receive instruction from thy mother and her students. Thou, however, deserve something better than that. She will teach thou what she must, but I have a question for thee.” 

Ranni looked up as the snow witch stood, her cold, blue eyes almost glowing in the shadow of her strange hat.

“What is it?” she squeaked, feeling a tinge of fear. The hag shut her eyes, smiling that softer smile again. She tilted her head before extending a hand.

“I can teach thee not of Glintstone, but of ice and cold. Of the chill of night and starlight.” She whispered, lowering herself once more to meet Ranni’s gaze evenly. The young child furrowed her brows, a hand brushing damp bangs back from the wetness of the snowfall. 

“A chill night? It’s so cold now though!” she complained, folding her arms and pouting. The witch giggled at that. She was indeed the perfect student. 

‘Oh young Ranni, thou shalt learn beautifully,’ the snow witch thought.  

I found this old script from a while ago and i might adapt it into a comic after i finish a project im currently on, MY HEART ACHESSS 

I will miss you if they finally realize about you, Tumblr the website and app Twitter account. You shined bright, you magnificent being.

Two friends sharing a quiet moment in th evening light.

on a night of wint’ry fog, the rune of death was stolen

Y’know, after a certain amount of rent-lowering gunshots, it starts just being a dangerous neighborhood.

Elden ring or God of war for game of the year?

Oh boy, it's a close close call. I’m gonna rant. 

In some ways, Ragnorok is an infallible game, it’s so perfect that poking holes in it seems so nit-picky that you just come off looking like a little jackass creature. I loved every second I played of it and I can't think of a better written, better performed, more charismatic experience. I've seen morons complain that the game has too many cutscenes, as if they didn't know what type of game they were buying into. I would whine about the cutscenes more if they sucked or if the game lacked actual gameplay but it most certainly does not. This game is CHOCK FULL of things to see and do, and all the flavor-text and optional dialogue is insane, on top of that, the game feels amazing to play and the move-set is sexy. When everything is going crazy, there are few games as exciting as this one. At the end of the day I can't think of a more satisfying experience, with one of the most thematically satisfying endings ever in a game.

Elden Ring on the other hand has its problems. It has a difficulty-scaling issue, it's buggy on every platform, it most certainly looks worse than Ragnorok, it has less endearing characters, and what little dialogue it has is pretty mediocre. That being said, Elden Ring is my GOTY. This game is kinda like my dream-game made real, an open world souls-like made by Hidetaka Miyazaki the legend himself - a game with the mystique of Breath of the wild without the shortcomings of content and variety. This game, in my eyes, is the single best example as to why a game should be open-world. So often in games I feel like an open world is a crutch. -- In ghost of Tsushima the open world disconnected me from the pacing and character-growth of our MC, the objectives felt so systematic and ubisoft-esque that it 'gamified' itself as you played, removing the atmosphere and experiential qualities of the experience over time - this effect can also be seen in Horizon Forbidden West, and Dying light 2. Elden Ring uses the open-world to surprise you, you learn so much, you need to be aware of your surroundings, understand the lay of the land, and find things without guidance. It does what Dark Souls did to adventure games and it removes the handrails from the experience, in this case, Elden Ring unlocks the open-world experience. As a result, there aren't many games that evoke such a CANDID experience in me. I've never had so much fun exploring a world, and I've never been so surprised by a game's sheer amount of content. I could go on and on but ultimately it removes the burdensome systems that typically plague games of this scale. I think the game has the best reward-feedback-loop ever, where every item is invaluable, versus the generic inundation of materials in other games, etc etc etc... At the end of the day, Elden Ring just another valuable lesson for the gaming industry; I feel like Fromsoft pops up and teaches the whole industry a new lesson every once in a while - like they know what people want at a fundamental level.

On paper, Ragnorok could be seen as the better overall package but as a result of it being linear, it lacks the candid experience that Elden Ring delivers in spades and I think, despite Ragnorok being one of the best-ever narratives put into a game of this caliber, Elden Ring captures what it means to be a video game better.