Do It For The Meme. Http://blinkingguy.com

Abled Person: Hey man, can you hold this wad of $2,000 and this one penny for me while I open my wallet?

Disabled Person: YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER FOOL!

The United States Government:

(Watch how many people don’t get this.)

Toni Carson - Writer on Reedsy Prompts

https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/toni-carson/page/

Hey 👋🏾

I wanted to share some of my writing.

Okay, firstly, I love this song and recommend it to everyone! Secondly, there have been a lot of"official" music videos for this song (The Jikook one w/ Jimin dancing gives me life💜); but those are fanmade. So, I thought of a Dramatic Music Video idea. Picture this: The girl they're singing about is cheating on all three of them. Lauv sings his part while walking through the rain to her apartment with a flower bouquet; Jungkook sings part while outside her apartment in his car with a box of chocolates; Jimin sings his part while on a city bus ( he could be dancing or staring out the window) and has a gift wrap necklace in his pocket. Lauv, Jk, and Jm enter the complex around the same time. The music cuts out as they get on the elevator. They exchange glances, then get off at same floor. The music cuts back in as they all stop at her door. She opens it, shocked to see all three of them standing there with gifts and betrayed faces.

Happy Birthday, Classy, Snazzy Teacher Man!

My history teacher was taking role today and did very exaggerated formal titles for everyone (ex. Ms. *last name*, Mr. *last name*) bc he’s classy like that but my non-binary arse was like “ohno uhoh” and he finally gets to me and goes Ms. *insert my last name*? And I go “here.” And he looks at me, furrows his brows and goes “is that ur preferred pronoun?” I’m like “..nah.” And he goes “okay, what is it?” And I say “um, they/ them.” And he says “alright, so what formal title would you like me to use?” Me: “uh… I dunno.” Him: “would you rather I don’t use one?” Me: …yea. THEN: this COMPLETELY ACCEPTING STRAIGHT CIS AND GREAT 40 yr old dude goes “hm…. OH! What about colonel?” And he gets all excited and I’m like “…I actually love that.” And he goes “perfect. colonel *insert my last name*?” And I’m like “here!” And he mumbles under his breath “that’s a dope ass formal abbreviation.” & since this is the teacher the class doesn’t say a darned thing other than correct themselves w my pronouns. Then goes along w the rest of the role call like he didn’t just bless my entire life. Then for the rest of the class he referred to me as colonel.

Reblog if you want your followers to anonymously ask you one thing they want to know about you.

Yep 👍🏾

John Mulaney is a mood💜

Also, here's an I'm-sorry-that-your-job-sucks cookie🍪

Me: So now that’s schools out for the term I have to go back to working full time and because I have anxiety I’ll put up with anything. Like I’ll choose to work at some garbage white person food chain. You know I don’t want to name any actual restaurant chains so lets just make one up and so lets just call it Panera Bread.

Me: So I’ll go back to work at Panera Bread and I show up at the restaurant and say “Can I come back in to work safely again?”

Me: And they’re like “NO! CUSTOMERS ARE GONNA COME UP TO YOU AND YELL IN YOUR FACE! AND NOW THERES GONNA BE A STUPID LITTLE BELL RINGING ALL FUCKING DAY FROM THE CURBSIDE PICKUP!!! A N D YOU HAVE FOUR WEEKS OF CROSSTRAINING TO MAKE UP BECAUSE YOUR FRANCHISE CLOSED EXTRA LONG DURING QUARENTINE!!!”

Me: And I go “Okayyy Motherbread” and I go to start crosstraining. Then I finish crosstraining and I go: “Okay this is a lot of new stuff and I don’t fully understand the new safety measures”

Me: And they go: “yeah, we’re just gonna have you start working right away during rush hour with no help or anything. BECAUSE WE HATE YOU. AND WERE GONNA GIVE YOU THREE TIMES AS MUCH WORK AS NORMAL. Now take this curbside order and shut up!!! GO! FETCH!

Me: And I go: “Okayyyyy thank you Motherbread Sir” and I go out with the curbside order and get yelled at by a customer who threatens to call the fucking marines because we got her order wrong. (The order wasn’t wrong. The soup was UNDER THE BREAD BOWL YOU DUMB FUCKING SHIT)

Me: Then I come back inside and say: “Can I please have a little time to catch up on my work that’s building up?”

Me: And they go: “NOOOOOOOOO!”

Me: And I go: “Okayyyyyy! Thank you the superior grace emperess dictator Motherbread!”

Me: And they go: “You’re a dumb happy little employee aren’t you? You LOVE it here!!!”

Me: And I go: “noooo! Noooo!”

Me: And they go: “Say it!”

Me: And I go: “I’m a dumb happy little employee! And I LOVE it here!”

Me: And then I go over to finish learning the new helpful training protocols which is an oxymoron and I go: “Can I please learn how to properly sanitize equipment and take credit card orders over the phone?”

Me: And they go: “Nooooo! We’re gonna make you relearn every station you’ve ever been trained for! And then, we’re gonna frame you for murder! And you’re gonna go to jail for 30 YEARS!”

Me: And I go: “Why are you doing this to me?”

Me: And they go: “Because we’re Panera Bread and life is a fucking nightmare!”

Me: But then sometimes I work morning shifts and it’s better

Watch "Being Not Straight" on YouTube

WOW!!!

Credit :- JTBC Entertainment Artist :- @j.sankim

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Mutuals please be aware I am walking between your desks and dropping lolly pops and small cards in your cardboard mailboxes as I go around