julianunderwood

Latest Posts by julianunderwood

it's the fantastic drowse, of the afternoon sundays.

me : *does something that literally no one notices and has zero effect to anyone*

me : i’m so sorry omg i’m so embarrassed i —

"stop overthinking" oh thanks never knew there was an on and off switch to this shit

Does anyone else love bad weather? Like the kind that’s loud and dark and draws attention to its self like pounding rain drops and thunder and lightning that seems just so close. And you can sit near a window and it’s dark outside and maybe you’ve got a candle lit or a lamp and it’s so warm inside and you’re wearing you’re favourite sweater and watching a good show or reading a good book and it’s beautiful outside the rain and the clouds and the sound of it all and you’re just so content and cosy and happy

"Pleasure and thrill are conducive to sadness after the so-called peak has been reached; for the thrill has been experienced, but the vessel has not grown."

-Erich Fromm; To Have or to Be?

i am in severe distress. i am vibing. i am king of the world. i am bored. i am lost at sea. i am making coffee. i am foraging in the forest. i am making tea. i am chasing pigeons. i am napping in a chair

Had a professor who does not know me walk by and say ‘Ah yes. I can see it in your eyes. The fear’ today and fuck if I wasn’t terrified before I sure am now

College gothic

the water in the showers turns cold. your fingers are turning purple. your teeth are chattering. you have not touched the knob. the water in the shower starts burning you. welts rise on your skin. there is no air, only steam. you have not touched the knob.

“Good morning” someone says. it is 7:30. “Good morning” someone says. it is 1 in the afternoon. “Good morning.” Someone says. It’s nearly midnight. “Good morning.” you reply.

you are going home this weekend. you were just home. you have not been home in months. cobwebs grow over the pictures of you. cloth is draped over the furniture in your room.

the days drag by. the days go so fast they blur into one another. what month is it? you do not know. you have class.

you’re so tired. your hands are shaking. you’re buzzing with the caffeine of your fifth coffee. the words of your textbook are blurring in front of your eyes. someone asks you if you are okay. what is okay? you are tired.

“I don’t have any finals” someone says to you. horns erupt from your head. wings sprout from your back. you shriek loudly at them, a bloodcurdling sound that cracks the windows. “lucky”

“Sign up for the acapella group!” “sign up for chess club!” “sign up for magic the gathering club!” they all meet at the same time. they all have the same four members. “i can’t,” you say “I have class.” they look at you like you have five heads. they do not remember class

your residence hall is having an event later. you tell yourself you’re going to go. you forget and curl up in your bed instead. darkness surrounds you and tucks you in. you don’t want to leave your bed. your bed is safe (you still don’t know from what) the next morning you wake up and see that your residence hall is having an event later. you tell yourself you’re going to go.

I like listening to ppl talk so i can see whats normal and whats not normal

someone: you need to make a decision!

me: *starts crying*

Lori Gottlieb, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

I drank coffee and read old books and waited for the year to end.

Richard Brautigan, Trout Fishing In America (via siriusorion)

overanalyze and chill

I firmly believe that there’s a “right” time to read a certain book. It’s okay if you’re interested in a book and it sits on your shelf for years. Maybe it didn’t call out to you when you wanted something to read because it was waiting for the right time to mean the most to you. Not saying this is always the case, but this has happened enough to recognize the magic.

One of the best coffee places I’ve ever been to.

*goes on urban dictionary to look up the slang words everyone uses*

We read in bed because reading is halfway between life and dreaming, our own consciousness in someone else’s mind.

Anna Quindlen (via quotemadness)

Books don’t offer real escape, but they can stop a mind scratching itself raw.

David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas (via wordsnquotes)

rainy afternoons and cozy coffee shops ☕️

i personally love to over analyze everything and suffer