Latest Posts by sarelisapphic - Page 4

i think the way i’m going to come out to my parents is through my college essay. there’s just a lot i need to tell them and it might as well also be sent to the schools i’m applying to because they want something real, not just oh hah sports injury essay. let’s just hope my english teacher isn’t homophobic.

Can yall shut up for a second and talk about DAN'S CONFIDENCE???? HIS GLOWUP??? My GOD I'm so happy for him I don't care if you like his photo or not I'm so glad he's able to be confident like that and 🥺🥺🥺🥺

I just want someone to tell me I haven’t wasted my life and mean it

i would love to explain everything in my room to someone i have so many stories of why and what things are

my secret agenda is actually just to sit in your room and show you my favorite songs while you explain different things you have on your wall or your desk to me

Look at you strawberry bitch, living in a ditch

Everybody shut up I'm sinking into a daydream universe where I'm loved and nothing is wrong

Coming Out

Sirius realized he was gay when he was twelve. It just made sense to him, girls were cute, sure, but he'd much rather play around with boys and stare at them in the Great Hall. He remembered going to the Quidditch tryouts and getting flustered while in the locker room.

It took a while for him to accept himself. He knew his family would disown him if they knew, kick him out immediately if he was lucky. He couldn't let them find out, because worst case scenario ... He didn't want to think about it.

He wanted to tell his best friends. He wanted to be honest and comfortable with the marauders, and almost 2 years after coming to terms with his sexuality, he did.

The first few tries he got cold feet. Either they were in a public space, they were interrupted, or he just felt too anxious to do it.

He got tired of waiting for the right moment, and became ashamed of being so scared. He should just say it.

They were in the boys' bedroom trying to catch a chocolate frog Peter had let out. James was a mess, shirt unbuttoned and wand in his back pocket, Remus was laughing at them while sitting alone on his bed, and Peter was running with James trying to catch the damn animal. Chocolate? Sweet? Sirius shook away those idiot thoughts: "Now's not the time to think of the appropriate name for a magical chocolate frog you eat."

Peter caught the frog in his hands a few feet away from Sirius, who was standing in the doorway awkwardly.

"Padfoot? You ok-"

"I'm gay."

The chocolate frog fell from his hands and leapt out of the room. He probably couldn't handle the tension between the four boys.

James chuckled "Nice one, Pads."

Peter laughed along nervously but Remus didn't; he furrowed his eyebrows and stayed quiet.

"I-it's not a joke" Sirius sucked in a breath trying to get his heartbeat to slow down "I really am gay."

"Oh" James said, taking steps backward, sitting on the nearest bed, facing Sirius.

"Do you ... You know ... Look at us when we're changing or something?" Peter asked quietly.

"Peter! What the f*ck!" Remus shouted "You're being f*cking rude!"

Sirius eyes shot wide and he let out a small whimper. His heart felt heavy and it actually hurt. He felt the need to cry, but you couldn't call yourself a Black if you weren't able to mask your pain and hold back tears.

James started buttoning up his shirt, maybe unconsciously, but he did it and that's what mattered to Sirius.

"I just thought you should know, but I never thought you'd act this way." He said, shifting his stance, leaning on his left leg instead of the right one.

"Sirius, we're sorry, we were just surprised" James said standing up "I just had never thought you would be a f*ggot."

Sirius's lips quivered and he felt like he was back at home. Face facing the floor, his mother's words stinging him and her hands hurting him.

He had never thought his best friend would hurt him like that.

Sirius left, leaving a confused James by the doorframe, that is until Remus pushed him to the ground, standing above him.

"Bloody hell, what was that for?" asked Potter.

"You're one of my best friends, mate" Remus pointed his finger at the boy in the floor "but you're being a cunt. He likes guys, so what? Get over yourself."

James was left embarrassed and ashamed on the floor while Remus went after Sirius.

"We were kind of cunts, weren't we, Wormtail?" James asked Peter.

"I don't get it, can't he just like girls? It's easier for him and for us" he said, helping James to stand up.

"I don't know, but maybe we should ask him before ... Accusing him of anything. Let's just give him time to calm down."

They nodded to each other.

(~)

Remus went after Sirius who was fully sobbing, pulling at the roots of his hair. He couldn't let him leave like that, thinking all his friends were stupid homophobes. They weren't. James and Peter just didn't know any better, and they would understand, in time.

It still didn't diminish Remus's anger any less.

"Sirius, wait."

Sirius stopped outside the Fat Lady's portrait, who luckily was empty. His back faced Remus, and his shoulders were jumping up and down as Sirius sniffled and tried not to cry.

Remus put a hand on his shoulder "They're idiots who didn't know what they were saying. You know them, they'll come around. James and Peter are good people."

Sirius nodded, still facing away from Lupin.

"You were really brave, Padfoot. People usually think Gryffindors are all about being wild, starting fights and saying comebacks to teachers" he chuckled in hope Sirius would too "but what you just did was the bravest thing I've ever seen."

Sirius's shoulders were finally resting still and his breathing was even again. He let go of his hair, brushing his hands against his legs.

"I'm bisexual, by the way."

Sirius turned around to face him, shock written across his whole face.

"I don't have the guts to do what you just did. Come out to the most important people in my life, all at the same time. Not yet. But the fact that you did makes me wanna follow after. So thank you."

Sirius was speechless. He just stared at Remus who stood awkwardly in front of him, scratching his arm with the hand that was previously on his shoulder.

He looked into Sirius's eyes "You're not alone."

Sirius had never been quiet for that long in the presence of his friends. But this time he knew he didn't need to say anything. He stepped forward and hugged Remus, resting his head against his shoulder.

Remus wasn't the biggest fan of physical affection, but he didn't hesitate to throw his own arms around the boy's back and squeeze him back.

Maybe that was when they started falling for each other, the point they would look back upon while thinking of when it all started.

But at the time, they were just best friends supporting each other. They were braver at that one moment than some people are in their lifetimes. They didn't talk nor did they kiss, they just needed a reminder that they weren't alone, they were ok the way they were, and they loved each other, and so did their friends.

I feel like a universal young queer experience is knowing that you'll never actually get to be your true self until you're out of your parents house, everything before then is an extremely watered down version of yourself. And your parents think they know everything about you but you really have a whole other personality and they know absolutely nothing about you, or only what you want them to know. It even applies to your beliefs, religious or political.

y'all people who hate beige/brown and think it's boring have no love for the humble dirt

Dark Academia Book Recommendations ✨📚

- The Secret History by Donna Tartt

- The Lake Of Dead Languages by Carol Goodman

- The Likeness by Tara French

- If We were Villains by M. L. Rio

- Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

- The Magicians by Lev Grossman

- Never let me go by Kazuo Ishiguro

- Metamorphoses by Ovid

- Dead Poets Society by N. H. Kleinbaum

- A series of Unfortunate events by Lemony Snicket

- Black Chalk by Christopher J. Yates

- The House of the Baskervilles by Arthur Conan Doyle

- The Bacchae by Euripides

- The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

- Memoirs Of Hadrian by Marguerite Yourcenar

- Possesion by A. S Byatt

- Les Fleurs du mai by Charles Baudelaire

my brain can't produce serotonin because it's using all of its power capacity to produce gay thoughts.

Okay listen if you are a baby queer and you don't feel loved, supported, or validated: you are the very precious grandchildren of the Stonewall rioters, the bright children of hope after the AIDS epidemic. You are the little siblings of ex-gay therapy survivors. You were fought for, and wanted, and loved. Everyone who came before you is so very happy that you are here.

if i had a girlfriend i would simply draw smiley faces on rocks and give them to her :-)

I fucking LOVE Edgar allen poe like howly fowk

i think it is very important to remember that you can like dark academia and dumb rom coms. you can read sappho and the hunger games. you can like libraries and tailgates. you can listen to mozart and taylor swift. you can admire monet and fan art from a show you watch. you can like cottagecore and like to party. you can watch obscure foreign films and the office. what is life without variety. stop stopping yourselves bc it doesn’t match your aesthetic.

The moon is a lesbian and the sea is her girlfriend. Change my mind.

dark academia on a budget

(because not only rich people can be dark academics)

-thrifting with friends for old sweaters that someone’s grandfather must have worn

-getting second (or third or fourth) hand books and reading the notes that other people left in them

-making sure everything is tidy and clean, no matter what

-adopting a minimalist aesthetic

-or making your own decorations (which then makes you better at lettering and art)

-sitting in a local cafe and buying the cheapest thing so that you can study there (and making sure that you tip as much as you can)

-reading poetry online, printing your favorites, and posting them on your walls

-taking as much of your family’s clothing that they’ll let you have

-rotating the same few shirts, pants, and shoes without anyone noticing

-a lack of jewelry (because there are more important things)

-sitting outside at a park to read or write

-looking outside windows on public transport while listening to somber music

the word preperations did make me think of wedding preperations... but then again, him preparing his project™ would be great too. it's a win either way. :)

listen. who says preparations when not referring to a wedding AND precedes it by mentioning homosexuality. I'm clowning like an idiot but LISTEN-

“We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.”

— Elie Wiesel

The thing about being LGBT+ is, at some point in your childhood, no matter how accepting your parents are, at some point, you have to question: “do they love me unconditionally?” And then you have to plan for the possibility hat the answer is no. And that fucks you up. Straight cis people never have to question that.

oh to be a round little bird and to say beep from time to time

being gay is so hard yes i want to be punk yes i want be a cowboy yes i want to be a pirate yes i want to be cute and pastel yes i want to be a cryptid yes i want to have a dark academia aesthetic no i will not be any of these because i cannot commit to anything and i am worried people will judge me

i’m gay, i’m tired and i have soft hair; what more do you want from me?

i’m a good person i don’t deserve to be mistaken for a heterosexual

it’s hard to be the gay cousin, the emo cousin, and the family failure, but someone gotta do it

october mood

I have a very strange relationship with cereal. I'll forget it exists for months at a time, then I remember that not only does it exist, it is one of humanity's perfect foods. Then I'll eat like 4 boxes in one day before some eldritch god takes the knowledge from me again. (Probably for my own good.)

Is it to much to ask to be a captain of a ship during pirate times?

Me, my wife and crew could sail the sea, enjoying ourselves and In good ol pirate fashion blow some shit up and rob something.

The crew wouldn't care that we are two girls because we would have earned their respect. (And they don't want to be thrown overboard)

Like that's all I want

Yes Physically i am here,, but mentally? Having a picnic in the woods under a willow tree, listening to the trickling of a nearby stream with a cute girl as we eat small sandwiches that could only hope to be as adorable as her~~~