I’m Finally Working On A New Project That I Thought Would Be Something Small But Turns Out I Like It

Loop poetry from 2019

Again, they come running to my call of distress

only to burrow in my skin and call me delicate

their stinger falling off upon entry

They want to peel off each layer to watch it grow back shiny and new.

They choke for me as I swallow their marbles but they won’t bleed for me

won’t breathe for me

and my humming bird heart won’t sway

nor listen to what you have to say

won’t cry as you break my bones

Remember that first butterfly?

That night we went bowling, then to

Sonic, then to Cook Out for some reason.

You had released that little guy

From your jar of hearts, then

He fluttered into mine

It was the migration of

Monarchs, an extraction of

Honey. A swarm of bees and things

When we first met.

It’s crazy how low self-worth fucks with peoples lives

my heart is a ripe fruit rotting in my chest

N. 

How to describe someone time isn’t a friend of- 

Fate knows your name, 

It’s strong, your strong. In your arms, I feel safe, 

Until we let go

Music turned all the way up 

The only song I wanted to hear was your heart 

Harmonious, a voice so sweet to the ears 

Fate might not be our friend, 

But time knows our name and dammit it demands it so mockingly, 

Like a threat. 

Dare we prove fate wrong and test the stars?  We’ll test the boundaries of life itself.

just in case no one told you, you did well this year. you don’t even realize it :( I’m proud of you, you should be proud of yourself too

Rare pity, mercy and compassion of the giants called humanity

A cis woman tells me that maybe she should transition to gain male privilege as I'm recovering from getting beaten up in the men's bathrooms.

I tell her to be my guest and give me a call when she gets her jaw broken, I always carry a first aid kit and a pepper spray.

She calls me a misogynistic asshole.

A cis man tells me that he'd sure love some T.

Gave him my prescription and best of luck with the constant shortages and getting denied.

He calls me a pussy.

I'm fighting for my life and reproductive rights. I get told to get off women's fights, that it's not about me, like I shed my womb after my first T shot.

I search for support groups for SA victims, and I'm stuck in the same “women/NBs only”. Still shooting my shot, send an application. I introduce myself. Never get a call back.

I go to a trans night. Say I go by he/him. Get told back “yeah, that's how we all start !” by a trans woman. I'm too exhausted, I get up and I leave.

I hang out with my friends, one of them drunkenly says masculinity is a prison we must learn to escape. She gets rows of applause. Back to drinking alone.

Yes I could explain it. But who'd you rather be ? A delusional girl or a man made threat ?Or it could be better, I could just not exist ! And we'd bleach my corpse and I'd become a casualty. Not an F, ot an M, a W for Wound and for Wrong.

I put a candle on a single cupcake, 2 years on HRT. I blow it in the dark. Curtains closed like casket.