Chaoticnightmarekitty - Vent Rant Blog Yippie

Any other landmines/jirais out there with NO anons, NO huge following, NO reason to wake up every day- I mean, what?

jiraiblr in a nutshell

GUESS WHAT? IT'S TIME FOR A WEIRD METAPHOR TO EXPLAIN HOW I FEEL!!!

The only way I can explain it is this:

I'm in a cage. I built it, I put myself here (perhaps through the coaxing of others, but I was the one to step in). I know it like the back of my hand. Like my own street. I was the one who locked myself in and only I have the key to leave. It's in my hand.

It was kinda nice at first. To sit alone and bathe in my own misery, watching people pass by and never come towards the door. But now I hate it.

"So?" You ask, "why don't you just unlock the door and leave? The option is there."

I can't.

I tremble towards the lock, sometimes I'll even unlock it. But the door stays closed. I will lock it again. And again. And again. And again. And then I'll scurry back to the corner of the cage like a frightened dog, tail in-between my legs.

And nobody cares if I came out. They don't visit. They don't acknowledge or ask why. They won't even spare a glance. I'll be the same person I always was. And the cage will still lie in wait for the next time. The only person who encourages me to leave is a woman who sees many cages, she even unlocked the door from her side and held it open for me. But I remain here.

If I go, I'll be in a world that I watched develop from my corner of my cage, but never really had a part in. Especially before. Especially now. Things I won't understand and people who won't want me. And I'll miss it.

So, I'll just stay here. Until I rot. Perhaps leaving the door open, but always never stepping out.

About to reinstall discord!!

To check if i missed any important messages!1!!

To check if my favorite person messaged me!!!

To only see an empty inbox

To 0 messages

To an empty dm list.

Another reminder that I have no one to talk to.

I feel awful. I get this dread that I'm behind. I feel like I won't be able to graduate on time. I have the majority of my high school credits, but I feel so behind. I don't have some other stuff I need plus I don't even have a license I feel so useless and incapable.

Eyes of the forest. Aspen trees

im slowly losing it

I'm so normal w games that let me pretend im loved

i love tumblr because you see someone losing their mind and you’re just like “omg me tooooo!” *reblog*