This Is A Severus Snape Free Zone

remember the brief trend earlier this year of celebrities posting their co-stars middle school pics and captioning them "it makes me so mad I can't hang out with this kid"??? Richie and Bill, within seconds of each other and without mentioning their plan to each other first, both post pics of them like hugging as kids captioned "it makes me so mad that I HAD to hang out with this kid" lmao

omg ok but this would be so hilarious if they roasted each other while no one knew that they were childhood friends. like obvs before derry they didnt even know each other so the fans would have no reason to associate them in any way but then after derry. richie and bill dont make a post like ‘hey we’ve actually known each other for a long time’ or anything like instead richie just tweets a pic of bill as a child one day with some caption like “anyone else think he looks how cold fries taste?” which just causes Mass confusion bc hUH??? like richie didnt tweet anything abt bills writing so it doesnt seem like he just read one of bills books and was upset by it. but ppl still dont have any reason to think richie and bill know each other. so in the end ppl just think that comedian richie tozier woke up one morning and was like. you know what? Fuck that horror novel guy

Do you have any tips to stop cringing at/hating your own writing? Thanks!

yeah actually: write cringe shit on purpose

do you know what so fucking cringe? superheroes. most people irl associate them with five year old boys and gamer bros who like excluding people based on whether they know how many Robins there are. you MIGHT get lucky and have them associate you with shippers and fandom folks. when my brand new housemate said to me ‘oh so I hear you like superheroes?’ I felt my soul fucking evacuate my body.

anyway so I took my favourite cringe genre and made it more cringe. I stripped out most of the action and made it about melodrama. about romance. about three line prompts centred on feelings. and I filled a whole blog with it. thousands of prompts, tens of thousands of words of nothing but the most cringe-inducing, self-indulgent, emotional twaddle. I write it fast, on the fly--for most of this blog’s lifespan I was producing two prompts a day, and there was no time to edit out the yikes or the badly placed commas or the overwrought betrayal. I’ve written cancel-worthy smut prompts and twee little tooth-aching cuteness. I’ve written so much junk that no one in their right mind would show another living soul, and published it in front of more than EIGHT THOUSAND PEOPLE. 

it’s an inoculation process (get your flu shot, kids). if you write cringe shit on purpose, you mind a lot less when you write cringe shit by accident. in fact, sometimes you start to enjoy the cringe even in your serious work, because you start to recognise a fundamental truth: everything is cringe. purple prose is cringe. romances are cringe. redemption arcs are cringe. em dashes are cringe. superheroes are cringe. 

you will always be writing something cringe. always. even when you’re a bestselling author, you’ll write something and think ‘oh god that’s so fucking cringe’. the difference between you now and you in that future is that you in the future has written so much more cringe shit. you will be (semi) cringe immune. you have survived the cringe before and you will survive the cringe again. 

so keep writing. keep cringing too, but most importantly: just keep writing. it’s the only surefire cure. 

hope this helps!

I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?

HI darling,

I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:

Home

what the hell is a mortgage?

first apartment essentials checklist

how to care for cacti and succulents

the care and keeping of plants

Getting an apartment

Money

earn rewards by taking polls

how to coupon

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

how to save money

How to Balance a Check Book

How to do Your Own Taxes

Health

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

things to bring to a doctor’s appointment

how to get free therapy

what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment

how to make a doctor’s appointment

how to pick a health insurance plan

how to avoid a hangover

a list of stress relievers

how to remove a splinter

Emergency

what to do if you get pulled over by a cop

a list of hotlines in a crisis

things to keep in your car in case of an emergency

how to do the heimlich maneuver

Job

time management

create a resume

find the right career

how to pick a major

how to avoid a hangover

how to interview for a job

how to stop procrastinating

How to write cover letters

Travel

ULTIMATE PACKING LIST

Traveling for Cheap

Travel Accessories

The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase

How To Read A Map

How to Apply For A Passport

How to Make A Travel Budget

Better You

read the news

leave your childhood traumas behind

how to quit smoking

how to knit

how to stop biting your nails

how to stop procrastinating

how to stop skipping breakfast

how to stop micromanaging

how to stop avoiding asking for help

how to stop swearing constantly

how to stop being a pushover

learn another language

how to improve your self-esteem

how to sew

learn how to embroider

how to love yourself

100 tips for life

Apartments/Houses/Moving

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)

How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)

Education

How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)

How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)

Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)

How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)

Finances

How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)

How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)

Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)

What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)

Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)

Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting

How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)

How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)

How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)

10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)

Life Skills

Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)

Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)

Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)

How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)

How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)

How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)

Miscellaneous

What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)

Relationships

Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)

How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple  and catastrofries)

Travel & Vehicles

How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)

How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)

Other Blog Features

Apps for Asshats

Harsh Truths & Bitter Reminders

Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later

Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)

Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)

Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)

Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)

Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)

Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)

Adult Cheat Sheet:

what to do if your pet gets lost

removing stains from your carpet

how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps

throwing a dinner party

i’m pregnant, now what?

first aid tools to keep in your house

how to keep a clean kitchen

learning how to become independent from your parents

job interview tips

opening your first bank account

what to do if you lose your wallet

tips for cheap furniture

easy ways to cut your spending

selecting the right tires for your car

taking out your first loan

picking out the right credit card

how to get out of parking tickets

how to fix a leaky faucet

get all of your news in one place

getting rid of mice & rats in your house

when to go to the e.r.

buying your first home

how to buy your first stocks

guide to brewing coffee

first apartment essentials checklist

coping with a job you hate

30 books to read before you’re 30

what’s the deal with retirement?

difference between insurances

Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:

Reasons to move out of home

You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:

wishing to live independently

location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university

conflict with your parents

being asked to leave by your parents.

Issues to consider when moving out of home

It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:

Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.

Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.

Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.

Your parents may be worried

Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:

They may worry that you are not ready.

They may be sad because they will miss you.

They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.

They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.

Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.

Tips for a successful move

Tips include:

Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?

Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.

Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.

Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.

Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.

If your family home does not provide support

Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.

If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.

If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.

Where to get help

Your doctor

Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800

Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44

Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325

Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277

Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50

Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577

Things to remember

Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.

Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations. 

(source)

Keep me updated? xx

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I was rewatching Nailed It on Netflix, which is a baking competition show except instead of competent bakers it’s just normal people trying to make highly detailed and complicated cakes with not enough time and it’s hilarious

And now I’m just thinking of Stephen and Tony as a couple team

Stephen is trying to take control, but he doesn’t actually know what he’s doing and his hands don’t allow him to do detail work well, so he’s just yelling at Tony trying to get him to do it right, but Tony is even more incompetent

Stephen- “WE’VE WATCHED THIS ENTIRE SHOW TWICE, HOW ARE WE MESSING SO MUCH UP?!”

The other teams are Thor & Bruce and Bucky & Sam

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Minerva Mcgongall pulled out her notebook and turned to the page that listed the names and details of that years Gryffindor Quidditch team. Her heart swelling with pride she jotted down the name “Harry Potter” next to the position “Seeker” before closing the book and opening a second drawer. She took out a small, wooden box and rummaged in it for a few seconds before withdrawing a worn out envelope, inside of which was a short letter and a photograph.

“Dearest Minnie,

Hope you’re doing well! I’m the same of course, driving Lily up the wall as usual, she sends you her love by the way!

Now I know I told you that you’ll never find a chaser as good as me ever again, but it just goes to show that even the brilliant are sometimes mistaken. I’ve found you (made you!) a replacement who will one day outshine his old man by leagues! Enclosed is a photograph of your new Quidditch prodigy so that you may assess his skills for yourself. We have him chasing the cat for practice. He’ll be unbeatable by the time he starts at Hogwarts! The youngest Quidditch player in a century!

I guarantee it, Minnie. And you know I’m never wrong, though you’ll never admit it!

Missing you and Hogwarts terribly,

Lots of love,

James

P.S. Sirius says his marriage proposal still stands.”

Wiping away a single tear that ran down her cheek and chuckling to herself, she smiled down at the photograph of a small, gleeful, black haired boy zooming along on a toy broom, a pair of legs chasing after him and a young woman laughing hysterically in a corner.

“Right again, Mr. Potter.”

family hug!

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growing up is so weird because when I was in high school, it felt like the whole world. and I know that sounds dramatic but teenagers are dramatic and I made myself sick stressing over so many dumb things, like my senior quote and how I looked in school pictures, who liked and disliked me, and whatever the latest drama was.

and now I look at that building and it seems so small, and I realize it’s because—yeah—it was always small. everything that felt so big and overwhelming shrank in size the moment I stepped back from that place, and I wish it was something I’d been able to see while I was in high school so I wouldn’t have been so sad over things I’ve already forgotten.

anyway, I guess for any of my younger followers on here, just remember that sometimes you can’t help but get caught up in rush of high school, and because you spend so much of your time there, it becomes your whole world, but don’t forget that there’s a huge world outside of it and one day you’re gonna get to explore it and it’s gonna be huge and terrifying, but you’ll look back and see that so many things you stressed over in high school just weren’t worth it.

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How many brain cells the Hargreaves Siblings have

- Diego and Luther share one brain cell (ie: Ölga for Ölga)

- Ben has two brain cells (he is a philosopher and a scholar)

- Ben tries to share one with Klaus, but its often rejected so Klaus has none

- This typically ends with Ben having one and a half brain cells and Klaus having half of one, but then sometimes Klaus has brief moments of genius so Klaus gets two brain cells in those moments (this doesn’t happen a lot)

- Vanya has one brain cell (it’s been through a lot)

- Allison has one brain cell (this brain cell is a mother)

- Sometimes they share

- Five has the other 95 brain cells

- Grace is a perfect being she has 100 brain cells

- Reginald infortunately has a lot of brain cells but he uses them for evil

- Pogo has like 85 (he’s smart but he supports Reginald so that knocks him down a lot)

I don’t know if any of this makes sense but it does to me

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Five: Dont mess with the timeline!

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After reading that Ron defense post and how much you love him, I'm really curious as to why you like him so much! Have a good day xxxx

Of course! Okay, this is a mess, but off the top of my head:

Ron’s character comprises a lot of classic tropes that I particularly like—the big, stifling family; the humble beginnings; deep love under cover of laughter; the knight of heart who overcomes his fears. From the beginning, he’s colourful: an optimistic, humorous, buoyant kid, all red and gold and blue, flaring up in anger, in laughter, diffusing tensions with wide-eyed simplicity. To me, there’s something so charming in this self-proclaimed underdog, second always to his friends, and yet never hateful; so humble that he is oblivious to the fact that he is a key cog in his world dynamics.

Ron is never put under an admiring light, because Harry tends to rely on him with the spontaneity of a brother, and Hermione doesn’t share her insights with Harry. Because of Harry’s tranquil trust and because of his depiction in the movies, Ron has slowly become, in popular opinion, a simplistic oaf, a prop for crude comedic devices. To me, however, he is the easiest to identify with now—born in the worlds he inhabits, and yet overlooked by those who, he believes, shine brighter—at the Burrow, his twin brothers and his sisters, who bulldoze their way through life when he tends to take his lazy-ass time—in the magic world, Hermione and Harry, both raised by muggles and yet welcomed with open arms by strangers because of their skills. Ron’s skills are rarely put in the spotlight, and you know why? Because despite his tendency to frustration and anger, which are usually targeted towards himself anyway, he is usually quite unassuming, so convinced is he of his lack of self-worth.

Harry is humble, yes, and selfless, but he has a strong sense of his abilities, of his talent, and the luck that life, despite the hardships, has bestowed upon him. Hermione, potentially because of her blood status and lack of beauty in the early years of school, stuffs her cleverness in everybody’s face and has made it her definite trait. They can take pride in something. Ron, from beginning to end, is completely blind to his own abilities, damaging his sense of self in the process. As the series progresses, Ron falls more and more in the shadow of his friends, trying through temporary jolts to rise to the light (his trying out for the Quidditch team, Lavender,…), and falling back when this fails (keeper is still lesser than captain, and the respect he was looking for was Hermione’s, not Lavender’s). The point is: he is still looking for himself, as we all do at 15. He is still looking for a purpose, for a silver lining, when his close friends seem to have already found their purpose in life.

I think we don’t give Ron enough credit, again because Harry’s narration is biased. It’s been said that Ron is jealous, and angry, and susceptible, but time and time again Ron diffuses the tension between buttheads Hermione and Harry, and when he leaves—escaping the shadows I mentioned earlier, deciding to live for himself for a while—, Harry and Hermione’s relationship falls into silence and disinterest, because the link of warmth between them is ultimately Ron. I think he is very socially clever, despite being oblivious at times—he compliments Hermione when she most needs it, mingles his anger with Harry to lighten the burden, and is shown to worry and discuss Harry’s problems with Hermione behind the scenes, although we don’t have access to what is actually shared. He is also attuned to the atmosphere enough to crack a joke at exactly the right moment, unassumingly. I think this feelings-focused approach is also his biggest weakness: impulsive, he usually falls into self-hate and anxiety after his outbursts; attuned to his surroundings in a global rather than detailed way, he feels that he is overlooked, knows that he is under-valued, but does not know how to prove or to address it. Jealous, no—but envious of a life where he would feel more loved, more comfortable with himself, where he would get more admiration, absolutely. The issue comes from there, of course: his being poor, his being clumsy, his being always considered the Potter sidekick, second place, last place, these all erode his sense of self throughout the books. There’s a lack of self-respect in Ron: he always makes himself the butt of the joke, he becomes upset when people point out the flaws he knows and hates. But his need to be validated through others is both deeply immature and deeply relatable: it is a forced step before reaching the understanding that only you can know and respect yourself entirely.

To me, Ron (along with Neville) is the bravest of them all, and really deserves his place in Gryffindor. Contrarily to Hermione (who buckles under pressure often, because she is ultimately in need of control) and Harry, who is defined by his selflessness and is ready for self-sacrifice, Ron is always scared as fuck and yet always fights. He has the most to lose, being from such a big family. Yet he faces his arachnophobia at 12 in order to explore his best friend’s hunch about the spiders. At 11, he had chosen to potentially die in order to allow Harry safe-passing to the Mirror cave. He was born in the magical world: giants, Voldemort, even Sirius Black are not rational enemies to him, but the stuff of nightmares, legends that tamed and terrified him when he was little. How could he approach them with a level-head when he has been raised to fear them? He cannot be as rational as those who discover the existence of human villains when they reach teenagehood. To him, these are monsters. Ron not only has to fight them, he has to unlearn what petrified a whole nation, to challenge his education, the deeply ingrained fears and lore that has been part of his personality-building.

I think that’s what I like best of all: because he is so flawed and realistic from the get-go, he is allowed to undergo the most amazing character development, and to grow up before our eyes. That kid who was dismissive of “know-it-alls” and “weirdos”, raised to be casually racist towards other magical races (goblins, elves and giants), deeply unsure of his own worth, tortured between envy and deep loyalty/love, hateful of his humble station, becomes by the end of book 7 a defender of the school underdogs—standing up for Luna, Hermione and Neville several times throughout the books—; actively attuned to social justice (admiring of Grawp’s efforts, striking friendships with elves and insisting to leave them a choice to fight or to flee); too impulsive and hurt and worried not to leave the hallows quest, but humble and brave enough to come back immediately; showing time and time again pride in his family, and finally finding pride in himself through the last of Harry’s missions. Harry gives him the sword so that he can destroy an Horcrux. By the end of the book, Ron is whole enough, stable enough that he can finally equate his friend and give Hermione the fang so that she can destroy the cup as well.

Ron never sheds his anxiety, his self-consciousness, never loses this impulse of hiding behind humour; his growth is, realistically, not an ideal one. Yet his development is so compelling, and so full of lessons in life and new-found self-awareness. So yeah. That’s why I like him very much!