EMERYVILLE, CA—Announcing That The Beloved Widower From Up would Return To Screens This Weekend,

So, I have a lot of problems with the latest (sixth) episode of Percy Jackson and the Olympians. I’m just going to start from the beginning and work my way through the episode to the end.

Firstly, the episode title is “We Take A Zebra to Vegas.” Do we *see* a Zebra? For all of two seconds. That’s it. So much for a plot-relevant episode title. It’s a nitpick, sure, but if you’re going to make something an episode title, it should have SOME relevance to the plot. I understand that that’s the only chapter where we see the Lotus Casino, so it makes sense to use that chapter title as the episode title. But is it *really* that much more effort to add a scene featuring Percy and/or Grover chatting with the Zebra? There’s certainly run time and almost certainly budget for it.

Then we get to the casino itself and, as loathe as I am to admit it, the movie did it better without question. Even the smallest of details — like the look and vibe of the casino are done so much better in the movie. The casino is designed to trap children, so it’s filled with water parks, roller coasters, and all that makes a kid lose their mind. We see that in the movie. In the show, it’s just a regular old casino filled with a bunch of adults of all ages. There’s only like 2 or 3 shots where you really see groups of children. And that’s not even mentioning the exterior architecture of it. It’s a nitpick, but the show version doesn’t even look Greek-inspired. In the movie, it’s basically a knock-off Caesar’s Palace with Greek Columns and everything. It’s great. The giant Lotus Blossom with a roller coaster coming out of the side just… isn’t.

Much like with Medusa, all the suspense was just thrown out the window. Once they enter, Grover does the whole “wait, Percy, did your mom read you the Odyssey?” shtick and the trio figures out it’s the Lotus Eaters that Odysseus faced. Consequently, Percy and Annabeth do not lose themselves in the casino. They stay sane the whole bloody time. What annoys me even more about this is that Percy even says as they enter the casino “what if we just chilled here and played some games for a bit.” It got my hopes up that we’d actually see a competent drug trip scene — I was wrong. Annabeth immediately shuts him down and he’s like “yeah, no, I was joking.”

Anyway, they go to look for Hermes. I’m not sure why the fuck Hermes loves hanging out in this casino. The show’s explanation is that he just likes chilling there and nothing more is said on the matter. It feels weird to be that an Olympian would just be chilling in a casino run by monsters without a care in the world. Whatever.

Once they enter, Annabeth decides Grover should split off so they can cover more ground. Um, hello, if you’re trying to cover more ground why not have EVERYONE split off, not just Grover? So Grover goes off on his own, finds a Satyr that used to know his Uncle Ferdinand and starts talking to him about the Search for Pan. The Satyr is like “oh, yeah, Pan. I think I found him here. Come follow me.” Grover follows and eventually forgets who he is (and ends up playing VR). Sure, great, one of the trio lost it, but that doesn’t account for the other two and we really didn’t need to shoehorn more Pan stuff in just for the sake of getting Grover to split off from Percabeth.

Meanwhile, Percabeth have found Hermes and he takes them aside to chat after they mention they’re friends of Luke’s. There’s a few things here that annoy me. Firstly, Hermes lore dumps all of the trauma that is May Castellan — something which doesn’t appear until the 5th book. We could have — and should have, imo — gotten the backstory behind Luke’s failed quest to the Garden of the Hesperides to steal a Golden Apple. The quest he failed when Landon gave him the scar on his face. The quest *Hermes himself* assigned to him. There’s plenty of resentment for Hermes that comes for that — we didn’t need May Castellan. Not yet.

Turns out, Hermes is just stalling them because he doesn’t want to help. Fucking dick. So, Annabeth goes invisible and steals his car keys — which Hermes absolutely knew about. They rescue Grover after a brief spell of forgetfulness. Annabeth reasons that they didn’t lose it like Grover because they were together and it’s harder to forget when you’re with someone. Sure, great. How do you explain the DiAngelos? I highly doubt that Bianca would willingly let Nico wander off on his own. It just doesn’t make any sense to me.

I really hate that the movie casino somehow managed to include Disco Darrin — the kid from the 70s that triggers Percy realizing something is fucked up — and that the show doesn’t. Darrin really helps reinforce the idea that the casino is full of kids out of time, which helps set up the reveal that the DiAngelos were in the casino for 70ish years and didn’t age at all. I hate that the movie did something better, I really do. But it’s just unavoidable when comparing these two scenes.

The trio then “steal” Hermes’ cab, which just so happens to have a letter addressed to the trio that supposedly tells them a back way into the Underworld. We’ll see how that turns out next episode, but I will be UPSET if we don’t get DOA Recording Studious and all that jazz. As soon as Percy (shoddily) drives the trio out of the parking garage, Hermes’ travel magic transports them to the beach in Santa Monica. That’s the one redeeming thing about this episode for me. That’s actually a really cool application of Hermes’ powers as the God of Travelers.

What I do have a problem with, however, is Percy’s experience in the ocean. Instead of meeting Poseidon, as was promised to us, we meet the Nereid from St. Louis. She tells Percy that “surprise, the summer solstice already happened. Poseidon waited for you as long as you could, but now he has to go marshal his forces for war. Go home now, your quest is done.” Um, what? The summer solstice passing makes no sense to me as a creative decision. The solstice is the reason that all the gods were on Olympus when Percy returned the bolt. You can’t expect the gods to just be chilling on Olympus 24/7 especially when war is about to break out.

Plus, you cannot tell me that Zeus wouldn’t have immediately started fucking shit up. His symbol of power was stolen — allegedly — by Poseidon. He’d want that back ASAP. In the book, it’s stated in no uncertain terms that, if Percy+Co. failed, Zeus and Poseidon would be fucking up the weather. Massive storms and natural disasters everywhere. The sky and the sea would be at war with each other. It would be like Armageddon. There’s 0 sign of that. At all.

Then, before Percy leaves, the Nereid gives him *four* pearls. Not three. Four. This takes away Percy having to sacrifice Sally for the sake of the world (even if she comes back eventually). This change just doesn’t make any sense to me. The explanation in the show is that Poseidon cares about Sally. But that makes 0 sense because there’s been an overarching narrative that All Gods Are Bastards. Additionally, even in this episode, Hermes mentioned that it was Poseidon’s advice to stay away from the lives of demigods/their mortal parents. That it’s awful watching them struggle and feel powerless to stop it. Why does Poseidon suddenly have the power to help Sally now? It just… doesn’t make any sense to me.

Another issue I have with this is that if the Nereid is telling Percy to go back to camp, why is she giving him *four* pearls? Assuming a retcon that the pearls transport the user to CHB, there’s no need for four. If Percy is supposed to return to CHB immediately, he doesn’t go to the Underworld to rescue Sally and therefore does not need a fourth pearl. If that isn’t a plot hole, I don’t know what is.

The episode ends with Percy being like “no, I’m seeing this quest through to the end.” Which is great and all, but the teaser for next episode worries me with how much it includes. We’re going to see Crusty’s Water Bed Palace, the Underworld, AND the fight on the beach with Ares. I don’t know how they’re going to fit that all into like 35 minutes of show time (accounting for the “previously on” segment and credits taking up 5 minutes of the 40 minute runtime). Crusty was the obvious cut from this episode so that it doesn’t feel rushed, but it *wasn’t* cut and that worries me.

And, furthermore, I think Crusty is going to have to be heavily modified for the screen. I see no way Disney allows Percy to go full medieval torture and stretch Crusty to death. Which is disappointing, if I’m being honest. It’s really the first indication of how Percy acts when he’s snapped/in the zone. Stuff like summoning hurricanes while fighting or overwhelming the weather barrier at Camp also falls into this category. That’s a nitpick, sure, but whatever.

Look, I didn’t want to be a hater. And I still don’t. I would love to love this show, but the problem with it is the marketing and the writing. It was marketed by Rick and the critics as a “faithful adaptation.” This is not that. This is a rewrite of the book that’s honestly worse than some fanfics I’ve read. Which says a lot because the PJO fanfic community is not known for having well-written works.

And the trio themselves just aren’t clicking as their book counterparts for the most part. Percy, especially, just doesn’t act like Percy. We’re missing his sarcasm and biting humor. It’s not Walker’s fault — anyone who’s watched The Adam Project” knows he can pull it off. Annabeth has lost most of her character development and had that screen time given to Grover. I was alright with it last episode with Ares, but it just did not work with Augustus this episode. The trio just doesn’t feel like the trio and I don’t think it’s the actors’ faults.

Like I said earlier, Walker can absolutely pull off Persass. The script just isn’t letting him do that and that disappoints me. I watched Leah in Beast and absolutely could see the Annabeth in her, but all of her moments and character traits are either being given to Percy and Grover or cut entirely. Taking away our knowledge from the books, we know the least about Annabeth’s character out of the trio. The script just isn’t making her click in my mind as Annabeth like the script in Beast did. I can’t really say much about Aryan, since I haven’t seen him in other works, but I do like that he’s being elevated above comedic relief. So… that’s a good thing, I guess.

Overall, I have a lot of issues with the show. Especially with this episode. I also have a lot of fears with the direction this show is going for the final two episodes and I’m nervous to see where Rick and the writers take this. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

I just had a discussion with my friend about fanfiction and how we tend to assume that women are the writers without any actual proof. Then I said, hey, I know fanfiction written by gay and trans dudes. But then I remembered, wait, I think I know one writer who just must be cis het based on his work. Anyway, all writers, be honest, who are you?

Please reblog if you're interested in the results.

Please enjoy my offering to my friend group this Stab-aversary

Mario Movie 2 subplot? 👀

Every few months I think to myself "what exactly is Wario and waluigi's relationship. They're not brothers so what are they" and I check the wiki and it doesn't say their connection

A - Awake by Tycho S - Shut Up and Dance by WALK THE MOON M - Mama Said by Lukas Graham O - Oogie Boogie's Song by VoicePlay D - Dangerous by Set It Off E - Enemy by Imagine Dragons U - Upside Down by Jack Johnson S - Some Nights by fun. S - Separate Ways by Journey T - Things We Lost in the Fire by Bastille A - Amish Paradise by "Weird Al" Yankovic H - Hey Brother by Avicii L - Light of the Seven by Ramin Djawadi

tag game: make a playlist using each letter of your url

tagged by: @oh2e

B - Bad Blood by Bastille

E - Evil Eye by Franz Ferdinand

N - New Sun by Kill Bill: the Rapper

I - I Love You, I'm Trying by grandson

D - Dandelions by Rav

R - Re-Hash by Gorillaz

Y - y 13 by Cavetown

L - Love From the Other Side by Fall Out Boy

uhhh go for it anyone ig, but i'll tag a few ppl as well @professorrivertam @because-i-love-chess @1dkreally @slorgan @moyurukoda

So many tabs…

I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -

I am fine with "the audience" -

downloading my fics

printing my fics

copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics

sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3

making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss

doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc

I am not fine with "the audience"

doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity

feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever

Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.

Enjoy the fandom things.

MY JEANS TORE RIGHT BELOW THE CROTCH MID-MARCHING BAND GIG. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT.

Now I have to go home and change jeans with the knowledge that I considered wearing my brand new jeans today before ultimately deciding not to because my old ones would be fine.

Batman can do anything — and anyone — he puts his mind to

Batman is such a great character NOT JUST because he's technically overpowered as hell but everyone loves that instead of being annoyed by it, but also because this fool is so shippable. He's bitchy enough that he can be coworkers-to-lovers with anyone on the Justice League. He's a control freak. He's a trust fund baby. He's a bit of a slut. He's a dad. He can change his personality at will but at his core he's a troll and a hater. Literally something for everyone.

I think I can sum up the issue with Grover's scenes this episode in one word; padding. And I mean genuine padding. That whole thing with Augustus was just a bunch of irrelevant stuff that wasted time in an already crammed episode. It's a pretty weird thing with this show that it seems to flip floop between rushing through plot points without giving the audience time to settle in and dragging out pretty minor stuff for the sake of unneeded exposition or comic relief.

I 100% agree with you