The Brightest Witch Of Her Age.

Me trying to figure out how to logically ship drarry, scorbus, linny, wolfstar, and jeddy all at the same time.

these are literally the only villain redemption arcs that are good, so if you’re a writer, take notes:

zuko

megamind

dr doofenshmirtz

Harry hadn’t actually meant it when he told Draco that “he should try not getting arrested every few weeks.” At the time maybe he had, but Harry had grown antsy over the past few weeks.

Things had been quiet. Too quiet.

“You’d like to what?” the Head of the Aurours department asked.

“I’d like to conduct a search for Draco Malfoy,” Harry replied. Ron stood at his side looking unimpressed. Search missions required back up by law, and Harry had managed to convince a reluctant Ron to be his.

“He’s not going to give this up,” Ron pointed out.

“You know what, fine. Fine. But make it quick.”

____

Harry found Draco in the basement of Fangtasia brooding at 11am on a Thursday.

“You’re not wearing the necklace,” Draco pouted.

“That thing was bloody hideous Malfoy,” Ron said defending his friend. Draco actually looked almost offended.

“Come on Draco we both know that you usually have much better taste,” Harry said as gently as he could. Draco had clearly been struggling ever since he’d become a vampire, and as amusing as it was to watch, Harry wanted Draco to accept himself and find happiness...preferably with Harry.

“I knew you liked the leather,” Draco said proudly gesturing to his current outfit. Harry just shook his head and decided not to start this arguement.

“Draco are you okay?” Harry asked. The basement was windowless, but well lit. Draco sat at the head of a long table filled with unoccupied seats.

“None of them came,” Draco said looking at the empty seats around him with dismay.

“None of who came?” Harry asked.

“I tried to construct a founders council, and invited all the prominent Vampire families, but no one showed up,” Draco sulked. Harry nudged Ron before the boy could start laughing.

Harry was prepared for this. Harry had researched the Vampire Diaries when he’d realized Draco’s habit of picking up the identies of famous fictional vampires.

Harry spent the rest of the day making calls with Draco. They ended up enlisting Luna’s help and instead created a council of influential magical minorities.

Harry hopes that this was a good substitute for the support groups Draco had opted out of having. But wasn’t surprised when Draco ended up back in his office a week later.

Vampire Draco XD

LISTEN YOU… I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE WRITING THIS GOD DAMMIT! Tagging @violetclarity for inciting shit too. :D

Word count: 200

Harry sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose for what felt like the 20th time this month. Today was supposed to be a normal day, his day for paperwork and non-magical nonsense. So when his eyes fell on Draco, sitting as casually as possible in Harry’s office chair, Harry knew his day was done.

“What did you do this time?” Harry sighed, waving his hands in a way that indicated Draco should get the fuck out of his chair.

“I asked a wizard if he knew what I was….”

Harry looked at Draco quizzically. “What’s wrong with that?”

Draco sighed and reached into his pocket, pulling out a handful of glitter. Harry stared, already knowing where this was going but really hoping it wasn’t.

“Draco… Please tell me you didn’t.”

“….I did.”

Harry let his head fall to his desk, hands pulling out his hair in hard tugs.

“But- But, just listen! It was going great, I was broody and reciting poetry. He was totally hooked.”

“And then…?”

“And then I threw glitter in his face.”

“Draco, what the actual fuck? That’s not even… The vampire in that book fucking actually sparkles. Like “diamonds”… He doesn’t throw sparkles.“

“Oooooh….”

Being a writer means having like 5 baby name websites bookmarked, a very suspicious browser history, and a vast amount of knowledge about seemingly random topics like when stop lights were invented or how much blood you can loose before passing out.

something we agreed we like about uncle vernon is that despite like, personally suffering at the hands of wizards pretty significantly (dudley’s tail, marge), vernon is like, always ready to fuck with wizards? like he is SO SCARED of them but he’s always ready to fight? please take this moment to imagine uncle vernon meeting voldemort

I've been working non stop for the past month...so I kind of stolen this prompt from Pinterest

If you guys have any ideas for the comics I would love to listen

Somebody said muggle youtuber AU and I just had to

pansy: *shoves draco* pansy: goodness, draco, how clumsy of you! blaise: everyone say “hi snapchat” draco, from the floor: fuck you both

closeups of a huge drawing i’ve been working on the past few days. i just wanted to draw them in fun outfits lol

full version + coloring page will be available on my patreon

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The most hilarious thing about the fact Buckbeak had a trial and lost is that later on JKR resolves the issue by having Hagrid take him in again and renaming him Witherwings. That’s literally all it took. What if in POA, Hagrid simply said, “Sorry, Buckbeak flew away.” 

“There’s a hippogriff right there, Hagrid.”

“A different hipprogriff.”

“I’m… pretty sure that’s the same hipprogriff.”

“Prove it.” 

I absolutely ADORE the idea that Drarry has three kids and oldest one’s a Slytherin, the middle one’s a Gryffindor, and then when the third kid goes to Hogwarts Draco and Harry have been like AT EACH OTHERS THROATS (lovingly) over what the tiebreaker kid will be

They’ve made thousands of bets and now that the kids are all out of the house almost all of them are loud and sexual

And they get the letter back from their youngest and Harry’s triumphantly reading it until he gets to “…and I was sorted into Ravenclaw!” and Drarry is forced to face the fact that they’re both so self-absorbed they only remembered Hogwarts having two houses