Just An Introduction To Anyone Who Might Be Reading 💕

I wish my boyfriend could be as devoted to me as I am to him. There’s nothing in the world I hate more than sending a message hours ago, him opening it and not replying and the popping online multiple times but not responding. I’d do anything for him and he won’t even text me back or realize that he hasn’t spoken to me in a while and message me. If I didn’t love him so much the relationship might be over. He knows if he can’t talk to let me know.

So, because I’m not gonna incriminate myself I’m using code names when referencing people in my life and this is a break down of everyone and who they are to me

Lazy girl: ex best friend, used to be best friend from 12-14 but this bitch really knows how to be a two-faced manipulative bitch

Bible freak: girl who I’ve been in friend group with since last year. Thinks I’m stupid and she’s the most intelligent person because she reads books and has the audacity to criticize Shakespeare as well as make it clear to me that because I was conceived through artificial insemination that I “shouldn’t be here” aka shouldn’t be alive

Miss Yes: kind of a friend but never states her own opinions or thoughts and is Bible freaks best friend

My wife: my closest friend who also loves gossip and just gets me. Amazing human being 💖

Asshole: my ex bf (first bf ever) from when I was 14 who basically cheated on me and gaslit me the entire relationship

Two faced bitch: stupid whore who encouraged me to date asshole and then cheats on assholes best friend with asshole and betrays me completely, always rubs it in my face that they’re kinda dating but kinda not

Tarzan: current bf, kinda looks like Tarzan hence the name, really amazing guy but has said a hurtful thing to me

Think that’s everyone for now. So I’ll see you in my first entry 💋

Why I'm No Longer Friends With Lazy Girl

So Lazy girl and I were friends for like 4 years and eventually became best friends. She did help me through some shit but also dragged me into other shit. I always felt insecure around her because she made me feel like the DUFF by pointing out my acne or commenting on the way I dressed. She loved getting attention from guys even if that guy has a girlfriend. Shes the type of girl who will try and compare hand sizes with every guy in class to make herself seem more small and petite. This annoys the shit out of me because I hate girls who will break girl code for a guy’s attention like come on. What made me draw the line is when i mentioned wanting to be more empathetic to people because i don’t wanna become a narcissist and she replies “Yah I can see some signs” WTF. Also definitely not a coincidence that when she picked up weight and I lost she accused me of having anorexia. Whenever we went shopping shes say “Are you getting a small then i should get a size smaller” even though we were really similar in size. She thinks every guy is flirting with her when she wants to talk about sexual thing. What does she fucking expect they’re guys. Honestly i just want her out of my life. I was hoping that by her not writing exams, because she couldn’t handle the pressure, would put some space between us and she can use the time to get back in the game with school. But nope. She’ll just have to deal with the consequences.

That’s enough for todays rant. See you soon. XOXO

When you hate studying but have the need to be top of your class 😩

Gonna make a short post to get the anger out because it’s late and I want to sleep. My parents have had no issues with my boyfriend coming over during the exam period until today which was the day I balled my eyes out over a math exam so when he finished his try ones for the day he brought food and watched one of my favorite movies with me. My mother knows that every day when she questions whether I’ve studied it feels invalidating and like she doesn’t trust me so when she brought it up today she knew how it would make me feel. Next year I’m going to live 13 hours away from him and he might have to spend our first Christmas as a couple in another country. Even my stepdad who likes my boyfriend questioned me.

My Problem with My Mom

I’m gonna leave for the airport in a few hours but basically I’m going on a tour to europe with some other students from my school and my mother has to micromanage everything. I wanted to enjoy my last hours at home with my animals and she asks me why I’m not stressing and says she’s concerned because I’m not like wtf. Let me enjoy my last hours at home in peace before I go away for 2 weeks. She doesn’t want me to pack anything I want in my carry on either I can’t bring a journal she doesn’t want me bringing my book and I can’t bring the plushie my boyfriend gave me. She sees I’m upset and just tries to fix it by being nice and ignoring my feelings. She does this all the time and just tries to get me to stop crying instead of asking me how I feel and why.