Cheat Code

erm so i lied and haven't written a single word since the last post LOL

for now here's the intro for my wip

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On your way back to the inn, you found a fool standing still in the middle of the street under the pouring sky.

Rain wasn’t uncommon in Oriflamme. On the flipside, it was fairly normal, something that you could expect once every few days. Sometimes, during the rainy season, the downpours would be longer, more frequent—but again, that was something that was fairly normal, happening once a year in the exact same month almost like an annual tradition. Anybody could get used to it, and anybody would be expecting it at this time of the year. The rain was entirely within your expectations.

It was a particularly normal day, and a particularly abnormal sight.

The evening sky was laden over with heavy grey clouds, and you had been returning to the inn you’d been lodging at with raindrops pelting against your coat fervently, when you encountered him.

Every other person you had seen on the street toted waterproof cloaks to shield themselves from the weather, but this man was standing in the middle of the empty street, drenched to the bone, head tilted up towards the sky and unmoving. It was difficult to make out what he looked like through the rain, but you could see them well enough. Golden locks soaked and facial features that looked like they’d been sculpted with expertise, you almost thought a talented artist had finished this statue and brandished it on the street as some sort of statement. After all, there was no reason anybody would be foolish enough to be standing around under this heavy shower completely unprepared.

Then the statue blinked, sneezed, and you hopelessly realised there was someone foolish enough to be standing around under this heavy shower completely unprepared.

The street was empty, and although you could have just walked past him without batting an eye, you knew it would weigh on your conscience afterwards. And you were a little curious. So you took a few steps towards him and called out.

“Um, excuse me?”

The non-statue turned towards you. Now that you were closer, and he was facing you, you wondered how a person could look so delicately handcrafted.

“It’s raining, you know?” you continued, speaking louder so you wouldn’t be muffled by the rain. “Aren’t you going to find some shelter?”

He blinked at you slowly, like he hadn’t even considered the thought. Then he said in a voice so soft the rain almost drowned him out, “Ah, I don’t have anywhere to return to for the time being, but thank you for your concern.”

…Was he homeless? You doubted it. Although he wasn’t wearing a rainproof coat, his clothes didn’t look like they belonged on just anyone. They looked expensive. Something you probably couldn’t afford without starving for an entire year, actually.

That just made you even more confused. Surely he could afford a room at any inn?

“You’ll catch a cold if you stay out here for too long,” you warned.

“I suppose that’s a possibility…” he mused, like it didn’t bother him at all.

Did he not care about himself at all, or was he actually a fool?

He smiled at you. “Thank you for your concern for me, but I’ll work something out.”

It was evening, easing into the night. Oriflamme was generally a safe city, but that didn’t mean its people were impervious to danger. And it didn’t look like the rain was going to let up any time soon. On the contrary, for the past few days, the rain would thunder on throughout the night.

Now, you had to preface that you gave it a lot of thought first. You completely considered that this could be some sort of scam or ruse, but if it was one, it would have to be a damn unreliable one. No one would approach statue-looking madmen on the street. You also knew how chilly nights in Oriflamme could get, and combined with the relentless rain, if anyone stayed out on the streets overnight… you’d feel awful for days if you knew you could’ve done something but chose not to. You didn’t have that much to lose anyway. In any case, it wasn’t like you were completely defenceless. And, above all, you somehow wanted to know more about him.

Pulling your cloak tighter over you, you sighed. “If you have nowhere else to go, would you like to come with me?”

He gave you a puzzled look. “Hm..?”

The rain was so loud, you almost didn’t catch it. “What?”

“I haven’t experienced it firsthand before, but isn’t this something men with nefarious motives usually say to young women?”

Why, this rude, sophisticated-looking effigy… “If you don’t want to, then I’m leaving.” You angled yourself away as if to walk around him.

He raised his brows. “Oh, no, I didn’t mean it that way—I was just surprised at your offer. Pardon me.” He took a step towards you. “If I wouldn’t be imposing too much, then I would be delighted to take you up on that. Only if you’re comfortable, of course.”

Well, you were the one who had initiated the offer, so even if you were,  it was a bit too late to say you were uncomfortable. “Alright then. Follow me.”

You walked a few paces forward, towards the inn you’d been staying at which wasn’t far, then stopped, turning to the sculpture-looking man again. He’d begun to follow you, and stopped when you did.

“Oh, I haven’t introduced myself.” You told him your name.

He started, like he’d almost forgotten about introductions. “Ah—!”

He bowed his head towards you hurriedly.

“My name is Joshua.”

moonbow

Joshua x Reader

544 words, fluff

Summary: Joshua has a nightmare and wants you to comfort him.

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A shake on your shoulder gently woke you up from your sleep.

Your eyes blinked open groggily. Was it already time to wake up? Before you could roll over and groan, pathetically pleading for another five more minutes, you realised the room was as dark and quiet as the night usually was. From where you laid on your bed, through the window next to you, the stars were still scattered across the sky. It wasn’t time to wake up yet. Something was amiss.

“I’m sorry. It’s still early.”

Early was an understatement. Eyes half-open, you turned your head to meet a misty blue gaze. “Mmhm,” you replied eloquently.

Joshua smiled at your reaction the way an adult would when a child did something silly—but his brows were creased. He must be worried about something.

He had been squatted beside your bed, but after you showed signs of being awake, he got up and sat with his hand pressed on the mattress, close enough to your face that you could see the fine lines and ridges along his skin.

“I had a dream about you,” he said, in a strangely quiet voice.

At that, your eyes widened a fraction. “You want to do it now?”

“I didn’t mean that kind of dream.” Oh. “...I had a nightmare.”

About you?

Rubbing the drowsiness out from your eyes, you heaved yourself up so you could look at him face-to-face. The moonlight from the window cast onto him, a perfect spotlight—for a brief moment, you thought he was an ephemeral creature who would shatter if you so much as blinked.

An ephemeral creature who’d had a nightmare about you, though. What was it? That you’d manifested into an ugly monster? That you’d died, or maybe that you’d turned on him, betrayed him and killed everyone he held dear? What should you say to him?

You slid your hand along the bed to interlock your fingers with his. “What happened?”

Joshua breathed, then fidgeting, looked away and at the opposite door like he’d done something wrong. “I dreamt that…” he was mumbling uncharacteristically, struggling to get the words out, “...you’d fallen in love with someone else.”

The stars outside were twinkling.

Your cheeks ballooned with silent laughter.

“Do not laugh at me,” he whined, even though he hadn’t even been looking at you.

“You know that would never happen, right?”

He turned his head back to look at you. Your shoulders were shaking with stifled giggling. “You are laughing at me now,” he grumbled.

“I didn’t mean that. I meant,” you tightened your fingers’ grip on his, leaning forward, “your nightmare. It’s silly.”

He rolled his eyes until they were half-lidded; you thought his eyelashes looked so long and pretty that way. Then he leaned forward, bumping the crown of his head against the front of your shoulder. “I want to hear it from you directly.”

You sighed, smiling helplessly, bringing your arms up to wrap around him in a hug. It almost felt like you were consoling a child. “I love you. Only you.”

Joshua remained still for a few seconds, and you started to wonder if that hadn’t been enough to appease him, when he slowly reached his arms out to coil around your waist.

“I love you, too.”

little cuts and bruises

Joshua x Reader (Joshua with a crush vs incredibly socially unaware reader)

1988 words, fluff

I wanted to write 10 seconds of handholding but this happened instead.

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“Tarja?”

You hadn’t heard the aforementioned stern lady barking at anyone, so when you poked your head into the infirmary, it wasn’t a surprise that she was nowhere to be seen. She would probably return in a matter of minutes, loaded with an onslaught of warranted naggings at the patients there. Your hands were still fully occupied with the herbs you had painstakingly scavenged for, and you didn’t quite feel like sitting around waiting for her, so you shouldered your way through the door and let yourself in.

Helping Tarja collect materials for her medicine was nothing new to you, anyway. For the most part, you knew where she kept what, so you might as well get started on keeping them. She would probably praise you, too, and the thought made you eagerly approach the drawers that were the medicinal treasury.

Pain streaked across your palm momentarily. You winced. A stalk from one of the herbs had dug into an open cut across your hand.

The most recent outing had been successful, but… of course it had been successful. You knew your way around a sword… well, maybe halfway around it? So it wasn’t your fault for running and rolling off a ledge to escape one of those giant monsters and bruising your palms terribly. Bruises were better than being probably dead. And one of the herbs you had been looking for was encased in a thorny bush, but you had been exhausted from running from the monster and just wanted to return to the Hideaway, so you had thrusted your hands through the spikes anyway. Your already worn out gloves failed to persevere and the thorns had sliced through them and right into the skin of your hands.

Injuring yourself was decently normal during scavenging, but you had to admit your hands were quite the bloodied sight this time.

…Tarja would probably scold you, too. Oh, well…

Before you reached the drawers, you caught sight of something rare.

“Oh.”

Joshua Rosfield, red scarf and gloves missing as they normally were when he was being treated, sat on the edge of a bed, was staring up at you, eyes wide like sparrow’s when a human approached it.

You clutched the herbs closer to your chest and bowed your head towards him slightly. “Joshua. Hello.”

A smile adorned his rosy lips as he mimicked you and bowed his head. “Hello. You’ve just returned, I take it?”

“Yes. I found all these… stuff.” Herbs, you scolded yourself inwardly. Sometimes you weren’t the best at talking. You lifted your arms slightly to gesture to them.

“Ah.” He nodded. “Thank you for all your hard work.”

He was working way harder than you, though.

You awkwardly nodded in reply and continued shuffling over to the drawer. Gingerly, you placed the herbs on top.

Your interactions with Joshua were limited, as were most people’s, you guessed. He kept to himself to a severe extent and didn’t speak much to the average Hideaway member. Not out of rudeness, you imagined. He never seemed at ease.

Because you reported directly to Clive, sometimes you did see and speak to Joshua. But only briefly, for the most part. You couldn’t quite recall any memorable events between the two of you–on your side, anyway. Maybe Joshua thought of you as an awkward, bumbling mess. Or maybe an incredibly helpful scavenger? Or maybe he thought nothing of you at all. It didn’t matter that much, you supposed. You hardly saw him. You addressed him by his first name since you addressed Clive by his first name, at his insistence, but you weren’t even sure if he knew yours.

A heavy cough snapped you out of your thoughts. Joshua was hunched over, hand shielding his mouth. You blinked, unsure of what to do for a second. (Get Tarja?) When blood dripped from his lips after he moves his crimson-stained hand, you rushed to kneel in front of him and touch his arm.

“Joshua–” What were you supposed to do? You knew the basics of medicine for minor cuts and wounds, but nothing about this deadly cough that plagued him.

Get Tarja. You scrambled to your feet.

Joshua reached out with his clean hand and grabbed your wrist, shaking his head. You paused.

“Tarja will be back soon.” He tilted his head up to lock his gaze onto yours, and for a moment, you noticed a bit too much how delicately his golden locks framed his face. He smiled wryly. “She’s left to retrieve something, but she said she won’t be long. I will be fine, I assure you.”

As you said, you knew nothing about this deadly cough that plagued him.

“Are you sure?” You squinted at him. “...You won’t run away again?” Tarja often complained about that.

“I won’t. As a matter of fact, she has taken my garments with her as hostage temporarily.”

Oh, the scarf and the glove. Not that that meant much. You imagined if someone burst into the infirmary screaming that Clive was in deep trouble, Joshua would leap out of the window and prime and Tarja’s rage later would be unassuageable. You knew that much about him.

But you weren’t a healer, and you probably wouldn’t help by meddling, so you nodded slowly. Maybe you could help wipe the blood off, though.

Looking around, you located a brown rag nearby on one of the tables. Neatly folded, so it should be clean. You stepped towards it, only to feel a tug on your wrist. You looked down. Joshua was still holding onto you.

Uh. “Um, excuse me.” With your free hand, you carefully pried his fingers off of you. Your cuts did not sting against his hands.

Joshua shrunk back, arm held in front of him almost defensively. He was frowning. “Are you in a rush?” Did he sound disappointed? You couldn’t clearly tell.

“Huh?” You furrowed your brows. “...No? I’m just getting…” You pointed at the cloth.

Joshua relaxed. “Oh, I see.”

You felt like it was hard to understand him at times.

You grabbed the cloth, returned, tousled your hand under it, then leaned forward to dab at his mouth softly. You ignored the way he was looking right at you with those vivid blue eyes of his. It was unnerving.

When you moved down to wipe his bloodied hand, he looked down, and suddenly bolted forward. You only had a split second to wonder if you somehow offended him before he grabbed both of your hands and turned them to face your palms upwards.

“What happened here?” he asked softly.

Your cuts and bruises were a nasty sight. And his hands felt so smooth and unblemished. How did he do it? They somehow reminded you of Torgal’s squishy paws.

You shrugged. “Went scavenging.” You tilted your head at the herbs you had deposited.

“And this happens normally?”

It was difficult to answer that, because you kept no track record of small things like these. “I guess so.” The grimace on his face told you he was not satisfied. “Someone has to go out and get them, right? We have a lot of fighters here, and they get hurt.”

“At your own expense?” he pressed, leaning closer to you.

You did not pull away, but you decided to stare at a spectacular corner of the room that didn’t have anything. “These aren’t that bad. Just a few days–and they’ll be all better… Tarja might be upset, but that’s all.” You were unsure why he was so upset over a few cuts and bruises across your hands.

Joshua was quiet. You shifted awkwardly, unsure of what to make of the silence, and glanced back at him.

Then he cocked his head, blinked slowly at you and smiled the same way someone would when reassuring a lost child. “I could help you, if you’d allow me?”

Did he know his way around these medicinal salves, too? Maybe it would be better than suffering a scolding from Tarja.

“Sure.”

Joshua began to stand up, and you took a step backwards to give him space. He turned your hands over and up so your palms faced him with his hands pressed against them, and interlocked your fingers with his.

You weren’t very sure what this was, but Joshua’s demeanor was known for sticking out like a sore, princely thumb. Groomed to become Rosaria’s archduke, and all. This could be some pre-treatment gesture they did in Rosarian culture or something. You had heard he had given Mid an awkward but well-meaning greeting, too.

The back of Joshua’s hands glowed, and only now you acutely remembered that he was the Phoenix’s Dominant, who had an uncontested healing prowess.

Flames unfurled from his hands and cozily cocooned around yours; it reminded you of drinking hot tea in a harsh winter. The bruises began to lighten, and your skin began to stitch itself together over the cuts. You stared, awed, watching the fire ripple across in waves of brilliant magic, then blinked up at him.

“Is this okay? I mean, the curse…”

He chuckled. “That price is much too small to deny rewarding the most hardworking and endearing member of our team.”

Your face felt warm. Part of it was because of the fire, you told yourself.

“That’s an overstatement, I think,” you mumbled.

“Is it? I don’t think so.”

You couldn’t think of a reply.

Soon, all the cuts and bruises had vanished and your hands looked like they hadn’t worked a day in the field. You withdrew your hands from his and turned them over and over again in wonder. Joshua leaned over slightly to join you in having a look at them.

Pristine. You could go back to your duties almost immediately, and you wouldn’t have to face the wrath of Tarja. You didn’t know how to express with words how grateful you were.

…Oh, right. Recently, you often saw Clive do this thing when he was thanking Jill. You had thought it was a bit too close, but they were both raised in Rosaria, so maybe it really was a royal Rosarian thing. (When you had asked Clive about it, he had said it was nothing, and then walked away strangely quickly.)

You leaned forward, standing on the tips of your toes just a little, and gently bumped your forehead against Joshua’s. Your eyes met his gaze.

“Thank you.”

…Hm, his face looked a little flushed. You guessed it was an aftereffect of using the Phoenix’s abilities.

The sound of his breathing somehow felt even louder in those few seconds. Then he drew back and dusted the hair out of your face with the back of his fingers.

“–Didn’t I tell you to stay in bed?”

You jumped backwards, swinging towards the door of the infirmary. Tarja was grunting at Joshua, as usual, and oddly empty-handed.

“My apologies.” Joshua made a half-smile, as if to appease her.

Her eyes fell on you, and she nodded, before she caught sight of the spoils you had retrieved earlier.

“Oh, thank the Founder,” she breathed, striding over to the herbs. “We’d just run out of these. I was looking to see if you’d come back. This one here,” she casted a dirty look in Joshua’s direction, “needs it urgently, you see.”

You started. “These were for him?”

“Of course. A guzzler of our medicinal supplies, that’s what he is.” She tipped her head at him. “You should thank your lifesaver.”

Joshua tilted his head, smile full of mirth. “It’s mutual, I suppose.”

“What are you blabbering about this time?” Tarja grumbled from sifting through the leaves.

She soon shooed you out of the infirmary, after letting you know Clive was looking for you again. You idly wandered down the corridor and stopped for a while to stroke a sleepy Torgal.

Maybe you should go get yourself more cuts and bruises on the next assignment, too. Just little ones.

on the brink

Joshua x Reader

653 words, comfort

Summary: If you died, Joshua wouldn’t know what to do with himself.

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The ceiling was spinning.

You hadn’t even realised your eyes had fluttered open and you didn’t even register that you had woken up after being asleep for a long, long time. Had you been sleeping? …You didn’t remember. Your arms and legs were heavier than lead. The rest of your body felt far away. You attempted wiggling your fingers, and with sizable effort, they obeyed begrudgingly.

Your vision focused on the wooden beams overhead. Oh, this must be the Hideaway’s infirmary.

Hadn’t you been journeying somewhere?

You remembered gnarled talons tearing at you and seeing red before you even saw the monster.

Oh, right. You had thought you were dead. Maybe you were, and heaven took the form of the Hideaway’s infirmary.

“...awake,” you barely heard someone say. You searched for a face, but as long as you didn’t move, all you had was a wide view of the creaky wood on top. “Can you move?”

It was Tarja. Stomach tensed, you pulled yourself up with everything you had left in you. Surprisingly, you were successful.

The first face that greeted you was Tarja’s. No surprise there. Laden over the rest of the infirmary beds were familiar faces. Your team members for that most recent assignment—and none of them were awake.

Joshua stood at the foot of your bed, lips pressed together so tightly they were turning white.

Your head spun. “What was..?”

“You’re lucky Clive found all of you when he did,” Tarja said. She was sitting on a stool, fiddling and doing something or other with a bowl. “I’d have less patients to tend to if he didn’t. Living ones, at least. And as for you,” she grimaced, “with the shape you came in, normally, you’d never be out in the field ever again.”

You felt like you were going to vomit. “Then I—”

Tarja patted Joshua’s arm. “You’ll be as good as new in a week, I’d say. Thank him.”

Joshua?

Now you understood. Never setting foot in the field ever again was an understatement from Tarja. You’d already be dead if it weren’t for the flames of the Phoenix.

Clenching the blanket in fistfuls, you began, “Joshua—”

Hearing his name from you broke a dam inside of him that you hadn’t even known was there. He was over by your side in two strides and before you could continue, he throttled you in an embrace, weight pushed onto you and face buried in the nook of your neck. You heard Tarja complaining (“Hey, be gentle with the patient!”) but her words fell on deaf ears. You shifted, raising a hand to steady on his back, letting him all but melt into you.

“I—I thought—” He was stuttering, something you’d never witnessed from him before.

You didn’t know what it was, but hearing him, feeling his touch—you felt the firing of your neurons and life pulsating through your veins. You were alive again.

“You’re back.” Joshua sounded like he was stifling a sob, and when you felt warm wetness pool in the shoulder of your shirt, you raised your other hand to the side of his head.

“I’m here,” you reassured him.

“I thought you’d left forever…”

“I haven’t.”

Tarja raised a brow at you and turned to leave to the other side of the partition. You supposed that meant you were in the clear.

Joshua peered up at you ever so slightly, but enough for you to see part of his tear-tracked cheeks and glistening eyes. You met his gaze, now wide alert, and then he buried himself in your shoulder again like a puppy did in its familiar bed.

You turned your head and lowered it, resting your cheek against his fluffy tresses.

“Please…” his voice, almost a cry, was muffled, “don’t go somewhere far away again.”

His grip on you was tight like you were going to slip away in a moment’s notice. You rocked him gently.

“I won’t.”

i’m working on more joshua x reader i just haven’t had any time recently... thank u for being patient ;(

To Kiss is to Hunger

pairing: Joshua Rosfield x Fem!Reader rating: Mature word count: 5.0K summary: You are terrified to kiss Joshua. Joshua has an idea to remedy that.

warnings: practice kissing, grinding, touching, intimacy, mutual pining, insecurities and self-doubt, just straight up romance

Author’s Notes: Ngl I know I said it would be a little frisky, but just so happens I made it just a little bit friskier because Joshua is just a touch starved man. Just a heads up, please read my pinned post before following me! Minors and ageless blogs will be blocked as this blog’s content is NSFW.

[AO3 link]

You couldn’t fathom why you are in the Shelves this late into the night. ‘It’s silly.” You think, walking around, trying to find anything to help you with your little dilemma. You tried to put your brain to rest, to calm its ravenous thoughts of anxiety, but the efforts were futile. And it is all because a teasing strawberry blond tried to kiss you.

You and the young Lord got quite close after his arrival to the Hideaway. You help out as a barmaid for Molly in the Ale House, and the first night of Joshua being out of the infirmary after the fall of Drake’s Tail had been all the talk. You would overhear conversations about how charming he was, how he was very knowledgeable about the lands of Valisthea, and how he is the brother of the leader of the Hideaway. He piqued your curiosity, as most newcomers do, but you didn’t think anything to come of it.

There was one night, however, where service wasn’t off its rig, and you had decided to take that time to practice your reading. Reading and writing are forbidden practices for Branded, and you were only able to learn reading due to old, scribbled writings thrown into the trash bins. You would rummage through for every written scrap in the dead of night and return it before your enslavers came to. To you, it was a piece to the puzzle of your freedom. But only a piece. 

You were reading an old children’s fairytale: a prince in search of the long-lost princess who searched day and night to find her. You were immersed, so much so you hadn’t noticed the presence in front of you, seemingly still but present all the same. 

“Ah, I read that story many times as a child. A true classic.”

Your head had snapped so far back you thought you would’ve fallen backwards. Your eyes jumped until they landed on the man before you, and you remember how wonderstruck you felt. He was the most beautiful man you had ever seen, and the way he was looking at you had your stomach producing butterflies. You felt a sense of embarrassment, however, as the book you were reading was adapted for children. You knew those born with a silver spoon were highly educated, so to have someone as handsome and surely intelligent as he watching you read made you nervous to be a laughing stock. 

“Yeah, but it’s more of a watered down version of it. I’m sure I’ll get to read the original someday.” You had awkwardly explained, waiting for him to make a joke of your lack of ability to read at a level that matched your maturity. That joke, however, never came. He stayed and asked you questions, such as who your favorite character was, what your favorite part of the story was, and so on. That conversation led beyond the book, and it is a fond memory of the golden boy.

It wasn’t long after that he offered to tutor you and made an extraordinary effort to give you books about topics you liked. Hell, he would even bring books back from long expeditions that him, Clive, and Jill would go on. “I found this story about sea fairies that I thought you would like.” “I saw a merchant selling a copy of this book I think you’ll enjoy.” “This book made me think of you.”

After many nights and days passing, it had become apparent that your heart had let him in, and you were relieved to know that his heart blazed for you also. However, unlike you, he is very evident about how he shows his feelings for you. He initiated the first hand holding, the first embrace, every tender moment you both have shared has been started by him. It makes you nervous, he makes you nervous, but in a conflicting way because you want everything he has to offer, yet your life of being treated less than for so long has put in the fear of not being enough. You fear you will misstep, embarrass yourself, he will realize he can have someone better, and let you down gently. He is a gentleman, after all.

All of the insecurities and doubts you hold have led you to the shelves due to this past evening's events.

-

A gathering of many members of the Hideaway was taking place, enjoying each other’s company, exchanging stories from the road, and eating and drinking so good that spirits were at an all time high. About halfway through the evening, Joshua and Clive had returned from their mission that had kept them away for well over a week, and joined everyone in the festivities. You could feel Joshua’s eyes on you constantly as you worked, soft gazes in your direction as you brought over more ale. You hadn’t seen each other since he had left, and you could see from the look in his eyes that he wanted you close, longing for your time. 

And you weren’t the only one to sense it.

“Go on.” You heard Molly speak as you polished the cups.

“Hmmm?” You turned to see her smirking at you, nudging her head in the direction of the young Rosfield. 

“You are free of your duties. You spend some time with everyone, especially you know who.” 

You shook your head, your cheeks flushed. “I appreciate it, but Molly there is a lot to clean up. I can’t ask you to do this all by yourself.”

“Nonsense.” She scoffed, walking to you, taking the scrub and cup out of your hands, only to set them aside to grab your own. “We all deserve a little down time. Please, I insist.”

You hesitated, and her eyes softened. “In these troubling times, every moment counts; for anything can happen at any time. We must be selfish with our time.” 

That alone had set you into motion. You had walked over to sit beside him, hip to hip, his arm draped around your side with his head leaning slightly against your own as Clive shared his and his brother’s adventures. 

You could tell Joshua was more touchy than normal, not that you minded. You would feel him squeeze you from time to time. If you shifted slightly, he would adjust so you were still close to him. You would feel him turn his head to bury his face into your hair, gentle caresses of his lips against your scalp. No words were spoken between the two of you, just enjoying the night together with everyone. But even nights like these had to end. 

You called it a night, telling everyone that you were going to head to the bed chambers, but not before Joshua insisted on walking you there. The two of you had bid goodnight to the others, and with your hand in Joshua’s grasp, the two of you walked to the bed chambers, small talk between the two of you as you both headed there slowly.  

“I can’t believe you let Clive do that.” You giggled, Joshua’s story about his older brother shoving a carrot into his mouth to make him sick. 

“He had reason, for we were in an unfortunate situation. We needed a reason to slip away.” Joshua grimaced, vaguely remembering the taste of the raw carrot. “Besides, I have always had a soft spot for my brother. I’d do anything for him.”

“I know having him back in your life has been a gift.” You smiled, waving his arm back and forth as you both approached the bed chambers. He pulled your arm back gently, causing you to turn into his arms. The way he was looking at you left you speechless; a thousand words being spoken through one look. 

“Why yes, it has truly been a gift by the Founder to be reunited with my brother.” He brings your hand up to his chest, right above his heart; the thumping gingerly warming up your palm. “It has also been a gift to have the honor of being allowed your time, my lady.”

You shook your head, but before you could’ve said anything, Joshua had spoken once more. “On the topic of gifts, I have something for you.” 

He slipped his free hand into the large pouch of his belt and pulled out what you can see is a book. He placed the book in both of your hands, grazing them before allowing you to inspect it. You recognized the artistry of the book: hardbound leather, intricate gold lining, and a sturdy weight in your hand. You looked at the title and you found yourself releasing a shaky breath. 

“I thought you said there were no more copies.” You whispered, in disbelief as to what you were seeing. Enchanting thy Fair Maiden. It was a copy of a book Joshua has praised over. He would recite lines to you from what he memorized as a child, and you would ask him to retell them to you over and over again, never tiring from hearing his smooth voice telling you a tale.

“It took some bartering, but it was worth it if it means I could grant you a copy.” 

Snapping from your mind, you looked to him, shaking your head in disbelief. “Joshua, I can’t accept this. This is one of your favorite stories. You should keep it.” 

You tried pushing the book back into Joshua’s, but not before him grasping both of your hands and gently pushing it back into your vicinity. “My lady.” He begged. “I can reassure you that nothing would please me more than you accepting this gift.”

You stayed silent for a moment, a brief pause in the timeline aside from you and him, before smiling shyly, looking away from him in a flush. “I will cherish this for all days, Joshua. Maybe you can read it to me properly sometime.”

“Anything for you, dearest.” 

Your gaze stayed down, not knowing how to bid farewell for the night, before you felt Joshua’s hand lightly touch your cheek, lifting your face for him to look upon. You sensed a certain hesitancy, his eyes seeking for something on your face before landing back on your own. 

“May I try something?” 

Everything started to go slow and fast at the same time, your mind racing and hyper focusing on every detail. You focused on how much closer Joshua had gotten to you, how his body heat had your body melting tenfold, how his face leaned down to yours, his hand stroking your cheek. You realized what he was asking to do: he was asking to kiss you.

Sudden flashes of self-doubt came crashing down onto you, Joshua’s hand on your branded cheek making you feel self-conscious. What is he doing? How can he want to kiss me? Oh, Greagor be with me, I have never kissed anyone. I am going to make a fool of myself!

Out of reflex and fear, you stepped back and away from Joshua’s reach. He looked startled, not expecting your reaction, and all you could do was stare at him as you calmed your heart down. You felt embarrassment shudder down your spine, but you knew that it would have been worse if you had attempted to kiss him. 

You tried to shrug it off, chuckling awkwardly as if that would erase the last few seconds of shame you felt. “It is late. I’m afraid I must turn in. Goodnight, Joshua.” 

You flung the chamber door open and closed it just as fast without a glance in Joshua’s direction, your back hitting the wood as you worked your anxieties down.

Now you’ve really done it stupid stupid STUPID!

-

So here you are, looking for a kissing manual that doesn’t exist.

“I can’t believe it has come to this.” You moan, shaking your head at how pathetic you currently feel. You want to kiss him; of course you want to kiss him! But the thought of kissing him and making a complete fool out of yourself has strung itself high in your head. You will do anything to ease your anxieties, and if finding literature that will help you is the way, then so be it. 

You keep searching the shelves, and finally you see something that catches your attention. You see a book with a deep red spine, and immediately you become curious. Red means romance which maybe means kissing, right? you think and go to reach for it, your tippy toes giving you an extra inch that helps you grab the old spine of the book. Once the book is grasped, you give it a once over and what you see is nothing at all. The book has no title, no author, no nothing. Just hardbound leather that looks as if it had been dyed with blood. 

You move to sit at a table, the kissing debacle hiding in the back of your skull as a new curiosity peeks. You stare at the book intently, like it was going to open up for you to tell you all of its secrets. A book with no visible identity, no mark.

The curiosity killed the cat as you finally flipped it open, the crackle of the pages singing, showing its age. The first few pages are barren with no offering until you reach the first official page. You read, smiling because you can read everything on the page in comprehension, but also because it’s a love poem. You never have had the chance to read poetry thus far, so this was a treat for you. Just the thing I need to ease my mind.

You continue reading the poems, most being about love, companionship, and things in the realm of romance. As you read them, you picture Joshua and yourself, like the two of you were living in the reality of this book full of lovely prose. In a way, it makes you recognize that maybe what Joshua sees in you is what you are imagining right now: a lover, a partner for life. You feel a sense of confidence swell in you, so you read on, addicted to the words written out.

Until you get to the next page.

What you read next halts your breathing, slowing it down to stop fire from growing in your chest. This poem is about the same things previously stated, love, romance, companionship, but in a much more intimate form. The words strung together formed the most erotic sentences, words of longing for the senses. They make you blush hotly; they make you antsy in your chair while locked in, but most especially they make your mind run wild with fantasies of you and him. 

Oh, you and him.

You mind wanders as you read, zoning out into a reality where you exude the confidence to give into Joshua’s desires and more. The words dig into your skin, warming you up that your thin nightgown felt like plenty of layers on this cool night. You are so immersed that you don’t hear the large doors open, and the calling of your name feels like a figment of your imagination. It’s not until you feel the warmth on your shoulders that you are brought back, feeling like a bucket of cold water has been dropped over your head from the cold sweat.

You slam the book shut, turning so quickly that the room starts to spin before the warmth on your shoulders grows firm, steadying you in your seat. You look to see Joshua staring at you, worry showing on his face seemingly from your reaction. “I deeply apologize, my lady. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

You breathe a chuckle, seeing him here at a time like this would be your luck. You cross your arms, becoming extremely aware of your lack of clothing under his gaze. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask the same of you.” He retorts and pulls out a chair to sit facing you. “Truthfully, I couldn’t sleep much. I came here to see if doing more research would tire me, but it seems fate has chosen a more direct route to my restlessness.”

You see why he can’t sleep, and sigh because this is from your doing. “Joshua, you have nothing to fret over. You did nothing wrong.”

“But I’m afraid you are wrong, my lady. I shouldn’t have been so forward, and to know I put you in an uncomfortable position upsets me greatly. I would never dream of making you uneasy, and for my mishaps I must apologize to you. I cannot bear the thought of you keeping your distance because of my foolishness.” 

You watch him as he apologizes for his directness, which internally makes you laugh because that isn’t the issue. You love his directness, just as he is being direct with you right now. It’s you. It’s your cowardice for wanting something more and not having the courage to pursue because of the what ifs, the buts, the howevers. It’s your fear of rejection because of your lived experiences. It’s you, not him. 

“Joshua.” You state, moving to grab his hands within your own. “You did nothing wrong.”

“My lady, please I-” 

“Shhh,” you hush. “Let me speak.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, and I apologize for making you feel you need to.” You exhale, preparing to open yourself up for display. “It’s all me. I’m inexperienced, and I’ve been viewed as nothing for so long that I’m fearful that one misstep will set you away; that you can have someone who knows what they are doing and have the confidence to show for it.”

“Is that really what this is about?” Joshua asks.

You nod, looking down at the two of your intertwined hands. You see Joshua’s hands pull away from yours and your breath shakes. This is it. He is going to leave. That’s until you feel the heat that only the Phoenix could exude on your cheeks, your head being brought up to see him smiling. “My dearest,” Joshua whispers, as if talking any louder would damn him. “You are my everything, for you have captured me: mind, body, and soul. Also, your inexperience mirrors mine, I can assure you.”

Your eyes widen. “There is no way that can be true. You are a Lord.”

He’s laughing now, shaking his head as his hands go back to you, grasping them with care. “I was only a child then. Besides, the Undying were very protective of me under their care. There was no time nor place for such things. Even then, the only person that was always allowed in my vicinity was Jote, and we have never viewed each other romantically.”

“So, there really has been no one?” You whisper, your mind stuck between disbelief and credence.

“No. Not until now.” He squeezes your hands. “My heart belongs to you, and you alone. There is no one else I’d rather give myself to.”

You shiver, the idea of experiencing forms of intimacy together for the first time spreads a raging fire in your stomach. “You sure have a way with words, Joshua Rosfield.”

“You can thank all of the romance novels I read in my youth.” He chuckles. “Speaking of books, what were you reading?”

“What?” You ask, forgetting about the erotica sitting inches away from you. 

“The book you were reading. I don’t believe I have read that one yet. May I take a look?” 

You are panicking, knowing the contents of the book and who is asking to take a peek. You go to grab it, reacting as fast as you could, but alas you reacted too late. Joshua now has the book, opening the page you had left off on, and starts to read. You see his eyes go wide, his pupils dilating, his fingers fidgeting against the page he is holding. You freak out, going to reach for the book before he reads further. “Okay Joshua, that’s enough.” A smile creeps up slowly on his face, humming as he moves to stand up before your fingertips touch the book, backing away slowly as he continues. You stand up, walking up to him to get that god forsaken book away from him. 

“Oh Joshua, please give me back the book!” You panic. 

“By the Founder, what possessed you to read this smut?” Joshua smirks, seamlessly avoiding your grabby hands as he reads the pages. “Especially in the middle of the night?”

He wasn’t meant to see this! He wasn’t meant to see you reading the abhorrent words you were consuming. He wasn’t meant to see you like this in your flimsy gown. Damn me! Why did I not cover up more?!

“To taste the lips is to be fulfilled, for the instinct of man is to claim, conquer, and revel in the midst of her flesh. To kiss is to hunger, to feast among the softest of petals that call to him, beckoning for his return to get both of their fills.”

You are internally screaming now. You can’t believe he is tormenting you like this. You are still reaching for the book, desperate for this nightmare to end, before you hear an “oomph” as Joshua’s back collides into one of the shelves. You snatch the book from him, running back to put it back where it came from. “Okay, enough please!”

“Forgive me.” Joshua says, although it is said with a devilish grin. “I just didn’t know you had such… exquisite taste.”

“I didn’t even know what was in the book when I pulled it.” You say defensively, hands waving manically in front of you like they would make you more convincing. “I was just trying to find something that would help give me the courage.”

As if that isn’t as embarrassing, or even more so.

“What if we do something that helps us both gain courage? A practice session if you will.” Joshua says from the other side of the room, keeping his distance to see what tone you will take.

“What do you have in mind?” You draw out nervously, twiddling your thumbs in anticipation.

Joshua walks back over to where you both had sat, moving the chair so it was facing you before sitting down. He rubs his thighs a little as if he needed to warm them up, before patting his lap. “Come take a seat.”

Instinct has you taking a step forward before a hitch finds itself in your feet, stopping them all together. 

“Do you trust me?” He asks sincerely.

“Of course, I do.” You quickly blurt out, as if answering a second later would draw doubt. 

He smiles, his hand reaching out to invite you over. “Then please, my dearest, come to me.”

You take a deep breath and walk over till you stand before him. You grasp his hand, tingles running up your arm as he pulls you to him and guides you onto his lap. Your hands move to steady yourself on his shoulders, while he places his hands on your lower back to support you. Your legs dangle on either side of the chair, your gown riding up your thighs which you are all too aware of. However, you note that Joshua is only looking at you, gauging to see where your head is. “Is this okay, my lady?”

“Mhmm.” You hum, trying to calm your rapid heart. This is so intimate, too intimate, but you want it. You want him. You want to create every kind of intimacy with him, and this is a start. You knew that it is time to take that leap, especially since he will take that leap with you. 

“Joshua,” you murmur, eyes still on his. “Will you kiss me?”

“As you wish, my love.” 

You close your eyes, leaning in slightly to show that you aren’t backing out. You feel one of Joshua’s hands move to your left cheek, your branded cheek, tracing it with his thumb gently. Soon you feel him move forward, his forehead sitting against yours, his breath hitting your lips in puffs. The anticipation was killing you, your hands squeezing his shoulders to urge him on, and before you know it his lips are against your own. The kiss is light, a sweet peck before pulling away slightly, only to go back to give one more. You both are testing the waters, giving into each other slowly until the two of you start to grow peckish.

The kiss is gradual, pecks graduating to long lip locks and more movement. Your hands have found homage in Joshua’s hair, gripping not too hard but enough to show him how much you are enjoying him. His hands found their way to the crease of your hips, gripping the flesh to keep you in place. You can feel yourself growing restless, needing more of him within your senses. 

It’s like he can read your mind as his hands bring your body closer. A gasp leaves your lips as his groin settles against your heat, leaving your head spinning. His kisses become feverish, his hands roaming up and down your thighs, your nightgown receding higher in the process. You sense satiability is nowhere in sight, the movements of his body proving to you that the absence of intimate touch has turned him into a depraved man. Because even though Joshua Rosfield is a gentleman with a heart of selflessness, he is still a man with selfish desires and needs.

Your hands go back to grip at his shoulders, trying to calm yourself from his ministrations. A wetness hits your lips, and your mouth opens willingly, needing to taste him further. Your tongues melt together, creating a unique taste between the two of you that’s so addicting you don’t know how either of you will stop. You lean more into him, your hands going back to his hair to control his movements, causing him to groan in the most sinful way. You pull away, giggling knowing you got him to make such pretty sounds. The confidence from it goes straight to your head, going right back in for his lips to have him make more delicious sounds. 

A deep feral groan is released from Joshua’s throat, causing him to pull away in heavy breaths. He looks at you with hazy eyes, smiling deliriously. “You will be the death of me, my love.”

Your hands are now trailing from his hair to his chest, your hands running up and down the fabric of his tunic, feeling the toned body beneath it all. Your head leans back against his forehead, both of your breaths heavy on each other’s lips. “Then shall death keep us together, never parted.”

Joshua leans up back to your lips, kissing you hungrily, your declaration causing him to hunger for more. You still had the high ground, you being on top giving you more opportunity to take the lead. You knew this could be too soon, a little risky, but your sureness that Joshua feels the same hunger as you do is enough to convince you. You start to grind down slowly on top of him, your undergarments and his matching tunic pants the only barriers. 

“Fuck,” Joshua draws out breathless, his arms coming up to wrap around you to ground himself. 

“Does that feel good, my Lord?” You smile, feeling over the moon that you are making him act this way. 

“You have no idea.” Joshua gasps. “You have turned me into a new man.”

You giggle as you continue your movements. “Is that so?”

“By the Founder, yes!” He groans loudly at a particular movement of your hips. “How about I show you.”

Suddenly you are being lifted up, your butt settled onto a hard surface, legs spread apart by Joshua’s hips, and warm lips ravishing your own. Your nightgown is definitely way past your legs now, bunched up at your hips with Joshua’s hands right under the fabric. This new side of Joshua has you addicted, the push and pull the both of you are playing at exciting you more. You release his lips and lean up to his neck, nipping at the skin at the juncture of his neck and jaw. His breath hitches, leaning into you as you nip and kiss his neck. It’s as if he is hypnotized by your love bites, casting a spell on him. Your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him closer to you, but in an instant everything stops.

You open your eyes to see Joshua breathing hard, his hands gripping the table. Your hands go to his face, worry etching into your brain. “Darling, did I do something wrong?”

Joshua laughs, his eyes opening to look right back at you. “Absolutely not.” His hands go to yours on his face, holding onto each one as he brings them down. “I just don’t want to accomplish everything in one night, especially here in the Shelves.”

He pulls you up to your feet, your hands still in his as he looks at you with the brightest smile on his face. “I want to have time to savor you when the time is right.”

Even after all of that, he is still ever the gentleman. 

“I agree. I’m sorry if I went too far.” You chuckle, a tinge of embarrassment in your tone. 

Joshua embraces you, his head tucked into your neck. “You have nothing to apologize for. I hope you don’t think I had ulterior motives.”

“Never,” you say quickly, squeezing him to you.

“We should head back to our respective beds before people notice we’ve disappeared.” Joshua hums.

You hum in agreement and pull back, so you are now under Joshua’s arm. Both of you head out the doors of the Shelves into the cool night air. You shiver, and Joshua brings you in closer to shield you from the cold. He walks you back to the bed chambers, and before he departs, he places a light kiss on your lips, causing your eyes to flutter close at the bliss you feel in the moment. 

“Goodnight, my dearest. I shall see you in the morning.” Joshua says after he pulls away.

“Goodnight, Joshua. But before you go, may I request something?” 

“Anything for you, my dearest.” 

“Can we practice some more later? You are my tutor after all.” And my lover, my partner for life.

Joshua beams at you. “I would love nothing more.”

Somethings Never Change, Feelings Never Fade 1/?

This is a long (long) one shot for Joshua Rosfield. I came in as a huge Clive fan but in the end Joshua stole it all. So here is a long ass story dedicated to one of my faves featuring an OC. This story will be about 3 parts long. Enjoy!

TW: mentions of death, blood, prostitution.

Word count: 3.7K

Character:

Name: Kadenza Gender: Female Race: Human/Black Age(s): 10 (prologue); 18; 23 (in game first time skip); 28 (in game second time skip) Eye color: dark brown Height: 5'3 Hair: sandy brown and curly almost shoulder length

Part 1: The flow of time and life

The Grand Duchy of Rosaria

Watching with bated breath I gasped out in awe at the prowess of the first shield, Clive Rosfield. Not a boy but not yet a man and he had possessed such power. I couldn't help but marvel at that fact. How I wished to wield a sword with such precision, then I would fear not the loss of another but to also be a pillar of strength such as him.

"He's amazing! Wonderful! STUPENDOUS!" I cry out as I clasp my hands together. Watching Clive train among Rosaria's Shields had to be one of my favorite parts of the day. With all my heart, I hoped to someday serve as a shield and looked upon him as motivation that one day I too would be able to fight just like him or at least alongside him. "Amazing Clive!"

Beside me I heard the giggles of Jill as she too, clapped in agreement, "He is quite strong. A fine swordsman, indeed."

"Yes, yes! I agree!" I nod enthusiastically, "One day, I'll be just like him."

From beside me Jill beams as we make eye contact, "You truly want to be a swordswoman that bad?"

"Of course! I can protect the Duchy that has taken me in as their ward and has treated me with kindness. I wish to repay my gratitude." I smile to myself as I look back to the two sparring warriors.

"If you dedicate all your time to that, how ever will you spend time with Joshua? Isn't he helping you with your reading?"

Just the talk of reading made my face scrunch in disdain. I hated reading… but with Jill and Clive's insistence, along with a light scolding from the Archduke himself that a lady should be well learned, I was forced to read and practice my script. How dull.

"I'd much rather fight- Joshua could always watch."

A snicker leaves her lips as she shakes her head at my stubbornness. I knew I could be a pain sometimes. Too headstrong and never wanting to conform to what was expected of me. I wanted, with all my heart, to be a Shield of Rosaria yet the Duchess preferred that someone of my "status'' be an attendant to the Duchy or moreso… a lady in waiting for whenever she decided her precious son be betrothed.

"Why must I pay my gratitude in servitude to something so boring? A lady in waiting? What a waste… I am far more capable than a docile wall flower…"

"I agree."

Gasping at the sudden intrusion of another voice, I turn to see Joshua standing with his hands behind his back smiling up at where Jill and I sat atop a large crate.

"What are you doing here?" Jill asks as she slowly turns her attention back to the training ground where Clive and the Lord Commander spar.

Moving closer he looks up to us with a shy smile, "I have come for Kadenza… It is time for our studies."

Scoffing, I turn my head to the side with a slight pout on my face, much to the amusement of Jill as she turns back to watch the bickering that was to ensue. "I wish not to study- I much rather watch our valiant Shields, for one day I too will also take up sword and shield."

Letting out a sigh, Joshua is all too familiar with this argument "That may be so but you mustn't neglect your studies."

"Studies? To be a flower, polished and prim. No. I shall stay."

"Kadenza. You know it's your duty as it is mine. Please… must we have this argument each time?" Joshua pleads, stepping closer and reaching his hand out to mine. Friend or not he would not trick me once again with his sweet natured approach. All too often I found myself bending at his will but not at this moment.

Hopping down from my position alongside Jill, I stare the young Phoenix in his icy blue eyes defiantly, "Yes we will argue for I could care less about studies. I am to be a warrior not a lady!"

"Kadenza!" Joshua exasperates.

A hearty chuckle sounds off behind us as the Lord Commander leans against the fence post watching Joshua and I. Clive has found purchase alongside the Commander just as eager to watch.

"This again, Kadenza?" Clive laughs as I stomp my foot.

"But-"

"Lady Kadenza. As fiery as always, maybe you are meant to bare steel!" Lord Murdoch laughs as I turn to him beaming with pride before it is immediately crushed with his next statement, "Yet your duty at the moment is to bare quill and ink."

"But my lord-"

"My lady, please see to your studies. Your quibble with the young lord is quite unbecoming and… distracting." He laughs as I pout even more.

I cross my arms, turning away from everyone annoyed, "Fine… but I won't like it."

Joshua grins at my defeat before reaching for my wrist, "Come now. We've much to cover!" Pulling me behind him I groan in disdain as he pulls me behind him as the training grounds disappear from my sight.

–

Weaving through the halls of the Duchy, I realized we were not headed to study. "Joshua? Where are we going?"

"Shh- just a bit further." He grins glancing back at me before continuing his trek. I can only eye him in suspicion as he tugs me along with him until we finally come to a nearly empty storage room within the castle.

With inquiring eyes I look around at the space confused "Why are we here? I thought we were going to study."

Nervously glancing at his feet he looks up through wisps of fluffy hair almost bashful, "We are… but I wanted to give you something first… for your birthday."

Slightly taken aback, I feel my heart skip a beat suddenly flustered. I never knew my birthday, only my age… and sometimes that was questionable. I had been found by Archduke Rosfield, my home in tatters due to war. At that moment as I stared into his steely blue eyes all I knew was that I could not find my parents and that I didn't want to die… Everything else was irrelevant and remained so even until now.

"My birthday…? But I don't have one, you know that?" I whisper.

Taking a few steps forward Joshua grabs my hands and smiles, "That's why from this day forward, today will be your birthday. And I have a present for you to prove it! Close your eyes."

"A present, for me?"

"Yes but you must close your eyes." He laughs watching as I hesitantly close my eyes. Listening to his footsteps. I heard rummaging and little huffs of his breath. I do my best to try not to peek but the excitement of receiving a gift never seemed to fail me.

And as the anticipation is finally getting to me and I nearly peek when I hear Joshua's light scolding, "You can't look yet!"

I giggle but continue to keep my eyes closed as I hear his footsteps near me again. "Kadenza, hold your hands out."

Bouncing on my toes in excitement I lift my hands waiting for whatever it was that Joshua planned to give me and then I feel it. A soft weight plops into my hands. At this point I am chewing my lower lip in excitement, "Can I look now?'

"Yes."

Opening my eyes, I look down at the cloth in my hands tied with twine, "Can I… can I open it?"

"Of course it's your birthday gift!" He chirps in anticipation.

Smiling brightly I untie the twine, letting it fall to the ground before unwrapping the cloth. I gasp in amazement at what was hidden inside. A dagger. A dagger of simple design with a leather bound handle that had initials engraved on it, KR.

"This is… for me? What are the initials?"

Grinning, Joshua reaches for the dagger but hesitates. He looks to me for permission and I nod. Gingerly taking the blade in his hand he smiles, "It is yours… and they are your initials. K for Kadenza and R for Rosfield."

I looked at him in surprise… Not only was I given a birthday and a present but also a last name, "Joshua…?"

"Would you mind kneeling?"

I nod slightly confused and look up to him waiting to see what he planned.

"I knight thee Kadenza Rosfield. To be not only a sword but a shield of Rosaria. May you hold this dagger until it is replaced by the steel of a sword." My eyes widen in shock as he taps the dagger on each of my shoulders before gently tapping it upon my head.

"With the flames of the Phoenix, may you be blessed."

"Joshua…"

Joshua reaches for my hand and helps me to my feet embracing me in a hug, "You are my best friend and I will always be on your side. When I become Archduke, you will be one of my shields. My mother won't have a say then."

Pulling away from the hug we observe each other before laughing, "I look forward to it, thank you for the birthday gift."

"What are friends for?" He snickers before all color drains from his face as he hears our names being shouted through the castle. "It seems we might be in trouble for skipping our lessons."

–

Later that night, I was searching the castle looking for Joshua. I heard that at daybreak he and the Archduke would set off for Phoenix Gate. I couldn't help but worry… Being the Phoenix and all… it was quite a burden. Wherever he is, I'll find him and raise his spirits before he leaves. It's the least I can do for my best friend.

After sneaking through the castle for nearly 15 minutes I finally find Joshua, sitting in the gardens on the ground with his shoulders slumped watching the night sky.

"Joshua?"

He hums in acknowledgment but doesn't answer me.

"Tomorrow… you will be going to Phoenix Gate." I mention as I take a seat beside him on the ground, "Are you nervous?"

He heaves a sigh as he glances towards me, "A little… everyone's doing their part but I'm afraid."

"Afraid?"

"I am the Phoenix but what if I'm not good enough… Clive and everyone are doing their parts but what if I can't?"

Furrowing my brows, I know there's not much I can do to ease his fear but I know that there's at least one thing I can do.

"The only thing you can't do is grow tall and eat carrots," I jest as he quickly whips his attention to me, a playful smile donning his face.

Shoving my shoulder slightly he laughs, "That's not fair! I too can grow taller- it's just not my time yet!"

"Well then how about the carrots?" He reaches to push me again before I get up and start to run away.

"Hey come back!" He whisper shouts as he chases after me.

"Not a chance! Eat your carrots and you might be able to keep up. Or better yet, grow taller! Maybe then with long legs you can catch me."

"Just you wait! I'll grow taller and you'll never be able to escape me!"

Doing our best to not laugh too loudly, we play among the gardens to our hearts content, that is until our attendants are alerted to our whereabouts. As we're both reprimanded we do our best not to laugh as we steal glances at each other before being escorted off to our separate chambers.

May the Founders protect you, Joshua.

–

At dawn Joshua and the Archduke left, and not too shortly after, Clive along with two other Shields set off on their own mission. Watching them depart, all I could do was pray that the Founders be with them as they venture to Phoenix Gate.

With everything being so quiet, the day passed on uneventfully. With not as many distractions to keep me busy, I had been forced by the Duchess herself to sit down to learn more etiquette for my eventual position of lady in waiting. Luckily, Jill was with me most of the time so it wasn’t entirely too painful. But just like that the day comes to pass.

Changing into a nightgown, I breathe out a sigh wondering how Joshua was doing. He was so nervous this morning but I’m sure he’s doing his part to fulfill his duty.

Getting down on my knees, I say a prayer to the Founders, wishing for everyone’s safety and a swift return. Smiling to myself, I reach under my bed to grab the dagger I had been hiding. Unwrapping it from its cloth I hold it close to my chest and close my eyes.

“Archduke said you all would be home in a matter of days… I hope you are doing fine, Joshua, my dearest friend. I pray that you fulfill your duty so that all will see you how I do.” Squeezing the dagger to my chest, I say one more prayer before rewrapping the blade. However, tonight, instead of returning it to its hiding place, I lay the blade beside my pillow wrapped in cloth.

I slowly crawl into bed and lay down, turning to look at the blade. A sleepy grin tugs at my lips.

Once Joshua returns, I will return it to its hiding place.

–

"Ka… denza… Ka…denza…KADENZA! Wake up!" I rouse with a start to Jill's panicked voice and hands gripping my shoulders wildly.

Still dazed, I still can’t grasp what is happening, "Jill! What's-"

"There's no time! Follow me- Quickly!" With that she’s dragging me out of my bed and making haste to the door.

“Wait! My dagger!” I cry, pulling away from her grasp and running to grab the cloth covered dagger.

I sigh in relief once the object is in my hand but am immediately snatched by my wrist as Jill tugs me out of my room into the halls of the castle where the horrific scene of blood and flames are everywhere. I can hear the distant screams of the servants and bearers being slaughtered and the clank of metal boots growing closer.

"Stay quiet and follow me- we can't stay here." She rasps as we begin our descent into the halls of the Duchy.

Jill carefully tugs me along as we duck down halls and stay hidden within the shadows of statues and pillars. I want to speak but my voice is lost as we traverse the halls while Jill frantically surveys room to room making sure we are not caught. Soon enough we find ourselves outside where she quickly pushes me to the wall and presses her hand over my mouth. I attempt to speak out but my muffled voice dies out as I hear the yells of soldiers running by shouting.

“Make sure to kill everyone! No one is to be left alive except the children! We'll take them as prisoners!”

Hearing that made my heart pound in my ears just like that time long ago when my village was destroyed and I was left orphaned. I could hear my heart in my ears and my chest felt tight. It’s happening again. I’m losing everything… again. Jill can see the anxiety in my eyes and looks in my eyes as to soothe me, as we wait for the soldiers to disperse. I wonder if she felt as terrified as me.

Hearing the last of the soldiers clearing out she roughly continues tugging me behind her until she reaches the chocobo stables nearly tripping over herself in a panicked state.

What was going on? Why were the imperials attacking?

"Jill- What are we going to do?" I cried, pulling my hand away. I could feel my chest heaving in exhaustion. I hardly have a moment to spare before I'm being pulled along again, "Jill!"

"You need to hide! But where?" She's practically in a manic state and ignoring my calls of her name. She stumbles upon a crate in which seeds for the chocobo are stored.

"Quickly! In here!" Forcing me inside the chest she pushes me down attempting to lower the lid.

Desperately, I push against the lid as I lurch forward to hug her, "Jill stop! Please!"

Hugging me tightly she swiftly pulls away, tears beginning to spill down her flushed cheeks,"No you must hide!"

"But Jill! What of you??" I cry attempting to cling unto her as she pushes me away and down into the chest. My hands are scrambling for her as the tears freely pour from my eyes, a hiccuped sob coming from me. My chest heaved in pain as all my attempts were thwarted as she grabbed my shoulders firmly.

"Kadenza stop! You must stay put… and when all is silent, run far and run fast!"

Looking down, the tears in my eyes sting as they flow freely, "I can't… not by myself… not without you." Pulling me into a tight embrace Jill gently soothes a hand over my back before pulling away and pushing me to lie down in the chest.

"You must- please… do not make a sound and stay hidden until all is over."

Heartbroken, I lie there silently sobbing as she places a kiss on my forehead before gently shutting the crate. Clutching the clothed dagger to my chest, I curl up in a ball. All that I could hear from that moment on were the sounds of her boots against the ground and the shutting of the stable before she left.

And after that screams.

8 years later

Here it was. Only a few more days until my 18th birthday… and the day after… the anniversary of my friends passing. Eight years passed by but my heart was still as heavy as the day I lost everyone and everything I had come to love. All stolen from me in one fell swoop. That night lived in my dreams, etched into my heart. I could never forget.

Late into that night when all fell silent, I heeded Jill’s advice. I ran far… and I ran fast. As fast as my legs could carry me. Barefoot with only a dirty nightgown clinging to me. All I had left to my name was a single dagger and nothing more. As I ran, I promised myself that eventually I would find my way back home and that I would give my friends the proper send off they deserved.

But that was easier said than done. Instead after all this time, I had found myself here in Northreach with The Dame as my charge and I her ward.

I happened across her on the year of my thirteenth birthday and from there she had taken care of me as one of her own after nearly having my hand cut off for pickpocketing. She came to my aid in that moment, quelling the anger of the imperial soldiers with her charm. I was indebted to her but she didn’t seem to care as she reprimanded me for my brash behavior. She took me in and was the closest thing to a family that I had had in a long while and I was thankful.

However, with my eighteenth birthday rapidly approaching I was ready to go out on my own. To finally make my way to Rosalith... yet only a few things stood in my way.

“But Isabelle! I will be of age soon, I can be a Courtesan!” I plead with her as I follow her through the courtyard of The Veil. I had been pestering her for months now after I overheard how much the Courtesans made from patrons. If I were to ever leave, I needed a way to quickly earn gil so that I could eventually leave.

She turns to me with scorn, irritated at my insistence. “You will not! As long as you are my charge, I will not allow it. Continue working with the apothecary. You do not belong at The Veil, understood?”

“But… how will I earn enough money to leave? I barely have enough from the clinic to even scrape up enough for bread. If I become a courtesan, I’ll have more than enough to leave-”

She holds up her hand cutting me off, growing even more frustrated with me, “Do you think once you become a courtesan you will be able to come and go as you please? Don’t be so childish.”

“But-”

“You said you wanted to travel… well become a competent apothecary and you will be able to go as you please. But as a courtesan you will remain here in Sanbreque.”

Clenching my jaw, I can’t help but fume in anger. Who would need an apothecary when there were healers to do the job. I would virtually be useless. “I will never be able to leave with such little pay, Isabelle! Please-”

“Enza, enough. I will hear no more of it.” She crosses her arms across her chest ending the argument.

I clench my fist in frustration before storming away. I hated this all. Everything. How was I supposed to return to Rosalith now? How was I to return home? Although I knew there would be nothing waiting for me there, I still yearned to one day visit where I was the happiest and pay my respects to my fallen friends and family. But how would I be able to travel without the means to even pay for a single night at an Inn let alone food?

I was fucked. There were no other options. Were I to be stuck here in Sanbreque until my last breath?

-

“Enza! There you are!” I hear someone call from the doorway of my room within The Veil.

Turning around I see one of Isabelle’s courtesans coming to me excitedly, “What brings you here, Marclene?”

“Aye! The Dame says that you are to be a courtesan, I’m here to bathe you! You have an eager patron awaiting you in one of the private rooms.”

“Are… Are you serious? She actually agreed??” I gasp in shock. After all the pestering to Isabelle over the past few months she finally agrees.

“Of course girl! Now come, you're filthy! We can’t disappoint your first patron.” Marclene says matter of factly, striding across the room she grips my wrist and pulls me from my place on my bed andguides me out of my room down the hall.

“By Greager, this is actually happening!” I gasp out stumbling over my feet slightly as I try to keep pace with Marclene.

“Of course! All that fuss has paid off! Now hurry! We mustn’t keep your handsome patron waiting.” Marclene giggles as pulls me along to the baths.

-

Sitting in the tub, Marclene scrubs at my skin with a cloth while idly chatting away.

“Your first time will be slightly uncomfortable but after that it will be a breeze. As easy as taking a breath! Men are too easy,” She laughs out as she pours water over my shoulder. The wispy bits of curls that touch my shoulders dampen and curl even further in on itself. I am paying half attention to her banter wondering how many patrons I will need to acquire. Would it be many or few? I just needed enough to eventually steal away in the late hours of the night.

A cascade of water pours over my head spurring me out of my thoughts as I turn to Marclene bewildered. She chuckles while pushing my wet curly bangs from my face, “You're quite beautiful and young. Men will pay a fortune to be in your company. I wonder how your first patron saw you and how much he is paying for your chastity? You are quite the lucky girl.”

I scrunch my face in disgust, much to her amusement as she continues on bathing me. I could care less for the actual act of physical intimacy, all that mattered was the money to follow. It’s a shame that the cost of my freedom will be paid with my body but in this village I have no other option.

At least for one of my birthdays I would like to go home and if this is what it takes then I will endure.

Closing my eyes I continue to listen to Marclene, only answering with hums of acknowledgement and the occasional nod. I needed to do my best not to overthink. It would be easier that way.

-

My bodice is tight and my short curly hair seems even more curly and short as it has curled even tighter with the application of water. What was once on my shoulders was curled up to a little under my jaw. The top I wore was only long enough to give the illusion of modesty and my skirt barely above my ankles. I felt my heart pounding in my chest as I stood at the door of one of the private rooms, my patron just on the other side waiting for me. Maybe I should have listened to Marclene a little more.

I reach for the door when I hear a gruff voice ring through the other side, “How much longer shall I wait, my lady?”

I flinch at his voice but slowly swallow the thick lump in my throat before turning the knob and entering the dimly lit room. I close the door behind me while facing the man who sat atop the bed. His legs were crossed as an arm was rested on the propped up leg.

To say I was nervous was an understatement. I was downright petrified. I thought I would have steeled my nerves but now that the moment is here, I begin to panic… I would actually hand over my chastity for gil? How are the courtesans so easily able to do this? I applaud them… for in this moment I wished to be brewing tonics and elixirs than here with an unknown man.

“My lady, please come closer. How am I to take pleasure in your company if you are so far away. Come sit.”

I nod shyly and make my way towards the bed. My eyes are glued to my feet and my shoulders are square. This is it. I sit down on the bed, my heart pounding so hard against my rib cage that I fear my chest might explode.

“You can relax my lady. I won’t do you any harm. I’m more interested in cutting a deal with you- That is if you’re interested?”

Hesitating, I take my gaze from my feet to the eyes of my patron. He’s watching me, a gentle look in his eyes and an awareness in his smile. I can feel myself slightly loosen up. This man wasn’t so intimidating and he was at least handsome.

“By the look in your eyes, you seem interested.” The man chuckles.

Still unable to find my voice, I nod.

“Well, I’m in need of a healer of sorts. Or more specifically someone who specializes in tonics and salves. Elixirs as well. I hear you are proficient?”

I nod a bit bewildered at the random question, “I am my lord but… why are you asking me? I thought you were here to seek out a Courtesan?”

Standing from the bed, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a cigar along with a magic crystal. He lights it and takes a deep inhale before crooking his head to the side to exhale the smoke. Turning back to me, he examines me. “I came seeking a Courtesan who is a practicing apothecary for I am in need of her services.”

Speaking to this man was becoming a little too much, as I was perplexed as to why he needed a courtesan who practiced medicine when he could just pay for a healer.

“My lady, I see the skepticism in your eyes but I need an apothecary that can travel with me. I am a man needed in many places and can’t afford to pay every healer I come in contact with, especially if it’s no more than a mere flesh wound.”

“You confuse me… Are you asking me to join you in your travels?’

Taking another deep inhale of the cigar he nods, “Aye. Accompany me and in return, I’ll take you wherever you want to go.”

My eyes widened with surprise and excitement. This man could take me wherever I wanted to go and all that he required were my medicinal skills? This was almost too good to be true.

“My lord, your offer is ever so generous but… what do you get out of it?”

The man snickers, the corner of his mouth raising in a half smirk, “I gain a highly talented ally.”

“And that’s all you need?”

“Yes. As beautiful as you are my lady, you are a bit too young and inexperienced for my tastes.”

In that moment I felt my worries melt away and my shoulders finally relaxed. I can join this man and he could take me to my home. Either I was dreaming or The Founders had to be smiling in my favor because for once, I received the greatest chance I thought I’d never have. Standing to my feet, I rush to the man and grab his hand. “You have a deal! I’ll go wherever you need me to go! You have my word, my lord!”

“Glad to know you’re on board. I had thought it might take more to win you over.” He jokes as he pulls his hand out of mine, “Anyways, get dressed and meet me outside. I have urgent matters to attend to and have taken long enough here.”

“Oh yes right!” I spring into action rushing to the door before a sudden realization hits me, “Wait! Shit… I need to tell Isabelle! I can’t just leave and not-”

The man waves his hand as to shush me, “No need. Isabelle said that if you agreed we could leave at once. Now hurry. I haven’t got all day.”

I feel the bounding excitement building in my chest as I swing open the door. But again before I make haste to my room I turn to the man, “My lord, what is your name?”

That man smiles as he walks toward me and ruffles my hair, “Cidolfus but you can call me Cid. You?”

I nod my head with a grateful smile on my lips, “Cid… You can call me Enza.”

Heaving an exasperated sigh he shoos, “Hurry girl! Time’s wasting with all these formalities.”

I laugh as I run off to my room. Finally the tides were ever in my favor.

joshua who, in the japanese audio, normally uses "boku" but used "watashi" when speaking gently to the medicine girl... one of the twins in the hideaway calling him gentle in the japanese ver... he has to be good with kids for sure

Somethings Never Change, Feelings Never Fade 2/?

Word count: 1.9K

TW: mentions death, smoking

Part 2: All things come in due time

The Hideaway

It’s been five years since that fateful day that I joined Cid. I was quite surprised when I had realized that Isabelle had been planning for me to join Cid all along. He had known about me for quite some time and was only waiting on my coming of age to take me under his wing. From there he trained me daily in combat but much to my dismay it seemed my talent lay more in medicine. I knew just enough combat to be a competent fighter but he thought it best I become an apprentice to his healer, Tarja. However, in certain instances he would allow me to scout alongside his right hand Gav, an incredible man with a knack for literally sniffing out leads but most of my days were spent with Tarja. Not to mention, being around Cid and Gav had me develop some unsavory habits which earned a daily admonishment from Tarja.

“Must you smoke in here?” Tarja chides sardonically.

“Apologies but if I’m not allowed at least one teensy pint of ale to soothe my frustrations then surely a quick smoke can suffice.” I grumble, pulling the cigar from my lips and putting it out immediately in an ashtray.

Groaning in slight agitation, she grabs the bridge of her nose to gently massage it. “Believe you me, I would love a drink but who knows what will be waiting for us when Cid returns.”

I sigh at her words, still fatigued from working overnight due to the crowd of bearers Cid had brought in the night prior. Tarja and I hadn’t slept a wink and the nerves were starting to get to me. I felt myself becoming more disgruntled with the lack of sleep. Sitting down on one of the beds, I place my elbows on my knees and hang my head.

“Ugh Tarja… Can I at least take a quick nap? If I can’t have a drink or smoke please let me rest for five minutes.” I whine as I look up to her with pleading eyes and a slight pout.

Caving in, she came to stand in front of me patting my head, “Fine, fine. I’ll wake you in five minutes. No more, no less.”

“Ah heavens above! You’re so good to me,” I beam as I hug her around the waist. She chuckles at my childness then pulls away as she pushes her hand against my forehead.

“Lay down before I change my mind.” She huffs as I swing my legs on to the bed and fall back onto the pillow with my hands behind my head. “I will wake you in five minutes.”

I nod my head lazily allowing the fatigue to set in and relax my body.

- Feeling a gentle nudge at my shoulder, I groan and roll to my side. The sleep was too good, I couldn’t get up. Not yet at least.

“Come on, get up. You know that was more than five minutes, Enza.”

“Yeah, so…?” I mutter trying my best to continue resting.

“Come on Enza. Cid should be returning shortly. I need you to start brewing some more tonics. Who knows, he may bring back more bearers again.” She’s nudging me more and more until I finally give in and open my eyes. As usual, she’s looking at me with a slight scowl and her arms crossed. Stretching my arms and legs out, I take my time sitting up and let out a boisterous yawn.

Swinging my legs off the bed, taking my time attempting to collect my hazy thoughts. I yawn again and stretch my arms up feeling the joints pop, “Founders… I really needed that.” Finally standing up, I do my best to shake the drowsiness but with the many all nighters we had been pulling recently I knew this feeling was going to linger for a while.

Releasing a deep sigh I began my search around the infirmary for my mortar and pestle, trying to remember where I had put them. I was running low on herbs and hopefully with the return of Cid and Goetz they would have some supplies ready for use. That last group of injured bearers nearly depleted all of the inventory in the infirmary.

“Tarja, you know we’re nearly out of herbs… Also, I found my mortar but I can’t seem to find my pestle… Hmm where did I put it?” I groan, digging through drawer after drawer, “I know it’s somewhere…”

Tarja chuckles before coming to me and placing a hand on my shoulder, “It’s where you leave everything.”

I smile sheepishly as I scratch my head “In my chamber?”

“Exactly. Come, we can check with Charon to see if she has any supplies that we can use for now and also stop by your chambers.” Nodding in agreement, I follow Tarja out of the infirmary down the dimly lit halls of the Hideaway.

Who knew that the next place I would call home would be a dingy ruin.

As we traverse the halls it slowly becomes brighter as we near the main hall of the Hideaway. Finally making it to the stairs, Tarja notices three men standing around, idly chatting. Cid, Goetz, and some random soldier.

“You’re back.” Tarja drawls as she slowly descends the steps with me in tow.

“Ah, Tarja… Enza.” Cid replies looking to us with a smile.

Before I can greet him Tarja is speaking, “And this is the Dominant?”

Cid nods gesturing to the passed out woman on Goetz’s back, “Out cold since we found her. I was hoping you might give her a look over.”

Not sparing a moment Tarja signals for Goetz to follow her, “Alright. Goetz, get her upstairs.”

Seeming a little flustered Goetz looks over to where Charon is currently preoccupied with the hound that had been following Cid around.

“B-But Nan wil–”

Cutting him off she rushes to Goetz pulling him along, “Don’t fret about Charon. I’ve taken care of her fee.”

“All of it?” Goetz questions, still reluctant to follow Tarja.

“Aye,” Tarja nods as she looks to me, “Enza, tend to Cid. Make sure he hasn’t done anything stupid to hurt himself.” And like that she’s ascending the stairs in a rushwith Goetz in tow.

“Of course.” I mumble turning back to Cid as he speaks to the soldier.

“You’ve nothing to worry about.” He reassures the soldier.

“He might not but I do, you old bastard. You know your curse is nearly at its limit! And I’ve half a mind to leave you be… but Tarja says otherwise.”

Cid chuckles coming to me with open arms showing that he was fully intact with no scars or wounds, “Me? I’m fine. A little lightning every now and then won’t kill me.”

I scoff slapping his chest, “Fucking hell every now and then is becoming too frequent. Let me have a look at you.”

Cid chuckles, raising his hands in mock defense, “A bit too early to be this pissy, eh?”

Huffing I lunge for him right as he grabs my shoulders now laughing loudly and trying to calm my already frayed nerves, “Relax lass! I promise I’m fine. How about you tend to our guest, maybe show him around the Hideaway,” Cid winks before backing away to show the man who stood awkwardly watching us.

I roll my eyes before focusing on the man behind him, the scowl instantly dropping from my face. My heart was racing and my ears full with the thrum of my heartbeat and my thoughts swimming.

“No… It can’t be… you’re dead.”

The man steps forward as if he’s also seen a ghost. It’s as if time stopped. Was this real..?

“Kadenza…”

“Clive… Is it really you? You’re… you-” I can’t find the words, a choked sob leaves my lips as I drop to my knees. He rushes to me and kneels, pulling me into a tight embrace.

“Kadenza… you’re alive… you made it out.” He whispers as he pulls back to examine my tear stained face. “I thought everyone was gone but you’re here. You’re safe.”

My shoulders heaved as sobs left my lips, “I can’t believe it’s you,” I threw my arms around his shoulders as he held me tightly, “Founders- I’ve missed you so much.” Pulling away I gaze into his eyes before pressing my forehead to his.

-

An unexpected reunion but quite welcomed. Shortly after my reunion with Clive I learned that the Dominant of Shiva was Jill. Both of them safe and here within my reach. For nearly thirteen years I had thought they were gone but they were here. They were alive and we all could finally have a proper reunion once Jill awakens... But even in that joyous moment their presence still couldn't fill the void that Joshua left. No matter how grateful I was for them to be alive and well, I couldn’t help but miss my childhood companion. The world somehow always felt emptier without his presence. I missed him.

Sitting outside, I watch as shadows cast on the entrance of the Hideaway. The cloudy sky is a nice blanket to cover the harshness of the sun while a gentle breeze makes its way through the valley.

“So you say it was another Eikon of fire that killed Joshua?”

Clive shifts beside me as he glances down at the palms of his hands, “Yes. That night at Phoenix Gate... Joshua primed and not too long after the second Eikon of flames appeared…” His open hands slowly clenched into fists as his face contorts in pain, “All I could do was watch …”

Reaching my hands out I place them over his own, hoping to soothe him even if just by a little, “It was not your fault, Clive.”

He doesn’t look at me, only shaking his head in disagreement. “I was his shield and I couldn’t protect him. He asked me to stay with him but I left his side thinking I was doing my duty… and he died… alone… begging for me. I can still hear his voice.”

“Oh Clive,” I embrace him and hold him close as his shoulders begin to tremble. “You only did what you could. Joshua wouldn’t want you to blame yourself and you know that.”

“I don’t know…” he mutters from where his head rests on my shoulder.

Drawing back from the hug, I hold him at a distance. The sorrowful expression he wore pierced my heart. I would never be able to understand how deeply that moment affected him but I knew I could share in his pain, for I missed the one I cherished most.

“Joshua was my dearest friend, Clive. I know with your strength you can avenge him. You’ll take down the fiend that took him from us… And when you’re done… You, me, and Jill can visit Rosalith to finally put his spirit to rest.”

Through wet lashes, Clive peers at me with a slight upward tilt to his lips. Not much of a smile but far better than the sullen look from before.

“I will find him. I promise.”

Rising from my spot, I stretch my hands into the air and release the breath that had been bottled up in my chest. I feel lighter.

“Give em hell when you do. Promise me that.”

I hear a deep chuckle from where Clive sits before he speaks, “Of course.”

update on joshua x reader fics: current wip is at 3.6k words and it's about halfway done...

progress with it has been erratic but i MIGHT be able to get it out in a week!!