There Are Times When I Am Convinced I Am Unfit For Any Human Relationship.

good emotional skills to know 4 college but also in general

this is stuff that i’ve found helpful and am in the process of working on. they may not be achievable for you without help and may not work for your specific circumstance, but this is a list of suggestions that you might be able to think about. i am also not a mental health professional so please do feel free to contradict me!!

self soothing.  having a toolbox to take care of yourself by yourself. bc sometimes nobody else is available and you just gotta put some lotion on, listen to a tune, and go to bed early. 

checking in. checking in with yourself to see if you’re okay. knowing how to alter your strategies when your strategies aren’t working. knowing when your strategies aren’t working. this is just taking some time every day to reflect on what goals you didn’t meet and why and what you can do to fix that.

there’s nothing you “should” be doing. if you get caught up thinking “i should be doing x” that’s false! stop that! “should” be doing better implies that you have some obligation to do whatever it is that you “should” be doing. you don’t owe anybody except yourself. analyze why you think you should be doing that thing and change that into…. “i want to be doing x because…” or “doing x will make me happier, because…”. overall, more productive and less self-shamey. 

disconnecting from the crowd. eating in a crowded dining hall can be stressful! knowing how to be alone in a crowd and stay calm is helpful

being okay with being alone.  tbh college is kind of… being alone a lot, in my experience. even though you’re surrounded by people, a lot of time is spent alone. making friends is hard. your friends have different schedules. you’re busy. shit sucks. we make the best of it.

knowing yourself. this relates to a lot of what i’ve already said but like. knowing your emotional state and knowing what helps trick the monkey brain is helpful. stop repressing your feelings, friends.

talking to strangers. ordering from a menu! paying library fines. going to office hours. asking for a cashier at the register if there isn’t one. ya this is hard. ya you gotta expose yourself. sometimes i just try playing a persona. like this isn’t me ordering a sandwich. this is a cool me who knows how to talk to people who is ordering a sandwich.

you don’t have to be friends with your roommates. you just have to live together in a way that doesn’t make you two hate each other. ideally, you two will coexist in a way that doesn’t interfere with the other’s daily life.

give and taking. on the topic of roommates, sometimes your roommate can be a shitty person, but sometimes you are the shitty person! give a little but if they’re negatively impacting your life, communicate.

communicating during disagreements. explain what your emotions are instead of blaming them. “i feel hurt when you…” or “i feel frustrated when” or “i feel unappreciated when.” if things get heated, ask if you both can take a ten minute break and then come back. and don’t bring up disagreements when the other party is preoccupied or going somewhere. you can legitimately schedule a discussion.

it’s okay to apologize. learning to swallow your pride gets easier each time.

knowing that people work differently than you. some people are not gonna click with you and it’s gonna seem like they have this whole brain process up there that is totally unlike yours. and yeah! that’s how it is. and that’s chill if they aren’t hurting anyone else. work with them and be flexible!! 

comforting people. you will probably/definitely see someone cry! hell if i know how to comfort people. someone please help. but some things i’ve learned are: 1) different people need different things. different people need different things! 2) people need different things at different times. 3) you can ask them what they want and it won’t be weird. 4) apparently a lot of people like hugs? but ask. and it’s okay to not want a hug. 5) just show that you care in some way if you don’t know what they need. i used to think that if somebody needed to tell me what they needed it was a sign that i just didn’t know them well enough and we weren’t compatible or i wasn’t being a good friend. that’s fake! friendship isn’t based off of fitting naturally in every way and making an effort to be good for them is important.

knowing it’s okay to not be liked by everyone. it’s okay if strangers think you’re dumb because you said something dumb in public. you know you’re not dumb. it’s okay if not everybody you meet likes you. it’s okay if you do something cringey. everybody has their own shit to deal with and you will not shatter their world.  grow and move on!

forgiving yourself. i’m trying this new thing where when i feel embarrassed about something i say. out loud. “i forgive myself.” and then i just try to grow from that and move on without getting caught in a spiral of shame.

knowing what you need vs what you want and what is better at the time. what you need: a shower. what you want: to not do that. solution: take a shower! or maybe what you actually need is to go to sleep? but guess what. you probably know what is good for you. the hard part is actually doing it.

realize that building habits is less work than discipline. emotional effort is expended every time you have to make yourself do something. just make it part of your routine and you’ll just think it’s normal to do all the good things! like, for example, i’m trying to make it a habit to eat structured meals instead of a “eat when i’m hungry” thing because i know that makes me skip meals, which is bad!

you won’t be able to do everything. forgive yourself for that. write down  things that are top priority and focus on them. everything else is not important right now and you shouldn’t beat yourself up for not being able to do them.

your health is important. i’m not saying health will solve all your problems. it won’t! but health will cause a lot of your problems to go away. because let’s face it. not sleeping causes a lot of problems. 

it’s okay to ask for help. we say this a lot but it’s hard to internalize it. here’s a thought: there’s so much shame and hesitation about asking for help so by doing that you’re actually being proactive (which is respectable) and mature, and therefore… not weak or stupid. ask for help even before you need it! most people love to help others. and especially take advantage of people who are OFFERING help. for example: counselors at school or TAs. it’s literally their job. they want to do it. and if you don’t want to talk to anybody in real life, my inbox is always open.

stacy szymaszek, a good job for a poet

I wanted to talk a little bit about the five over-excitabilities (OEs) that gifted people experience. Giftedness is about more than just intelligence: it affects how people feel, behave, and interact with the world.

This is a very simplified description of each over-excitability, so I encourage you to do some more research if this topic interests you. Also, please realize that while “gifted” is the most common term, “asynchronous development” has less stigma around it and is the more specific term.

[If you found this educational or helpful, please reblog this! It takes a long time to make these, so I would appreciate it.]

Very female trait of Jesus to die for mankind's character development

Defending the  Robin proposal

In the case of the storyline it worked - there’s poetic symbolism in the fact that we first see “the playbook” the episode after they break up in 5.07 and the last time Barney uses a play (I do not count the finale as existing as it is a OOC mess written back in 2006) to get the girl he wants to marry.

Part of it also is because it is Robin. It’s Robin, who has known (and has been in love) with Barney for years - but is too scared to admit it or go for it because she’s afraid she’ll lose him and be even more heartbroken. This is Barney’s way of saying “this is me, this is who I am, I love you, I hope you want me, forever now.” Robin’s known Barney for nearly 8 years, she understands this.

Also note the last step is not Barney getting the girl. The last step is “hope she says yes,” Robin has every right to say no (again, contrast this to Ted who pretty much tries to force Robin to date him in 1.24), she knows what Barney’s done, she knows which bits were a play - she knows how she’s been manipulated into this situation and can therefore separate it from the real feelings she feels. To me the proposal is saying “I want you, forever, or nothing.” (again, ignore the finale - the series doesn’t make sense with the finale) if Robin says “no,” he’ll stop going after her. The power is in Robin’s hands. All Barney has done is proven to her that she loves him and he loves her and he wants to be with her forever.

Randomabc

https://how-i-met-your-mother.fandom.com/wiki/The_Robin

— Fiona Apple

I am back. Kind of? Anyway, here’s a list of series I’ve finished that I love:

1. Sands of Arawiya by Hafsah Faizal - enemies to we’re figuring it out to you’ll have to read the second book to see, embracing our power, found family, slow burn

2. The Never Tilting World duology by Rin Chupeco - healthy romance between goddesses and mortals as in the goddesses are not 100+ years old, they are 17-19 (I don’t remember), bodyguard x royal romance, world building with commentary on climate change

3. An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir - one of the most epic fantasy series of all time, I love it because each book is so different and tied together in terms of plot, I love the main character’s arcs, the history of the world is so interesting

4. Ignite the Stars by Maura Milan - I read this one a while ago so I don’t remember all of the details, but I love the sci-fi fantasy world, I would love to see this as a TV show, also the main character is morally grey and is not just on a journey to try to take over the universe

5. The Bone Witch by Rin Chupeco - another morally grey character, the magic system is unlike any other that I’ve read, every one of Rin’s books is amazing and I think I’ve read every single one except for the sequel to The Girl from the Well

What if the guy in Nabi’s mom’s bedroom was Jae Eon himself???? Like how did he know it was her bd, which train station she was at, at that she should make up with her mom???

What language are you fluent in?

silence 

taylor swift really wrote two albums for the hopeful romantics, the dark academics, the yearning lovers and the quiet souls of the world