How I See Myself

Don’t you feel it’s a daffodil day.

Ah-meen

“Nothing would mean anything if I didn’t live a life of use to others.” — Angelina Jolie

[Image description: A photograph of a pretty twenty-year-old woman. Her name is Claire Wineland. She wears glasses and also an oxygen canula that fits into her nose, wraps around her ears and fastens under her chin. She has brown hair that reaches down to her shoulders. She is giving us a big smile, showing lots of front teeth. End of image description.]

“We’re the manifestation of some kind of underlying brilliance...”

Claire Wineland lived a beautiful, joyful life while suffering from CF (cystic fibrosis). At the end of August, she received a lung transplant, hoping this might give her a new lease on life. Sadly, she died of a blood clot on September second.

During her life she shared many of her experiences, her sense of humor, and a lot of deep wisdom in her YouTube videos. You should watch them.

Claire Wineland YouTube Channel

 She also started Claire’s Place Foundation, which provides financial and emotional support to families living with CF. If you can, please donate.

Claire’s Place Foundation

Here’s an example of her wisdom from her YouTube video, “What it feels like to die.” In it, she describes her experience of dying, up to the point when she lost consciousness and then was saved by medical intervention. 

me @ my anxiety: not our fault, shut up.

anxiety: OK but what if it is?

[Image description: A flower garden is surrounded by a high brick wall. We see a door in the wall has swung open, but perhaps usually the door is kept closed and locked so that the garden is private and secret. On the ground in the garden there are bright red flowers on the left, and on the right a mix of pink and purple flowers. The brick wall is covered with green-leafed vines. The door is painted light gray, but the paint is old and faded.]

When I go out into the world where the so-called normal people live, I sometimes feel resentful that I have to remain silent about so many things that interest and appeal to me. I feel I have to remain silent, because if I talk about these things I may get enthusiastic and go on for too long, and other people will find this annoying. In any case, they don’t want to hear about them. When I get enthusiastic, I get hopeful that they too may find these things interesting, but I am almost always disappointed. So it’s safer to be silent about them.

On the other side, I feel disdain for them and I also feel sorry for them. I think: “I have a secret garden with so many beautiful flowers in it, and it’s visited by honey bees and butterflies. And my cat is there too, playing in the grass. You people have no idea what you’re missing!” 

In a way, the fact that the garden is secret makes it more beautiful and more cozy to be in. But to be honest I do sometimes have daydreams about having a friend to share it with. 

This post is based on the idea for The Secret Garden, a book by Frances Hodgson Burnett, first published in 1911.

Oi! Come on, people! I haven’t gotten any comments on this one, so I’m trying again.

Poor excuse

I could have been a great success…if only I had been someone else.

beautiful smile

RIP Stephen Hawking 🌌

“Arrival at Kepler 452b” by Dusty Crosley.

Jae-五宝: 节日快乐 ：） 2017的最后几天希望依旧被照亮  

transl: happy holidays :) wishing the last few days of 2017 is also illuminated