Lucius: I Have An Empty Notebook And No Idea What To Put In It. Any Suggestions?

Blackbeard: Hey, Stede-

Stede: [crying softly in front of the TV]

Blackbeard: Oh, did the documentary mention another bird that mates for life?

Stede: [nods]

Black Pete, standing on the dinner table: This place has gone to HELL!

Stede, to Ed: He does this once a week.

[as ghost hunters]

Oluwande: I think a ghost just grabbed my ass!

Ghost: It wasn't me, it was Jim.

Jim: what the fuck dude

Stede: And now it's time for some witty back and forth banter!

Izzy: [screams with rage]

Stede: I don't know where to go with that.

[family game night]

Lucius: You know, you're getting a little too old to play Twister.

Stede: Nonsense, spin the wheel!

Lucius, sighing: Right hand red.

Stede: [pulls every muscle in his body]

[group chat]

Black Pete: I'm tired of all you fake Ratatouille fans thinking the rat's name is Ratatouille.

Frenchie: Please, I only said that once.

Jim: It's 3AM. Fuck OFF.

Lucius: Pete with the right opinions as always.

Stede: THE RAT'S NAME ISN'T RATATOUILLE?!

[Stede has been removed from the chat]

Black Pete: I've had it.

Wee John: Roach just said 'I have an appetite for destruction' then leaned down and untied my shoe.

[first day as a pilot]

Control Tower: What are your coordinates?

Ed: I'm by a cloud that's shaped like a lion.

Control Tower: Can you be more specific?

Ed: simba

Stede: Is he always like this?

Blackbeard: Oh, yeah, you shoulda seen The Great Jenga Tantrum of 1710.

Izzy: IVAN BUMPED THE TABLE AND YOU KNOW IT.

Blackbeard: I thought I was meowing back and forth at the cats for the last hour.

Blackbeard: Turns out, it was just me and Stede meowing at each other back and forth from different parts of the ship.