The Last One Is Me Exactly Except I Have Only One Cat

[Description of image: there’s a soldier standing in full body armor because it’s his/her job to defuse bombs. The soldier looks like an astronaut because the suit is so thick and heavy and includes a helmet and dark glass shield over the face. Next to the soldier there is a robot device with a gun and camera. The robot device would be controlled remotely by the soldier.]

I sometimes feel like the character in The Hurt Locker. As a queer autistic person, I feel I have to get suited up in protective armor before entering the heteronormative world. I never know if I’m going to set off a trigger in their normal world, which will cause them to blow up at me and say, “That’s so inappropriate!” or “You’re so childish” or ridiculous or annoying. Those are bombs exploding in my face. But the triggers are hidden and I don’t know the rules for avoiding them. So their normal world is like a minefield for me. 

good advice

Hey megs, if you do, how do you deal with feeling unproductive? I get sick a lot in the winter and also can’t work as much as others as I’m autistic and I never feel I am doing enough and it’s especially bad when I’m ill (I have poor attendance in college) as I try and do anything but it’s nothing and I’m not even in school. thanks :)

hi! i also struggle a lot with fluctuating health and energy levels, especially where uni and work are concerned. i try to keep myself feeling positive and motivated (and in turn productive) by tricking myself into doing fun but productive things e.g. watching a documentary when at home so that im learning while resting, going to museums to recharge and draw for fun (getting outside and learning while also getting in illustration practice), changing up my environment (healthy habit) by going to a coffee shop to work for a couple of hours instead (or if im not up to working, then to read for an hour), going to the botanic gardens for an hours walk on days when my head feels too foggy and i’m restless, etc.

i also try to be really kind to myself and mindful of my thinking habits. i work really hard to not ‘beat myself up’ mentally- if i don’t do anything at all productive in a day, i dismiss it and instead think “ok well thats happened. what can i do now to better tomorrow?” and though it was really hard at first, it’s definitely gotten easier with time and i’m hugely better off for it. there’s no point dwelling on things that have already happened.

i also try to be mindful of my autistic health (though its a bit harder because alexithymia). i try to be as productive as i can until 5pm, then in the evenings i make time for resting, stimming and engaging in special interests. i find that special interests are really important in helping me feel positive and motivated in general, so relaxing in the evenings helps me to feel much better the following day, and i always prioritise/value this time, no matter how little work i got done in the day etc (i never ‘punish’ myself for not doing well).

if i feel that i’ve had a particularly bad or unproductive day, i tend to sit down with my planner/bullet-journal for a while and just sort of dump my brain out- making lists of priorities and out-standing/unfinished work/tasks. getting it all out onto paper helps me to remember and feel more on top of my to-do list, even if i’m not actually getting /that/ much done. sometimes when i’m doing particularly badly, i’ll rewrite these lists 3 or 4 times a week + it just helps me to feel grounded and aware.

i dont know if any of this will be helpful to you but i hope it is + i wish you the best

さむい by りー

it’s noble to put others first, but remember that if you don’t take care of yourself you won’t be any use to anyone. If you disable yourself then someone has to take care of you!

Autistic culture is taking care of your friends even when you can’t take care of yourself.

Phos is my hero / heroine

Phos and the crew.

I’m never quite sure how to conduct myself