the-skys-a-social-construct

Latest Posts by the-skys-a-social-construct

OMG IT'S BOB

Sci-fi shows, but really out of context:

Farscape

Stargate SG-1

Agents of SHIELD

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Battlestar Galactica

The X-Files

The Expanse

Fringe

Lost

Firefly

i screamed loudly inside the theater

are we still going insane about thunderbolts bc I don’t wanna seem crazy

here are my favorite real things that happen on person of interest

the ai is lesbian coded

the main guy reese is widely known as "the kneecap guy" because he shoots people's kneecaps out

the other main guy finch lives in a library. reese at one point gives him a dog. the dog eats books. reese is aware of this when he gifts the dog

they kidnap a baby and then have to raise it for an episode

reese gets two cops who are partners to do things for him but refuses to tell each one about the other person, so joss (played by taraji p henson) and fusco (this is actually his name) spend an entire season going "john I think they're onto me. I think they suspect i'm working for you." and he just goes "don't worry about it". he does this entirely to fuck with them

the show's evil hot lesbian villain root threatens to torture the show's bisexual sociopath shaw with an iron. it is their meetcute

at one point the dog in question is being used to threaten reese’s life. so they adopt it. fusco has a ball gag on during this scene

the dog eats a first edition isaac asimov

the cia and the fbi have a turf war

the cia and fbi both completely fail to capture this one dude, whose name and face they know, for two years

some fucking guy spends an entire season trying to take down the mafia while fucking with the duo and then when he goes to jail one of them just straight up plays chess with him weekly

the aforementioned evil hot lesbian root tries to kidnap and almost kills finch in the first episode they meet. she becomes a main character

shaw and root steal reese's grenade launcher

reese's backstory is that he straight up killed a man for domestically abusing his ex

one of them gets drugged on ecstacy and dances to a microwave about to explode

they live in a subway basement for a year

the creator of the lesbian coded ai has entirely bird aliases

Okay! You got me! I cheated! It’s shameful, but at least it’s honest work.

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SG-1 at the Zoo:

Sam: *Reading a map* If we just follow-

Jack: *Bribing a zookeeper to let him pet a tiger*

Daniel: *Accidentally leading a group tour because he started talking*

Teal'c: *Being stalked by a very aggressive goose*

Cam: *Feeding an animal he 100% was not supposed to feed*

Vala: *Already climbing into the penguin exhibit*

Sam: WHERE DID YOU ALL GO?

don’t you just hate it when you’re looking up a character you love and all of a sudden google autofills “death” after their name? how about all those people that don’t tag their posts as spoilers? what about when you’re looking for good fics on a series you haven’t yet finished and are suddenly assaulted by “no beta we die like charlie bradbury”

i would like to propose a solution. let’s all collectively start googling “death” for characters that never died. let’s gaslight google into thinking percy jackson got hit by a bus. lets tag our fanfiction “alec hardison you live on in my heart.” let’s call our cousins and cry about shawn spencer’s tragic passing for forty minutes. let’s make posts about how mad at marvel we are for blowing up miles morales. let’s complain about how pointless and ridiculous it was for samantha carter to just randomly die in an explosion.

let’s confuse everyone so much that no one will ever know whether kaylee frye drowned in quicksand or whether ron weasley got tuberculosis or if luke strangled leia or molly hooper was burned alive or whether foggy nelson got shot in front of a bar

Shawn: What a nice late night drive

Gus: Shawn. We are in an ambulance. It is 3:14 am. We are here because you drank a bottle of soap and ate a quarter. This is not a nice late night drive, this might be your last drive.

today at work this teenager came up to me and asked “do you get paid?”

like, no, jeremiah, i do this because getting yelled at by irate karens all day is my favorite fucking thing in the world.

Forgot the word "apostrophe," could only remember the Psych joke, and straight-up googled the phrase "God's comma" to jog my memory.

Juliet: If you love something, set it free

Gus: If it comes back to you, it’s meant to be

Lassiter: If it doesn’t, hunt it down and kill it

Psych (2006) really is just "Hi, we're detectives with the police department, and here's this weird guy who follows us around. No we can't stop him. We like him. Also here's his best friend. We can't stop him either. We tried."

Chief Vick: Why are you four drenched in blood?!?!

Shawn: Um, Gus had a nosebleed?

Lassiter: Don’t worry. It’s not ours…

Chief Vick:

Chief Vick: Do you have any idea how much paperwork I’m going to have to do now?

Juliet: They’re just being dramatic, Chief. It’s not blood.

Gus: Shawn ran into a shelf while we were investigating a paint store.

Shawn: Okay, maybe I messed that up

Henry: Uh, yeah, that’s apparent

Shawn: Actually, you’re a parent

Henry:

Shawn: Mine, specifically

The woe of being into old shows that have since gotten a TV show or movie reboot so all I see when I look it up is the reboot 😔

Stranger: Aww he's so cute!

Jules: Thanks, he's a rescue!

Lassie: Please stop telling people that O'hara.

Shawn: I'm going to eat a stick.

Gus: Please don't eat a stick.

Shawn: crunch

I KNOW! YOU KNOW!

Incorrect Leverage quotes [7/?]

Shawn: I am beginning to think we made a mistake.

Gus: What gave it away? The guards, the sirens?

Gus: or oh, I don't know, THE gunshots?

Hardison: Don’t worry. We’ll watch your back.

Client: Oh yeah? Who watches yours?

Parker: *smiles*

Eliot: *appearing out of the shadows*

Eliot: *hair flip*

Eliot: *looks really cool*

Eliot: *another hair flip*

Eliot: That… would be me.

not me buying a House MD boxed set of DvDs and then realizing i don’t have a DvD player

The horses in his brain are not ok

SGA + text posts pt 6

You seat a table of three for breakfast and the woman says hmm yes I will have a loaded waffle tower please and you say ma'am that's a children's item and she says so and you say okay fine and the man who brought a whole laptop in says ah, I will have what the lady is having and an orange soda and you say for breakfast and he says of course and then the guy who is clearly a criminal says what kind of bread do you use for your French toast and you say ... White and he says can I sub brioche and you say we don't have brioche and he sighs and says I'll get the rooty tooty... Whatever the cowboy omelette and the other two start razzing him about being a cowboy and when you come to check up on them the woman is playing airplane with the loaded waffle tower trying to get the criminal to eat it and they tip $200 and your watch has been replaced with a better watch

They really put the ha into hanging on by a thread

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they’re at the same crime scene

Shawn: I sense… I feel… There’s something sinister and dark brewing nearby…

Gus: Shawn, that’s a coffee maker.