Martra’s Astronomy

Afternoon Snack (AU)

That’s how those theories started!

Ethan’s so done… but what can she do? Kenyan will never get used to processed meat and bland plants. It feels like eating plastic and poison.

Rest in peace, cute blue bird 🕊️🪻

Yeah, my style is gradually degrading its quality 😝 Comics take too much time for something useless (it’s not relevant for the main story) and I will not spend more than a day to do it. And I know if I decide to continue it another day, I’ll never finish it ❤️

(If you don’t know, Auvies are carnivores. They might be able to eat plants, but it tastes really bad.)

Yet another backstory!

AO3 / Wattpad

9 Y - 0 M - 4 D

“I want that squirrel.” Ethan pointed at the tree that was triple his height.

His mother took off her sunglasses, searched for the animal between the leaves, and analyzed her little boy.

“You’ll get your clothes dirty.”

“I can wash them later.”

She saw the squirrel far away, really far away, holding a nut and moving its nose. Such an ugly creature…

“Do you want to eat that?”

“It’s not for eating! It is to be my pet!”

“Pet?” She frowned and leaned on. “Is there a special reason for this?”

“Because Tony is small, and it will be cool to chase him there!” Ethan put his hands together. “Please, mum, can I have it?!”

She looked up and down at his new outfit: polo shirt, shorts over his knees, led shoes, and, lastly, his puppy face.

Fragile. And extremely cute.

She sighed. “Yes, you can, but go slowly so you don’t fall.”

“Alright, mum! I love you!” said him, already running at the tree.

He arrived at the base and checked if he was in the same direction as Tony. The squirrel didn’t move at all, so it would be easy to catch him!

Hugging the tree, Ethan put a foot on a bump, and pushed his body up. He gripped the next branch, tested if it held his weight, then pushed up again.

He kept doing it, slowly as his mother told him to, until the largest branches finally arrived. It was the hardest part: to get over there; but Ethan could see Tony just at the edge, and he wouldn’t stop now that he was this close.

Placing his hands in minor areas, he managed to get his torso over. To get his legs up as well, he just had to drag himself on the branch and… ta-dah! He was safely sat!

The squirrel was still with its nut, trying to open it with big teeth. It made Ethan smirk. Tony was kinda similar to Sam in appearance; would they like to meet each other? Ethan was certain they would, so he should hurry.

He moved subtly to not scare Tony, just like his mum did in other times. It would probably work with him, too, if he did the exact same thing.

“Hi, Tony,” he whispered. “Do you wanna go to my house? There’s a lot of food there.”

He showed his hand to the squirrel, who stared for a long time before approaching. His tiny paws let go of the nut and touched Ethan’s hand, as if searching for something.

“Hey, this tickles!” Ethan giggled and squirmed as Tony traveled his arm and shoulders, stopping over his head. “What are you doing there? Is it comfortable?”

Ethan could feel the squirrel pulling his hair, then going still as if he found the perfect spot. After realizing he was ready, the boy put the nut in his pocket.

“Now, we just gotta get down and…” He froze.

When did he get that high?

His body tensed as he looked down for the first time. No way he could jump from this height; he’d turn into a pancake! What could he do?! What could he do?!

He hugged the branch, looking for his mother who was just a minuscule red point on the green.

“Mum!” he called, but she didn’t move. “MOMMYYYY!”

Tony squeaked and left in a rush, jumping on Ethan’s legs and causing more screams.

“NO, TONY! DON’T RUN!” Ethan wanted to catch the squirrel, but his body was locked. “COME BACK, PLEASE!”

Yet the squirrel disappeared in the leaves, totally forgetting about the promises of food and new home. Ughhh, what a traitor!

Ethan looked down again and his heart sank.

His mother wasn’t on the bench anymore. Where did she go?! Did she leave him stuck there?! How could s—

“Ethan, is everything okay?!” Her voice came from below, returning his soul to his body. “Did you get the squirrel?!”

“HE LEFT!” Ethan carefully looked down, but regretted it immediately. Spirits, what a nauseating place to be in… “I’M STUCK, MOMMY! HELP!”

“You climbed up; you figure out how to get down!”

His eyes darted at the horrific distance between him and the ground, and, nuh-uh. Nope. Sov.

“MUM, IT’S TOO HIGH! I LOVE MY LIFE! I WON’T DO IT!”

She chuckled softly. “It’s not hard, son! Just put your feet in the same place you put before, and climb down!”

“BUT I WILL FALL AND DIE!”

“You won’t, I promise you!”

“MUMMMMMMMM!” He shut his eyes and gripped the tree like a koala. “I’M NOT GOING DOWN!”

“And I’m not going to get you!” She sat beside the tree. “If you’re staying there, we can pass the night here. I don’t mind!”

Ethan couldn’t believe it. Was it for real? She really wasn’t coming to save him?? Even if he’s clearly in danger?! She doesn’t mind if he dies?!

…no, she must be kidding. She was letting Ethan stay for longer because he broke her bracelet. She said it was fine, but maybe she secretly got angry at him, and now was taking advantage of his situation. That must be it. He just gotta wait until she pities him.

Yeah, she was going to get him soon.

Soon.

At any moment.

At any second.

When she feels like it.

Before it was night.

She would do it.

However, time passed, Ethan didn’t move an inch, and his belly was getting wild. The only thing he had all afternoon was an ice cream, and now his stomach was trying to eat him inside out.

Meanwhile, his mum was there, laid down and resting peacefully on the grass.

“Mummyyyyyy… I’m hungry!”

“Me too.” She didn’t even open her eyes. “A shame you let that squirrel escape.”

“Tony wasn’t food! He was my pet!”

“As you say, dear.”

And she kept silent, not uttering a single word about saving him. The crickets and owls were talking more than her, at this point!

His lips trembled when he talked again. 

“Mum, will you really leave me alone here forever?!”

“Of course no, am I not here?” She smiled. “I won’t leave you alone, Ethan; I am letting you learn something useful.”

“But it’s past the time of learning anything! It’s time for dinner, then fairytale, then bedtime!” 

“I know, it will be such a hassle to fix it when we get home, so can you climb down quickly?”

The boy stared at his mum, measuring once more how hard he could fall. Maybe it wasn’t that far, but…

“It’s dark, I can’t see.”

“Ethan…” She huffed and got up, resting her hand on her hip. “We both know you can see clearly—the moon is full, and your vision is better than mine—, so stop procrastinating and get down!”

Ethan breathed in deeply, gazing from his mum to the tree trunk. He could see everything, as she said, but could he do it?…

“Sweet, hear me,” she continued. “It’s not hard. Drag yourself to the trunk, hold it, then put your foot on the nearest branch. After being sure it won’t fall, repeat the steps until you get here. It’s the same as going up, but in the inverse order. Easy, right?”

“Easy, saying! It’s not you here, mum…” he grumbled and swallowed dry.

However, he knew he had no other way to leave. It was climb down or climb down, so he stretched his hands forward. Slowly, focused and shaking, he moved on the branch towards his goal. 

Without looking down, he got at the trunk and squeezed it with his arms. His heart was about to break his rib cage, but he continued the process: a foot down, blindly looking for a new support, then descending over it.

Sometimes Ethan would misstep on a lump and feel his blood vanishing, but then he’d find a way to stabilize himself, say thanks to the stars, and keep the journey down.

It wasn’t easy at all; it was hard, terrible. He felt like he’d fall at each action, hurt himself while falling, hit the ground, go to the hospital, have a head surgery, then die, leaving his mum crying for him the rest of her life.

And this was exactly what happened.

Disturbed by his own thoughts, he glanced down for a second. A millisecond. A tenth of a millisecond. And that was when gravity pulled him down with all its might.

It was fast. Too fast! Ethan screamed and reached for something to hold, but he only held onto leaves who folded with him. He couldn’t seem to stop! He was going to hit the ground! He was going to die!

“ETHAN!”

He shut his eyes, prepared for the inevitable, for the impact, and—

He rolled like a barrel, in a tight space, muffled noises, and aching body. When he stopped spinning, his brain didn’t. It kept sick, feeling suffocated. His lungs were heavy, and it just was tight. Everything was unbelievably tight.

The voice was what made him realize the cause of that problem.

“Thunder! Begone evil!” His mother cursed behind him, still pressing him against her chest. “Do you want to give me a heart attack, Ethan?!”

He couldn’t tell apart her heartbeats from his, but he knew they both weren’t fine. She was shaking. Or was it him? They were too close. Her arms were entangled around his body and he could feel her uneven breath on his hair.

Ah…

Safe. He was safe. He didn’t die. His mum saved him. She got him before he hit the ground. She saved him.

He held weakly to her hands, and the tears came at once. 

“Ethan…” she called and turned him over. “Ethan? Are you hurt somewhere? Did you hit anything??”

He shook his head, but she checked him whole as he didn’t stop to cry. He couldn’t, and he didn’t understand why. Instead, he jumped into her arms again, hugging her neck and weeping louder.

“Son?…” muttered her.

She didn’t push him away, nor told him to be quiet, nor mocked his ugly face.

She just held him back, pulled him closer, and mumbled softly:

“I am here, Ethan. I am here.”

I decided I’ll add short backstories after each chapter (probably). So now I added one and update some tiny details in the other chapters. (Ugh, it’s so annoying to update things in three apps, cuz I use Docs, then AO3, then Wattpad 😭)

AO3 / Wattpad

9 Y - 11 M - 22 D

“Are you coming later?”

“Uh… I don’t know if my mum will let me go, especially in this weather.” He looked at the sky outside. That storm was about to collapse everything, for certain.

“Jesus, Ethie! Your mum will never let you visit us?!”

The boy smiled sheepishly and fixed the backpack straps. “She’s worried. We never stay away from each other, you know?”

“You are away now.” Sam raised his brows while pushing the door open.

“The teachers are looking,” Ethan said while dodging the loud children. “It’s not the same as going home with you.”

“My mum will be there, why would she be worried about anything?!” He glanced at his friend. “Sometimes I think she’s too protective of you; just saying.”

Ethan grimaced. “I know, but…”

It was his mum. It was normal for her to be worried, right? It meant she loved him a lot. It meant she cared. There was no reason for him to be mad.

Not when she was there at the entrance, with two umbrellas at hand. She always came to get him in time, no matter the situation.

And his mum had the prettiest smile ever.

“Hi, sweetheart.” She kissed his forehead softly before patting his head. “Did you have a good day?”

“Yeah, mum! The teacher tried to make an experiment, but he had the wrong ratio, so I taught him how he could fix it!”

“Nice job, Ethan,” she smiled. “I bet the teacher was deeply impressed by you.”

“More likely depressed…” mumbled Sam.

Ethan heard it and he knew his mother heard as well. It was that brief twitch in her ear that gave her feelings out.

At that moment, Ethan wanted to have telepathic conversations with her, so he could gently say, “MUM, YOU CAN’T ARGUE WITH MY FRIENDS! I WON’T TALK TO YOU ALL DAY IF YOU DO IT!”, but as he didn’t have this power, he just begged internally she’d understand his intentions.

She gazed at him and glared at Sam for a tense, long moment. The boy averted his eyes, retreating a step, and Ethan was ready to snoop in to help his friend.

But then her polite smile came back.

“Hi, Sammy. How is Mrs. Price doing?”

Ethan exhaled and nudged Sam to answer, who frowned and whined lowly before turning to the woman.

“She’s fine, Ms. Yaneh, thanks for asking.” He looked at Ethan and cleaned his throat. “By the way… I asked her earlier, and she said Ethan could come over after school. If you let him. She said she’d get us by car because of the storm.”

“Did she?” Ethan whispered.

“She did.”

“But didn’t you say you’d ask her when s—“

”She did,” Sam scowled at him.

Ethan finally understood and got quiet. Sam was predicting the future, as he liked to describe his lies. He was used to saying things he hoped would happen—and they mostly did—, but Ethan wasn’t in the mood to risk it with his mum. Should he meddle in?

“Oh…” She turned at the view. “Why go by car when you can walk? The weather is nice today.”

The kids looked in the same direction she was looking at. They saw no living beings out there. They heard the rain making holes in the roof. They shivered with the cold wind. It didn't seem it would stop soon.

“Nice weather?...” Ethan tried slowly.

“Yes, it's refreshing and the sun won't bother you. Truly wonderful… Don't you think so?” She sounded genuinely confused. “Ah, is it because you don't like the noise, son? At home, it’s not that loud; you will feel better when we get there. Let me carry your bag.”

Ethan didn't question. It was “mum being mum”, so he just handed her the bag.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Sam interrupted. “You are not thinking of going in that storm, are you?! Why didn't you park your car closer, Ms. Yaneh?!”

“I didn't bring the car, Sammy.” She put the bag on. “Didn't you hear? It's a nice weather to walk.”

“But you're going to get drenched!” He fiercely pointed outside. “It’s raining!”

“...yes, I have noticed, thank you.” She gave an umbrella for Ethan. “Shall we go? I have to cook lunch.”

“Ma'am!” Sam got between her and Ethan, spreading his arms open. “You can't do it! Isn't it better to talk to my mum, so she can take us home by car? I'm sure lunch will be ready!”

“Sam, don't…”

“You can't possibly be okay with it too, right, Ethie?! You will get sick!”

People were gathering around, already muttering about a fight that would start.

“It’s Ethan, again.”

“Ohh, he must be destroying that loser!”

“Is that his mother? Won't she stop them?”

Oh no, they were getting it all wrong. Ethan wasn't fighting anyone this time! And can't they see it's Sam? Why would he do such a thing to him?!

However, Ethan realized his mother wouldn't care about fighting a kid or two…

She pushed Sam out of the way a little more intensely than necessary and held Ethan’s hand to pull him close to her.

“I appreciate your concern, Sammy Price,” she replied dryly, “but I know exactly what I am doing. I'd also appreciate it if you cease your insistence, so don't try asking once again if Ethan can go to your home—he will go when he's ready for it. Meanwhile, feel free to visit us with a previous warning.”

Ethan visibly cringed as his mum pulled him away. He should say sorry to Sam, but how could he, if he couldn't even say bye?! She just kept leading him forward, creating more rumors to his scholarly life.

“You saw it?! Even Ethan’s mum is cool!”

“Of course, she is! He had to learn it from someone!”

“I’d be the happiest kid alive if I had a badass mum like her…”

Argh, for the stars! They'd keep saying it the whole week, asking Ethan a thousand questions, and importunating his studies! That was terrible! Horrible! His life ended!

When they were finally alone, Ethan stomped in place, screaming to be heard over the rain.

“MUM, why did you have to do that?!”

“Do what?” She fixed his umbrella over his shoulder. “Stating the obvious for that child?”

“Being rude to Sam! He was suggesting something good for us, not a kidnapping!”

“Is that so? Next time, tell him I only accept useful suggestions.” She held his hand and pulled him to move. “No, to be more exact, tell him not to suggest anything if I haven't asked.”

“MUM, I'M SERIOUS!”

“And so am I, Ethan! I honestly don't understand why you would befriend someone like him, but you still want it, so I’m not trying to stop you…” She sighed and glanced at him. “I just want you to be careful, sweet. You are very special to me, and I get worried about what could happen when I'm not there for you… Can you try to understand my side?”

“I understand, mum! But you also need to understand my side!” He pouted. “I’m almost ten! I'm growing! I can live without you for a few hours, you know?!”

She gripped his hand and looked away.

Ethan stepped inside a puddle.

The rain filled the silence, constant with its sound.

Why was she taking so long to answer back? She'd sometimes lose her words when the subject was her, but it didn't happen when it was his demands. She'd find a way to make him satisfied, then laugh about how stubborn they both were.

Why was she thinking so hard? Was she really scared that Ethan would get hurt by visiting Sam? If so, she must have a reason, right? She wouldn't think this just because.

“...If it's dangerous, I won't ask for it, mommy. I'm sorry.”

“It’s not dangerous, it’s just…” She could barely be heard, as she wasn't even facing him. “You're right, you're growing. I should be the one sorry for not realizing it. I'll let you go to Sammy’s house.” She swallowed and grinned at him. “But could you wait until you're ten? I wanted to stay these last days, you and me, doing our things together. Before you turn full grown-up, right?”

He smiled and lowered his head. “I was kidding, mommy, I won't be a grown-up when I'm ten!”

“You lied to me, you little menace?!” She let go of his hand to pinch his nose. “I was completely worried that I'd need to buy you L sized clothes, and you were kidding?!”

“AHH, I'M SORRY! LEMME GO, MOMMY!”

They laughed and joked all the way back home, ignoring the rain and all the cars who passed by throwing water.

Somehow, they didn't get a drop wet.

Shizore

The fluffy cloud-bees 💕 They float in groups so nobody gets their body dispersed in the air! Also, their colors ain't defined like in this drawing (yellow and black strips); it's more like a mess of tones of yellow and some black spots. Consider it an Ethan’s drawing simplifying what he saw.

In Summer, Divulon(similar to the Sun) shines for longer times, warming them a lot, and causing them to rain toxin/acid. If this rain falls into rivers/lakes, the citizens need to purify it before using it (I guess I will explain it later). If nobody tries to purify it, until Winter this water will turn into other shizores (consequently purifying the water too).

Nixies need shizores. As they are born from flowers, they need shizores’ rain to fertilize a special kind of flower that doesn't die from the acid. After getting rained over, these flowers will bloom more Nixies in Spring.

For this reason, Nixies have the job of taking care of shizores, keeping them over the right flowers so they won't kill other plants.

Quality Time

Behold! The drawing that almost gave me a heart attack ❤️ despite the problems, it finished fine and I loved the result 🤙🏽

In case you don’t recognize, the boy is Seth, from In My Hands (Ashes AU, idk if this name is good, help), and the doctors are Sylris and Kenyan. Mostly, Sylris does all the stuff, and Kenyan is there as a support for them.

Seth has his hashtag now, if you want to check it out.

Valentine Cards 2

Sylris’s turn!

(I got lazy and didn’t make the drawing 🤙🏽 it’s also written in a different format, but enjoy it)

Interview - Sylris

Greetings, citizens of Martra and all surroundings! Today, Odabrani—our king and messenger— provided us a glimpse of his personal life!

“Hello, my friends.” Smiles gently. “You can call me ‘Sylris’ for today. It’s a basic personal information to have: my full name, ‘Sylris Kem Yaneh’, and my age, somewhere in my 40s.”

Oh! Such a beautiful name, Sylris! If you are watching us from Earth, his age is around 26-28 human years! Now shall we start?!

1. Sylris, many would say you’re a master of manipulation. What’s your secret to always staying ahead of everyone else?

“Do they say it?” Chuckles. “Well, it’s not a secret for anyone: patience is the answer. Trying to get ahead of them will make you get ahead of yourself, and this is when you fail. So take it easy, as if this is a walk in the park.” Smiles.

2. You’ve lived through some… questionable situations in your past, yet you seem to have come out on top. Is there any moment you regret, or do you consider everything a necessary step to where you are now?

“Hm… tough question.” Leans back in the couch, leg crossed and hands together. “I wouldn’t call it regret, but there are certain things I could have done better, made a different choice…” sighs. “Entertaining that ugly noble was so boring, so easy… Kenyan is far more interesting to deal with.” Smirks. “But I don’t regret my outcome, and I’m sure my steps were extremely necessary to get me here.”

3. You seem to have a very… unique perspective on relationships, especially with Kenyan. Some might say you’re controlling or manipulative, but do you see it as simply ‘guiding’ her? What is it you want from her, exactly?

A smile slowly creeps on his lips.

“What do I want from my wife? Isn’t it obvious? What more could I wish, but the best for us?”

“You might have the vision I’m manipulating her, but at the end, weren’t they all her choices? Wasn’t she the one who pushed them away? Wasn’t I the one to stay?” Fidgets with his ring. “Not wanting to brag, but I do much better than certain people who ‘swear to love you till the moon and back’,” says in a high pitch and laughs.

4. You have a son, Ethan. Do you care about him? Or is he just another piece in your grand design?

“Ethan Yaneh, my son.” Hums, tapping finger on thigh. “I must admit: I wasn’t a present father in his life, despite my wishes. But what could I do? Kenyan didn’t want me close to him, claiming I would ‘intoxicate the kid with my behavior’.” Snorts. “Such an idiocy, if I must add. He’d be far better living with us, learning important lessons, instead of stay in Earth playing house. And the worst? Kenyan isn’t there to watch him, so who knows how he will appear next?” Frowns up slightly and looks away. “As my son, I expected he’d be at least a bit dignified. I know he was smart at school when he was a kid, but I worry his intelligence go only for academic matters…” sighs.

5. Let’s say things don’t go your way. Let’s say you lose. What then? What happens to you if you’re outplayed?

“It won’t happen.”

…but in a “what-if”. Just in case—

“It won’t happen.”

He stares at the interviewer, straight face.

Okay… could you at least explain?

Lifts an eyebrow. “I made sure of it?” Crosses his arms “No matter what, I am sure I will win. Even if I die, I win. So there’s no reason to delve deeper into this subject… next question.”

6. You hold so much power, so much control. But tell me—when you were younger, powerless, no one—what kept you going?

“As I said, patience first. But it’s desire what run us, no?” Tilts head slightly. “Desire to have something greater, to be someone bigger, to do things better. I desired, so I moved. And look where it took me?” Smirks, glancing at the luxurious room of the castle.

7. You talk about desire like it’s the only force that matters. But do you ever just… want something simple? Something human?

“Hm… greed itself is a very human feeling; saying that my power and desires aren’t ‘human’ for being complex is pretty rude.” Leans back. “But I understand your reasoning. In my case, I lost my parents when I was young, when my place was enslaved. Perhaps it made me miss something to call ‘home’? So having this castle, these people to rule, my wonderful wife, and a cute son?” Smiles “Well, I guess I fulfilled my ‘human’ wishes.”

8. You say you love your wife, your son. But if they ever truly betrayed you—if Kenyan escaped, if Ethan fought against you—what then?

“…I don’t see it happening. I don’t know why they would do such a thing, but…” Fidgets with the sleeve of shirt. “If they ever do, I’ll just have to bring them back?” Smiles softly. “As a father, my role is to keep our family working, right? And I exercise my function with perfection—they wouldn’t stay far for a long time. They would eventually miss it, no? The comfort of being together? Of having a home, just like I did?”

9. You’ve been in control of everything, all this time. But tell me the truth—just once. Are you ever afraid?

“Well, it gets a bit annoying when something goes out of planned. I do have a plan for everything, but changing the strategy in a rush is always a mess.” Sighs and rolls eyes.

Hm, I didn’t ask if you get annoyed; I asked if you get afraid. Fear. Worry. Do you ever feel like that?

Frowns. “Why would I? Nothing out of ordinary will happen, nothing scary as my late mother-in-law destroying my planet.” Looks away, nonchalant voice. “If I was to die; okay, it wouldn’t be bad. If Kenyan was to die; a problem, but I would fix. If Ethan was to die; I told Kenyan he had to be here.”

“So, no, nothing scares me. I’m at my comfort zone, 24/7.”

So, I was watching Avengers Age of Ultron yesterday, and I decided to bring my fic back to life 🫶🏽

The Enhanceds

I’m reviewing the chapters I posted in 2023, and only then posting them again. And I HOPE I’LL BE ABLE TO WRITE MORE CHAPTERS. (I’m too inconsistent, sorry 😞)

Valentine Cards

Kenyan’s turn, with her boyfriend, Hiélo:

With her husband, Sylris:

Who do you think is her favorite? It’s so hard to know!🥰🥰🥰 (And, WHOO, she’s really the best. If she killed me I’d say sorry for dirtying her hands 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽)

I thought about what each character would write in their cards, but I’m wondering if I’ll be able to make a drawing for each of them… it’s so exhausting 😩☠️

CW: abuse, gore?, description of burning death

AO3

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Sunburn

“Ah… I wish you had found your new friend.” Sylris smiled and placed his crown on a pillow. “The imaginary intruder should be on the stacks too, don’t you think so? They were very disrespectful at us, my dear.”

Kenyan didn’t bother to answer, as she was busy trying to take off her rings, what at the moment seemed like an impossible task. Her hands wouldn’t stop shaking and her body was burning inside out.

Burning almost as much as she had burned those people.

The difference between them and her was in their innocence. They were people who begged for food. People who ran from a slavish job. People who fought to protect their family. People who denounced an injustice.

And she was a murder wearing a lavish long gown. Pampered by all, adorned with jewelry; an elegant example of holiness and grace to Martra.

Her nail bent over and she hissed. Blood was simmering from there, dripping down on the white skirt, and all she could do was stare at it. Stare at the red blur, at least, as her trembling wouldn’t let her focus on anything.

It was deeply awful. Herself, she meant. She was awful. She should be dead with them. Or better saying, they should be alive, and she should suffer the worst death in this world. That was all she deserved.

“Hurting yourself already?”

Sylris came from behind when she noticed his hand holding hers. His other hand had fell on her waist, keeping her close to him on this embrace.

“You know this won’t change anything, right?” he whispered against her pointy ear. “Hurt yourself or no, they’re still dead. Unmoving, unchangeable, permanent: that’s what death is. That’s what you did, my love.” He took her hand to his lips, and kissed her fingers, one by one.

His voice was nauseating. His words made her skin crawl. His kisses were poison. And his hands? Treacherous, horrendous hands? Always knew where to touch, where to press, where to hold.

He had slid his arm around her belly, and her body faltered slightly over his. She shivered as her unsteady heart went out of control.

What kind of personal betrayal was it? How could her body lean upon the evil she despised the most? How could she feel anything other than hatred for this nasty creature?

But perhaps a monster called for a monster. Her other half would be like her half.

It was only fair.

Even so, she’d rather be alone forever than staying with him.

“Let me go, I’m tired,” she muttered. “I need to rest in my chambers.”

“Why not in mine? You’re shaking so much; it wouldn’t hurt to have someone to hold you, would it, love?” He turned her over, keeping them face to face. “Or are you thinking about staying with your pet at this time of night?” He smirked.

“He’s not my pet,” came the automatic answer. However, her throat tightened at the thought.

After their discussion, Hiélo came to say sorry a thousand times. His ears were flat, his tail dull, and hearing his voice cracking gnawed at her conscience; which led her to accept his apologies. But, honestly? She didn’t want to. For some reason, she only wanted to be mad at him a little longer. She only wanted to have time to organize her feelings and find a proper reason to forgive him.

But since when did she have a choice? How could she be mad at the person who was trying to love her despite her actions?

She swallowed dry. “Hiélo won’t be there, I promise. I won’t call him.” She slowly took his hands off her. “I want to rest alone; is there a problem with it?”

His eyes scrutinized her wholly. It felt like being under a predator gaze, waiting to be devoured at each minute, counting the last seconds of her life— but then he let go of her waist.

“No, there is not. You can go ahead.” His hand lifted her chin softly. “Ask a maid to help you with the rings, okay? I don’t want to see my wife fingerless.” He chuckled and his face approached hers.

The knot on her stomach increased as she knew what was happening. Knowing didn’t make it the slightest better, so she shut her eyes and counted to five for what seemed an eternity. A hot, burning eternity. Hell itself.

Curse her head for getting lighter.

When he broke the kiss with that grin of his, she didn’t stay a second to hear him. Nothing good could come of that mouth, and she kept repeating it for herself as she stormed on the empty halls.

The heat was unbearably clinging to her, suffocating her lungs and expeling the oxygen left on her. And the tricky part of it? She could stop it, if she wanted. Her spiky halo was lightening the environment, and it was the blatant proof that her powers were acting over something, over herself. Warming, heating, burning until her head was spinning, until her gut was churning, until her skin began swelling.

And they had it worse. They didn’t have time to dwell in a little dizziness.

It was pure torture. Flesh tearing apart, splitting, and shearing from the bones; fire crackling and screams breaking through the space; the stench of coal and smoke flying in the sky… until there was nothing left to see—not even their ashes.

That was the power she held. That was the sin she carried.

Her insides unraveled midway her room, throwing up the contents of her stomach on a corner. She gagged and cried as her body fell its temperature, taking advantage of the unease to finally turn her furnace off.

Really, how could someone live like this? How could someone like her still be alive? Just who allowed her existence in this world?!

She should be dead. She should be dead. She. Should. Be. Dead.

But as she wasn’t, she raised from her place and stumbled forward.