this one time I ran a red light on mistake and I didn’t notice it was red until it was too late so I just ran the light screeching like an angry pterodactyl the entire time
a cop was at the intersection so he pulled me over and when he came up to my window he was wheezing cause he was laughing so hard and he said
“ok so i know you ran a red light and that’s really bad and you should never do it again but i’m not gonna give you a ticket cause that was the funniest thing i’ve ever seen and my partner can’t get out of the car cause he’s laughing so hard he’s about to pee himself”
i forgot that i’d had my window open when i ran the red light and the cop told me that all he heard from my car was this really high-pitched “screeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”
and that’s how i got out of getting a ticket for running a red light
Rick And Morty: Left // Right
Rick And Morty: Left // Right
Nasa Logo: Left // Right
Color Block Floral: Left // Right
The Outer Space: Left // Right
Which pattern do you like best?
ugly men are like, girls just want sexy confident chads who treat them like shit, when instead they should be with a stinky virgin with no social confidence like me who will also treat you like shit
Cat fits. Cat sits. (via candysaurus)
I’m eating this Russian chocolate and it made a rattling noise when I shook it and there’s a horse magnet inside???
when you get new followers
Ripped my pants
Wow so this is what it feels like actually hearing your instrument in a song