Sometimes I Think About How Hard It Is For Me To Cry And How Numb I Feel About Everything, I Wish I Was

lowkey survived and better now

my girl ghosted me. hope i die

me after screaming at everyone i know and isolating myself from my family and locking myself in my room because i think no one likes me or cares about me and the voice in my head said so and it practically runs my self esteem

favorite word to abuse is percieve

The last girl I kissed sent me this photo she is so sweet I can’t wait until she comes back from the sea I miss her more than I have let on

i guilt myself the most i am the one with the bugs that crawl around my stomach and make me cough my heart out so i dont have the strength to live as a real person who feels moderately and all my emotions are leaking over themselves and sinking me in im not sure how ill survive adulthood

and in between all the cooking and dishwashing, i let myself take a breath but i just get reminded of how empty i feel inside and nothing is okay for a while

back home

no nevermind i love her she took off my glasses when i fell asleep on the couch and put another blanket on me

i need to hug my mother and cry into her neck because i miss the warm embrace of her womb and this bed is too cold for me; i just wish she held me. i just want her to care for me forever, no matter how bitter and painful loving me is

“I don’t like the idea of ‘understanding’ a film. I don’t believe that rational understanding is an essential element in the reception of any work of art. Either a film has something to say to you or it hasn’t. If you are moved by it, you don’t need it explained to you. If not, no explanation can make you moved by it.”

— Federico Fellini

im filled with so much sadness inside of me and i dont know where to put it all