Can We Just Have A Moment Of Silence For T'challa And The Inevitable Mockery He'll Have To Face Once

Sister of the Bat

I love siblings!Brucinette, especially Marinette being the older sibling. (Maybe I am projecting as the eldest child and enjoy bullying younger brothers in general.)

So hear me out.

Marinette is adopted by the Waynes when Bruce is like 9 or so.

She is older by like 2 years and her parents died. Bruce's parents took pity on her and took her in.

Gina takes Marinette with her as she travels around after Tom and Sabine dies in an accident and one of their stops is the Wayne Manor because Gina is good friends with Alfred.

Thomas and Martha offer to adopt Marinette to give her a stable home life and Gina accepts.

Bruce acts very much like Damian and demands her to get out of the mansion and insists that she is not family, much to his parents' dismay. He refuses to acknowledge her as a sister.

Marinette at least tries to be nice and be friends with him but her wellspring of patience can dry up and she later starts to call him 'demon brat.'

Marinette was there the night outside the cinema. The two siblings got a little closer after it and at least, stopped fighting each other on a daily basis. Alfred wishes it didn't take Thomas's and Martha's death for the two to get along.

Deep down, Marinette blames herself for what happened that night because how else can you explain why everyone she sees as a parental figure dies. Bruce doesn't blame her though.

So fast forward to when Marinette is 14 and she goes on an exchange program to Paris to visit her hometown. It took a lot to convince Bruce to let her leave Gotham and promises to come home for the holidays.

Hawkmoth happens. Bruce figures out that she's Ladybug when she refuses to come home for the holidays and investigate why.

He comes to Paris to help. Alfred follows to keep an eye on the two and also wants to know what the situation is since he used to be a miraculous holder.

Alfred had a 'talk' with Fu about putting responsibilities of a city on the shoulders of one of his wards. He also nearly got akumatized when Marinette was made Guardian and had more responsibilities on her young shoulders but managed to calm down.

Hilarious scene I thought of. Alfred cocks his shotgun, threatening to shoot Su-Han when he shows up and fires a warning shot to make a point.

They stayed in Paris for 2 years. Moving into Marinette's old house when the exchange program ended.

Bruce gets tempted to use the earrings and ring to bring his parents back but ultimately doesn't upon finding out about the consequences.

Of course Bruce is going to get a miraculous. I was thinking the rooster or the dog. And the weapon is a boomerang. Oh wait, how about the horse. It sorta works?

Hawkmoth gets defeated. Gabriel goes to jail. Adrien gets his mother back. The Wayne siblings and Alfred move back to good old Gotham.

(I realized that this got longer than I expected.)

Time skip to a few years later, when Marinette goes to Tibet to be trained as a Guardian and Bruce follows her not long after to learn how to fight and figured the Temple was a good place to start.

After she finishes her Guardian training, they both travel around, sometimes going their separate ways and meeting up again once a few months. Marinette only sometimes trains with some of the masters Bruce was learning under, she mainly goes around looking for lost Miraculous and righting the balance in places.

Of course, Marinette gets on the first plane to Nanda Parbat to knock some sense into her dumb brother, the moment she found out that Bruce was training with the League of Assassins.

"Okay, I left you alone for a week and the next thing I know you are in the League of Assassins. THE LEAGUE OF ASSASSINS LED BY RA'S AL GHUL. What the hell were you thinking, Bruce?! Does Alfred know about this?"

"Well, it is the League of Assassins. Assassins, Mari. I need to know every form of fighting so I can be Batman."

"I am sorry. Bat-what?"

"Batman. The identity I created so I can fight in my crusade against crime."

"Right.... That totally makes sense. But why a bat? I thought you were scared of those. I literally hung pictures of bats in my room so you would stay out. I even made a bat plushie named Terry. You remember Terry, right?"

"Yes and I hated him. The point is, I chose a bat as a sign of overcoming my fear and using it as a symbol to strike fear in the hearts of my enemies and as a symbol of hope for the innocent."

"Did- Did you just.. have an answer ready for when people ask you why you are dressed as a bat furry?"

She stuck around to pester Bruce into quitting the league and simultaneously mess with Ra's at the same time.

She used magic to keep herself hidden and succeeded to stay that way until Bruce left.

She's also the reason why Bruce hates magic.

Marinette went back to Gotham first and set up a fashion empire.

Bruce comes back and starts being Batman.

Marinette at first tries very hard to respect Bruce's decision to do this mostly on his own. Until an incident where he got stabbed and instead of resting, he goes out.

So tired older sister Marinette puts on a black kelver suit with bits of red as a homage to her time as Ladybug, a domino mask with white lenses and a cape with a red hood (Hawkmoth had ruined cowls and she later changed it into a kelver jacket with a hood because despite the dramatic effect it brings, she was not great at jumping around rooftops with a cape which made Bruce takes great pride in showing off how great his cape is any chance he gets)

She went out to make sure Bruce doesn't get killed. (No miraculous because she doesn't want people coming to already crime-filled Gotham for them)

People called her 'Red Hood'. (Joker uses that alias because he wants to taunt the Bat after hearing rumours that 'Red Hood' was dead. Jason took it because it's the name of the one person who pisses Bruce off and gets under his skin more than anyone.)

Batman has that deep and gruff voice to disguise his voice while Red Hood uses magic to distort her voice enough that it was still understandable but drove shivers down people’s spines.

She was there first hand and managed to record a lot of failed or dramatic moments Batman has. Blackmail...

Bruce is stubborn. He tells her that he has everything handled while getting his ass kicked. Mostly he gets the villain of the week tied up in an hour and Marinette leaves to go deal with something else in another neighbourhood.

Not very often there are cases where Bruce is obviously very tired and needs help but is too stubborn to ask for it. Marinette asks if he needs help and he says no. She lets the fight go on for like 15 minutes, casually leaning against the railing or wall and in one case, eating chips and sharing it with a barely conscious henchman before asking him again. And joining the fight whether he said no or not.

-------

The nature of their relationship is questioned as they are seen together often enough.

That came to light when Penguin was dangling Red Hood above a death trap and threatened Batman that he was going to kill his girlfriend unless he met the demands.

“Ew…” “What the-. No!” “Gross. I would rather die, thank you very much.” “She’s my sister.” “My standards are way higher than that.”

“Oh. My apologies. But still the same sentiment. Do it or she dies.”

“No.” Batman answered.

“Kwamis, if this is about the cookies, I said I was sorry, Baby Brother.”

“The sign clearly said ‘Do not Touch.’”

The two clearly adult, usually serious and fearsome vigilante bicker like children.

Penguin cleared his throat after being frustrated at being ignored, “Hello, still here by the way. And I thought he was the older one.”

“He wishes.” Red Hood snorted, already freed and ready to kick some Penguin’s ass.

“Oh no.”

------

Joker thinks he is Batman’s arch nemesis. And for the longest time, was the only Gotham Rouge who has never faced Red Hood. (Marinette knows about the Joker but due to the circumstances and dislike for the man’s fashion choices, has never met the ‘Clown prince’ in person.)

But Joker doesn’t pay attention to frivolous gossip of the Gotham underworld much. So as far as he knows, there was only one vigilante in town and that was the Batman who is his equal and vice versa or so he thought.

That illusion was shattered, the moment another figure appeared from the shadows while Batman was busy trying to deactivate the bombs on the hostages.

“Yo, Demon-Brat, Need help?”

“No.”

“Who is this, Batsy? Your sidekick?”

Red Hood looked offended, “I find that very offensive.”

Batman sighed, “The bane of my existence.”

It was Joker’s turn to be offended. He puts on a hurt face, “But I thought I was your arch nemesis, Batsy. What about all those fun times we had?”

“Sorry, Jester. But me and Bats have a longer history.”

“It’s the Joker. You nitwit.”

“Nitwit? Come up with better insults, you second-grade clown. I have seen birthday clowns scarier than you. And it’s the green wire that you need to cut.”

“Who are you anyway?”

Red Hood took a bow. “The name’s Hood. Red Hood. I am here to make sure the Demon-Brat over there doesn’t get killed, dressed as a bat furry. Now, any last words?” She aimed her guns at the Joker.

“Oh. I think I will like you.”

[Fight scene as Batman frees the hostages and then, they fight the Joker together.]

As Joker is led into the car that will take him to Arkham Asylum, “I don’t like you.” He said as he glared at Red Hood.

------

Batman is working on his latest case in front of the Batcomputer when his phone rang from a number he wished never called.

He answered it.

“Hey, Bruce, I am going to be in town for the next few days. This is a heads-up, in case we ever ran into each other.”

“Understood. Is anyone new going to show up during your stay?”

“Maybe. That remains to be seen.”

“Tell me when it happens.”

A small laugh at the other end. “Same old Brucie.”

Alfred enters. “Is that Miss Marinette?”

“Hello, Alfred. Nice to know that you are well.”

“Miss Marinette, it would be nicer if you come by the manor. It’s rather empty without you.”

“I would love to, Alfred but my schedule is rather packed and I am pretty sure the manor is full of strays that Demon brat had brought home over the years.”

“They are not strays. They needed someone to train them properly and they agreed to be adopted.” Bruce still hasn’t figured out how he has so many kids. One day, it was just him and Dick and the next thing, kids come and go from his house. But he wasn’t going to let her know that.

“Sureee…”

“Miss Marinette, it’s been so long since we last saw you. I am confident that you and Master Bruce can remain civil for a few hours. Please come by.”

A short silence.

“Do it for me. Please.” Alfred added.

“For you Alfred, I will come over sometime in the afternoon tomorrow but I cannot promise anything else. Goodbye.”

“Good Day, Miss Marinette.”

---

The next morning, Bruce wasn’t in a good mood and the kids tried to figure out why. Bets on Jason or Damian.

Alfred on the other hand looked almost giddy with excitement, cleaning up the manor with a vigour.

When he was asked, he answered “Miss Marinette is back in Gotham. She’s coming over for a visit today.”

Dick and Jason seemed to understand what Alfred meant.

“Wait, she’s back. Does Bruce know she’s going to be here?”

“He and the Miss have agreed to be civil towards each other.”

“Well, I am going to the kitchen to make some popcorn. This is going to be good.” Jason said, gleefully rubbing his hands together as he walked away.

All the other kids looked confused. “Who’s Marinette?”

Dick answered,“She’s well...if there was anyone in the entire world who can drive Bruce mad, it’s her. I swear he came close to breaking the no-kill rule every time she visits. Last I heard she was in Australia.”

“Why does Father dislike her that much?” Damian asked.

“She was the original Red Hood.”

“I thought Jason stole that name from the Joker.” Tim scratched his head.

“Well, the Joker stole it from her to taunt B. When B started off, Batman had...um...a partner. This was way before my time. Her methods were a little conventional. She prioritizes the innocents but she broke the no-kill rule a few too many times. Nearly killed the Joker once.”

“So what happened?”

“They argued a lot. Fought nearly all the time. By the time B had Jason for like what? a year?, she moved out of Gotham and rarely came back. The last time was Jason’s fifteenth birthday before he died and we never heard back from her again, except for a few birthday presents”

“Why isn’t there any picture of her? Why have we never heard of her before?”

“Bruce likes to pretend that she doesn’t exist because...well... you’ll see.”

------

Jason to Dick later. “You didn’t tell them?”

“No. Would you tell them about her and Bruce?”

“I see your point. This is going to be epic. We are totally recording, right?”

“Way ahead of you. Cameras in nearly every angle of each room, plus hidden microphones for audio. Babs is making sure they are all in working order. Thank Bruce paranoia at times like this.”

Doorbell rings. “And Action.” Jason said as he and Dick took out their phones to get some first hand footage. Extra blackmail is always handy to have.

Alfred opens the door to reveal a woman in red, wearing sunglasses. Outside, a red and black motorbike was parked. Her hair was dark and hung loose down her back. She takes off her glasses to reveal bluebell eyes that held the same steely glint as Bruce but they softened at the sight of the old butler.

“Hey Alfred. Long time no see.” She warmly said as she hugged him.

“Miss Marinette. I must say that I miss having your charm around the manor.”

Seeing Dick and Jason in the hallway. “Boys, look at you. You have grown so much. Dick, I see you finally got rid of the mullet.(It wasn’t that bad, Dick said under his breath) Jason, see, I told you that you will get bigger than me one day.”

“Hey, M / Aunt Mari” They hug her.

“Jason.” Her tone changed and he froze, she sounded pissed. “You name stealer.”

“I wanted to make you proud. I was very mad at B back then and I thought why not use the name that pisses him off the most. And you were my favourite auntie.” He tried to explain himself. Maybe he should have asked her first before using her name.

Marinette thought about it for an antagonizing long time watching him squirm, “Hmm….Valid. In that case, you can be my successor.”

“Always knew I was your favourite nephew.”

“Hush, that’s our secret. Now where are all the other strays Brucie has.”

The other bat kids had appeared from where they were.

“Oh… are these the new strays that Brucie brought home over the years?”

“I am no stray. I am Father’s blood son and his heir. You will treat me as such, woman.”

Marinette mutters under her breath, “No doubt about it, you are Bruce’s son. Can’t believe that Demon brat actually got a kid with his DNA. I thought for sure that he was going to keep adopting kids with some resemblance to him.” Jason laughs.

“I am Tim. And the Demon spawn over there,” He gestured towards said kid, “is Damian.” At the nickname, she raised an eyebrow and looked at Dick. He nodded. She chuckled.

The excited blond woman hugged her next, “Hi, I am Stephanie, unlike the others, I came in and never got adopted.”

“Smart girl.”

Stephanie pointed towards Cass, “and this is Cass. She doesn’t talk much.” Cass settles for a wave.

“I am Duke. The family’s newest addition.”

“The only ones not here are Babara, Harper, Colin and Kate.”

“Kate as in Kate Kane?”

“The one and only.”

“Oh. I have to meet up with her at some point.”

“Come on now. Let’s not loiter in the hallway. I am sure Miss Marinette would like some tea. And remember your promise.”

“I promise my best.”

“I hope your best is enough. Master Bruce is currently in the study.”

“Great. I don’t have to deal with his annoying face.”

They moved to the living room. Marinette, Jason and Dick catch up on what happened over the years. Mostly on Jason’s and Dick’s part.

Bruce finally comes down the stairs and the room falls silent. The atmosphere suddenly felt thick and hard to breathe, the moment the two made eye contact with each other.

“Marinette. You are still here.”

“Disappointed, Demon Brat?”

Everyone looked shocked, except for Dick and Jason who had started recording on their phone the moment Bruce showed up.

Marinette stood up with folded arms and a murderous glare on her face when she saw what Bruce was wearing. Bruce on the other hand smirked, wearing clothes that clashed terribly and was an absolute eyesore, especially to a fashion designer’s eye.

WTF was happening???? Was running through most of the bat kids’ heads.

“You are doing this on purpose. You are trying to piss me off.”

“You started it by not leaving the moment the amount of time warranted for a visit has passed.”

“I didn’t come here to see you. I came here for Alfred and stayed for them.” She pointed her thumb in the kids’ direction. “You should have stayed in your little man cave, Bats.”

“How about you scurry back to Europe where you belong, Bug, before I eat you.”

“Aw...Look at the cute baby bat, baring his non-existent fangs.”

“I am a full-grown man. You onesie wearing imposter.”

“I was thirteen year old! Thirteen! If we are going to rip each other’s first suits, then let’s talk about that fashion disaster you wore when you first started out. That cape was a walking hazard, much less be used to run around rooftops. It’s a miracle that you can still walk after that accident. And the ears. You looked like a fucking Rabbit.”

“You are one to talk. That cloak incident in the winter gala of- .”

“That doesn’t count. I only fell down because you stepped on it. If memory serves, you embarrassed yourself in front of Miss Kyle by falling face first into the fountain and ran away from the gala, that same day.”

The insults and jabs went on and on. Stories full of blackmail were exchanged.

Jason and Dick are delighted at the blackmail material and grinning like maniacs.

The rest were still in shock at Bruce’s behaviour. This is way different from the Brucie Wayne persona and a far cry from the stoic Batman.

“Face it, Baby brother. You can’t just admit that I am wayyy better than you.”

‘Baby Brother’, Tim mouthed. He looked at the two eldest for answers but were of no help as they try to capture the best angle for their video.

He vaguely remembers the name Red Hood appearing in the news along with Batman and Robin and there being a second Wayne when he was younger.

He thought that they would be exes or something that worked together but the sibling rivalry in front of him made so much sense now.

“I can beat you in a fight any day, Brucie.”

“Well, I am Batman.”

“And I have been doing this hero shtick since I was 13. So weapons or no weapons?”

“No weapons. Alfred won’t appreciate new scratches in the living room. Freestyle, all out brawl, first one pinned or knocked out loses. right here, right now. No hitting the face or between the legs.” He said, taking off his silver glittery suit jacket.

“I like the sound of that.” She said as she took off her red coat and got into a fighting stance. “Give me all you got, demon brat.”

Dick and Jason made sure to clear out the room and continued filming from the stairs.

“She’s like our aunt?” Tim asked.

“Adopted. Like us.” Jason grinned, as Marinette got cornered and did a flip to get out “I like to think that the adoption genes from Thomas and Martha were passed down to B and doubled to explain why there are so many of us.”

“Why has Father never mentioned her to us before?”

“Would you talk about us to your pets if we were living far and far away?” Dick asked.

“You and maybe Cass and Thomas. The rest of you. No. I wouldn’t. You make a good point, Richard.”

The two siblings downstairs had abandoned fighting the proper way and were wrestling on the ground like five years old.

“Master Bruce. Miss Marinette. I expected better from both of you. You are supposed to set a good example for the children.” Alfred had arrived.

They both stopped and broke apart, looking sheepish under Alfred’s disappointed gaze.

“Sorry Alfred.” They both apologised and glared at each other.

“I guess I miss you,” Marinette said first, “Demon Brat.”

“You weren’t miss as much, Imposter.”

Alfred cleared his throat. The two siblings sighed.

“I am sorry for calling you an Imposter and that was very rude of me.” Bruce ‘apologised’ like he had recited that particular sentence too many times.

“I am sorry too for calling you a Demon Brat despite the accuracy of the statement and I endeavour to do less of it in the future, Bruce.”

“Well since dinner is nearly ready, both of you clean up the mess and come to the dining room.”

“Alfred, I really can’t stay-” Marinette started.

“You are staying, Miss Marinette. It has been years since you were here.”

“Fine, because I love your cooking nothing else and Brucie better change his clothes.”

“No.” Bruce replied childishly.

------

At the dinner table,

“So Aunty M, can I call you that?” Tim asked.

“It’s fine. What do you want to ask?”

“I heard you and Bruce talking about magical butterflies in Paris and you starting your um hero career when you were 13 because of it.”

“Oh.” Marinette’s hand on her fork tensed a little. “Wasn’t expecting that but I can see why you are curious.”

“Now that I thought about it, you never told Jason and me the entire story about it.” Dick said.

“You are right. It’s more of the entire incident left too heavy of a mark for me to talk freely about it.”

Bruce looked her with worry in his eyes, “M, you don’t have to say anything you don’t want to.”

Marinette took a bite first while she gathered her thoughts first. “When I was 13 years old, I went on a student exchange program to Paris so I can learn more about my home town….”

She told them about Hawkmoth and the magical earrings she received. The responsibility of the entire city that came with it.

“You don’t sound happy about having magic powers.”

“Well, it happens when you are a just kid with already enough trauma on her plate from four parents dying in front of her. Then, you get chosen to be a hero by some old man just because you decided to be a decent human being and help him cross the street. I repeat, chosen, no training, no information on what exactly was going on. Dropped some magic earrings. which the bad guy clearly wants, into the hands of a child and pushed her out the door to fight in a long tiring war. He got amnesia halfway through the entire thing and left for London. I was young back then but didn’t know any better. At first, it was really fun. Then... If Bruce wasn’t so stubborn and stayed in Gotham like I wanted him to, I might have came out of it way worse.” Her voice was soft as she seemed lost in some painful memories.

“I already lost my parents. I didn’t want to lose another family.” Bruce said.

Marinette smiled, “Yeah. I am thankful for your help. I couldn’t keep you out of superheroing if I tried and Alfred and I tried a lot.”

A few of the Batkids sent smirks towards Bruce to remind him of how they got adopted.

“So how did Bruce help you out?”

“Well, he was more of the Oracle in the situation, tracking down Hawkmoth. Alfred and me kept him from going out, no matter how much he wanted to join the fights. But…” Marinette smirked and Bruce stiffened as he realized what she was going to do.

Marinette moved forward and ‘whispered’, “You should know that you kids aren’t the only ones who parkoured around rooftops in brightly coloured bird-themed suits in your preteens.”

“No way...The Batman was like your Robin?!”

Bruce dropped his face into his hands. “Mari, stop.” He hissed.

“What? I am simply enlightening the children on their heritage.”

Alfred comes in to take away the plates, “I also recall the young Master sneaking out many times to accompany you on your night patrols.”

“Alfred!”

“Nearly forgot about that. There are times where he followed me in his pjamas and a table cloth as a cape when he can’t find where I hid the Miraculouses. Can’t keep him down even when he got sick and was loopy from the medication.”

“Is this the same Mr. Lecture-us-for-not-wearing-our-proper-uniform-when-we-patrol and sneaking out to patrol?”

“One time, I got sick so Bruce wore the earrings to be Ladybug and he had this entire speech prepared for when he take down an akuma that he did in front of the mirror.”

“I thought that you were asleep.” Bruce mumbled in embarrassment.

“You aren’t as quiet and sneaky as you thought you were. Also Chat showed me the video of you taking the akuma down and how he found you when you were practicing the yo-yo.”

“He what?!”

“I also told him to sent it to Alya.”

“No!” Bruce stood up and hurried towards the Batcave. “How did I know about this?”

“Who’s Alya?”

“My reporter friend. Back in the day, she ran the Ladyblog, where she posted information and videos about akuma attacks.”

“So you are saying that there is a video of a tiny Bruce in a red with black polka dot suit, running around Paris on the Internet.”

“I think there are a few featuring him in his Chick-lad suit too. It was the cutest thing ever. Wanna see?”

“Aren’t you worried about him deleting the blog off the internet?” Tim asked as Marinette looked through her phone.

“My brother may be good at hacking but he can’t reach the level of Max Kante who made an AI at fourteen and coded the Ladyblog. Besides, Alya has back-ups and I have back-ups too. Mostly footages of Chick-lad in action.”

“Show us.” they all demanded.

------

In the next JL meeting,

“So regarding the problem in the-” Batman was saying as the presentation screen blacked out.

“On it.” Cyborg said as he got up to make it work again but the screen flickered back on before he can do anything.

‘Batman.’ A voice that suspiciously sounded like Nightwing narrated as clips of Batman fighting on the streets of Gotham, driving the Batmobile, facing off many Gotham Rouges and posing with the other Justice League members played. ‘The Dark Knight of Gotham. The Caped Crusader. Thought to be smartest and most dangerous member of the Justice League.’

‘But all heroes made their start somewhere...’

A news clip played showing Paris being wrecked by an akuma and Nadja reporting the scene. English subtitles are inserted for those who don’t understand French. Most of the members are confused as Batman felt horror beginning to set in. He might not be able to show his face to the other heroes again after this stunt his children had pulled.

The camera zoomed in on the girl in red and black fighting the orange-skinned person with a rope weapon of some sort. Wonder Woman gasped as she recognised a Ladybug user. Then, a younger boy with yellow and red feather designs, slammed into the akuma. The video paused right before the boy made impact with his mouth wide open. A circle is drawn around the boy dressed as a rooster? and an arrow pointed towards him with the words ‘Batman, aged 11’ next to it. ‘Former alias: Chick-lad’ was under it.

Red Hood’s voice was soon heard. ‘This is the infamous Dark Knight in his humble beginning. Before Gotham, there was Paris. The city of Love had dark days upon it. The young boy took up the mantle of Chick-lad and fought the demons that plagued the cities in a rather startling bright yellow. He fought alongside Ladybug who is most known for being the leader of the team that lead the charge. But we are not focusing on her right now. We are going to show you the brave chicken who had feathers on his suit.’

“No. No. No.” Bruce said as he desperately tries to turn the documentary or whatever it was off. Green Arrow and Green Lantern had began recording on their phones. Superman tried not to laugh at his friend. Cyborg looked like he can’t comprehend the boy on the screen was the same dark, not as intimidating anymore, figure in front of him.

Cue clips of Chick-lad in action and dramatically saying a lot of cheesy one-liners and puns as he try to take down akumas by himself with his bow and arrows, much to Ladybug’s visible frustration. Some horrible attempts at trick shots with the bow.

Videos of Ladybug scolding a self-satisfied but bloody Chick-lad on irresponsibly using his powers to tie up citizens for simple crimes like littering.

------

An amused Ladybug filming herelf,

“Hi, Ladybug here, on the 17th June of 19**, Robin Hood over there decided that he was going to see how many cars he can carry.” (LB calls Chick-lad Robin Hood as a nickname in the suits because of the bow.)

Camera switches to said hero under a bus and 5 cars, struggling to hold it up.

“On a good day, he can’t lift 100lbs for two minutes. But with the added Miraculous strength we can lift more than a ton for over an hour. Let’s add more and see what the limit is, shall we?”

“Ladybug, no. Help me. I can’t carry it anymore.”

“No..*Laughs* oh shit. Wait. Hang on. I am coming. Don’t you dare drop that. The Miraculous Ladybug is not for fixing the things you broke.”

Scene Cut.

A masked boy in a black cat suit was filming this time. “Bonjour, beautiful City of Lights, Chat Noir here, LB is taking medical leave due to her illness but her replacement is filling in the meantime and unfortunately, he’s not..the best with the yo-yo.”

The camera move to show Chick-lad in a red and black form-fitting suit with some armour. He was suspended in mid-life, tangled up with strings and hanging from what looks like the structure of the Eiffel Tower like a bug trapped in a spider web. He was furiously trying to get free but gets more tangled up in the strings.

“Paris is doomed.” Chat Noir deadpanned before asking, “Should I be getting LB, little chick?”

“No. Do not get my sister. I told her that I can handle Paris while she is incacipated and I will....once I get out of these stupid things.”

“Don’t diss the yo-yo. It did nothing to you.”

“It’s a horrible choice for a weapon. Bows and arrows are way better.”

-----

Green Arrow laughed, “I have to get a recording of that.”

Batman had given up trying to turn the thing off (he cursed his decision to make the screen battery-powered so it didn’t turn off when he pulled the plug) and was face-down on the table with sympathetic pats from Wonder Woman while she fan-girled in the moments when Ladybug is on screen.

Flash had gone and gotten popcorn for everyone.

-----

Someone filming Chick-lad as he taunts the akuma and evading its attacks until a yo-yo wrapped around him and pulled him out of the akuma’s range. The camera followed his trajectory. There was a pissed Ladybug on a nearby rooftop, now holding Chick-lad by the back of his suit.

“CHICKEN-LAD FOGHORN LEGHORN THOMAS WA- BUG. You are in so much trouble.”

“There was an akuma.” He weakly said

“You were grounded by Al and I can handle the akuma.”

“Well, Ladybug.” The akuma said, “Prepare to be-”

“Shut it. Can’t you see that I am talking to this little superhero here who is supposed to be at home because he is grounded?” The akuma obeyed and awkwardly stood around.

“Al was worried when you disappeared. Stop being so reckless, you piece of drumsticks.”

“This is rich coming from the girl who lets herself get eaten by a T-Rex.”

“It was part of the plan and you mister are going home right now.”

“No.”

“Do it or you ain’t getting any of Al’s snickerdoodles.”

“Fine.”

-----

“Hey, Robin Hood! Whatcha thinking about?”

Chick-lad was in a familiar pose of Batman when he is in his brooding mood.

He didn’t look up, ignoring his sister. Ladybug placed an egg under him as the camera shakes from suppressed giggles.

“Are you brooding again? I swear it’s hard to...no way.” Ladybug said in faux surprise.

This got Chick-lad’s attention. “What?”

“There’s an egg under you. How is there an egg up here?!”

The tiny hero stood up, “Har Har, no way I am falling for that... Holy shit, that’s an egg. How is it here?”

“Unless…”

Chick-lad looked horrified. “No…I mean there is no feasible way that I..”

“You laid an egg!”

“No no no no….nuh uh...I did not lay an egg.”

“I mean you brood all the time and the pro-long use of the Miraculous does give certain characteristics to our human bodies.”

“Your weird craving of aphids is a way different territory than me laying an egg. I laid an egg, Ladybug! I can’t do that. I am a healthy male Rooster.”

“That’s your own child you are talking about.”

“I am not ready to be a father.” (The caption ‘said the man who proceeds to adopt a gazillion children’ appeared under Chick-lad.)

“Well, what do we do with it?” Chick-lad asked as he tentatively picked the egg up.

“We could eat it. Omelet for breakfast sounds good.” Ladybug suggested.

“No. We are not going to eat my kid.” “So you decided to be a responsible father, then, little brother.”

Chick-lad caressed the egg like it was a precious baby, “Help me hide it from Alfred. I will do anything.”

“Deal.”

Screen cut to a dark screen like a camera was hidden inside a bag.

“-ONE WEEK! THAT’S SEVEN DAYS, 168 HOURS, 10080 MINUTES OR 604800 SECONDS!”

Someone was laughing very hard.

“THAT’S HOW LONG YOU WATCHED ME BABY THAT FAKE EGG AND MADE ME THINK I WAS THE FATHER. FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK, YOU WATCHED ME SING LULLUBIES AND TELL STORIES TO IT.”

“Fatherhood suited you.”

“I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT YOU EVEN GOT ALFRED IN ON IT!!! ALFRED!”

“He thought this might make you learn to be more responsible. And hush you don’t want to wake up little Eggbert.”

“You are the worst.”

Ladybug cackles, “I know.”

------

The compilation lasted 20 minutes before it ended with a side-by-side comparisons of the various poses by Chick-lad, next to a Batkid trying to recreate it.

Batman stood up with every shred of dignity he still had left, “None of you will breathe a word about what happened today.” and walked out of the room.

“How is it after being embarrassed like that he manages to still scare me?”

There are a few inside jokes made from that ‘presentation’. Phrases like ‘the chicken grew up to be a bat’ baffled other members’ who didn’t see it. Until Oliver and Hal did a movie night and showed them the video that Oracle emailed them.

Ollie got a recording of a young Bruce saying “Bow and arrows are better.” in French on his phone. It’s one of the phrases in French that he knows. He says it everytime Batman has a disagreement with him. (Bruce once took out a custom bat-bow and arrows in a meeting and did an awesome archery trick that narrowly missed Green Arrow by a millimetre and proceeds to say that his skills are ‘rusty’.)

Later, he would tell newbie heroes that Batman once said, “C'est un choix d'armes horrible. L'arc et les flèches sont meilleurs.” and that means, “It’s a horrible choice of weapons. Bow and arrows are better.” in French. Bruce walked by once and told the newbie that it was taken out of context and that the horrible weapon in question was a yo-yo.

Wonder Woman passed her number to Batman to give it to Ladybug in front of everyone.

“Hey, Supes, who’s that?”

“It’s Batman’s sister, apparently. Used to be a superheroine with some magic earrings about twenty years ago. And those earrings used to belong to Diana’s mother.”

“Batman has a sister? And there’s two of them?”

-----

Stephenie had tried to fight crime with a yo-yo. It went horribly for everyone involved.

Damian asked to spar with Marinette before she left. She beats him with a custom yo-yo since she rarely uses the Miraculous nowadays. She left it for Damian as a very late or early birthday present.

Damian had trained himself to use it as a weapon since if his aunt can do it, so can he and carries it around because it has benefits like ‘it’s a toy, Father. It’s to entertain myself in that boring prison they call school.’

He also learned how to do tricks with it. He took down some would-be kidnappers with the yo-yo as Damian Wayne. (Stephanie was jealous of how good Damian was and asked him to teach her.)

------

Marinette and Bruce finally made up (skipping over the angst plot) and there were more visits from Aunty M. She does turn down being a vigilante again, choosing to focus on her new role as co-CEO of Wayne Enterprise to lighten the load but made a special appearance on a very busy night.

“Eddie! How are you? I see you are still doing purple on green.”

That voice. Whoever said that Batman was scarier one was wrong. The OG Red Hood was the one who plagues his nightmares to this day.

The Riddler turned around, hoping he was wrong. The rumours said that she was dead. But dying meant nothing to the Bats since the second Robin came back to life and was the current Red Hood.

There was a chilling sound of metal against concrete walls. “Eddie…”

“You can’t be real. You can’t.” His men were looking at him like he had gone mad. They had never seen their boss this terrified before. A few older ones from the early days dropped their weapons and run off.

Out of the shadows, a figure in red stepped out and the metal of her gun glinted under fluorescent light.

“I left Gotham for a nice vacation and what do I see after 5 years of absence? Idiots like you who still pairs green with purple.”

Riddler gets on his knees and began begging for mercy. Riddler’s goons get knocked out by the other bats as OG Red Hood tore into his fashion choices.

-----

“I mean I don’t get why people is getting so worked up over this new Red Hood.” A newbie henchman said.

“There’s another one? Did the current up and one die again?” Penguin asked.

“No. I think they are sharing the name. The old one is still around but there’s another one with the same name. She’s the one without a helmet and wears an actual red hood. I heard rumours that she has a voice of a demon, literally. They also say that Riddler surrendered himself when she showed up on the scene. You okay, boss?” he asked a very pale Penguin.

“She’s back. I thought she left for good. Batman probably welcomed her back with open arms if she is back on the streets catching the likes of us. Pack your bags, boys. We are moving out of Gotham.”

“Why? And where to, boss?”

“Anywhere but here.”

“Come on, Boss. She’s just another Bat. More work for us but we can handle her.”

“You fools. That woman is the Red Hood. The Original before there were any Robins working for Batman. When the name Batman was nothing more than a myth, a bogeyman for criminals, she was Bloody Mary story. Say her name three times and she will show up to hunt you down. The Red Hood you know now is great at catching criminals yes but she is the predator and we are the prey. She will stop at nothing, I repeat nothing to catch us. With Batman, he will let us get away to save the innocents. With her, I once left her with a ticking time bomb stuck to several hostages and got on a train to Chicago. Do you know who I saw when the train pulled into the station? She was standing on the platform, with that red hood over her head, waiting for me.”

“Aren’t you a little old for campfire stories, Oswald?” The voice asked with amusement from behind him. The same voice that had Riddler screaming for the hills. Penguin turned very pale.

“You are not getting me this time.” Penguin snarled as he called for his men and activated the bomb under his club.

“None of that now.” She grabbed the remote and de-activated the bomb. She then grabbed his collar and put a gun to his head.

“You remember what happened to the old Black Mask the last time I was here, right? When Batman was less tolerant of people breaking his no-kill rule. I will make you join him if you don’t call off your men and give me the information I came here for. I will even spare you from paying for your medical bills if you cooperate nicely and turn yourself back into Arkham.”

Penguin agreed, begging for his life.

Reblog if you are a fic writer who welcomes moodboards, playlists, remixes, art and any other type of gift based on your stories.

This is either Marinette just after Origins, practicing her Ladybugness or right after she finds out Adrien loves Ladybug

Based off this vine

thanks!

News reporter, on live television: I'm here with Peter Parker, who was publicly outed against his will 4 hours ago. Mr Parker, a few words?

Peter, crying: EVERYONE KNOWS I'M BI???

News reporter:

News reporter: well now we do

important!

I haven’t seen this on here so I thought I might share:

There isn’t a petition for this yet (as far as I know) but sign the #JunkTerrorBillNow petition

I always find it kind of weird that matriarchal cultures in fiction are always “women fight and hunt, men stay home and care for the babies” because world-building-wise, it makes no sense

think about it. like, assuming that gender even works the same in this fantasy culture as it does in ours, with gender conflated with sex (because let’s be real, all of these stories assume that), men wouldn’t be the ones to make the babies, so why would they be the ones to care for the babies? why is fighting and hunting necessary for leadership?

writing a matriarchy this way is just lazy, because you’re just taking the patriarchy and just swapping the people in it, rather than actually swapping the culture. especially when there are so many other cool things you could explore. like, what if it’s not a swap of roles but of what society deems important?

maybe a matriarchy would have hunting and fighting be part of the man’s job, but undervalued. like taking the trash out or cleaning toilets: necessary, but gross, and not noble or interesting. maybe farming is now the most important thing, and is given a lot of spiritual and cultural weight.

how would law work? what crimes would exist, and what things would be considered too trivial to make illegal? who gets what property? why?

how would religion work? how would you mark time or the passage into adulthood? what would marriage look like? if bloodlines are through the mother, bastardy wouldn’t even be a concept - how does that work?

what qualities would be most important in a person? how would you define strength or leadership? what knowledge would be the most coveted and protected? what acts or roles are considered useless or degrading?

like, you can’t just take our current society and say you’re turning it on its head when you’re just regurgitating it wholesale. you have to really think about why things are the way they are and change that. 

Women Self Defense in 1947

Fuck. I’m Gay.

I’ve been reading a lot of ml salt fics lately (mainly @unmaskedagain which is a literal goldmine of saltiness). And getting into the Damienette ship. Marinette really does deserves better (Fuck Canon) but so does Adrien. He is not a “sidekick”. Chat Noir and Ladybug are partners = equals. So I decided why not write a fic where Adrien gets his own happy ending in the form of a grumpy assassin-turned-vigilante that loves animals more than people. 

Somewhat of a crack writing where creative liberties were definitely taken. 

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Lila Rossi is a bitch and everyone knew it. Well, by everyone, Adrien means himself, his good-amazing-make-pastries-for-him friend Marinette, his maybe-not-really-sure friend Chloe and his-not-that-close-really-classmate Nathaniel. 

Yeah. It was a small number. 

But Lila is still a bitch. 

Keep reading

Marinette Career Day AU

What about an AU about career day. Twice a month a student from Bustier’s class brings in a family member (mom/dad/granda/aunt/cousin/sister/brother) whoever they want to speak about their chosen jobs.

Marinette’s turn is coming is coming up but Marinette’s parents have the opportunity of a lifetime so she doesn’t tell them. Her grandparents are busy too. Instead, since her parents aren’t active on Social Media she bemoans the fact on twitter.

Not realizing just how many of her clients/celebrity friends/pen pals so called “Aunts and Uncles” would read this and decide this JUST WILL NOT STAND.

Cue Jagged Stone kicking opening the door to Marinette’s class only to find Clara Nightengale already giving an excellent speech, and then being put out because he has to wait in line between an Avenger and Lena Luthor but at least he wasn’t last. (That would be a very put out looking man who called himself the Doctor)

It could be worse though. At least he didn’t have to follow up Lois Lane. That would a very put out group of FBI Agents, from something called the BAU, who kept eyeing an oblivious Loki suspiciously. A pretty dark haired woman kept reminding a stern looking guy named Hotch they didn’t have Jurisdiction in France. While the rest of their team lost their shit over Spencer discussing psychology with Harley Quinn.

Basically just a bunch of celebrities crashing Marinette’s career day and Marinette just being so done with the world

Salty or not, i’m good either way

@virgil-is-a-cutie