Latest Posts by ignaciovanburen - Page 2
MOTHERRRR
@mothercain at kilby block <3
if i was an animal and i knew i was being observed and researched i would do something super fucked up. but only once. never again. ruin their lives. keep them guessing.
#my wife is on the SOR for being gay #no joke #she hit on a girl in a straight bar once #in 1997 #and while the girl was into it #the off duty cop sitting nearby was not #and so he arrested her for ‘soliciting homosexual activity’ #which in our state was still a felony #in 1997 (and would remain so until Lawrence v Texas in 2003) #and since ‘soliciting homosexual activity’ was a felony and a sex crime #she got put on The List #she is still on there to this day #because it costs MONEY to ask a judge to take you off #and she has tried four times#since 2003 #to get taken off the SOR #but every time the judge has said something like ‘no you pled guilty to the crime i can’t possibly take you off the sex offender registry’ #with no acknowledgement of what the actual crime was #(the crime of being a butch lesbian hitting on a cute girl who was into it) #(in 1997)
Reposting these tags with consent from the person that wrote them. The post about the Sex Offenders Registry is locked, but these tags are too important to go unnoticed.
Younger queer people need to realize that the SOR being used against queer people simply for being queer isn’t some ancient history thing. It still impacts queer people today. And it can quite easily be used that way again.
A Cinderella Story (2004) dir. Mark Rosman
Harm Reduction Eating Disorder-Edition
The following post might be triggering, altough not intended. This list is a collection of my own tips, tips I found on tumblr and tips my doctors and therapists told me:
Always carry something with actual sugar in it with you. No, not a zero sugar candy but something with glucose. Take it if you feel dizzy/ feel like you are about to pass out.
Eat if you want to drive/ride! Doesn’t matter if you wanna go somewhere by car or by bicycle. You are putting yourself and others at risk! Don’t. Do. It. If you don’t wanna break your fast ask someone else to get you there or take the bus. If you really need to get there by your own you should eat s o m e t h i n g. Maybe your safe food or some fruit.
Don’t trust people that claim to be a coach! Someone who suffers from an eating disorder would never share tips to destroy yourself! Most of them are old man that try to get your nudes. Never ever send them pictures or give them personal information. If you need to vent or you need something just text me and I will listen.
You don’t need to restrict like crazy in order to lose weight. Check out your basal metabolic rate. This is the amount of calories your body burns by simply existing, like laying in bed all day and not moving an inch. You should not eat less than your basal metabolic rate.
If you are a minor, don’t tell anyone. Don’t put your age in your description. There are creepy people out here that are looking out for young girls that way.
I know going to the toilet can be a tough situation when you suffer from an eating disorder. Instead of using laxatives try out natural apple-juice or plum-juice, maybe even some dry fruits. You can also try out flaxseeds (drink water with it!) or maybe you want to take some magnesium.
You should take vitamins/ go to the doctor to check your vitamin levels.
That one is well known, but I want to mention that you shouldn’t brush your teeth after purging. Drink water or milk and wait 30-60 minutes before you brush your teeth. If you struggle with bulimia you should also invest into a good toothpaste and go to the dentist on a regular basis.
Don’t count calories when you binge. You will only make yourself feel bad by doing that. It is not helping you at all. Drink water or tea and lay down. If your tummy hurts you should put a pillow or something like that underneath your legs. This position will help your belly to relax.
Don’t go ‘all or nothing’. If you binged take some time to rest until you get better. Don’t go in even harder, because you think your day is already ruined. Don’t eat another bag of potato chips because “it doesn’t matter anymore and you already fucked up”. The brain is like a field. Everytime you binge you are leaving a trail. The more often you use this trail, the more wide beaten it will become. If you stop using the trail, grass will overgrow this path and it will be easier to make new, healthy habits. One day you will not even be able to tell where the path was. With that said, every single time you refuse to binge, you refuse to give in because “you already messed up” it will get easier to resist the next time you feel the cravings kick in.
I have to get skinny because there's nothing I can do about the fact that:
I don't have a beautiful face
I'm not exceptionally talented at anything
I grew up poor and don't have cool vacations or life experiences to make me interesting
Trauma has made me a really boring person who's been stuck in survival mode their whole life and therefore doesn't have a cool personality
But if I was skinny. If I was skinny there would be at least ONE cool thing about me. At least one thing for people to wish they were me over. At least one thing for people to feel envious of me for. At least one thing about me that would be loveable.
Could go for some pleasures of the flesh right now tbh, shoutout to pleasures of the flesh
I think there's a real tragedy in the way straight men don't see themselves the same way that people who are attracted to men see them. If you ask a straight man to describe what an attractive man looks like, there's very little variety - the masculine male ideal is tall, broad-shouldered, square-jawed with a cleft chin and built of sculpted muscle. The stereotypical image of an Alpha Male, someone whom he could respect, and envy.
And sure, there are plenty of women, gay men and people of all sorts who are attracted to to this specific type, even exclusively attracted to it, there is so much more variety in this, both in the tastes and their subjects.
The stereotype of "hot wife, ugly husband"-couples was drawn from the observations of straight men, from their own perspective. Women going after men that men find unattractive makes no sense to them, and they figure that women are willing to overlook being ugly if a man's funny, smart or rich enough. If a woman insists that she's attracted to a specific man who isn't attractive by their standards, they'll assume that she's lying.
The tragic part is when a man who believes himself to be ugly grows bitter over this, developing a foul personality which people do find repulsive, and then uses their repeated experiences of being romantically rejected as proof that they're physically unattractive, insisting that surely women would overlook his heinousness if only he was tall and muscular enough, and had the right bone structure. The self-feeding vicious cycle of being a bitter incel is born.
The thing about "ugly men with a good personality can still be attractive" is that they're usually not even ugly. Some people do genuinely find fat and hairy men, thin and delicate men, short men and feminine men attractive. There's as much variety as in cheese, you can't compare aura to brie. And just like in cheese, as long as you're not toxic, somebody's into that. You just need to find the right wine to compliment it.
wtf is a "male manipulator"
that's just a regular man
People are like “these animals have exoskeletons and these ones have endoskeletons” but no. It’s all exoskeletons, your exoskeleton is protecting your bone marrow which is where your soul (which is you) is. The rest of the stuff is extraneous decoration that Big Pharma wants you to think is important/
when two musicians sing into the same microphone and lean in very close to each other… like omg are you guys gonna kiss now to relieve the homoerotic tension?😳
but it’s a ✨ choice ✨
Tread here.
me bc i have seasonal depression💋💋
Chantal Akerman by Micheline Pelletier, 1979
yes please
Every reblog removes one HP from the queen
Scenes from a Marriage. Dir. Ingmar Bergman. 1974.
Doppelgängers in films/tv Possession (1981) Evil Dead II (1987) Twin Peaks (1990–1991) The Double Life of Véronique (1991) Perfect Blue (1997) The Haunting of Hill House (2018) Us (2019)
04/13/05
@tennisinc: “We renewed our vows on Saturday. 10 years felt like 10 minutes.”
fleabag's fourth wall breaks being a metaphor for dissociation, and her doing them every scene EXCEPT when she has sex with the priest where she physically shoves away the camera. it being the first time in the entire show where she's fully present in the moment... poetic cinema.
(C.B.)(5.24.18) - posted by @poeticsuggestions / Talk Show Host - Radiohead / Orlando - Virginia Woolf / The letters of Emily Dickinson / [unknown art piece] / The portrait of Dorian Gray / Oscar Wilde / A breath of life - Clarice Lispector /The underdog - Markus Suzak / The Archetypes - Marina and the diamonds / Christoph Kieslowski - the double life of Veronique
"Transandrophobia" Primer
There's a wild amount of misinformation about the term "transandrophobia" going around, and has been for a long time. So let's dig in a bit and set the record straight.
What it is
"Transandrophobia" was coined as an alternative to "transmisandry", and describes the unique oppression targeted at and faced by transmasculine folks (and people perceived to be transmasculine).
Transmascs experience oppression not just on the basis of being trans, or (typically) AFAB, and certainly not on the basis of being men alone. What we experience is unique to being transmasculine, and the way cissexist society categorizes and responds to us: not as women, not as men, but as an "other" that lies between the two.
Some quick examples of transandrophobia:
Trans men are the most likely group in the trans community to have negative experiences with healthcare providers.
AFAB trans people in general are most likely to be denied HRT.
Trans men are most likely to be denied surgery coverage.
Trans men are most likely to avoid healthcare out of fear.
Nonbinary people and trans men were most likely to report having never, or only sometimes, been treated with respect by law enforcement.
Trans men are more likely to experience problems with airport security.
Trans men are most likely to avoid public restrooms.
Over half of all AFAB nonbinary people and trans men experience sexual assault. These are the highest rates in the queer community.
9 out of every 10 trans men seriously consider attempting suicide. This is the highest rate in the queer community.
About half of all trans men attempt suicide. This is the highest rate in the queer community.
What it Looks Like
Transmascs are generally placed in one of two categories: confused "girls" they believe can be saved, and evil, dangerous "other" they believe are beyond saving. There's a ton of overlap in these two categories, both in what they experience, and in the fact that oftentimes the two are experienced simultaneously; even in the same situation.
A quick, incomplete list of how these things can manifest:
Infantilization ("soft", "little")
Removal of autonomy
Stereotyping as "whiny", "hysterical", or "entitled".
"Butch flight" or "ROGD" - the idea that transmascs are stealing butch lesbians.
Pressuring transmascs to be more feminine/womanly, either through overt force, or through subtler manipulation.
The desire to "make transmascs women" via sexual assault (corrective rape).
The idea that testosterone causes aggression; emotional, physical, and sexual- therefore transition is dangerous, and transmascs who transition are dangerous.
Fearmongering around transmasc transitions; "binders can never be safe", "vaginal atrophy is untreatable", "you'll get fat/ugly/acne/sweaty/oily/smelly", "phalloplasty is too dangerous/expensive/unsatisfying to be worth it", etc.
Medical professionals dissuading transmascs from transitioning; stressing risks that can in actuality be mitigated easily, nitpicking family history without presenting options, etc.
The idea that transmascs only become trans to "escape misogyny" or to "gain male privilege".
Erasure of transmasc experiences, esp. experiences with misogyny and transphobia.
Lack of resources for transmasc abuse survivors.
Lack of resources for transmascs in need of reproductive healthcare on the basis of "male" gender markers, names, voices, and appearances.
Why We Call it That
"Transandrophobia" can be broken down in two ways:
"Trans" + "androphobia" = the "trans version" of "androphobia", a fear of men or social bigotry toward men.
"Trans-andro" + "phobia" = a social bigotry directly specifically at trans men/transmascs.
The second is the more common interpretation and usage, largely because the first can be interpreted, by some, to mean that those using the word are suggesting that it's actually (cis) women who oppress (cis) men, that we don't believe patriarchy exists, etc. This, of course, has never been the intention of the word.
The first break-down above could also be interpreted to refer to patriarchy's negative stereotyping of men- as aggressive, dangerous, and sexually predatory.
While that doesn't translate to systemic oppression of cis men, those same feelings- a general disgust and fear toward the concept of manhood- do inform how society responds to transmascs. As a group of people who are oppressed on the basis of being transmasculine, those feelings do play a role in transmasc oppression.
What it Isn't
"Transandrophobia" is not an attack on, or accusation toward, any other group of people.
The word does not imply that trans women oppress trans men, that transmascs have it worse than anyone else, that transfems are horrible bigots, that transfem issues do not deserve the attention they receive (or, ideally, far more attention than they currently receive).
It does not imply that cis misandry exists, that "MRAs were right", that patriarchy and misogyny aren't real, or that feminism isn't necessary.
It does not signal bigotry toward other groups. Whatever your personal opinion of the word, of who uses it, or of who coined it, the word is a word and it stands alone from those things. It belongs to the transmasculine community.
It does not demand anyone pay any less attention to other important issues. It does not accuse other trans people of oppressing us. It does not dismiss the existence of patriarchy or structural oppression of women. It does not belong to any one individual.
Why We Need it
There are real, tangible issues within the transmasc community- things that are unique to transmascs- and those things happen because of a unique bigotry toward transmasculinity.
In order to address those problems, we have to be able to talk about what they are and why they happen.
In order to talk about that, we need a word for what it is. "Transandrophobia" is that word.
Don't get me wrong: the word might change at some point, and that's fine. If the transmasc community as a whole decides that we would like a new word, and creates one together that suits those new needs, that's fine. But as of now, this is the most common, recognizable, easy-to-understand word we have.
"Transandrophobia" belongs to the transmasc community, and it's up to transmascs to define, interpret, create or remove associations, revise, and replace, as it sees fit.
What You Can Do
If you're transmasc:
Talk about your experiences. Connect with other transmascs. Join transmasc community spaces, create new ones, and maintain a positive, productive, and inclusive culture within those spaces. Uplift transmascs with different experiences from you.
Be an ally to other trans people, to people of color, to disabled people, and to other marginalized groups. Do not allow resentment toward the trans community- any part of it, and especially toward transfems- to fester in any space you inhabit.
If you're not:
Listen to transmascs. Seek transmascs out to listen to. Uplift transmasc voices. Learn. Ask questions, even if they're scary, and be ready to be surprised by the answers.
Think for yourself. Own your opinions, and own where they're coming from; don't blame them on other trans people. Acknowledge your limitations in experience. Know that you don't need to understand in order to respect us. Try to understand anyway.
