So At Some Point, A Person Left A Review Talking About The Potential Of Angels Having Bird Like Courting

So at some point, a person left a review talking about the potential of angels having bird like courting rituals, which they meant in the context of dancing. Angels have wings like birds, angels are graceful dancers, it makes sense, and it would be super cute to have these elaborate courtship dances, or even a bower bird set-up where Lucifer feverishly creates a pretty room for Adam. But my brain just dropped the comedic idea of…the penguins that offer their mate a rock.

I just imagine Adam going about his day in Hell, and all of a sudden Lucifer is there and he just hands him a rock while giving him a piercing stare about it. And Adam is in the know about these things, like he knows about the whole rock deal, and I imagine he’s hard to please and Lucifer’s generally on his shit list, so he turns the rock down.

So he looks for more rocks. The search for rocks becomes an obsession. Every time someone sees this man he’s staring at a series of small rocks with utmost concentration. The rock must be perfect. They’re sorted in color and moh’s hardness scale order. He’s made detailed notes on which rocks Adam looks at a millisecond longer. He’s going to find the perfect rock.

But no one else aside from Vaggie knows what the rock stuff is, and she’s not telling anyone because she thinks this is hilarious, so to everyone else it’s just Lucifer trying to hand Adam a series of rocks, increasingly more desperately, and it’s always done with this really weird vibe and heavy gravitas and at some point even Alastor is like wtf is going on with these rocks.

it would only get better when Adam finally accepts a rock and I can imagine it being another perfectly ordinary looking rock, but the fallout is intense. He puts the rock in his pocket and Lucifer bursts into tears and Vaggie loses her mind, (so does Charlie because Vaggie eventually spills to her) and Adam and Lucifer start making out immediately because they’ve been courting for months so now kissing is accepted. But to everyone else it’s the conclusion to a weird rock obsession.

This is the sort of thing I think about when I’m meant to be writing other things.